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thebrownwarrior12345
Reviews
El tesoro de la diosa blanca (1983)
I only liked 20% of this movie
Well I think we're all in agreement this movie is pretty bad. The acting was terrible, the storyline was terrible, and script was garbage.
First of all, this plane crashes in the middle of some tribe or something and the people inside (a god-father and beautiful god-daughter) are treated as gods? Really? Then, the dude somehow is able to keep his dignity and his clothes, while the girl fully adjusts to this tribal lifestyle, stripping down and baring her breasts, showing no shame in front of the tribesmen or her godfather.
Then she learns what sex is by watching white people in the act? How can a girl who has been so generous as to show her ample breasts not know about sex? Do these tribesmen not reproduce? So later white people find her. What is curious is that neither she nor the group of civilized white people (including her very own uncle) are not at all disturbed at seeing a naked white girl. In fact, her indecency isn't even mentioned.
So at the end of the movie, a native (naked) witch woman admits that she only treated the god-father and god-daughter as gods so she could destroy them? What?? All in all, this movie sucked. The 20% of the movie I'm referencing in the title are the parts the naked girl is in (I think she's underage actually). This review should have really gotten 2 stars, but I added a few just because of her body.
Believe it or not, though, this actress actually did many nude scenes before and after this movie. Strange right? It seems this pretty little actress loves to be looked at. But who's complaining?
Girls Gone Dead (2012)
An abomination to Christianity, and lots of boobs
As my title states, this movie is an abomination to Christianity. Don't believe anything it says about Christianity. God does not damn adulterers; He forgives them.
Aside from the message of the movie, the movie itself is terrible. None of the people in it can act, most of all the main character (but they didn't have much of a script to work with). With the exception of the main character, all the girls are shown topless at least once. Come to think of it, the acting didn't seem to be a priority to the producers; they just wanted hot girls that were willing to show their breasts.
The end is the worst part. There's all kinds of unexpected twists and turns that really don't make sense.
Honestly, was this really supposed to be a horror movie? Because the only parts where my heart raced was when the girls got naked.
Descendants (2015)
Kid actors fail to grasp the essence of their villainous parents
This movie, like the rest of the Disney Channel movies, is horrible. What is Disney trying to teach our youth? To be evil? To be wicked? The movie has no character development, and the comedy is hardly funny. And I'm tired of hearing "bippity boppity boo" over and over again. Nobody in my house laughed or "rocked out" to the build-up song at the beginning. Disney is really scraping the bottom of the barrel on this one. Honestly, how many more classic Disney characters need to be squeezed into the movie? And if you must pick all these characters, leave out the stupid ones and put in the good ones like Gaston from Beauty and the Beast or Shan Yu from Mulan. A huge disappointment. Trust me, you'll lose interest within the first fifteen minutes.
Nowhere Safe (2014)
Cute but unrealistic
This movie was so unrealistic, it was hard to watch. This movie assumes that high school students are innocent little angels, having no idea what the Colosseum is and actually doing their homework (sure, that happens). The movie likes to play the "pronoun game" with us at the beginning, using pronouns like "they" and "them" to hide the background of the story from the story from the audience, even though it is already obvious what the story's about. Also, the "mean" comments posted on this fake Facebook page were hardly mean at all. Sure, they were a little hurtful, but a lot of them were pretty funny. The message of this movie was lost in its unreal inconsistencies. To be honest, it would have been more exciting to see a suicide that having the student body go from hating the girl to falling in love with her in a matter of seconds.
Abby in the Summer (2014)
More Like Breaking the Rules
First, this movie is way too short and ends too abruptly. Shouldn't all movies follow the "hour and a half" rule of thumb? Not this movie.
Second, the actors hardly seemed engaged. As a matter of fact, Robin Thick, certainly not an actor, upstaged all these "Golden Globe Nominated" professional actors.
Third, there are a few things I still don't understand. What was the purpose of including the friend, mother, and repair man? Why did Abby have to be a chef? Where was the real conflict? Although it was fun to watch, why did Jaime Pressly get naked?
Honestly, I would rather cut off my fingers like Abby than watch this movie again.
MidRange (2013)
Too Short For the Big Leagues
This movie is pretty unrealistic. I mean, how would a five foot guy ever be considered to be drafted for NBA, much less college ball? The acting was pretty bad and the casting was not terrific. The story's pretty decent, though. But overall, the inspirational message this film was trying to shoot for was completely pointless, given the mediocre script and dull story line. How many times do these guys have to say "bro" and "man" to show they're cool? How many people turn to Jesus just after one time at Church? How can a man that has lived life dismissing any religion, become a Christian overnight? How can a woman that has been "eating like a bird" for years be so overweight? As a movie, MidRange does not even come close to "MidStandards."