lupitag-11852 Reviews

Slasher (2016–2023)

Feels like it was made by fans, for fans.

[9/10 · 10 March 2016]

Even though I enjoyed some aspects of MTV's new "Scream" series (minus the teen drama) and Ryan Murphy's "Scream Queens" on Fox was a guilty pleasure with more misses than hits, Chiller's first original series "Slasher" is everything they should have been. I'm not aware of who the creators are or what their horror pedigree is, but the first two episodes are the most "slasher-esque" out of any of the series previously mentioned. If the producers don't have a home shelf full of classic slasher titles, I'd never know, because "Slasher" feels like it was made by a fan, for fans.

The series, in classic slasher style, is set up to be a "whodunnit" (something its sister shows had in common), in which the audience will presumably discover the killer's identity in the season finale. But what makes the trip more bearable this time out is that, unlike MTV and Fox's offerings, we don't have to sit through a bunch of teenage angst and bad gags in between the mayhem. Whoever made the decision to have this story focus on adults (and I mean the house-owning kind, not the "I'm away at college" variety), the audience thanks you. Oh, the drama is there, but it's lacking the Dawson/Joey element.

As any effective slasher is only as good as its ability to create suspense, have a good amount of gore, and give us a menacing killer, the series pleasantly gets all of these crucial aspects right. We have ACTUAL suspense (P.S. young, pretty women in these things should never go out walking alone). The Executioner, the show's debut villain, is an imposing cross between the hook man in "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and Ghostface (he proves he can run).

Add in a nice machete kill that I was surprised made it past the censors, and there's your gore aspirations being met.

The cinematography is also worthy of mention, as it's even better than "Scream" or "Scream Queens." A Chiller TV series having better production values than a Ryan Murphy production on Fox? I almost didn't believe it myself.

Chiller scores a hit with its first original series, and the first two episodes breeze by leaving you wanting more (instead of checking your watch, something I did frequently during "Scream Queens" interminable two hour premiere). "Slasher" is a love letter to slasher fans, and the next few weeks are going to be quite a ride. Thanks, Chiller.

Cabin Fever (2016)

No, no, no.

[1/10 · 13 February 2016]

While not a shot-for-shot remake (the angles and cinematography are different), this remake uses the same script as the 2002 original with slight alterations. Despite this seemingly pointless exercise, I was prepared to give it a chance and not hate it for failing to aspire to anything original. I'll go on the record saying I -wanted- to like this film, despite some unease after watching the trailer. I'm sad to say it fails to live up to the original in nearly every regard.

What sets this remake apart from it's 2002 predecessor is the lack of any chemistry between the actors. It's not that any one particular actor is singularly bad, it's that none of them feel like they're in the same movie. It literally feels as if they pulled random strangers off the streets and asked them to make-believe they were friends for a weekend. I simply couldn't buy that any of them would take off for a weekend together, much less have known one another for years, as is the case for at least two of the characters. They feel like strangers and it doesn't help that all of them seem to be acting as if they're in completely different films--the disconnect is that apparent. It's upsetting that, despite having many of the same scenes and lines as their original characters, everyone in the cast feels so disconnected from the script that they utterly fail to bring any of their characters to life. They're the ghosts of what we saw in the original film, the acting completely lifeless. It's as if none of them wanted to be there.

Roth's trademark humor is also excised in favor of a few random throwaway jokes, delivered in such a deadpan tone by the actors that each one falls flat on its face. This time around, the director goes for a more serious approach to the material (a mistake, I believe) and attempts to paint the film as a tragedy. Nothing attempts to sell this more than the overly-ambitious music score, which is so epic at times that it feels like it belongs in a big-scale war movie. The composer feels the need to John Williams this thing up at times, which just leaves the viewer scratching their heads at why such a big spectacle of a score is being utilized for a film that largely takes place in a single cabin.

As if to keep from being too familiar, the deaths are altered just enough to qualify as being original, as long as you don't count on being surprised. Practically everything is telegraphed a mile in advance thanks in no small part to the reliance on the original script so that even the prospect of new deaths isn't enough to warrant much excitement.

Perhaps the biggest blunder is the recasting of Deputy Winston as a woman, played by an actress with zero comedic timing (although this doesn't stop her from being handed humorous dialogue). The character is a painful reminder that no one invested in this remake knows how to bring life to their character, as is true with the weed-toting camper (played by Eli Roth in the original). No one would call the acting in Cabin Fever '02 a revelation, but it's as good as gold compared to this.

The entire film is permeated with a depressing lack of passion on or off camera. It's as if no one wanted to be doing this. Roth's film, while certainly underrated by many, at least felt as if it was made by someone who cares. This is a lifeless remake on par with the new Nightmare on Elm Street. Truly a flat, emotionally barren production not even worthy of viewing as a curiosity.

Sinister 2 (2015)

I honestly enjoyed this more than the original.

[8/10 · 23 August 2015]

I'll keep this short since plot descriptions are redundant and attention spans are short these days.

Sinister 2, instead of giving us a straight rehash of the original, changes the perspective from the parents to the kids and introduces a menacing, ghostly group of children that give the Children of the Corn a run for their money in terms of creepiness.

The story sees the return of Deputy So-and-So from the original film, following up on leads and attempting to stop the string of murdered families. In his quest, he comes across our new family, living next to a church where a horrible crime took place (which we do eventually see on 8mm, and it's quite gruesome).

The film worked for me because Deputy So-and-So is an affable, much more sympathetic main character than Ethan Hawke from the original, and the story takes time to develop the entire family. No one feels like a side character or a throwaway.

Amidst all of this are themes of parental abuse and domestic violence, all gelling together to make a richer plot than the original's. There's simply more going on, and contrary to the trailer, the film is not loaded with jump scares. When they occur, which is seldom, the music is more revelatory than "gotcha."

I found the directing to be more nuanced and the added element of the familial drama to be much more involving than anything in the original.

In short, I think this was a more accomplished, classy film. It kept my interest throughout and had a lot more going on than the original.

A rare sequel that actually surpasses its predecessor.

He Knows You're Alone (1980)

"Halloween" clone is well-made but lacks bite.

[3/10 · 14 June 2015]

A nameless killer stalks brides-to-be. That's "He Knows You're Alone" in a nutshell, so enough about the plot because there's really not much to say.

The problem with "He Knows You're Alone" isn't the fact that it's obviously an attempt to cash in on the success of "Halloween" (hell, half the movies made before 1984 attempted the same thing), but the film commits two unforgivable slasher film mistakes: it's bloodless, and it's boring. Two things a slasher film should never be.

If you're making a slasher film and you can't manage to keep your movie taut and suspenseful for 90 minutes what with all the stalking and slashing you have the opportunity to put on screen, you're either trying too hard to be classy or you just shouldn't be making a slasher.

This isn't to say "He Knows You're Alone" doesn't have some good things going for it--the lighting is atmospheric in some night scenes, there are some tense moments where the killer is just out of frame waiting to strike, and the film is more professionally shot than most of its brothers--but all of its merits are bogged down by the interminably slow pacing. The film needed more blood, more kills, and more suspense overall to compete with even "Halloween", a slow burn itself which still manages to be ten times as entertaining.

If you're a fan of 80s slashers, of course you'll still have to see it. If you're a casual horror fan, the most horrifying thing about the movie will probably the amount of time you wasted watching it.

Jurassic World (2015)

Best since the original with some great scenes.

[8/10 · 12 June 2015]

Granted, it isn't that hard to top the previous two installments in this franchise, but Jurassic World is the closest thing to experiencing the cinematic thrill of the original that we're most likely ever going to get. The formula is practically summer audience fool-proof: show us a fully-functioning dinosaur theme park John Hammond envisioned in the original film, throw in a dangerous new hybrid created to be the new star attraction, set star attraction loose on unsuspecting park, and let the fun begin. Simple setup, great execution.

What made the original so great to me was the sense of awe we felt at seeing dinosaurs depicted so realistically on screen coupled with the film's fantastic action set pieces. This is 2015, so clearly the park's native attractions are CGI and seeing a photo-realistic dinosaur on screen lost its "wow" factor some time ago, but what this film does recreate well are the fantastic set pieces reminiscent of classic scenes from the original such as the Jeep attack. You'll be whooping with delight during a certain sequence involving a gyrosphere ride, and let's just say the park's other patrons will NOT be having a good day. It all sets the scene for massive panic on a grand scale, which is something the original could never accomplish with its characters fighting for survival in a non-functioning theme park. Yes, this time around, we see many a tourist in danger (a certain scene involving pterodactyls ranks as a highlight of the movie), and there is no shortage of action once things get rolling.

Those worried they'll stepping into a Michael Bay-esque action-a-thon need not fret: there's plenty of establishment of the primary characters and a slow (for this day and age) buildup to the action which really kicks in once the new hybrid decides she wants to finally see what's outside of her paddock...

The characters are all likable and we have the requisite human villains to even it out some (let's just say you'll be rooting for the dinosaurs in some scenes) and the new hybrid is an imposing and credible new dinosaur villain that is worthy of taking the reigns from the T-Rex and the Raptors from previous films.

What's more, the final 15 minutes are the best of any film in the franchise thus far--I was thoroughly impressed with the scope and scale of the finale and easily consider it the highlight of the movie, by far. You will be in action/adventure heaven just witnessing it.

Dinosaurs attacking tourists, great action set pieces like the original, humor, characters just likable enough to root for, and a terrific finale: what more could you want from a summer blockbuster? Go see Jurassic World and enjoy yourself. Yes, it's not the answer to life as we know it, and there might not be much beneath the surface, but the movie is pure spectacle and sometimes that's all we need.