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Reviews
Luther the Geek (1989)
Geeking out on bad movie-making
I honestly think that if I watched this movie in the 80s, I would have been very upset that I had to sit through this. It is not well acted, directed, written or edited, and the cinematography is horrible. Even with all of that being said, today I have to admit that it was plenty entertaining.
Luther the Geek is such a mediocre movie that it is actually entertaining. Under no circumstances would I recommend this movie to anybody else, but being a fan of all kinds of horror movies, I rather enjoyed the cheesiness of it all, and the writers in ability to put together any semblance of flow.
If you ever find yourself nostalgic for bad 80s movies, this is a good one.
Night Swim (2024)
Glad I don't own a pool.
Night Swim is more of a retro story in the 70s era. It's pretty formulaic. It involves more the story, the characters, and the scares.
I liked the story they built and the characters. It was built well enough to move everything along and get to the good stuff. I did think it was a bit choppy. The reaction in terms of progression of incidences seemed off.
When Russell showed up in Captain America, I wasn't the biggest fan, but I guess with enough exposure, he's grown on me. Everyone else was well cast also.
I thought the twist was good, and the ending was standard, but I enjoyed the characters enough that it still had impact.
I thought the scares were very effective. The grabber had a huge impact on me and instantly sucked me into the movie. The ominous tone when some thing was going to happen, took on a Paranormal Activity feel at times. I think they did a lot with the environment and enjoyed how creeped out they made me feel.
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
Basic in every way but visuals.
Rebel Moon seems to work off the premise that all we want to see is something pretty. Literally an hour and a half of this could be put into a short montage, but it drug out to be most of the movie.
Casting did an amazing job, but the pay off is equivalent to hiring Lewis Hamilton to drive your go cart. All of these actors weren't allowed the room to do anything to earn their paychecks. There is zero depth. It's a massively simplistic story that in no way motivates me to watch the next installment. Unfortunately, it's another example of Netflix not being too particular about what it throws onto it's streaming service.
I've never been a huge Snyder fan, and Rebel Moon does absolutely nothing to move that needle. I wouldn't even recommend this movie to people who are curious because of all the hype.
The Flash (2023)
A great Marvel movie.
Yes, I know it is a DC movie, but this is what Marvel's movies used to be for me. A very good story, the right amount of humor mixed with action mixed with drama, likable characters, and a storyline that doesn't make you look at your watch. The story was deep enough that I didn't get bored, but not so deep that it became distracting from the movie itself. The criticisms of the CGI can't be argued, but I would take more frequent movies like this with mediocre CGI over fewer movies with flawless CGI that doesn't change anything besides the aesthetics.
I know Miller has his own issues. It is unfortunate that the events that unfolded for him is what was necessary for him to get the help he needed. I don't judge most actors. If I did, I probably wouldn't have anything to watch. Ezra Miller is a wonderful actor who was a huge part in making this movie as good as it is.
It's too bad this iteration of the Flash is ending in our timeline. I would have loved to watch another Flash movie or two and see Miller's guest appearances and others as well.
The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)
Decent follow-up.
The first Human Centipede wasn't bad, and the follow up isn't as good except for the main characters creepiness. It made me think about One Hour Photo and what it would have looked like if that main character had become completely unhinged. I doubt I will follow up with part three, but all in all I'm not upset that I watched this film. I would say it's still better than at least half of what Hollywood usually puts out.
The story trades along nicely enough that it keeps my attention throughout. I'm not a huge fan of black and white, but it's decent enough in The Human Centipede II. It probably helped save money with all of the blood and poop flying around. I watched it on Tubi, and it's not one of the deeper movies that the few commercials it had breaks the pace of the film.
The Hand That Feeds (2021)
Missing the basics
The Hand that Feeds had too many flaws to be considered good. Not being one to look for errors when I'm watching a movie, too many built up for me to not notice. I've never written a movie, but I failed to see how this was laid out and the holes weren't seen. If the demon killed the man's family randomly, that was one hell of a coincidence. If the demon was doing it to punish his keeper, that wasn't made clear. I don't see how it was knowingly so easy to kill the demon. If it was that easy and inpermanent, there should have been a reason given. The love interest was way too lenient on the lead in the end. I know it would have been low hanging fruit to have them meet down the road, have a conversation, and as she walked away, we find the demon isn't dead in some way and it's following her. Even that ending would have been better than the one we got. One thing that I do notice is bad music. It's easy to pick up in this movie.
The bright side to this movie is the potential it would've had in another director's hands. Knowing that it is a low budget movie, holding the effects against the producers would have been dumb. They are good enough to get the point across. I love cheesy acting, And The Hand that Feeds is full of it. Even the experienced actor they had here was horrible. It was fantastic.
If I had to talk about the bright side of The Hand that Feeds, it would be Tricia Buerke. She is a good actor. I was glad for every scene she was in. If this is one of her earlier tries, I would expect to see her in bigger movies down the road.
There's no way this movie was watched by a bunch of random people who gave it 10/10 stars. I mean, have some pride in your work. That being said, I would say that The Hand that Feeds wouldn't dazzle my fellow B-movie horror fans, but it is a decent watch.
The Hand That Feeds (2021)
Missing the basics
The Hand that Feeds had too many flaws to be considered good. Not being one to look for errors when I'm watching a movie, too many built up for me to not notice. I've never written a movie, but I failed to see how this was laid out and the holes weren't seen. If the demon killed the man's family randomly, that was one hell of a coincidence. If the demon was doing it to punish his keeper, that wasn't made clear. I don't see how it was knowingly so easy to kill the demon. If it was that easy and inpermanent, there should have been a reason given. The love interest was way too lenient on the lead in the end. I know it would have been low hanging fruit to have them meet down the road, have a conversation, and as she walked away, we find the demon isn't dead in some way and it's following her. Even that ending would have been better than the one we got. One thing that I do notice is bad music. It's easy to pick up in this movie.
The bright side to this movie is the potential it would've had in another director's hands. Knowing that it is a low budget movie, holding the effects against the producers would have been dumb. They are good enough to get the point across. I love cheesy acting, And The Hand that Feeds is full of it. Even the experienced actor they had here was horrible. It was fantastic.
If I had to talk about the bright side of The Hand that Feeds, it would be Tricia Buerke. She is a good actor. I was glad for every scene she was in. If this is one of her earlier tries, I would expect to see her in bigger movies down the road.
There's no way this movie was watched by a bunch of random people who gave it 10/10 stars. I mean, have some pride in your work. That being said, I would say that The Hand that Feeds wouldn't dazzle my fellow B-movie horror fans, but it is a decent watch.
To Leslie (2022)
Brings me back to the time of great movies.
In a good movie with a good cast, Andrea Riseborough is given the greenlight to demonstrate her ability to be great at her craft. A bunch of movies made regarding this subject deal either with people at the bottom or headed towards it. To Leslie highlights a woman at the bottom building her way back to something resembling normalcy. It is an emotional journey that ends on a happy yet cautious note.
The greatest travesty about to Leslie is negative responses some gave to Riseborough's nomination. There were some people who would have preferred other actors were nominated for doing a decent to good job in movies that made more money. I always say the if you want to earn something but get beat by someone else to "be better." In her category in 2022, Riseborough was one of the best and was rewarded for it.
Rainbow (2022)
Didn't quite make it over the rainbow.
Honestly, it is too bad about Rainbow. The preview looked really good, but for some reason I kept it on my list for a while. I was hesitant to watch it and couldn't exactly explain why. Now that I've seen the movie I can tell you why: it's not very good. I thought the vagueness of the Wizard of Oz was creative without making it too hard to see. They didn't make it some blatant shifting of the old tale to a modern one. This was its own story. The characters were all fantastic, and I thought they had a good chemistry together. Everything else about this movie was not good. As I said it IS it's own story, but it's a bad one. The writing was bad, and some of the design ideas were a bit out there for me. I hope there are people that do who do Rainbow, but I'm not one of them.
The Clown Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
B-horror at its most awkward.
The best I can say about The Clown Chainsaw Massacre is it looked like a group of friends had a great time making a movie.
It's 45 minutes long and that's WAY too long for this. There was a lot of wasted space. Shots of actors walking with nothing going on, then they're standing around talking. They spent however long showing six people awkwardly dancing in a huge space. That part was insanely entertaining though.
While they were in the Halloween store, they made no clown reference? As much time as they spent in there, they couldn't make it interesting? Funny? Couldn't show him in the Halloween shop lurking about?
And finally in the end, it was... over. I mean they stopped at some point and called it a day. Im going to say it's worth a watch just to get a kick out of how bad it is.
Skinamarink (2022)
Can this even count as a movie?
Every once in a while I come across something that makes me wonder if people just want to appreciate something as art because they were told it was such by someone else. That's exactly what I thought about with Skinamarink. There is really nothing here as far as a decent or even bad movie.
I went through some articles explaining what Skinamarink is about and what it meant to them and what the director was going for. That honestly didn't help any. There is so little to take from this movie that I would recommend anyone who can't look at a blue painted canvas and be amazed at the quality of art it is stay as far away from this film as possible. There isn't anything at the end in case you start watching it and think it HAS TO go somewhere.
I keep hearing and reading people say that it was made off of a $15,000 budget. My question to that is how? I'm not sure it would've taken more than a few hundred bucks to make this without much motivation to keep the budget down.
Kim Bok-nam salinsageonui jeonmal (2010)
Don't pass this movie up!
Bedeviled is a movie on another level for me. For the longest time there have been only two movies that really shook me: Dead Ringers and The Magdalene Sisters. I'm not talking gore or "grotesquely shocking scenes." Those movies come and go. I'm talking the ones that dig their heals in, make you tense up all over, and forbid you from blinking. Enter number three of movies that have really gotten to me: Bedevilled. It's a slow burn, but absolutely goes somewhere. Even once the credits begin to role, it will be difficult to decide who was the victim and who was the villain, as it were. Also subtitled. Incredible watch.
Till (2022)
Overhyped by some
I watched Till last night and have to say I understand why it didn't get the Oscar attention the people involved in the movie wanted. What I usually say at times like this is "be better." The only person who stood out to me was the young man who played Emmett Till, Jaylin Hall. He's a charismatic young man who I would love to see a best supporting nod for, but I'm not sure he was on-screen long enough. I don't know what the criteria is.
I've known the story of Emmett Till for over a decade and it hurts my heart every time I come across his funeral photo. The movie didn't give me a hint of that pain while I was watching the movie. The cinematography wasn't fantastic. It LOOKED like a movie made in 2022 to look like the 50s. After Emmitt dies, they focus on the mother and can't get away from her. MLK Jr was a new activist who was deeply touched by the incident, and the Rosa Parks incident happened just after the murder, but they remained focused on the mother. After the men were found innocent, they admitted they murdered Emmett, but the movie was cut off without us seeing it.
I'm not saying I wouldn't recommend it. Besides not knowing what exactly happened during the unwitnessed interaction leading to the murder (which Carolyn Bryant has since admitted her version is false), it seems to have been thoroughly investigated and gives a factual portrayal of what happened.
I hope others who watch it find it to be better than I did. If they could find a way to get a movie out of it, I would love to see something about a man named Joe Delaney. He's an ex-football player I think more people should know about. And he's worth looking up.
Hai Phuong (2019)
I was Taken with Furie
Grab yourself a copy of Taken, throw in a dash of an amazing vietnamese actress, sprinkle it with great cinematography, two cups of unbelievable fight choreography, bake it on high intensity for an hour and 38 minutes, and you've got Furie, a 2019 movie showing on Prime Video. If Liam Neeson taught us not to kidnap a man's daughter, Veronica Ngo makes your choice easy if you're ever thinking about kidnapping a mother's daughter. Sorry Maggie, but you're coming with me.
Just like Taken did, Furie had me wishing someone would nab my daughter so I could exact my revenge in a most savage way. Ironically enough, I would have to kidnap someone's daughter so I could have one to be kidnapped. Now it's suddenly not worth the trouble. This movie is worth an hour and a half of your time. And if you don't like it, you're welcome to use your particular set of skills that you've acquired over a very long career that make you a nightmare for people like me to look for me, find me, and kill me.
Girls Against Boys (2012)
The ending?
The movie started out fairly well. It had an entertaining concept and was taking a standard approach for this type of movie. It kept moving forward with its unoriginal yet still entertaining story even if there wasn't much character development. Once the first couple of acts went by and the movie had to work toward an ending is when it all fell apart. Even if they would have led to a standard ending, any additional attempt on the writers part would have been an improvement over this. They did not allow for any real character development and the two leads didn't have any chemistry, so I was not invested in the ending even if it would have been a decent one. I think the main actors would have been able to pull off a better script, but it is what it is and we were left with this mess.
Kyô Samurai Musashi (2020)
I could have beat the 400 he went up against.
This movie took sloppy and unoriginal to another level. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to watch this. You will probably be more entertained watching the RPG people at the parks. I wish I was exaggerating but I am not. I would like to give them credit for originality or any attempt made to do something special. I was excited to see this movie and waited for almost a year for it to come out on a channel, and I was less let down by the new VHS movie. There are so many other movies to invest your time in. I am telling everyone now, it would be a bad investment to put it into watching this movie.
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
This whole franchise is Spiraling out of control.
As if this movie wasn't bad enough without Chris Rock, they went and added Chris Rock.
One Night in Bangkok (2020)
It felt like it took all night to get through
Spare yourself. Unless you and some buddies want to have an MST 3000 type night, this movie will give you zero entertainment. Look at the writer/director's collection of movies and you'll get an idea of what you're in for. Nothing is salvageable here. Acting, dialogue, cinematography, acting,... acting.
Wendy (2020)
Wendy gonna make another great Peter Pan movie?
Wendy is an amazing concept with some great ideas that couldn't get it self off the ground. There really wasn't any joy in it and the story was under developed. Honestly, this could have been an amazing movie a little more was done with it.
Homeless: The Motel Kids of Orange County (2010)
A trudged we ignore every day.
As just about everyone has said, this is a hard film to watch. There is no narration, just watching these poor children and asking them some simple questions. There are no stats or figures. With the harsh environment Homeless portrays, there is fittingly no happy ending. I knew a high school nurse in a small town in Georgia who also fostered some children for a bit, it it was too difficult. Homeless serves as a visual aid for the stories she always told me.
Ava (2020)
Not worth making.
Think bad soap opera with the occasional poorly choreographed fight scene. I don't know why any of these actors would take this job. From cheesy lines to poor cinematography, nothing about Ava is worth the investment in time to watch.
Chemical Hearts (2020)
First loves.
I wanted to hate Chemical Hearts because the ending wasn't what I wanted, but this is a well done movie that shows us that first loves aren't always pretty. The actors were great and both of the main characters were fantastic. It's a story I wanted to keep going.
The Babysitter: Killer Queen (2020)
Killer Queen
The series went from campy to cheesy, but it was still pretty good.
Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020)
Fun teen watch.
While Vampires vs. the Bronx isn't inspired and doesn't do anything original for the genre, I thought it was fun. They actors were good and the characters were likable. It is a teen movie, so there is limited opportunity for adding any real punch to the ending.
Witness to 9/11: In the Shadows of Ground Zero (2020)
Witness this movie.
I think it may be because people are used to seeing the actual footage of the planes going into the building, and the buildings smoking and people jumping out of windows to escape the blazing heat, as the reason why this film isn't better rated. I thought it was a chilling psychological study of what people were going through on the day and at the time that this was all happening. The curious silence as people tried to take in what they were seeing when the planes first went into the building, all the way through to the end when people were reacting and didn't exactly know who to be mad at, is indescribable. For me, the most powerful moment was right at the end when a man was walking and on top of everything else he said, he added "I hope we don't go to war over this."