DiamondOzMU Reviews

Matinee (1993)

I can't believe I'd never heard of it before!

[8/10 · 26 March 2023]

I found this film on Mubi and thought, "Could be fun." Imagine my surprise when I was treated to one of the most fun movies I've seen for a while.

John Goodman, always good, sometimes excellent, is at his best here, playing the shlock master who combines the knowledge of hustling with the imagination of his young audience. He's supported by the wonderfully cynical Cathy Moriarty, Star Trek: Voyager's Robert Picardo as the jittery cinema manager and a surprisingly talented group of child actors, of which Lisa Jakub is the standout.

What's truly amazing about this movie is that while it's something of an homage and nostalgia trip to the days of old, it's become quite nostalgic by its own film making. I watched Matinee and remembered being a kid in the nineties, fascinated by movies and having tremendous fun watching them, something I don't think kids today get to experience much, which is a real shame.

Joe Dante has made so many wonderful films over the years and this one seems to be overlooked, as people tend to point towards Gremlins, The Howling or Piranha instead, all of which are a lot of fun in their own right. Matinee easily deserves to be in the same sentence though and personally, it may be my favourite film of his!

Censor (2021)

Niamh Algar is incredible

[7/10 · 20 March 2023]

The premise of setting of Censor was very appealing based on personal viewing habits and interests so I was very keen to see this.

Niamh Algar gives an amazing performance as. Enid, the professional with a stern view on how much is too much when it comes to horror films. After being blamed for a horrific incident, the ensuing media frenzy begins to shred her mental health, which coupled with a traumatic past, turns the once diligent. Enid into a terrified mess.

There are some solid performances throughout, but Algar really is the star of the show, putting in the kind of harrowing performance which earned Morfydd Clark such praise for Saint Maud. Indeed, parallels can be drawn between the two films in a few ways, but each are made so entertaining by the performances of their extremely talented leads.

If you remember, or have an interest in the days when Mary Whitehouse was all over the TV, lecturing the nation on what they should watch, you'll be intrigued by this film, which does feature a few clips from the video nasties of the time.

Aqua Teen Forever: Plantasm (2022)

Laugh count: Once

[5/10 · 14 January 2023]

Like so many others, I've been a fan of Aqua Teen since the 2000s and was thrilled when this movie was announced. Unfortunately, the result was very disappointing.

The plot is certainly more focused than the previous outing, which while not perfect, retained the show's humour perfectly. This time, the audience receives a more linear story parodying the unlikable tech moguls we know and endure today, but the satire itself doesn't have much else to say other than pointing to the obvious faults and misdeeds these real life supervillains commit.

The classic characters are still very much themselves, particularly Meatwad, who is as naïve and innocent as ever. Peter Serafinowicz, an amazing impressionist and hilarious performer, is used for little more than a very good Robert Downey Jr. Mimic, which was a bit of a waste of such talent. Longtime fans may also be disappointed by the lack of favourites such as The Plutonians and The Cybernetic Ghost Of Christmas Past, who provided the show and previous film with some hysterical moments. Instead we receive a very dull villain sidekick in Elmer, the flat Japongaloids and Fraptaculans and the forgettable co-workers of Frylock.

While it was nice to see these characters again and not feel like soulless nostalgia such as Han Solo in The Force Awakens, they could and should have been used better, or at least be given better dialogue. Ultimately, I still want more Aqua Teen but not if it's as dreary as this sad, wet fart of a return.

Here Comes Hell (2019)

A passable pastiche

[4/10 · 24 May 2022]

Here Comes Hell isn't the most entertaining film of all time, but it's far from the worst as some people in this section have claimed. After taking a while to get going, it offers some fun takes on horror tropes with a few laughs here and there, especially when it comes to the visuals. Margaret Clunie is the standout performer in the film, though I wouldn't say any of them are particularly bad.

Anyone expecting another Evil Dead or early Peter Jackson film is going to be disappointed, but then, anyone expecting that from any horror comedy is going to be disappointed. That being said, I don't think I've ever seen a film with a dinosaur for a hand before.

At an hour and fifteen minutes, it's hardly a big waste of time. It's also hardly entertaining but there's something endearing about this film that stopped me from disliking it completely, let alone hating it, but I doubt I'll re-watch it.

Us (I) (2020)

Drab, predictable and frustrating.

[1/10 · 20 September 2020]

If you've ever watched anything about middle aged and middle class British people, you've already seen this before. The show offers very little to like, much less be excited by, with the worst offenders being the family themselves. Douglas in particular, may remind the viewer of someone they know, but no one they like. Teenage son Albie is basically Harry Enfield's Kevin character, minus the jokes. The one shining light is Thaddea Graham, who plays travelling musician Kat and offers the only glimpse of anyone whose favourite colour isn't beige.

Even if a main character isn't the most fun person in the story, they should be the most interesting. If they're not, why should the reader or viewer stick with them? Because the main characters are so dull and cliche, everything they do is telegrammed to the audience before it happens, which makes for frustrating viewing as nothing comes as a surprise or is even entertaining, much less fun.

Fahrenheit 451 (2018)

I did a little experiment...

[3/10 · 9 August 2020]

This was on TV only a few days after my copy of the book arrived, so I decided to try something, namely reading the book then watching this film in the same weekend.

There are already a hundred (or two hundred and five) reviews pointing out how different this film is from the book so I won't dwell on that. I don't have a problem with a few changes being made for the screen (in my opinion Blade Runner is a lot better than Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? for example) but at the same time, changing too much can butcher the story's message. Subsequently, this film ends up being more of a third rate 1984 and it's even worse at being Fahrenheit 451.

Clarisse, as one might expect, has been transformed into a cliched love interest, possessing none of the wonder and charm her brief time as a physical character portrays in the novel. This is made all the sadder by the fact that she's played by Sofia Boutella, arguably the breakout actress of the last five years who possessed a wealth of talent. As for other performances, Michael B. Jordan is a complete flatline barely worth commenting on, while Michael Shannon is suitably menacing, but still feels miscast despite the actor turning in a good effort. Someone with a little more warmth to them would have suited Beatty's character more, considering Montag initially believes him to be a great friend.

Judged on its own merits, it still falls flat. It's a boring, over simplified dirge which attempts some visual flair by ripping off Nicolas Winding Refn's style, without the subtext which makes his approach work. It disregards the theme of anti-intellectualism for anti censorship and even saying that is being generous.

To adapt a book so sure and clear about what it is, into meandering slop like this is at best tremendously lazy. It's a rambling stoner trying to explain their half baked philosophy and forgetting the point they were trying to make. In short, it's a mess.

Wasp Network (2019)

A well balanced report

[8/10 · 2 July 2020]

Anyone who has seen previous works from Olivier Assayas, particular the Carlos the Jackal trilogy (which also starred the excellent Edgar Ramirez) will have an idea as to what to expect from Wasp Network. He has a talent for displaying the appeal and the detriments of political views outside of the Western norm and as a result has crafted another well balanced piece on a controversial subject. This movie's IMDB score will probably never reflect its quality, as some people seem to have taken it upon themselves to downvote it over political differences. If they bothered to view the film, they would find a movie with a stellar cast who all put in great performances (it's honestly hard to pick one standout,) along with beautiful cinematography and a frank showcase for something much of the world may not know about. A story which shows the bravery of some and the cowardice of others, though I'll let you decide who falls on which side.

3 from Hell (2019)

Not Rob Zombie's worst, but not a worthy sequel to his best

[5/10 · 2 June 2020]

When I was a kid, I used to write stories for fun. At about eight, I decided to write a "story for grown ups" which meant I loaded it with swear words. My dad might not have been impressed, but evidently Rob Zombie was because he seems to have adapted it into 3 From Hell.

This film has been getting a lot of flack from fans and critics which is not undeserved, however it might be a little better than suggested.

To use the bad news/good news tactic, I'll start with the problems. Immediately, the writing sticks out. This may in fact have the worst dialogue of any movie I've seen, at least in recent years. It consists mostly of MF in every other sentence, including the news segments and while I don't have a problem with swearing, especially in a grizzly horror film, you have to know how to use it. There's a difference between people who sound cool doing it and an eight year old thinking it's clever. Secondly, the character of Baby has been ruined. While she's always been over the top, there was at least an understanding of the craziness and troubles of her psyche, whereas this time, she's almost always shrieking and is boiled down to a one dimensional parody of her former self. As for the plot, it borrows heavily from The Devil's Rejects, only with none of the nuance or intricacies. Add a little Texas Chainsaw Massacre ending and even a bit of Natural Born Killers and what you have is an unoriginal slog, with very little to invest in.

It's not all bad however. Unlike some of Rob Zombie's other films, there's at least a cohesive plot, even if, as previously stated, it's not very good. Setting the final part in Mexico was an interesting idea, even if the design was all wrong and it felt like a rehash of TDR, where in the main characters visit Ken Foree's place. The Mexican gang looked kind of cool, even if the motivation felt tacked on and they named themselves after parody metal band The Black Satans. Bill Moseley can still pull off Otis, even if not as endearing as the previous outing and Richard Brake is a fantastic addition, who has always been reliable for good performances. Even his brief scene in Mandy made him stand out. I also thoroughly enjoyed Pancho Moler, who played perhaps the only character with an ounce of humanity.

Overall, it's watchable, but annoying. The magic of The Devil's Rejects was that three despicable people became not just likeable, but human, despite their gruesome actions. In this, most of the characters are either pastiches, clichés or at best, bad cartoon characters.

What started out as a promising new career for Rob Zombie has spiraled into an embarrassing one. From The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto onwards, his films have been messy, poorly written, weak attempts to follow in the steps of directors he clearly he enjoys and while I do rate 3 From Hell higher than 31 and much higher than The Lords Of Salem, it's hardly a triumphant return to form. Considering Lionsgate apparently planned to shut down the film if Sid Haig wasn't in it, it seems like studios are beginning to lose faith in him too. If accomplished film makers like Jon Waters and John Carpenter have had a lot of trouble with securing funding for their projects, then I expect it won't be long until Rob Zombie does find himself in the company of revered directors, only not in the way he'd want.

Death from Above (2012)

To be fair, what were you expecting?

[2/10 · 21 May 2020]

I became aware of this film after seeing clips on an episode of OSW Review. The appeal of the film begins and ends with; There's loads of wrestlers in it. Kurt Angle gets the most screen time as one would expect, but James Storm is also given a prominent role. It's a very slow, quiet film, which serves better as an ad for the natural beauty to be found in Pittsburgh than it does as a horror film. Kurt Angle is the only wrestler in the film who doesn't just play himself and as a result, ODB works the best out of all the cameos as a straight talking liquor store owner.

The novelty of wrestlers aside, the film has horrendous dialogue, stiff acting and a weak plot which fails to interest. I will say this though, I don't think I've ever seen a truck montage before...