Change Your Image
![](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjQ4MTY5NzU2M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDc5NTgwMTI@._V1_SY100_SX100_.jpg)
bluebullet
Reviews
Skeleton Man (2004)
Best horror/comedy
Ill be honest. I bought this movie because it was part of a 4 Films Horror Collector's Set for $5 at Walmart. I got past the intro to the movie and realized why I only paid $1.25 for it. This movie is so bad its hilarious! I mean really, what is not to love about a poorly dressed skeleton man running along, shooting his bow and arrows at Helicopters and causing them to crash and explode. This movie has a horrible plot. I fast forwarded past all the boring parts and got to the killings.
Reasons the movie is great: 1. Skeleton Man has an arsenal of weapons at his disposal to include: Throwing knives, axes, a long sword, bow and arrow and a spear. Skeleton Man is so great that he can conjure these weapons magically. Imagine him walking towards with nothing in his hands and then BOOM an axe.
2. Skeleton Man can divert all bullets by getting on his horse and doing circles. In the movie the special forces team have their guns with unlimited ammo and try to shoot him, but in the end the all miss because Skeleton Man deflected all of them.
3. He rides a horse. Not just ANY horse. A brown majestic horse that looked like it was stolen from a farm. Its awesome because he is trying to give demons and their kind a better reputation. Black horses show that they have no taste but a brown horse really says something about that demon's character.
4. If Skeleton Man wants something that your standing in front of, he will punch a hole in your stomach, grab the object in question, and pull it through you. Sheer awesomeness.
5. Skeleton Man can bring a helicopter down to its knees just by shooting a piece of wood at it. Professional! What other demon do you know of that can take down a copter with a twig? NONE I SAY! This is a movie is perfect for stoners and people who like to laugh at retarded movies.
6/10 Because its just so damn funny.
Hitman (2007)
Another horrible adaption
Being a fan of the Hit-man gaming franchise, I was looking forward to the movie. When I first saw the trailer, I screamed it joy in the theater. After I saw the movie I walked out of the theater dumbfounded. They ruined yet another movie.
**This does contain spoilers** There are countless things that are wrong with this film. It was obvious that the person who wrote the movie, had no idea what the games were about. It seems as if he played it for 30 min. then tried to write a movie about it.
Problem 1 : The detective in the film who is chasing 47, did a poor job of it might I add, seems to know a lot about 47 but whenever he asked about his reasoning he says, "My boy never misses" or "This is how he is." It would have been better to have flash back to previous missions that 47 had committed that would tell the audience how 47 works. Also the detective should have died from the very beginning. 47 doesn't leave witnesses and it showed that he had a weakness. 47 has a weakness? Problem 2 : The women. There should have been no women in this film what so ever. To suggest that 47 would even have relations or feelings for a target is laughable. I repeat Laughable! I would have understood if it was just a charade and he was planning on killing her in the end... but that didn't happen. The movie ended up focusing around her and their love rather the murder and violence at hand. Sure there was some murder scenes, which were actually pretty good, but they didn't receive the attention they desperately needed.
Problem 3 : I am glad that he used his famous silver ballers but there was no fiber wire. For the Hit-man enthusiast the fiber wire is your best friend. It should have been used at least once but it never was. Instead , our wonderful fiber wire was replaced by a tie.
Problem 4 : Swords. Where the hell did this writer get the idea for swords? In what point did 47 or any other assassin in the franchise use a sword? Problem 5 : The script was poorly made. I often found myself in the theater yawning and dying for some violent death scenes. The thing that made me most upset about this movie, was the nudity. There didn't have to be any nudity in this movie what so ever! This movie is about violence, death, and destruction. Not tits, sex, women! I was appalled mostly because it was placed there for the sole reason of "Oh we have to put tits in this movie so that people will like it!"
This movie will disappoint people especially the hard core video game fans. I do not recommend it for anybody. The only good thing out of this movie was the few violent hits that 47 committed but other than that, its stupid.