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Reviews
El club de los lectores criminales (2023)
The Killer Movie Trope
Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, a smidge of Final Destination, and anything with the occasional livestream. I mean the main actor even sort of looks like Neve Campbell.
But it knows what it is, it's not too long, nods to a bunch of classics, and I didn't mind it - they even talk about what plagiarism is so it's more self aware than what people give credit in the reviews. Is it great? No. Is it dumb fun? Pretty much.
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Did anyone else get major Billy Loomis and Amber Freeman vibes from the casting? Also two killers? Best part about this movie is knowing you will go back to back the Scream franchise.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
I don't think the fans are serviced.
I heard there were a lot of easter eggs, but unfortunately you can't build a movie on that. It was so slow to get moving and while the actors threw a lot at it you just didn't connect with the characters.
Honestly I just wanted it to be over.
The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)
Overrated
Unfortunately this one had been really hyped up, like Midsommar which I was also disappointed in. I don't mind a slow burn, but this burn felt lethargic.
Honestly I just spent most of the movie being annoyed at how dumb everyone was when it came to religion (which was the point given the setting), but the "resolution" felt too short and undercooked.
Great White (2021)
Not bad not good?
I was rooting for the shark at the end because they used a lot of video of real sharks. Acting was mostly pretty good, Te Kohe Tuhaka was the stand out, but just a bit slow paced.
The Stand (2020)
By itself...
The series isn't bad... if you don't compare it to the book, which is AMAZING and nothing like the series. Read the book guys.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
Unexpected scares
Honestly got more freaked out by this than I really should have, not the bubblegum Goosebumps horror that I was expecting.
They Reach (2020)
Better than expected!
Honestly went into this one with low expectations but it was pretty good! The kids are great and the comedy/ horror elements work well together. Coming-of-age tale with demons.
2067 (2020)
Redeemed by the last 30 seconds.
Also for the people saying the acting was bad, it really wasn't. Honestly too much crying, but that's a directing call.
The Walking Dead: World Beyond (2020)
Honestly not as bad as the reviews
I'm pretty sure one of my lockdown hobbies has been "disappointed by zombie movies" and this isn't one of those. Yes it's kids and yes you just want them to actually be able to stab something in the head, but I'll keep watching.
Silent Night, Zombie Night (2009)
I'm down with B grade horrors but...
This was all around rubbish. Writing, acting, SFX, filming, just so D grade.
The Final Storm (2010)
2 different stories
There's the main plot about "the stranger" and then there's the apocalypse plot. Which basically gets completely forgotten about. Pick one, because they clearly couldn't manage two.
Xibalba (2017)
Sooo slooow
Literally nothing happens for the first 1hr 10. And it doesn't really improve the movie when it does.
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)
Honestly I just missed the zombies
I was a big fan of the series, but this was a pretty messy end. Still watchable but a bit lost.
Alarmed (2014)
Honestly not dreadful
Fairly well acted B grade movie. Has a few interesting twists but not overly amazing.
Zombie with a Shotgun (2019)
Just awful all round
Absolute crap. I got half way through, nothing had happened apart from some dreadful acting, terrible writing and super awkward sex scenes. Don't waste your time.
Christmas on the Bayou (2013)
Role reverse this movie & tell me it's so sweet
"Single successful Mum needs her life fixed".
Really?
Jeruzalem (2015)
Had potential
Always good to see a travel-based horror... but nothing happens in the first half. Stuff happens in the second half but it's disjointed and obvious. POV worked, unfortunately it was on the wrong person, she was super annoying.
100% Hotter (2016)
You don't conform
Hi, you don't look like society says you should look so let's make you look conformist. Also we don't care about how your feelings while we do this.
Haunted: Ward of Evil (2019)
"Real" stories... yeh right
"I had scratches all over my back" "I looked like I'd been stabbed with an ice pick". Righto love, let's see the scars then... C'mon Netflix, just call it fiction rather than pretend they're real stories.
Daybreak (2019)
Have a few drinks first...
It's no Romero, but have a few and expect some cheesiness and it's fun.
Stasis (2017)
Could've been good
I mean, they tried I guess. Good (but not original) concept, but straight up god awful acting, plus if you chuck a grown up in a 15 yr old's body there would probably a heap less eye-rolling at the Mum character.
Lower than a B Grade movie. Not much action.
Hellboy (2019)
Strangely disjointed
It had all the elements of a decent movie but weirdly was very disjointed. Even the music reflected this - great soundtrack but disjointed cuts. Ian McShane was obviously great, David Harbour was a good Hellyboy (but no Ron Perlman) and the story was mostly there... but just not enough.
Rim of the World (2019)
Meh, but the kids are alright
It was fine, but those kids are great, I hope they get a better opportunity!
Rise of the Zombie (2013)
Literally THE WORST zombie movie ever
And I've seen most of them. This was truly abysmal - terrible writing, bad acting, and it was absolutely so boring.
Don't even think about bothering, it's horrific.
The Cured (2017)
Unique angle, a little slow
But you sort of expect it to be slow when it's about the clean up.
This is a rarely explored side of the zombie apocalypse, and it is well written, well acted, and well thought out. If you're in it for the rush and the gore it won't be your thing, but if you've watched every zombie movie under the sun like I have this is a fresh take.