jeepmjw-955-821483 Reviews

The Duke of Burgundy (2014)

Absolute WASTE of time

[1/10 · 19 December 2015]

This movie tries to be so many things, and fails at all, the one thing it excels at is being a complete waste of time.

The people writing good reviews for this film are either somehow affiliated with it, or truly have no idea what a decent movie is.

The entire movie is based on little scripts the two women rehearse, and there is maybe three of them, and then it's a simple matter of 'rinse and repeat'.

I have NO IDEA why the director thought that a woman peeing into another woman's mouth would be in any way appealing to anyone, apart of course for those out there that are extremely kinky, of course you don't see this, thank god for that, but you do hear it.

As I mentioned the movie just repeats itself over and over again until it ends, it's just utter crap, and there are moments in the film where there is insanely annoying sounds with obscure images in the background, it's like the director/editors had completely run out of ideas and put these bits in to simply make the movie longer, of course they would have been doing us all a favor had they simply left them out, or better still, never made the movie in the first place.

ABSOLUTE GARBAGE!.

Rise (IX) (2014)

Fairly compelling and worth a look.

[5/10 · 6 February 2015]

I went into this movie pretty much as I do with all the movies I view, and that is knowing nothing about them, I do this so as not to have any preconceived ideas of what to expect, I find this the best method for viewing as I am not at all influenced by other peoples opinions.

Initially I didn't think I would last the entire movie, the actors were not of a high caliber, with the exception of Martin Sacks, and to be honest I didn't recognize him at first, but I immediately wanted to watch the entire movie once his presence was made, it took me a little while before I realized who he was, it was he, or rather his character that I was interested in and not that of the movies focus, he truly is a great actor that has somehow managed to go unnoticed by the big wigs.

Anyway on with the movie, as mentioned, all the actors with the exception of Sacks are well and truly out of their league in a feature film and in my opinion would be more suited to soaps.

The direction seems hurried and definitely does not make a convincing case when it come to character building, there are affinities built on seemingly very little to nothing, rushing this vital part of any movie is wrong, but even this cannot detract you from the character Jimmy Cove (Sacks).

The poor acting is not restricted to the main character (Nathan Wilson) but pretty much every single actor in this movie. To make matters worse the court scenes are just dreadful, not a lick like real life, very hashed and uninvolved, and that pretty much sums it up for this movie, hashed and uninvolved, but I must mention that I did watch the movie until the end credits, I wanted to see if Jimmy and Will got to meet up outside of the prison walls...I wont mention if they did or not, but regardless of how the movie was put together, there is a feeling of friendship and sincerity between these two characters.

In summary, I felt this could have been a great movie, had it had a decent director and decent actors I feel it could have made a far more compelling movie.

Martin Sacks carried this movie and if not for him, it would in no way be worth viewing.

Great work Martin.

5/10 and four of those stars go to Martin.

Addicted (I) (2014)

Painful

[1/10 · 30 January 2015]

Wow where to begin..everything about this movie is horrible, I suffered for 40 minutes through this drivel in the hopes the lead actress (Sharon Leal) would do some of her old 'Boston Public' magic and make the film worth watching, however all she did was drag an already drowning film under.

From the outset the film looks feels and sounds like a daytime soap opera, the acting is so bad I felt embarrassed for the actors. I Don't know if the producers of this crap live in the real world, but in my version psychologists do not have sessions that run all day and into the wee hours of the night....what the hell?, and since when do supposed 'successful artists' drive beat up old 68 Chev's with the paint literally peeling off?....Believe me there is NOTHING in this movie worth taking seriously.

What a shame Sharon Leal couldn't find something to actually bring her back into the light, instead of having the lights turned off and the door slammed shut.

Terrible, just terrible.

Dark Space (2013)

Should have been called 'Stereotypical Cliché'

[1/10 · 30 August 2014]

I'm not going to mention the story as it's thin and very amateurish, I wont really mention anything other then the utter stupidity of it....oops there's the spoiler :) From the opening scene I was cringing, the acting was deplorable and the dialogue was an EPIC FAIL!, it was filled with dialogue of why the blonde guy (Keith Reay) shouldn't be allowed to "fly" a rented spaceship, all sorts of flying infringements etc (from a rental company no less) yet no one "flies" these craft they are fully automated, so why would ANYONE'S prior history (rented or not) come into play?.

The movie is like this all the way through, there is no cohesion, nothing gels it's just one BIG mistake after another, Keith Reay from the very beginning all I wanted to do was reach into the screen and punch him in the face just for being born, what an annoying actor he is, and no he wasn't acting his annoyance it's simply his presence.

The movie is filled with gaffs like the STUPID analogue switches on a console in a ship that wouldn't/shouldn't exist in a bloody 'rented craft', I mean seriously if you had a fully automated ship that was rented it's like that for a reason, you would not be able to override anything, let alone place a (apparently very easy to use)console for everyone to just play with...DUMB!.

Of course the craft crashes on an alien planet and 'Flower' has a compound fracture of her tibia, well ever wondered if you can walk on a compound fracture of your tibia?...well by all accounts you can, not only that she manages to run on it also....DUMB! Then while wandering out in the woods they just happen upon a 'stick man' Ala 'Blair Witch Project', it had no rhyme or reason being there it just was. DUMB! Then we have the stupid 'storm troopers' and to coin another reviewers term, they looked like they were wearing the armor from Halo, not only that the guns were frighteningly similar also, and these guns have nice big scopes on them...are the scopes being used?....no of course not, no wonder 100 'storm troopers' couldn't hit these annoying so called bloody actors, I was praying they would so the pain would stop :) DUMB! Then we have the poindexter nerd who CANNOT act to save his life, with his 'tool' he uses to repair the ships 'software' and changes 'hardware'...whatever right?, but the tool he uses looks like a damn icing gun my mother used to use to ice cakes...for crying out loud, absolutely NO IMAGINATION.....guys a hint, there's plenty of comic books around, get some hints there, I'm sure you own them all :) Now please remember this 'ship' is a rental, so why would it come equipped with an 'icing gun' and a bloody welder to repair the ship??, this clearly wasn't an Hertz rental was it?. :) DUMB! There are scenes right through this movie that SCREAM BULLSH!T, such as the scene where a 'storm trooper' checks a pulse with thick gloves on, I mean come on people, why are we treated like D!CKHEADS by these film makers, do they really think we are this DUMB?.

Well I'm very glad to disappoint them, they SUCK and so does this so called movie.

Total CRAP!.

Ready 2 Die (2014)

Horrible just bloody horrific

[1/10 · 14 May 2014]

I ticked the "spoiler" box simply because saying this movie is a disgrace to any movie of any genre is giving the entire movie away.

The only reason I watched this flick was because I used to own a 67 Cougar and given the advertising is all about the car I watched assuming the car played the main role....for all intents and purposes it would have been more interesting if the movie focused on a dead still 1967 Cougar for 80 minutes and went no further then that other then to roll the end credits.

All I can say about positive reviews on this movie is the people who wrote positive reviews must have had something to do with the movie and wrote favorable reviews to try and increase its sales / distribution.

However all they have done is increase an audience that will tell it like it is, and that is BLOODY HORRIFIC.

The script is dire, the actors (if you can call them that) are dire, the makeup is laughable, the drawn on tattoos are horrible, the wounds that are literally peeling off are a joke, this movie has NOTHING going for it, the supposed car chase is clearly done at the speed limit and is nothing but a boring laughable introduction to a movie that goes no further then the beginning as it is the same all the way through....laughable.

I would usually say something like 'if you don't believe me have a look for yourself' but I will beg you to please DON"T LOOK, this movie is not worth the $10.00 budget it was shot with, in fact I'm pretty sure they would have had change from that $10.00.

Please I beg you, don't watch this movie, not now not ever, a total waste of 80 minutes of my life that I wish I could have back.

I would have given this movie a zero but IMDb wont allow it so it gets one star too many, and I'm sure others who were silly enough to go through the torture of watching this TOTAL CRAP would agree with me.

WOEFUL! 1/10

Last Passenger (2013)

Better then Chinese water torture...maybe?

[1/10 · 2 May 2014]

Painful would be the best way to describe this movie, I cannot understand why a movie like this would be released in the wake of 'The Taking of Pelham 123', it is just total crap.

There have been many movies in regards to out of control trains, but with what seems like a budget of $1.50 this was still a waste of money.

Truly anyone who has seen The Taking of Pelham 123 would not write a favorable review for this film, and to be totally honest Denzel Washington's incarnation of a train movie wasn't brilliant either, that being said I could at least sit through it a second time, but not for this (Last Passenger) rubbish.

You would think with all of the train movies that have been done over the years the producers of this movie would at the very least try to equal their rivals, however it seems they just want their rivals to look good.

The entire movie looks and feels like a very bad 1960's incarnation of a train movie, the music is like something out of a Hitchcock thriller.

The only good thing about this movie was the end credits.

If you see this movie advertised somewhere, RUN!.

Bloody dismal. 1/10

Favor (2013)

Excellent but has its flaws.

[8/10 · 29 April 2014]

I went into this movie knowing nothing at all about it, so perhaps that's one of the reasons I scored it so highly. Sometimes it's great to just watch a movie for the sake of watching it rather then go in expecting something only to be disappointed.

The story is not new, but the way it's delivered is quite good and not what I expected at all.

I have never heard of any of the actors in this piece and given their sometimes wooden acting and sheer (seemingly) lack of talent helps deliver this movie in a fashion I'm certainly not familiar with. I am hoping that the actors were directed in such a fashion as to seem wooden and inexperienced to add to the impact they have on the audience.

There are some rather ridiculous moments of 'special effects' but I'm not going to detract too much from the movie for what seem like 'after thoughts'. There are a couple of bad editing points, I can't fathom why they needed two Toyota Camry's, but clearly there is more then one and in a couple of scenes there is some annoying lens reflection, but I guess most wont notice anyway. Why do I bring these items up???, well I am of the opinion that this movie was a fluke, however I'm not totally convinced, but it seems to me that if you take an old script use unknown actors, use poor visual effects combined with poor camera work and still have a winning combination it's either a fluke or bloody good direction. I'm not knowledgeable enough on the director nor the actors to offer an 'informed opinion', but let's hope the next movie from Paul Osborne shows me that it was great work from him that pleased me so much about this movie.

Overall I was glued to this movie for the simple fact that the actors had me wondering if they could deliver the goods, they delivered in spades as did the director, as mentioned the script is by no means new, but it has some interesting twists and turns that carry the movie and keep you guessing, to turn a old script into something that is interesting and is not 'too' predictable is an achievement in itself.

I thoroughly enjoyed this.

8/10.

Summerhood (2008)

Great family movie, very enjoyable.

[8/10 · 15 April 2014]

Someone wrote a review stating it's about four best friends that hate each other, this simply isn't the case and I think this person has forgotten their childhood.

This movie was very well written and even better directed.

The actors (especially the kids)did a wonderful job of recreating that feeling you only get as a child.

Kids are quite literally 'innocence personified' and this movie captures that very well, I recall my childhood and I regret trying to grow up too fast. I watched this movie and it took me right back to the first time I held a girls hand, my first kiss etc, and learning the terminology of (mostly cruel)sayings that eventually help us grow.

I'm not a child of the 80's rather a child of the 70's but there is still enough child left in me to grab this movie with both hands and become completely involved with it and remember all those years ago when the seed of things that make us who we are today was planted.

Summer camp when I was a kid was not overseen by older kids (our peers) if you will, and I think this movie touched on that whole generation gap feeling you have when you're little and someone only five years older seems old and wise, these 'watchers' were not discouraging these kids to do what they wanted, rather they advised the kids and that's how it was for me, the ever so 'older and wiser' offering me advice that was of course for the most part naive and or made up.

I'm not going to ruin this movie for others by including a spoiler, this is a movie to sit with your wife and kids, and your parents and watch their faces twinge as they too recall those little awkward moments.

I truly loved this movie and although I watched this on my own, you can make book I will watch it again with my now adult children to see their reactions.

Musical score is brilliant as is the narration by John Cusack, he has a great voice for this movies narration.

There are a couple of reasons I didn't score a 10 on this film, but I'm sure those who view will know why I didn't go the extra couple of yards.

All in all a great movie that for me only brought back fond memories of my misspent youth. Loved it. 8/10

Red Sky (I) (2014)

Get out while you can.

[2/10 · 23 March 2014]

I'm sorry, but someone submitted a review for this movie from the cover description on the box and had not even seen the film?.

This is not so much the reviewers issue as that of IMDb, no one can perceive a movie from a cover description. For that review to be left up only cements what most people already perceive about IMDb and that is the star rating doesn't mean a thing because the reviews are not regulated.

The person who submitted the review should be removed as they are contributing NOTHING.

On with my review, this is my first, but rest assured I have at least seen the movie in question.

From the outset I had low expectations and I didn't have to wait long to be disappointed, the actors for the most part cannot act and as a result over act to compensate for their lack of skills.

The command that starts the saga was clearly given by someone with a different voice, but over radio and in flight I guess that can be overlooked, however the proceeding court case cannot be, I understand that for the movie to get off the ground (pardon the pun) one must somewhat breeze over certain things, but the way in which the court verdict is conducted is terrible, there's just no way in real life these pilots would have lost their wings in the manner depicted in this movie.

The actors in some scenes are wooden and for the most part seem like they are reading from the script and are so distracted by the reading they forget to act.

Trying to create memorable lines that would eventually become real life quotes is another annoying factor with this movie, such as ""it's like Toy's R us, you break it you buy it", and yet another quote "It's Dejavu all over again" forgive me but isn't that the very meaning of Dejavu?. I think about as much imagination went into the entire script as what went into those lines.....not much.

CGI is not brilliant, the night scenes in what looks like a Junkers JU-52 and later an Antonov AN-2 are at best mediocre. Moreover the CGI explosions and some of the pilot scenes are of 1960's quality, just horrible.

Most everything about this movie is shallow, including the jail scene with the Russian woman (Mariya Guzeeva) who is cooperating with the U.S, the close ups of her ass and eventually even a camel toe are not required and just digs a larger hole to bury this film in.

The movie is riddled with mistakes, for instance, a reference to the AN-2 while the engine is smoking the comment is made about a "cracked pan" these engines use a dry sump, regardless a engine without oil wont smoke, rather it will seize, the AK-47's referenced are actually Type 52's (Chinese copies). Bullets that hit 'glass' aircraft canopies are clearly incorrect as aircraft do not use glass for canopies, they use perspex.

I couldn't help but laugh when a fighter pilot (Mario Van Peebles) is using a SU-27's machine gun he shows a recoil affect even thought the guns are controlled remotely.

Bill Pullman was poorly cast in this movie, he seems to be constantly grinning or smirking, almost (to me at least) at the script itself. Rachael Leigh Cook needs to have her eyes fixed if she is to be taken seriously as they are a distraction to what seems to be an otherwise fairly good actress, Cam Gigandet needs to stop trying to be the next Brad Pitt. Mario Van Peebles has yet another notch in his belt, sadly none of his notches reflect good movies or acting, I fail to see the attraction.

In conclusion Red Sky is a misery to watch, both painful and rather smelly. It's one of those movies where you ask yourself 'should I turn it off now?' when your only five minutes into it.

Any reference to Top Gun should only be done so for benchmark reasons and nothing more, sadly this movie does no justice to the 'jet fighter' movie genre.

I only completed watching the movie to write this review, hopefully I can save others from the pain I endured. 2/10