picturetaker Reviews

Geek War (2010)

Geek War should be titled something different.

[1/10 · 15 May 2022]

This was the most over the top movie I have ever seen and that says a lot as I basically have the App Tubi on all the time playing countless bad movies and such. I love bad movies. This movie had some of the strangest acting I think I have ever seen. But it wasn't a move that so bad its good type like Samurai Cop more like a "Oh wow what is with these people/actors!?!" type movie.

So its called Geek War. Not sure how there wasn't much of any sort of war, fighting or anything that would indicate a war between some geeks. It has some rivalry between two geeks for a girl who bought a tape they both wanted. One wants to steal the tape and the other just falls in love with her until the other geek messes it up for him. In the end, the nicer geek gets the girl. They watch the tape and... well... not worth the $1500 dollars the girl bought it for at the comic book shop.

I give it 1 star because it was really cringey especially the dialogue and acting. Never mind it was shot on a bad camcorder.

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (2020)

Loved the first one. This one wasn't even close to the original.

[1/10 · 11 November 2020]

I absolutely loved the original Borat. Must've saw it a hundred times in the 00's and quoted it with friends. It was funny and it was real satire. Where as this new Borat? Seems totally fake.

How so? The most real scene is when he is instantly recognized by everyone on the street. That just shows how doomed this movie was from the beginning. From the Red Neck scene that plays out by what I can only assume were actors. To how few people Borat is able to interact with throughout this movie. Seriously is not even remotely close to the original! If there were a deleted scenes to this movie, I can only imagine how many times he was found out.

The worst part of this movie wasn't the fact it actually felt fake though. It was how anti Republican it was. It was the main theme of this entire movie and was brutally obvious. While the original Borat did mix some anti George Bush politics into it, it was mostly a satire and about punking honest Americans with a strange foreign man and his accent. This? It wreaks of particionship! It was way too much and obvious. From the Mike Pence rally where he shows up as a clansman to the tricking of Rudy Giuliani into an interview and then Borats "daughter" untucks his shirt and they manipulate it to look like he is doing something wrong with a "15 year old girl" who is actually 24! To quote Joe Biden "Common man!" It was relentless and made the movie boring. Simply put there was way too much political nonsense added to this movie.

So if you enjoy watching Democrat Propaganda disguised as comedy? This movie is for you. If you don't because either you're a Republican OR you don't care whatsoever about USA politics. This movie is extremely boring with a few chuckles here and there but ultimately not very good. Skip it and watch the original. Its still funny.

I give this a 1 star simply because this won't age well and the rewatchability is non-existent. Unlike the original.

Everything Sucks! (2018)

Nostalgia hits ROCK BOTTOM! Enough please!

[1/10 · 27 February 2018]

Everything Sucks is a strange thing but "Stranger Things of the 90's" it is not. The only similarity is they're both made by Netflix. Everything Sucks is basically if someone knocked off Stranger Things made it in the 90's and filled it with a bunch of uncharasmatic kids and adults who can't act, filmed it in what can only be described as film (perhaps a VHS camcorder?) and then has no real plot except nostalgic 90's references and there you have it! You have a show called "Everything Sucks". Which honestly sucks!

I honestly don't even know how to review this show without sounding negative and comparing it to Stranger Things because I believe that's what the creators of this show are trying replicate here and it's such a big fail! The first time I tried watching it I made it to the beginning show credits and said "This is stupid" and pressed stop. I came back a few days later and made it all the way to the end of the first episode. They're about 23 mins long by the way. It was full of 90s pop references and hit songs and that was about it. Literally! It was just some literal nerdy kids and a few others talking about pop culture the whole time episode after episode!

Whatever I have to say about this show doesn't matter. You'll likely watch it but then you may be like me and go "Yup this is not Stranger Things of the 90's. It really does suck". So my only advice if you've not seen Everything Sucks is don't! Just watch Stranger Things again and don't help this horrible show by watching it because this nostalgic nonsense needs to end. Nostalgia hits rock bottom!

Star Trek Beyond (2016)

Star Trek Beyond a tale of lost opportunity and major convenience.

[7/10 · 25 March 2017]

While visually striking and quite interesting it lacks what the previous two Star Trek's had. Mainly because of plot oversights and just plain convenient timing or occurrences. That one can't help but find it a little bit annoying.

While I love Star Trek. I'm not crazy about this one. And here is why. It's forgettable. And while I do praise it for trying to be original. It just lack something that makes me not want to ever watch it again. I saw it in the theatre and I also watched it on Netflix. And it really is a good movie just not the best.

Like one of the main plots of the movie is this guy named Krall. Now Krall is the former captain of the USS Franklin and his name was Baltazar Edison. Now instead of having him have a part as a human they have the actor playing an alien throughout the whole movie. We don't discover this until near the end when Uhura discovers a video with him on it for half a second while they're looking for him. And really they should have had at least a 15-minute opening segment about the USS Franklin and its crew and what went on instead of this reveal later on that there's an old TV show Enterprise type Starship crashed on the planet. They addressed it a bit with some Captains Logs but the crashing of the ship and the discovery of the mining colony would have been great! Such a lost opportunity.

It goes on and on and on and there's so many different parts to this movie that just don't make a lot of sense. It would have made an excellent TV episode but as a feature film it's just kind of like marathon of convenience that stops you into thinking about its lost opportunity with actor Idris Elba who played Krall/Capt.Edison. For that reason I gave this movie a 7 out of 10.

Check my other reviews out if you liked this review.

It Follows (2014)

IT... Its okay and quite scary

[6/10 · 23 March 2017]

Scary in a way that I haven't seen since the first "Ring" movie. Is it really scary? Well obviously not because we're desensitized at this point in society so nothing really scares us these days. But honestly this movie captures the scariest nightmare you just might ever have.

I personally liked "It Follows" mainly because its low budget but it delivers a chilling creepy movie that makes me never want to go to Detroit because there are scary following sex ghosts there. Haha. So is it brilliant? Nah not really but it does keep you on the edge of the seat. It's a good example of when horror is done right and doesn't depend on jump scares to scare you.

Best of all. What I liked about this movie is it has no moment where they research the haunting and get to the bottom of it like near every supernatural horror usually does. You know what I mean, they Google search and then take some trip to some person in some obscure place who knows all the answers. Nope! None of that. No priests, witch doctor's, mediums or supernatural experts! The closest we get to this "research moment" is the group of friends track down the guy who gave the girl the haunting curse. And he knows basically nothing. So this mystery just adds to the movie because it makes it more realistic not knowing.

I recommend only if you truly like original horror movies that are not filled with slashing, gore and blood everywhere because there is none and I mean none of that. This isn't a "Saw" movie.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

ID4-2 Nitpicks and Observations

[1/10 · 20 March 2017]

Watched this ID4-2 tonight. It was so horrible I took notes to publish on IMDb and other places. Here are my nitpicks and observations.

They act so casual in everything they do. From Liam Hemsworth complaining about moving a huge space weapon like its an every day thing to Jeff Goldbloom in Africa just walking around not noticing a giant hole in the ground. When the aliens show up there is no stress or worry in anyone of note voices, emotions and appearance. Its just business as usual for Lady President and company. Like seriously everyone is too casual throughout the entire movie!

For political reasons the President was made an empowering woman in a movie prior to the USA election with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. This was confirmed by the writers.

The technology was integrated far too quickly in all applications except personal computers. The Laptops while current in our 2016 are obsolete with the Alien technology used in all other applications. Or perhaps Dell just didn't try to acquire any interface?

How did we reverse engineer their technology so quickly anyways? It likely would be based on elements and science we'd have no understanding of and just because we have it doesn't mean we can use it.

The Alien spaceship flies way way too close to the moon. Like practically scrapes it. This of course has no impact on its orbit.

There is basically world peace however the United States seems to control the orbital weapon satellites? And China seems to an invited partner. And the rest of the world just seems OK with this?

The alien ship is so big with a diameter of 3000 miles and 20x bigger than the 1996 ships. That the weight would likely weigh as much as the moon. Even if the moon had a controlled landing on Earth. The weight would be enough to destroy the orbit and rotation of the earth and it being well past the height of the atmosphere it would likely destroy the atmosphere also. The ship is way too big.

A 1980's Caprice Classic Station Wagons as great as they were had a muffler that was about 6" from the pavement. It couldn't drive for long under at least a foot of water as we see the kids driving through a Tsunami soaked area.

The attack on the alien ship just seemed weak and boring.

The Aliens apparently breach a bunker know as Cheyenne Mountain. This a deep level bunker that is holding the president deep underground. The aliens walk in as if its on the ground. No battle. No video battle. Just one moment they land the next the president says "there will be no peace" as the Aliens enter. They all die. How? Self destruct? Aliens? We just don't know.

It was awesome to see the Aliens on their ship however none of their technology should be any different than it was 20 years earlier in 1996 however it seems as if they have upgraded also. This makes no sense as their civilization is probably a million years old.

At one point they steal some Alien fighters. My question is how as they were very clearly taken over by the control tower in the original movie yet now they can not only steal them but also dog fight in them like they've flown in them before. After they escape they fly casually as if there is no more threat. Except clearly the big ship has weapons that could blow them out of the sky.

The Queen Alien surviving a close detonation of multiple fusion detonation because she has her own shield is just plain convenient. Too convenient. Her having a huge gun is even more so convenient.

The queen has the ability to take control of the fighter ships. Yet when the two hijacked alien fighter ships are attacking her she doesn't crash those ones to the ground. Later the queen takes over all the fighter ships including the ones hijacked to make a protective swarm. They are then able to turn on the Thrusters to some how escape her control. Then they fly back down and start shooting her and she doesn't have the swarm to protect her?

At the end the massive Alien ship takes off. With out a Queen? We know that the soldier aliens don't die when she dies as they fought them for 10 years in Africa after the 1996 one was destroyed. But they stop drilling and working when she dies? If they have the ability to take off in this Alien ship then why do they also not have the ability to attack Earth and seek vengeance? Why not self destruct?

The ending is worthy of an original Star Trek episode where they all stand around and laugh. Instead it ends with a clear assumption that there will be a sequel and that they will bring the fight to them. Its possible that the ending is the worst part of it. It quickly ends instead of a few minutes more say 1 year later where we see the devastation of the attack. Learn a death toll. Basically a mention of whatever happened during the entire movie.

Thats it. I am sure I missed some more things as I wrote these nitpicks and observations. But I think this is enough. Check out my other reviews.

Insomnia (2002)

Amazingly good movie that will stand the test of time!

[9/10 · 20 February 2017]

Perhaps my favourite Alaskan movie, maybe even my favourite Al Pacino movie and surely guaranteed one of Robin Williams best non comedic roles. INSOMNIA! A movie directed by Christopher Nolan is a movie about a mysterious murder that in a remote town in Alaska lacks the resources in law enforcement to solve it so two detectives from Los Angelas are flown in to help solve it. Yeah so its a pretty basic who done it type movie besides the whole Alaska thing.

But what I love about this movie is the realism that Christopher Nolan is famous for. Even before he was known for Batman his movies had that amazing look Nolan is famous for.  The cinematography is incredible. Its like a travel brochure for Alaska! Its simply amazing. The story is great. It leaves you in suspense wondering whats going on but in a good way. And not to spoil anything but the reason its called INSOMNIA is its filmed in the part of summer where the sun never sets (sort of the same as the movie 30 days of night). It just adds to the films allure.

So if you like great crime movies in the "Who done it" genre and you haven't seen this flick? Where have you been!?! Its time to track this movie down and watch it. You will be in awe. Especially if you're a fan of Christopher Nolan's other work or like the actors Al Pacino, Hilary Swank or Robin Williams.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

Seeing it in 2017... Uh what was this!?!

[3/10 · 21 January 2017]

This review absolutely contains some spoilers.

I remember seeing this movie when it came out in the theatre. It was a long awaited movie that me and my brother had been waiting for since we saw the first one in 1993. Ah the 1990's movies, some were good and some were awful bad and they were still trying to perfect the blockbuster back then. Some wins like Independence Day and others big time failures like The Flintstones. 20 years later? Uh what was this? Jurrasic Park: The Lost World is in between in my opinion those blockbusters from the 90's. In between a decent CGI blockbuster and a awful one. This movie while decent feels so so. It has a lot wrong with it. And I mean a lot! Lets start with Dr. Ian Malcolm's daughter. Now I don't really care that she is black and he is white. I always just thought he was the kind of good person that adopts a child in need. My problem with her is she couldn't act and she was totally unneeded in the entire movie. Never mind how she got to the Island is a completely mystery to those with half a brain. Like what on earth! How did she hide in the camper that had no real hiding place? Like seriously if we are to believe this, at least show it. Nah don't need that. Never mind Ian Malcolm not saying good-bye or noticing she is not around. In fact another question about these campers is how the flip did they get to the boat that took them to the Island in the first place. When the daughter is on the island, she cooks and makes a fire and that is how they found out. No surprise on the boat or whatever. Nah. Lets not make sense says the movie makers, lets just throw a kid in it like the last JP had so kids seeing the movie will get it.

I wish I could say the daughter is the only character that is out of place but basically they all are. Here is a few more. InGen's CEO Peter Ludlow who is trying to save InGen from the financial disaster that came from the original Jurassic Park aftermath. OK. I get it. However why on earth would a CEO ever be on a expedition to get a bunch of dinosaurs off the Island for a zoo. It's like Donald Trump overseeing the construction of one of his buildings on the ground with the construction workers. It does not make sense. Neither would do it.

And then there is Vince Vaughn. As a Photographer myself, I understand this character a tad. At least his photography part. I can even over look that his Camera gear is wrong. That's fine, it was the days where only a select few actually took photos so people didn't know including Vince Vaughn. However the unforgivable to his character is the fact he is some sort of Eco Navy Seal Wannabe who frees the dinos and whatever. It was just stupid. And then when they team up later with the group he attacks there is no conflict? None. He even gets the group going again at one point.

And don't even get me started on that ridiculous T-Rex in San Diego end. How did it even eat the people on the ship. It would have been better if it was Raptors as that would have made sense. Just plain awful! As you can see, this review is long. Assuming you're still reading it I could go on for pages and pages but the fact is this movie seems rushed. It seems like there wasn't a lot of thought put into it. It just feels and rightly so that it was made because people wanted a sequel. Except it really doesn't feel like a Jurassic Park movie and it is just so full of plot holes.

Jurrasic Park is one of Steven Spielburgs best. The Lost World I hate to say is not even close to his best and while not his worst. It isn't even in his top 10 movies he's made.

Maybe in 20 years I will watch it again. Nah... Probably not.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

Episode 3.5 is Great stuff! Its how to make a good prequel!

[10/10 · 19 December 2016]

I entered the theatre to see Rouge One with great skepticism. I wasn't overly impressed with Star Wars: The Force Awakens as it basically a reboot of "A New Hope" so my expectations were low. I thought "Oh no here we go again, some chick is going to be some undiscovered Jedi master again!". I was wrong! My expectations ruined the start of the movie for me.

As it started it seemed as if my expectations were right. Some little abandoned girl (again), who later in life is recruited by the Rebellion and forced to go on a mission (again). That was about it. That is where the comparison towards our girl Jyn Erso in Rouge One and Rey in The Force Awakens ends. In fact the two characters couldn't be further apart in similarities besides being two female leads in two Star Wars films. Jyn is simply a much stronger character then Rey might ever be. And best of all Jyn never picks up or even sees a Lightsabre! She does not become a Jedi master, she will not ever get a trilogy and Rouge One stands alone as a good science fiction movie that has an actual conclusion. Which was great since this is essentially Episode 3.5!

The scenes throughout the movie were absolutely amazing. Planet after planet just looked, well real! In fact had I not walked into this movie expecting Jyn Erso to become a Jedi, I probably would have enjoyed this movie so much more. I guess I will have to see it again. Even the story while predictable, especially since everyone seeing this movie have probably seen "A New Hope" and knows what to expect was still very good.

It is an absolute perfect prequel that no one asked for but makes the Episode 1, 2 and 3 look so vastly inferior. This is truly how to make a prequel. I absolutely loved it.

The Lonely Guy (1984)

"The Lonely Dumb Guy With No Self Respect" would have been a more accurate title.

[3/10 · 29 September 2016]

I swear I have a life. Though I just can't get enough of movies from before CGi ruined them all for story. So whenever I can I try to watch an older movie. This movie "The Lonely Guy" starring Steve Martin is such movie. Here we have a loser down on his luck. A guy who wants a girlfriend,  any girlfriend! Desperately! He got dumped and his heart broken. All that stuff. Problem is there is no real point to it.

Steve Martin plays his typical 80s SNL self. Loud, obnoxious and DUMB. Like real dumb. Like his girlfriend is in bed with her Latin lover and just acts like there is nothing wrong type DUMB. Like so bad he gets into bed with her and doesn't seem to care because he has a girlfriend. Like good grief Larry (the characters name) have some self respect. He doesn't. He is DUMB.

The movie goes on for sometime and he meets a woman at a coffee shop half way through the movie. She gives him his number after she calls him a lonely guy and ha HA she wrote the number on a napkin and he wipes his face because Larry is a DUMB character. So surprise he can't call her. Sees her at a restaurant, loses the number she leaves with the waiter. Then sees her again on a subway car across the station, steals a gangsters spray paint can and writes backwards where to meet on the opposing trains window. He meets here and finds out shes been married 6 times!!! Maybe fate was losing the numbers because he needs to avoid here perhaps.

He doesn't care because Larry has no self respect and just wants a girlfriend, any girlfriend. They date. He falls in love. She dumps him because he is perfect for her. Larry goes on a cruise. Surprise! She's on the same cruise. New York must be a small place in the 80s? He's still in love. They go to a costume party and he talks with her, begs her to go out with him again. A friend comes over as they're talking. The friend gets hypnotized by this women. Husband number 7 he becomes. Like a DUMB guy Larry tries to break up the wedding rather than count his lucky stars he's not marrying her. He is depressed because he can't marry this indecisive manipulative woman and goes to a bridge to jump off. As he is standing there. This psychopathic women just happens to be jumping off and he happens to catch her. Her reason is she couldn't live if she's not with Larry. Yeah right sure shes a crazy manipulator after all. They live happily ever after. Movie ends. And  this happily ever after probably lasts a day until this horrible woman dumps this dumb guy and gets divorce no.8!

The premise is an understandable one. We all know a severely lonely guy who'll take anyone, even a horrible person but this movie didn't do well enough to tell it. It tried to be a funny comedy and it just fell flat on its face. It was horrible and may just be Steve Martin's worse movie he's ever done (don't know, haven't seen them all).

Entertainment (2015)

Entertainment? When? Where? Huh? Like what!?!

[1/10 · 24 September 2016]

I usually dig movies like this. Ones with wide open panoramic cinematography and nobody characters but this one really made no sense at all. We basically have this unstable guy who travels around doing a horrible comedy routine. He takes in the sights and wears a yellow hat.

I get the premise of this movie. Basically it's a statement about how delusional we can be in our dreams. The main character absolutely fits that part. He doesn't know how to tell jokes, except to convicts and the most hilarity in his act is basically his comb over look. When someone heckles him he can't handle it and tears the person apart. He really doesn't care about anyone or anything.

I do not recommend this movie even if you are a fan of independent movies. This one is really forgettable. It's not very good and its ending is abrupt and pointless.

The Abyss (1989)

Can you hold your breath as long as me?

[1/10 · 17 September 2016]

I have to write a review. At this point there are more than 360 other reviews about this flick but I have to write a review.

I am a fan of James Cameron. Though I admit I really dislike Avatar and don't get me started on there being 5 by the 2020s! But his other movies are great. Titanic, Terminator 1 & 2 and True Lies are all great! So after more than 27 years I finally saw this movie. I was 9 when it originally came out and I think I saw it on video. Maybe. Whatever. Likely fell asleep.

So my review goes like this. IT WAS TOO LONG! Like it was like holding my breath under water long. You know when you're a kid in the pool with your school yard chum kind of contest holding your breath. Every second or two feels like an eternity. The story also felt very weak. Like I get they're on a rescue mission but they never really accomplished much except to get a nuke, one nuke out of many on the sub. Then a storm comes, there is always a storm. Then some space jellyfish come and interrupt the storey. Then more holding breath happens. So much so and then finally we see them and their ship. And their ship looked like a certain piece of the female anatomy!?! Like huh? And then the character Bud goes into the ship and watches low resolution television with some space jellyfish. And blah blah whatever!

The Abyss was a mess. I will never watch this movie again unless I am recruited by the CIA and trained to interrogate "bad guys". I will have them watch this abysmal movie a few times and guaranteed my friend they will crack.

Love Me (I) (2014)

Be careful what you wish for, or in this case pay for.

[7/10 · 24 April 2015]

This review ABSOLUTELY CONTAINS SPOILERS. Be warned now.

I was intrigued to watch this movie when I saw it listed on netflix. This documentary is about lonely men who would like to find someone to marry and they've taken to finding a mail order bride from the Ukraine online.

These guys are not to be pitied in the way some may pity them because they're legitimately trying to find a wife that will like them. None seem to be sexual predators whatsoever. They spend upwards of $10,000 plus to communicate with these women through a reprehensible dating service that charges a royal fortune just for communication that in some cases is not even legitimate.

Such as one overweight man, a nice guy who spent over $12,000 to talk with a girl who looked like a Russian Angelina Jolie (his words) who may or may not have been talking with 60 other guys paying a fortune also. Likelihood on she was talking to many guys and even more likely the person he was talking to wasn't even the same person as the photo he was shown. He was head over heals in love with her and even went on a tour to meet Ukrainian singles in three Ukrainian cities but held out waiting for her to show. She never did. He cried scam and the dating agency scrambled to get the model to meet him. Something was fishy and eventually he realized he was duped. But hey he said he'll try again...

Another man, this time an old Australian man went as far as married one of these Ukrainian girls in Indonesia after a long period of communication and even came to the Ukraine to court her. He shouldn't have as he was warned by a close friend of the would be bride that she is only using him. He ignored the warning. After the wedding because he was from Australia she had to go home to the Ukraine because of immigration purposes. The man tried to communicate with her after the wedding but she never responded to him. He gets worried and travels to the Ukraine again to meet her to see what is up. After all she is his wife. He meets her, she says no thank you, she walks out. He is devastated. She later tells the documentary she was talking to many guys keeping her options open for the best deal.

A younger fella, falls for a Ukrainian woman, it seems to be going good. He meets her on a tour to meet Ukrainian singles in three Ukrainian cities, he believes a spark happens between him and her. He falls in love. He communicates with her. They "fall in love" and he travels back to the Ukraine to meet her and her family. While he is there a "police officer" comes to arrest her for debt owed. Its $4000 dollars. The young fella says "I don't have $4000 dollars I only have a couple hundred" and the so called police officer accepts that. The young fella smelt something was wrong here, and he left empty handed and I believe he knew he was scammed. My hope is he'll likely find a nice American girl to settle down with and be the happier for it.

One man did marry a Ukrainian. Very tall, pretty and stylish. She even got impregnated by this guy. I hope it works out but I am suspect of her motives. And I suspect I am not the only one.

The entire point of this documentary is that Mail Order Brides aka Russian Love Brides is a complete scam based on LUST not love. While I don't doubt there are very very nice women in the Ukraine and Russia that truly want to be married to a nice respectable guy from the west, there is enough con artists out there to ruin it for everyone. And they do this by promoting the hottest women you can imagine. Girls who if born in North America would be Super Models, Actress, Married to Cartel Dons or Billionaires. Women who would not even give these guys the time of day in America. This is where the scam preys on unsuspecting guys and lures them to dish out thousands of dollars to communicate with them. Their weapon of choice is superficial lust.

My opinion about mail order brides is, be careful, watch this documentary and others like it, before you give your hard earned money away. And remember that you lusting after these beautiful women is what scammers are counting on. So be smart if you pursue a Mail Order Bride.

And to any guy who was in this documentary who might be reading this, I feel for you.

Danger 5 (2011–2015)

Bad on purpose is sometimes a good thing!

[9/10 · 25 March 2015]

Shows this lame and campy are not easy to make. It takes a lot of time and thought to make it this way. Especially when made with cheese on purpose like Danger 5 clearly is. The amount of effort that goes into making this show is astounding. And is risky because it could totally backfire after so much is invested in it.

On Netflix it has a low rating because people who watch it don't get the satire that it is trying to portray. They likely think its old and lame. But really, it began in 2011 and if anyone thinks its not made like this on purpose, they're crazier then some of the set designs and characters. Speaking of characters, Nazi Dinosaurs? The mere concept is hilarious and ridiculous at the same time! Fortunately on IMDb people seem to get it.

Danger 5 is cheesy. Its campy. Its lame. Its terribly bad on purpose. Its original. Its SO SO GOOD!

Savages (I) (2012)

Was it Ghost Directed? It wasn't very good.

[1/10 · 15 November 2014]

You know how some books are written by a Ghost Writer? That is a person who wrote the book but another is given the credit for it. This Oliver Stone film stinks of a movie that must of had a Ghost Director. Isn't Oliver Stone capable of better? This movie looks like (before you watch it) a movie that is going to be all punches like Goodfellas, Scarface, Platoon or even Lord of War. And yet, its not. Not even close to any of those. Oh how it tries to be some memorable movie about cartels and drugs but its not. It is FORGETTABLE.

The plot ran slowly. And slowly can be good in well directed movies yet this one wasn't like I say it went nowhere. For example Breaking Bad is mostly slow, but it is well done slow and it always leads somewhere. This movie was slow and pretentious and had three of the worst actors in Hollywood. It truly went nowhere really.

Taylor Kitsch (John Carter, Battleship) can not act, especially in a lead roll. Any movie this guy is given to be a lead in ends up being terrible. His acting is nonexistent and he needs to be reduced to a back up role.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Kick Ass) not since Jon Heder has there been a nerd type actor who has been thrown into many others rolls. He is the best of the three bad actor leads but still not a lead role for an actor like this.

Blake Lively (Gossip Girl) is the worst leading lady I have ever witnessed. She just can't act and her voice over in this movie just gets really really really annoying. What more can I say, you likely seen this movie if you're reading the "Hated It" reviews on IMDb so you know what I mean.

Selma Hayek, John Travolta and Benicio Del Toro where fine in this movie. Also not their finest but not their worst performance either. They where just what you would expect to see from them.

All in All, I hated this movie. It was terrible and boring and one of those movies that makes me feel I need to vent so I wrote a review here on IMDb. See my other reviews if you are interested.

Who Cares (2012)

Who cares? I do and so should you!

[7/10 · 9 September 2014]

OK I might be a wee bit biased with this review seeing that it's the first documentary I have ever seen filmed in my hometown. I knew where every location was. However, that bias only is for the cinematography and filming location. I am from Edmonton, Alberta where it is filmed and I am Edmonton proud! That is were it ends for my bias. I am disgusted that the streets of my city are such a dangerous place at night for these women. I do not agree with prostitution but I truly feel for these women. This documentary for me made me feel more. And I think that is the point. To feel for the sides of the women who live this life every day. I wish we as a society would focus more on real social issues (like human trafficking) and not focus as much on nonsense ones.

Now documentary wise, this documentary is basically in the middle. Its not the best one I have ever seen by a long shot but it is also not the worst. So if you can catch this online or on something like netflix then I recommend it. But just so you know it wont be winning a lot of awards either.

Goosebumps (1995–1998)

Goosebumps the show I never appreciated but do now.

[8/10 · 23 March 2014]

I admit I hated this show when I was a kid. I thought it was stupid and immature. Then again when this was on the AIR I was watching shows like X-Files and Star Trek: The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine so compared to the production values of those big American shows what chance does a little cheap Canadian show made for kids have anyways.

This show is very very very well done with great stories and episodes. For anyone born in the 80's and early 90's it's a reminder of what life was like and what life looked like back then when we were young. It's a good show because the stories are so good. I haven't a clue if they make shows like this any more but honestly they could reboot this show for this decade and for this batch of kids and I believe it would be just as good but in HD.

At the time of this review you can find this show on netflix. I recommend checking out a few episodes if you want something interesting but nonviolent, nonfilledwithswears, and wholesome. I'd let my kids watch this any day.

For a 1990s kid show I give this show 8 stars out of 10. Don't forget to read my other reviews. Thanks.

The Butterfly Effect (2004)

It's a Love story.

[8/10 · 22 November 2013]

This may be one of the best well thought out movies I have ever seen that ultimately is a love story. Never before have I seen a movie that goes from selfishness to a love story so quickly. You begin thinking that this movie is about science fiction meets sixth sense kinda stuff but towards the end you realize its all been about saving the girl the main character Evan loves who in the end makes the ultimate sacrifice by sacrificing his life to save the girl because there is nothing left for him to do in the end, he's tried everything else. So he gives his life demonstrating true love in the purest of forms. This is what the butterfly effect is, it is a love story from beginning to end.

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

What on Earth, no Asgard was this?

[2/10 · 22 November 2013]

I like the first Thor but honestly this one was so boring and predictable that I left the movie theatre tired and incredibly bored. It starts off with a huge battle and that is great. I like battles but it is between the Asgard and the Dark Elves. The dark elves get beaten and thought of as dead. And for some reason Asgard, protector of the nine realms does not really confirm this, they just assume. So an entire millennium passes. Then Natalie Portman is in London. Just like that, for some reason she is in England and then for some reason, just like that in a warehouse is an inter dimensional gate to a dark cave that holds some crazy slimy looking evil ghost like thing, that naturally possesses her sort of. She is still herself but if some touch her they are thrown across the room, while if others touch her they are fine.

Well after an hour of this, then finally the Dark Elves attack Asgard, attack London and take the evil from Natalie Portman who survives naturally. Thor does a bunch of punching and tough stares. Loki lies a bunch of times and naturally there is a big alien battle in London and of course Thor saves the day with the help of Natalie Portman and her earthly friends.

I honestly found this movie so boring and recycled that I found myself actually wanting to fall a sleep in the theatre. I had such high hopes for this movie because I thought the first one (see my review for it) was pretty good. This one I am not interested in ever seeing again. It is predictable, long and boring.

The Box (I) (2009)

Interesting concept for a movie. But a BIG fail in telling it.

[2/10 · 14 July 2013]

I was intrigued when I saw a preview for this movie on some other movie I own. I am sure that movie, which I can't recall at the moment that I saw the preview for "the box" was a much better movie, even if it was "Hot Tub Time Machine" or something like that.

This movie has one of the most deceptive or most clever previews I have ever seen because it draws you in and makes the movie look incredible. So a week went by, I was at a garage sale and what did I see "The Box". Well I pushed the box into my BluRay player and pressed the button, the play button. I wonder did I kill anyone when I pressed play for this movie? Was the movie the actual box that when everyone pressed play, someone somewhere died? Then where is my million dollars or in 1976 purchasing power my $3.7 million dollars in today value? Was I just part of a social experiment? Nah can't be.

As you can probably tell, I wasted my time watching this movie. While it was interesting it explained nothing. It should have explained the "Alien" influence a bit better like say, something came to NASA because it discovered the Viking spacecraft in outer space. At leas that is what I figured to be the reason for taking place in 1976. But instead of that, we're left with nothing.

I am disappointed in "The Box" it really had nothing. There was no point to this movie. Perhaps that was the point to this movie. The point is, that if Hollywood makes a movie look so good in a preview we'll watch it, because they've proved we'll pretty much watch anything even "Hot Tub Time Machine" which was better than this.

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Star Trek: Into Darkness is simply amazing!

[10/10 · 19 May 2013]

This review is essentially just my thoughts on this movie. If you want an in depth review I am sure there are others here.

OK so I admit I am a Stargeek. I know about Star Trek Canon and the first movie bothered me when they destroyed Vulcan but that was the first movie, this one is way different and way better. Its simply amazing visually, and the fluidic flow to the story was great. The special effects were incredible and it just simply worked!

If you want an entertaining couple of hours I urge you to watch this. You shouldn't be bored for even a second. It really is that good. Whether you're a stargeek or a cool person that wont admit they watch Star Trek you WILL LIKE THIS FILM.

P.S. Oh and for us stargeeks out there, this one DID have Star Trek Canon in it when it had a small model of the Enterprise from the ST:ENT series in the Admirals office. As we all know Enterprise was a prequel to Kirk's enterprise so everything that happened in ENT happened in this same alternate Star Trek Universe so that was a nice addition for us geeks. Hahaha

Taken 2 (2012)

Taken 2 just doesn't work. Taken 1 was amazing though, watch that!

[2/10 · 12 May 2013]

This review is essentially just my thoughts on this movie.

So assuming you saw TAKEN you know that Kim, the girl in TAKEN 2 was kidnapped and sold into sexual slavery when her and her friend went to France for a vacation after high school so then her Dad rescued them. Now what I don't get about this sequel is that apparently Kim had such a traumatic time in Europe - which is established early in this movie – then why on earth would she ever set foot in Europe again. Like if that happened to me, you can bet I would never ever ever travel to Europe again, and like never travel internationally again either. Yet in this movie Kim just is so quick to hop a plane with her mother (another unlikely person to travel or allow her daughter to travel) and go to not only Europe but Turkey of all places. The place where her kidnappers in France were from because they had Turkish C-Star tattoos on their hands. Never mind the fact that not a whole lot of time has actually passed from the time the girl got kidnapped in the first movie and goes to Turkey in this one. This is a pretty bad oversight on the story writers behalf.

So for this reason alone I found that this movie simply is unbelievable and pretty boring. Taken was a great movie that was interesting, scary and suspenseful. Where as Taken 2 really and honestly never needed to be made. If you agree with my thought on this movie please click you found this review helpful. This is all I am going to say on this movie.

Oblivion (I) (2013)

Oblivion shows how good CGI can be!

[8/10 · 24 April 2013]

What a great Sci-Fi movie. It is visually amazing and creative and Tom Crusie performs a great performance in a Tom Crusie kinda way.

It essentially is the end of the world. And the population is all gone on Earth ready to move to their new home. So Cruise's character "Jack" is left to clean up while they take what resources they have left on Earth to the moon around Saturn called Titan. But all is not as it seems. And Jack's world changes as a space shuttle from space crashes near by. I wont say much more because it will totally spoil the movie for you. But take my word for it you are in for a wild ride of special effects, creativity and fascinating premise.

I'll likely update this review when I see this movie again. But I wanted to get it up on the day I saw this movie the first time. It is worth seeing a second time.

Cloverfield (2008)

Cloverfield is a watchable movie. Could have been better though.

[6/10 · 14 April 2013]

I am not sure how to review this movie with out breaking it into things I don't like and do like about it. Because I am kind of divided on it. So here it goes…

Things I don't like about this movie.

• They wasted this entire movie by making it look like it was shot on a camcorder. This really gets to me.

• The Yuppie party. I really don't like the fact how yuppie and exclusive this party was.

• The lack of information about the monster/alien. We essentially learn nothing what so ever.

• How fast the military shows up. To me it seems a little fast considering its downtown Manhattan.

• To me it seems like Manhattan got empty of people rather quickly.

• The headache I got from watching this movie.

Things I like about this movie.

• I like the concept of this movie. I always think it's a tad predictable that the experts in charge are always the ones in the movies with an alien attack. With Cloverfield its just some yuppies walking around not knowing what to do. So you can relate, well sort of.

• The sets and filming locations were amazing. It did look like a trashed New York city.

• The skyscraper leaning on another building. This is capable of happening when two buildings are very close together.

• The camcorder used for this film is shot in real time. I've read others complain that its unlikely the battery would last for this long, however a battery on a camcorder does in fact last longer then say an hour and a half.

Overall it's a pretty good sci-fi movie. Its realistic enough and it has a good concept for an idea, the idea being an Alien attack being filmed by people who have no idea what is going on. It is worth a watch and its pretty entertaining. This is why I give it a 6 out of 10.

Grown Ups (I) (2010)

They should have named this movie "Pretentious"...

[1/10 · 9 April 2013]

I was wondering if this movie was funny so I decided to watch it. It's not. I am a fan of Spade, James, Sandler, and Rock and I find them funny in movies of their own. This movie is not funny and one word comes to mind. Pretentious. This movie just assumes that because it has all these funny comedians in it that it will be funny by default. Its boring. It reminds me of a 1980's Dan Akroyd and John Candy movie called "The Great Outdoors". That movie also tried way too hard to be funny. It too was Pretentious.

Grown ups would have been a lot funnier if it did not have children in it. I understand they are supposed to be "grown up" with their kids, but these comedians, minus Kevin James are usually in pretty vulgar movies and having kids part of this movie limits their comedic talent.

Do yourself a favour and avoid this pretentious movie. It is too full of itself. Have a nice day and know this, you have been warned.