Change Your Image
philliperry
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Lists
An error has ocurred. Please try againReviews
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Poor Quality
Like Book of Boba Fett, this show feels very poor quality compared to The Mandalorian and Andor. It also has some very lazy writing and plot devices, improbable things happening that the audience is just supposed to ignore. It feels like it was rushed and a lot of corners were cut. Ewan MacGregor is great - too good. He stands out like a sore thumb amongst the rest of the low-grade production. The production team, including MacGregor are all very proud of the fact that they "made the story about Kenobi and young Leia, when everyone thought it was going to be about Kenobi and young Luke". Did anyone think that's what the story would be about? I don't think it should've featured Leia OR Luke, as in A New Hope, Leia has never met him before and Luke is only kind of aware of him. The Lucasfilm story group once again showing their alarming lack of imagination and new ideas.
The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
Hugely Underwhelming
In this 7 part series, 2 of them are Mandalorian episodes. So really Boba Fett only gets 5 episodes. And 3 of those feel like filler. So basically Jon Favreau had this awesome character to do anything he wanted with, but couldn't think of much to do with him. Its a lot like the Lucasfilm story group not knowing what to do with Rey, Finn, Poe and Kylo after The Force Awakens. There seems to be a dire lack of imagination at that place. So to try and hide this lack of anything, story-wise, they hired Robert Rodriguez for 3 of the 5 Boba eps, in an attempt to mask it with action scenes. This is where the really went wrong. Rodriguez is more comparable here to Spy Kids, than Desperado. He just doesn't fit the Star Wars style. Any of the other Mando directors would've been better. Anyway, so Boba climbs out of the Sarlacc and then has a street fight with the Pikes, and there's some walking and talking in between. Vary lazy. Very underwhelming.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Totally Destroys The Sequel Trilogy
When I first watched this back in December, I thought it was much better than The Last Jedi. On the face of it, I still think it's a more entertaining film than its predecessor. But I've come to realise that The Last Jedi did actually do something that I didn't think Disney were brave enough to do - it took the story in an unexpected direction. Don't get me wrong, the Canto Bight story thread is appalling and Luke dying because he's used up his energy, force projecting himself, instead just going to Crate and dying for real, just sucks ass. But Rey discovering she is nobody and Kylo killing Snoke and becoming Supreme Leader was the right choice by Rian Johnson. And if Episode 9 had followed this story through, it would have been the epic conclusion we all wanted, and I strongly believe it would have made some of TLJ haters change their minds. Episode 9 should have been about Rey having to bring down Ben Solo, but being torn because of their love for eachother, but in the end he chooses the dark side and she has to kill him. You could still have the big space battle at the end, but you did not need a Snoke replacement.
And this is where Rise of Skywalker comes tumbling down. JJ Abrams, Kathleen Kennedy and Chris Terrio just went in the opposite direction. They decided, like with The Force Awakens, to play it safe and just remake Return of The Jedi. Of course the problem was Snoke was dead, so how would they remake the final stand off with Luke and The Emperor? - oh, I know, just bring The Emperor back and make out that he was pulling the strings all along. (A bit like Blofeld in Spectre - and hey, that also sucked). Oh and let's also throw in that Rey is Palpatine's granddaughter. She had to be related to someone, right? Well no, she didn't.
So, to sum up, because of Abrams total lack of imagination, Terrio's lazy 'no one will notice' style of writing and the strong, 'my way or the highway' Kathleen Kennedy, caving to unhappy fans, this film doesn't just suck, but it ruins the entire sequel trilogy. With a bit of imagination and some balls (you know, like George Lucas once had) this film could have made this trilogy amazing.
London Boulevard (2010)
Unbelievably Rubbish
This film is truly awful. Badly acted, Hollyoaks level direction, not even Hollyoaks level editing, but worst of all the script. Lets start with the 'star'. Colin Farrell's cockney accent sounds more South African. Was the director to scared to tell him its sounded wrong? The script feels like its written by a white supremacist who's never actually been to London, and thinks its still like it was in the 60's. So Farrell gets a job looking after a poor millionaire film star who doesn't like being snapped by the paps. Well boo-hoo. How are you supposed to give a toss about that? Ray Winstone says the 'C' word a lot. Wow. How edgy. Anyway, you get the idea. This film makes a Guy Ritchie film look like a masterclass in filmmaking. I guess the director has sucked all the right pricks.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
Wolverine Schmolverine.
I can't believe, after hearing Jackman saying so many times that this was his baby and how they wouldn't shoot the script until it was perfect, how bad it is. I find it really hard to believe that a ridiculously high paid, 'professional' writer wrote this. It is badly paced, it is a mish-mash of scenes which feel like they flipped a coin to see where to stick them, and it has far too many characters in it; and the man himself, The Wolverine, is actually a bit of a ponce. I was expecting to see Logan, a man full of uncontrollable rage and hate volunteer himself to the Weapon X programme to make himself even more badass. Instead it's about a simple man with beautiful thick hair, who loves his girlfriend very much, and has claws. And when they pretend to murder her, that makes him want revenge so he goes into the Weapon X programme. Then comes the crappest part of the inept script: I always thought Logan lost his memory during the operation. Well, they had to change that, cus, uhh, like if he loses his memory so early in the film, he won't remember to seek revenge. So lets just write something in at the end where if he gets shot with an adamantium bullet, he'll definitely lose his memory! WHAT? Basically this film concentrates about 50% on how sensitive Logan is, and 50% on 'cleverly' introducing loads of other X-Men characters that don't do much.
Jackman. I'm very disappointed. If you cut together the few seconds of flashbacks in X2 and watch them in sequence, you will get a far better Wolverine Origin film than this arse hole of a film.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
Don't kid Yourself - It's rubbish.
I don't like how the majority of people who have given this film a high vote say the same thing: 'As long as you go into the cinema expecting mindless entertainment, this film is great'. That's absolute crap. Is that the excuse people are going to give bad film these days? The fact is this film is terrible. The acting is atrocious from everyone; the CGI is on a par with the Star Wars Special Edition Jabba the Hutt (the '97 version); The best characters are under used (i.e Snake Eyes - not too mention his moulded lips that make him look like he's pouting all the time) and instead the 'star' of the show, Channing 'Dead-Behind-the-Eyes' Tatum gets all the frigging screen time. I'm sorry but this moron should be investigated by trading standards for calling himself an 'actor'. I suppose he's quite chavy though, so I expect he appeals to a lot of people here in the UK. The only reason I gave it 2 stars is because Levitt is great as Cobra Commander (ignoring all the Baroness / Duke sh*t) and Scarlett is a real beaut. This film proves once and for all the Steven Sommers truly is a talentless hack, who's tapped into a winning formula - Make films with big franchise titles and people will flock to see them, no matter how crap.
Buffalo '66 (1998)
An Unsung Masterpiece
This one of my favourite films. Each aspect of it is just right. Firsty the look of the film had really been thought about. The film stock it was shot on gives it a washed out graininess that really suits the story and the environment it is set in. The characters are brilliant. Yes, Billy Brown is an obnoxious bastard, but as the film unfolds it becomes clear this is just a front hiding his true child-like self. Christina Ricci is great, especially as this is in the pre boob-reduction period. And its good to see old classics getting cameos, such as Jan-Michael Vincent and Mickey Rourke (who couldn't get much work at the time). Its also brilliantly written - Billy's angry rants stealing the show, especially where he calls his best frind Goon an 'ugly retard'.
Superman Returns (2006)
Another $200million Down the Drain.
There's about 20 minutes of good stuff in this. The rest of it is dull and constrained by over-production. One thing that stood out to me were the Daily Planet scenes. In Superman and Superman II it felt more gritty and realistic and added a lot to the film. In this one it just feels like an expensive set. One year on and surprise surprise, the CGI has aged really badly. All the flying Superman shots just look like a playstation game. Cast wise, Brandon Routh is great. Spacey is OK, although his parts in the film are pretty crap. Bosworth is totally miscast. Too young, to girly, etc etc. I don't understand her casting at all. And the story with Lois's son has basically guaranteed a rubbish sequel too!
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Obi Wan's long hair is quite good.
It's 3 years since this came out now. Anakin has grown from a poncy, whining 8 year old, to a poncy whiney 19 year old. Obi Wan has grown his hair and Padme isn't as good as she was in Leon. The best bit is where Jango Fett headbutts MacGregor. I wanted to do the same. And there's a bit where Christopher Biggins as Count Dooku has a light sabre fight with a CGI Yoda, thats less photo-realistic than the one in the Clone Wars Animated Series. The thing that is most annoying is the romantic story between Anakin and Padme. It's such an important part of the entire saga, but only gets a few seconds here and there to develop. It seems it was more important to keep cutting to MacGregor talking to some more awful CGI 'characters', if you can call them that. It's okay though, because just when Padme has given Anakin, and the audience the feeling that he's barking up the wrong tree, she tells him she truly, deeply loves him. A classic bit of Lucas 'we've got to wrap this thing up' stuff. I have now sold my Clones and Menace DVD's on eBay, because now the actually rather good Sith is out on disc, these two are utterly pointless and unwatchable. Yes, UNWATCHABLE.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Is it good? Yes. Is it bad? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The first time I saw this flick, I came out of the cinema with the same disappointment I felt after seeing Menace for the first time. But on the second viewing, I realised I had gone in to it with my expectations too high. Why, after the last two films that I think are basically Universally accepted as poo? Watch Sith with no expectations, as millions did with Hope all those years ago, and you'll love it as I now do. Of course it has its unforgivable moments, such as the now infamous Vader 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!', which sounds like a spoof from the Simpsons, and plot holes bigger than Lucas's neck, but who cares? I expect the 'NOOOOOOOOOOOO' will be altered for the DVD anyway. It has its big dramatic scenes that match any of those from the original trilogy, e.g Yoda fighting the Emperor, Palpatine telling Anakin about the Sith, Mace Windu being killed, Anakin VS Obi Wan (if a little shorter than promised), the Jedi purge, Anakin becoming Vader (except 'NOOOOOOOOO' of course); and it has its nice little moments such as R2 setting two battle droids on fire, Yoda nearly being shot and dropping his cane, The Emperor grinning sadistically as Vader struggles to come to terms with Padme's apparent death - just before going 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' It also does something unusual for a Lucas directed film, it allows time in emotional scenes for you to feel those emotions, rather than quickly cutting away. For example, where Anakin stands alone, torn between doing what he's been told, or rescuing Palpatine from Windu in order to save Padme.
To put it simply, is it good? Yes. Is it bad? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.