TheReviewMaster Reviews

Scream VI (2023)

Better than 5, but cannot top a Craven's Screams.

[7/10 · 9 March 2023]

I wasn't a fan of Scream 5. Scream 6, though, was a tad more enjoyable.

The opening scene was great. Still have my gripes with it, yet was probably the third best of the franchise.

The reveal I actually enjoyed. Overacting remains a problem, as it was in Scream 5. Psychos don't suddenly start overacting when unmasked. Mickey from Scream 2 is a good example of the perfect balance of psycho but not too psycho.

You never go full psycho.

I can't get into the new characters. Chad I can tolerate. Sam is okay, but she's no Sydney. The others I struggle to care for. Mindy is perpetually annoying and no Randy substitute. Every time her mouth opened I found myself rolling my eyes.

There was no need for Kirby in this film. It wasn't the same Kirby I loved from Scream 4. She should have remained a ghostface victim to maintain her legacy.

Still, I liked the grittier tone and some of the risks they took, but, these guys are no Wes Craven, the cast are pretty bland, the writers not as witty as Williamson, but glad Scream 6 exists.

Let it end there.

Demonic (I) (2021)

Unique and not.

[5/10 · 5 July 2022]

I liked the idea behind it. He's a good director and I would have liked to see his Alien film over anything Ridley Scott would give us. But that dream had passed. He fits well into the horror genre.

Not the best film but, was enjoyable.

Stranger Things: Chapter Nine: The Piggyback (2022) Season 4, Episode 9

A Message for Duffer Brothers and Team

[7/10 · 5 July 2022]

Releasing these episodes a month later took me out of what happened previously.

Max not dying, as others have said, was the hugest dissappointment of the show. Main characters needed to fall, and it had me a little disgruntled after the great first 7 episodes.

Eddie dying made zero sense. He didn't need to choose that moment not to run. Sometimes not running is stupid, like running into a bunch of killer bats when all he had to do was lead them away from Dustin and the gaping hole in the roof, which, they could have used at any time throughout the show anyway.

If Vecna can go into anyone's mind and do what he did to 4 teens, the guy could have just done it to all the kids, at any time. There's no reason he took so long to do this nor why he only chose four. He can do it at will, whenever he wanted. No dramas. Makes no sense.

Mike is the worst character and worst actor on this show. He always has been the worst and most unlikeable. He isn't the heart of anything, and 11 would be better off with some random at this point. He brings nothing of value. He reminds me of the most arrogant, annoying kids I knew at high school.

Will. Jesus. Apart from being a wet blanket, who cares about his sexuality. Literally no one cares about these things apart from a handful on twitter who think there should be no same sex couples in life and on the show. Twitter is not real life. Give Will a boyfriend and move on. Don't know why he'd even like Mike. There's literally people crying on the internet because he never came out and said "I like males." Just get it over with.

I'd prefer to watch a show about the Russians than anything Mike, Will, Jonathon, Argyle are up to.

But hey, let's kill Eddie, even though Eddie couldn't escape what people thought of him, he could have hid out with 11. She's being chased by worse.

And finally, Master of Puppets. Didn't find this moment powerful at all. Running up that hill wad powerful because it was remixed into the score. Instead we had metallica playing Master of Puppets. It didn't feel like Eddie was playing it at all. Could have just had the guitar playing along with the score around it to make it feel more genuine and real. Didn't need to hear hetfelds voice.

Apart from that. It was good. But didn't live up to the first 7 episodes.

Max should not have been saved.

We Summon the Darkness (2019)

Summonings hormones.

[5/10 · 26 September 2020]

Directing: not bad.

Acting: good.

Chicks: would make a good orgy.

Story: levels of originality.

Music: mostly forgettable.

Extra Comments: it has quite a few good scenes. A few welcome yet predictable surprises.

World War Z (2013)

Perfect vehicle for Tom Cruise's running.

[5/10 · 25 September 2020]

Directing: does the job. Cinematography: good enough. Acting: standard. Chicks: meh. Realism: none. Music: Beltrami never fails. Zombies: too fast. A bit too crazy and over the top. But it works for scares and adrenaline. Plane scene is ridiculous.

Comments: No way would Brad Pitt be with that woman. Zero chance in zombie hell.

Black Water (2007)

Crocodiles scare me.

[7/10 · 25 September 2020]

Directing: top notch. Acting: not bad for Australians. Even Australians can't act truly Australian, always comes off wrong. Chicks: batoffable. Cinematography: adds a sense of realism.

Crocodiles and water films in general scare the crap out of me. I struggle to watch them. Something about what's beneath.

This film truly terrifies me even though I've watched it twice.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Yawn of the Dead

[4/10 · 23 September 2020]

Directing: Poor. Music: Didn't even notice it. Colour Grading: Not important. Acting: couple of hot chicks and Pegg and the other guy were their usual selves. Humour: had its moments, but was often dampened by the sheer stupidity of some of the characters. Zombies: hardly a threat, more like a poorly conceived plot device.

Black Water: Abyss (2020)

YouTube Crocodile Videos are Better

[4/10 · 17 September 2020]

Anyone who has watched an incredible amount of crocodile videos on YouTube would understandably watch this and recognise how the makers of this film have no idea how crocodiles operate.

The original film is clever. This is not. In no way does this crocodile exhibit any crocodile behaviour. A clever premise ruined by lack of depth.

Creed II (2018)

Drago is the better person.

[5/10 · 22 December 2019]

Adonis is a privileged fighter who grew up with money. He disrespects Rocky. Blames Rocky and everyone else for his bad decisions, and I truly believed he should have lost to Drago, the underdog with nothing in life but his father. The Dragos are the heroes of this story.

The Twilight Zone: The Comedian (2019) Season 1, Episode 1

Horrible

[1/10 · 23 June 2019]

I just watched this now and I can honestly say it was one of the most atrocious hours of television I have ever watched. Jordan Peele is a bland narrator. And...no to everyone who took part in the making of this episode.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

Bring Back George Lucas!

[2/10 · 11 January 2016]

Hated it. Was bored in the opening scene and the boredom continued through to the end. It wasn't Star Wars. Trying to capture the original star wars in 2016 was a bad move that only hurt the franchise. There was little depth to anything force related, there was no memorable dialogue, the music was highly unmemorable (snooze John Williams, please retire your best work is done), the only aspect I enjoyed was Kylo Ren. Snoke, Jesus, don't even get me started on what a failure his attendance was. Fans actually destroy their own franchises in the end by demanding what they know, and when they get what they know, they cry about it. I for one enjoyed and miss the richness of the sequels and believe the whole franchise would have been better off under Lucas's guidance.

Fear the Walking Dead (2015–2023)

Fear that We are the Viewing Dead

[5/10 · 2 November 2015]

SEASON ONE I found myself on my phone looking at boring things on the internet by the third and fourth episodes. The opportunity to offer something fresh and new was completely wasted and by the end of all six episodes I felt I'd just watched the first season and an imitation of The Walking Dead.

What new can the show runners offer us by taking us back to the beginning so we can see the world tear itself apart quicker than a meth-addict with imaginary bugs under his skin?

It quickly just inherits the same formula.

Survival. People have to do crumby things that they once considered against their moral codes. Walk. Talk. Zombie here zombie there. Someone's lying.

The opportunity to create a tense slow-burn show with a huge pay-off was squandered. The opportunity to show a whole other side to the Walking Dead world was missed.

We, the viewers, have truly become the Viewing Dead.

The Thing (I) (2011)

Imitation: This truly is "The Thing"

[6/10 · 27 July 2015]

I'm writing this review only to say that after being drunk and rewatching this film I had a minor revelation about why they would call this prequel to the amazing "The Thing", "The Thing".

At first I had thought the film makers were lazy. Then I thought they were just trying to express how perhaps the prequel and the original were in fact one singular movie. But what I realised upon this last drunken viewing was that: The Thing, the creature itself, is an imitator. And that's exactly what this movie is. The Thing replicates a person (or a movie) that already exists, yet when it imitates this person (or movie), it is merely a poorer, less accurate version of this person (or movie).

This movie is literally: The Thing. It is an imitation of, The Thing. Yet it cannot fully replicate its brilliance. It is just a copy. And looking at the movie (and its title) with this logic and viewpoint makes it far more enjoyable.

Jurassic World (2015)

Just what the World Needed...Dinosaurs Done Right

[9/10 · 16 June 2015]

Just recently I wrote a few reviews for some low-budget sci-fi creature-feature movies that posed the question of what they would look like if given a hundred million dollars. I finally have my answer, and that is Jurassic World.

I was gobsmacked through this whole movie. It's an event, a spectacle, and just good ol' monster fun with some truly frightening scenes and one really disturbing scene which shocked the hell out of me.

I have a few gripes with it, but I also have a few gripes with all the Jurassic films. Spielberg is as flawed a director as anyone and his Jurassic Park movies were filled with some illogic. This updated version fixes those flaws then makes new ones.

Aside from that. EPIC!!!

Rampage (2009)

A Uwe Boll Masterpiece

[5/10 · 2 June 2015]

I abhor violence, but Rampage was one hell of a good movie, despite the subject being absolutely disturbing. I didn't like watching people getting gunned down, but it really hit home the social commentary Rampage tried to make, and it's a touchy subject that's been explored far too little. You can't tell the story of a lone gunman without it being in-your-face.

I've never had a problem with Uwe Boll like most people. Sometimes he makes things I can't watch, but most of his movies I've watched I actually like. He thinks differently, which means you're going to get something different, and different to me is well worth investing the time into.

Rampage is different, told very realistically, and has a lot to say about the world around you and I. Well done Uwe Boll, you've really (and I'm going to say this completely aware it's in bad taste) gunned down the critics with this one.

Bermuda Tentacles (2014 TV Movie)

Tentacles Will Drag You Under

[4/10 · 31 May 2015]

How could I give this movie a 4, you may ask? Easy. It's B-Grade TV movie trash and all films need to be taken on the merits and medium they were made for and presented in (and it's still better than Trans4mers). If this were advertised or portrayed itself as something more than what it is, then it would have gotten a 2.5 out of ten.

Honestly, it's not that bad. The storyline actually had some originality to it, and scripts and movies like this, if given the proper budget and a great writer could turn into something magical. It got me thinking of cool new ideas for a Bermuda Triangle movie involving tentacles, and I came up with some unique twists on the genre never done before. Perhaps I should write it.

Linda Hamilton fell to a new low in acting here, but what do you expect. Jamie Kennedy whom I will always be fond of from the original Scream trilogy actually put in a good performance, and I don't know why that guy doesn't get more good film roles. Some of the other acting is laughable and that's what makes it fun. I actually didn't mind some of the special effects and some of the ideas were actually inspired.

The last act bored the hell out of me and I found it tough to finish off the film, but overall, it's just a sci-fi movie with a low budget made for television that always will have more potential but it's just not destined to be that kind of movie.

12 Rounds (2009)

Give This Movie aRound

[6/10 · 25 May 2015]

I like Renny Harlin. I can sit back, watch his films, and just have a good time. There's not much he's done that I haven't liked, and 12 Rounds is included on that list.

It's a high octane, non-stop action fest with some pretty good sequences. It's kind of like Die Hard with a Vengeance on the run. John Cena does a great job even if he is coming from a wrestling background. He had an on-screen presence that although towering, is also almost kitten like; soft on the inside and tough as nails on the out.

Yes, the film is somewhat mind-numbing, and there's a few flaws in the action, but that's what you watch this for, to watch things pass by on the screen without having to guess anything, just pure entertainment for the action buffs.

Renny, I salute you, but please, get back to your blockbusters.

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (2014 TV Movie)

Better Than Trans4mers, Worse Than Sharktopus

[3/10 · 25 May 2015]

If you're after cheesy low budget sci-fi, then this should get you through the afternoon. It's not one of the best cheesy C-Grade sci-fi films you'll find out there, but it's worth a look if you want to kill time waiting for the next low budget TV creature feature, "Sharktopus vs Whalewolf".

It's better than "Transformers: Age of Extinction", but worse than the original "Sharktopus".

The highlights of this film were the badly acted tourists, but in saying that, some of the acting wasn't too bad, and there were quite a few intelligent lines for an unintelligible movie. Some of the characters were kind of funny, for eg. "You'll have to contact my lawyer, but he's in jail right now." The effects are good for a laugh. I like to watch these types of films and imagine the big "what if's?", in other words, what if this were a sixty million dollar budgeted film, how cool would sharktopus look. It's kind of a bland blank canvas you can paint your own imagination on.

I give it a three out of ten for overall quality but if this were the "B-Grade Internet Movie Database" it would get a five.

Sharktopussy versus Pteracuda-pina-collada.

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

Think of Species...It's Nothing Like It

[7/10 · 21 May 2015]

PRE-VIZ: Going into this film I expected some sort of "Species" rip-off that will try hard to be different but come off as a lower-budgeted replica. I was wrong. This film is nothing like "Species" and in ways is far more superior, depending on your cinematic tastes.

SMILES: Scarlett naked. There is plenty of it. What surprised me most was she doesn't have the most amazing body, which made it even sexier and real. She performed well on the acting side of things too. Aside from nudity, the imagery used in this film is striking, very symbolic, very artistic, allowing me to use my brain. Instead of being spoon-fed, the subtleties of characters and body language and the imagery crafted the story. It was a unique experience and journey well worth taking. The musical score was very tasty and reminiscent of "Alien" in ways. One of the best and most original I've heard in a long time. Brought me even deeper into the movie. The film touched me on emotional levels and if a film is able to do that, then it's doing something right.

FROWNS: The last act took an odd turn. With all the directions this film could have taken to make it completely different, it took a road that felt lesser than what it could have been. It took me out of the mood and atmosphere of what had come before it.

POST-VIZ: I got a real 80's vibe from this film, which I also got from the poster. Everything felt like it belonged to a whole other generation of movie goers. Seduction; predator and prey; these are only part of the themes the film excels at portraying in wholly visual and unique ways that stunned me. I will be thinking of some of the imagery in this film for a while, and not just of Scarlett naked. There truly is some real original stuff you won't see in any other movie.

Big Hero 6 (2014)

Animated Avengers: Another Superhero Story

[4/10 · 19 May 2015]

Big Hero 6 in a nutshell is basically an Avengers-style story where A) a team of heroes get together to, B) fight an evil villain, and instead of live action it's done in, C) computer generated imagery. There's a dash of, D) emotional conflicts, and, E) humorous characters, which leads to, F) much of a muchness. Superhero stories are becoming all the same, and trying to hide the clichés and tropes inside CGI doesn't change the fact that most of it has been seen and done before. Big Hero 6 felt at times that it was trying to be a live action film, and might have benefited from it.

What did impress me though was the villain whom had a very impressive method of villainy.

If you want much of the same as you've already seen but need it to look really pretty, really colourful, and want your kids to learn all about how much fun illegal gambling is, how violence and healing can work hand-in-hand, and how forgiveness comes once you've unleashed that violence, then by all means, watch it.

A Dangerous Method (2011)

An Uninteresting Method

[4/10 · 17 May 2015]

I like David Cronenberg, I really do, but something doesn't feel right about this effort. It felt chopped up, like the most interesting aspects of the film ended up on a floor somewhere.

Jung and Freud are real-life fathers of modern day psychoanalysis whose works I have always remained interested in. Yet from what I know about their lives and their theories (especially Jung), there must have been some other script or movie that could have been written that would work a lot better than this one did.

From the moment Keira Knightley came on the screen playing a mental patient my interest lessened. The more I saw her on screen in what felt like extreme overacting mode, I started thinking of other movies. The more and more her character showed up I began to wonder why they advertised this as a film about Freud and Jung, because in the end it wasn't.

I couldn't get into this movie. I enjoyed the scenes between Jung and Freud and a lot of the psychoanalysis that went on in the film, but as I said before, there must have been some other way to make a movie about these two that was more . . . creative. Something that really went into the minds of these two characters. Something truly reflective of their work, because watching two psychologists sending letters back and forth wasn't really that enthralling, and watching Keira Knightley act strange and make funny faces was a huge turnoff.

The Town (2010)

Much to Say About This "Town"

[7/10 · 17 May 2015]

Say what you want about him, but Ben Affleck does have the acting chops to pull of various amounts of roles. In "The Town", he shows us through directing, writing and acting credits just how much of a talent he is and what he can offer us in the upcoming Batman V. Superman.

It's now 2015, so it took me 5 years to get around to this movie, and I have to say it was a welcome surprise. I've never been to Charlestown and don't know if the crime is accurately portrayed in the movie, but if it is, it's the kind of story that helps you connect and understand the robbers, why they do what they do, how it's a taught behaviour, how it's all part of growing up in certain places, how it's a legacy business.

I switched this film off thinking about money. Money is just paper, and all these guards and police, why are they putting their lives at risk for paper? Why are robbers being shot and killed . . . for paper? Isn't that an insane thing for humanity to fight over, for people to be killed over? Not all the robbers are saints of course, but they're not all bad either. The FBI in this movie came off more like the villains for me because they used every slimy, ratty method they could to try and bring these "bad guys" down.

This film is rich in its ability to show a different kind of class than many would be used to, and gives an insight into why some people take the path of lawlessness. I highly recommend it for people who like to see different sides of the fence.

Need for Speed (2014)

Need for Brain Cells

[1/10 · 17 May 2015]

I rarely give a movie this low a rating, because every movie has it's pluses, but Need for Speed had me angry the whole two hour run time. I liked the first three and the fifth Fast and Furious movies, so I'm not a hater of the genre, but this film . . .

I have never seen so much irresponsible, stupid, idiotic and moronic decisions made by so many characters. The main character and supposed hero of the story, Tobey Marshall, is the most reckless, idiotic, brain-dead human being I have ever seen on celluloid. And the fact he is the hero of the story says something. The amount of innocent people this person put in danger with his stupid decisions made Dino (the bad guy) look like a saint in comparison, and the whole movie I hoped Tobey would either get arrested or crash his car so no one else could be put in danger by his stupidity. There is no logic to any of the decisions he makes. The whole gang of protagonists are basically criminals with zero to below zero intelligence, who make one bad, irresponsible, illogical and non-heroic maneuver after another.

I don't know if this is what the film makers were going for, to show what big egg-heads people who drive like this are, but they succeeded on every level of convincing me the world has gone mad, and that immoral behaviour that puts lives at risk for . . . for what? For some secret illegal race? To prove who's the better driver? To prove who's the bigger man? To win 2.7 million dollars when the cash is spread out enough to make ends meet for a long time? "What?" I kept asking myself. "What the hell are these meat-heads doing?" I've never seen Aaron Paul in anything else, so I don't know what type of actor he is, but he managed to pull of the "Brain-dead, talks in the longest drawl possible, stupid-faced, Pinky/Brain Hybrid, Doh" character I have ever seen. If that's what he was going for, he succeeded. If he didn't want me to like his character at all. He succeeded.

The one star is for the blonde brit, and that is about it.

Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Despicable, With a Dose of Delightful

[5/10 · 15 May 2015]

This is a tough one to rate and review. On the one hand, the rendering and quality of the CGI is up to the highest standards (animated films seem to be getting more beautiful with each year that passes); the minions provide the core comedy of the film, being cute and lovable idiots who at heart are really just immoral, child-like agents of chaos; and there are plenty of nods to sci-fi and horror that I found littered about the film.

But on the other hand, it seems tired. It doesn't feel like it's added anything new to animated films. Gone are the days of The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin, where our heroes aren't complete and utter idiots, but intelligent beings with flaws and emotions we can all connect with.

Although the minions are fun, I found this film to be another addition to the "Let's Dumb Down the Human Race and Little Kids with Silly Idiotic Secretively Violent Characters" sub-genre of the animated film industry, and the film industry at large. Villains and stupidity have become all the rage.

Despicable Me 2 was on my watch list, and I'm glad I gave it a whirl, but I'm hoping one day we get an animated film that brings the same emotional impact the classics used to bring to the table instead of the increasing Hollywood addiction to making stupidity and violence fun by hiding it within seemingly harmless characters in kids movies.

Scream (1996)

Taking My Love of Movie Reviews One Step Too Far

[10/10 · 15 May 2015]

I first watched this as a teenager and was blown away by the first ten minutes, and after the impressive opening of this film, was kept hooked and entertained the whole way through. The first frame through to the last showcases, despite a few flaws, what an almost flawlessly perfect horror movie looks like. Scream is well known by now for revitalising a dead genre, and in doing so, created its own, and burrowed its way deep into my subconscious that I screamed out in agony when they not only screwed up Scream 4, but flat out denied us the promised Scream 5 and 6.

Keeping this review Spoiler-free is hard considering it's the type of movie where twists and turns and red herrings is what keeps it entertaining. It's the type of film where you have this one conversation with yourself the whole way through: "he's the killer. No. He's the killer. No. He's the killer. No. He's the killer." I never guessed the killer.

Kevin Williamson has always been one of my favourite writers and ideas man (when he's writing films and not crappy television shows), and Scream shows him at his best. Wes Craven has an uncanny knack of creating memorable icons. It must have been his destiny to scar people's brains with terror-ific, unforgettable images. As a child he probably sat in bed thinking: "How do I make other people not be able to sleep at night?" Neve Campbell is the perfect scream queen, marred only by the fact she won't do nudity.

Marco Beltrami's Scream score is still one of his best musical works to this day. Nothing he has done since Scream and two of its sequels has ever come close in brilliance to the unique sound he created for this and those films.

This movie truly is a Scream and I gave it, at a time when the internet wasn't really around that much, the greatest word of mouth ever. I still enjoy sitting down with people who haven't had the pleasure of watching it and seeing their reactions for the first time.

It's most certainly a Screamer.