halldanielsl Reviews

Ocean's Thirteen (2007)

total waste of talent, absolute rubbish from start to finish

[1/10 · 21 March 2008]

this film is a total waste of time. money, talent, effort (on the part of the poor viewer...certainly not the overrated, overpaid bunch of so called "actors" who walk through this dross only interested in their pay cheques....where was i on waste...oh yes.....a waste of opportunity. there are so many of us who would love the chance, the opportunity, to make a major movie, any movie, let alone one with stars, backing, funds, distribution etc etc this director had that opportunity and thought "why bother?"...so he turned in a second rate, slow, boring (my god how do you make a heist film boring???) with actors who can't be bothered to act, writers who cant be bothered to write etc etc the only question is why i am i bothering? well after this i won't be..George Clooney (surely one of the worst actors ever!) and the rest can kiss my vote goodbye...i will now go out of my way to avoid anything this bunch are in.....

Lady in the Water (2006)

a thoughtful film - a rarity

[9/10 · 7 February 2008]

Like some others on this page i too came to this film expecting little. What i got was something rather wonderful (and in this age of computer generated re-runs of tired story lines)- a rare thoughtful film that appealed to more than just the groin or was aimed at an audience with an attention span of less than two seconds. It is a film that is, in the main, well acted and really well directed (i loved some of the camera angles). This is a gem that does not deserve the criticism or the low mark it gets here. I am sure it will gain cult status. Yes, it has its faults. Some of the scenes are uneven as is some of the acting from secondary characters (the director included) But the overall effect is to lift the soul....and that, sadly, is an increasingly rare event these days.

The Black Dahlia (2006)

dreadful dreadful dreadful

[1/10 · 4 September 2007]

one of the biggest waste of time i have EVER spent....over-acted, badly acted, confused and muddled plot, lines delivered as if the actors had only just learnt English. no one comes out of this melodramatic dross well. But some manage to plummet depths that do deserve mention. Fiona Shaw as the drunken mad mother of Hilary Swank delivers a performance so bad that frankly it defies believe. Josh Hartnett is totally wooden and relies on one expression....mild puzzlement (like someone has put something nasty in his coffee...oh if only i had the chance) for everything...and what in the name of God was Hilary Swank's accent supposed to be!!!

I have made a note of their names and i will be avoiding anything they do in the future and i suggest you do the same. this does not contain any spoilers....it would be impossible to "spoil" something this bad!!

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

how did this win anything?

[3/10 · 19 February 2007]

i have been racking my brains trying to figure out how this miserable piece of filming (like watching a unbelievably boring long version of Payton Place) about two totally unsympathetic characters ever got nominated let alone won any awards.

i have come up with a list...

a) it is about gay cowboys b) the music score is actually very nice c) it is about gay cowboys d) the scenery is fantastic e) it is about gay cowboys

and so on and so on....

the ONLY reason this got any publicity or noticed and the ONLY reason people have written here about what a great film it was, is because it broke new ground. it had gay cowboys in it.

if it had been about a male and female having a quick shag in the mountains and then having to keep there love secret, it would have been ignored...and rightly so

The Wedding Date (2005)

i want the time back i wasted watching this dire rubbish

[1/10 · 19 February 2007]

There have been so many many films based on the same theme. single cute girl needs handsome boy to impress ex, pays him and then (guess what?) she falls in love with him, there's a bit of fumbling followed by a row before everyone makes up before the happy ending......this has been done many times.

The thing is I knew this before starting to watch. But, despite this, I was still looking forward to it. In the right hands, with a good cast and a bright script it can still be a pleasant way to pass a couple of hours.

this was none of these.

this was dire.

A female lead lacking in charm or wit who totally failed to light even the slightest spark in me. I truly did not care if she "got her man" or remained single and unhappy.

A male lead who, after a few of his endless words of wisdom, i wanted to kill. Just to remove that smug look. i had no idea that leading a life of a male whore was the path to all-seeing all-knowing enlightenment.

A totally unrealistic film filled with unrealistic characters. none of them seemed to have jobs, all of them had more money than sense, a bridegroom who still goes ahead with his wedding after learning that his bride slept with his best friend....plus "i would miss you even if we had never met"!!!!! i could go on but i have just realised that i am wasting even more time on this dross.....I could rant about introducing a character just to have a very cheap laugh at the name "woody" but in truth that was the only remotely humorous thing that happened in the film.