Change Your Image
hat_city
Reviews
Logan (2017)
Yet another empty, depressing failure of an X-Men movie
This movie takes place in an alternate universe, where somebody (probably Apocalypse) has unleashed a terrible radiation on planet Earth, turning all of its inhabitants into total morons and losers. So, if you're interested in seeing your favorite X-Men heroes totally humiliate themselves and literally act like they are mentally retarded, then go ahead and watch this movie.
You will see the incredible X-Men reduced to swearing, bickering, tantrum-throwing teenagers, shopping in an indoor mall, then sitting around in their hotel room and watching crappy reruns on TV. No joke, that all really happens in this movie.
As usual, it hurts me very deeply to see my favorite childhood heroes utterly humiliated and destroyed by Hollywood. The underlying message of this movie seems to be that the Age of Heroes is dead. There is no beauty left in the world, no hope, no shining intelligent ideas or dreams. That has all been replaced by shallow, empty scriptwriters and greedy, ruthless movie producers. So watch this movie and say goodbye to your childhood heroes on more time, because (as usual in these terrible X-Men movies) they all die.
They Live (1988)
A Beautiful, Must-See Cult Classic
I love this movie. It is a timeless classic. The signature 1980's dark comedy is so refreshing, especially in this new millennium of political correctness and Hollywood censorship.
Anyone who hasn't yet seen this movie should go out and get a copy right away. It may just change your life. The world keeps turning, the decades pass, but there are some facts of life in American society that have remained the same: The oppression and manipulation of the 99%, the parasitic elite, the poor dupes in the police force who don't realize who their masters really are, the call to arms for anyone on this planet who still has a human heart to stand up and do something about it. The central message of this movie is timeless and beautiful.
I also love the grotesqueness of it. It shows through very clearly, from beneath the sugar coating of dark comedy sprinkled throughout the movie. The poverty, homelessness, the Reaganvilles, police brutality, the cowardice and selfishness of humanity that prevents us from simply doing the right thing, the crushing weight of a nationwide system designed to keep us in line, keep us ignorant, divided and weak...
I'm a big fan of John Carpenter's movies, and this one is one of the best.
King Arthur (2004)
Terrible movie.
Usually with a movie as terrible as this one, I don't even bother leaving a review. But this movie has such an unfairly high rating that I wanted to do my share to bring it back down to the reality: this movie deserves a solid 1/10.
I think the image that sums it up best, the tragic loss of brain cells and the spiritual degradation that this movie inflicts on its viewers, is this: Keira Knightley, in a medieval bikini, leading an army of one-dimensional 'good guys' against an army of one-dimensional 'bad guys'.
There, that's all you need to know. I suppose there is some historic value to this movie - I don't mean the story of King Arthur though, which this movie shamelessly butchers. What I mean is that this movie might illustrate very clearly the moment that Keira Knightley's career as a respected actress came to an end.
RoboCop (2014)
A Decent Movie in its Own Right
Now I understand that a lot of people feel upset about how this remake departed from the original. After all, the original Robocop was a masterpiece. The dark comedy, the violence, the 1980's.... no remake could ever recreate that. After all, we're not living in the 1980's anymore.
But thanks to other people's scathing reviews, I approached this movie with low expectations and I was actually very pleasantly surprised. While the dark comedy aspect of Robocop is very much toned down in the remake, and yes the weepy family moments are a little overdone (and that's why I don't give it 10 stars), I think this movie still maintains a lot of good qualities.
Example: in the original Robocop, the battle scenes were actually very disappointing. They involved Robocop lumbering slowly through a warehouse, full of guys just standing there unloading their AK's at him to no avail. He shot them down one by one, and nobody ever grew a brain and realized their rifles were no use. But in the remake, I think the gunfights were a lot more realistic. The new Robocop is fast and agile, and also vulnerable to gunfire. He doesn't just stand there stupidly and let bullets bounce off of him, he ducks and weaves and takes cover, gets hit occasionally and actually gets hurt from it. So in that sense I'd say the remake improved on the original.
Also, the evil Omnicorp is as evil as ever, albeit in a flashy 21st century kind of way. The sinister 1980's businessmen in suits have been replaced with soulless, clever Steve Jobs types, which I found to be a pleasing illustration of how the corporate scumbag class has evolved over the past 30+ years.
There's also the deep-rooted corruption within the police force and within Corporate America that lies at the root of all evil, and Robocop wants more than anything to root it out. But his programming does not allow him to do so. That, I believe, is the central message of the original Robocop that has been preserved in the remake. I think the movie would have been an absolute fail if they tried to erase that central message.
So all in all, this remake has been adapted for the 21st century audience, for better or for worse. I think they did a really good job, all things considered. My only real complaint is that the dark comedy was removed, presumably to reach a wider audience. Because of that flaw, I give it 7/10 stars.
Saat po long (2005)
Prepare to be Disappointed
I can't believe how misleading the reviews for this movie are! Everyone's just going on and on about how awesome and action packed it is.... Well, I got news for you: this movie is Terrible. Tortuously slow and boring. Horrible acting. Way too much tear-jerking, male bonding, and violin music. And the terrible dialogue just keeps going!!! It never ends!! I kept checking the time and thinking "Oh my God, it's only been 30 minutes??" And it never, ever gets better.
The only good fight scene is in the last 15 minutes of the film, Donnie Yen vs. Sammo Hung. Do yourself a favor and just look up the fight scene on youtube. Even then, don't expect it to be an amazing fight. All in all, this movie was a huge disappointment and a total waste of an evening.
Vikings (2013)
The word "Raunchy" comes to mind
First of all, I'm a big fan of vikings and of historical fiction in general. What I love about this show is seeing the viking age come to life: seeing crews sailing in the longboats; everyone celebrating in the great hall; seeing what a hard winter is like and the kind of gnarly dried fish they'd have to eat when times were hard... This show does a very good job of reconstructing the buildings, clothing, lifestyle, societal structure, farming methods, etc. of the viking age. That's why I watch this show.
I wish I could give this show a 10 out of 10, just for that. But on top of the historically accurate backdrop, the director has added a story-line that I think is just absolutely idiotic. It's the kind of story-line that the market analysts have obviously had a hand in creating. They must have a little list of "shockers" and "oh-no-they-didn't"s that the marketing department has brainstormed, and they're cramming them into this show in a pathetic effort to raise the ratings.
For example: every episode seems to have at least one sex scene. Now I have nothing against sex scenes, don't get me wrong. But the panting and the nudity and the kissing is only interesting to me if there is some interesting **context** behind it. Some of the sex scenes in this show are literally just casual conversations that could have taken place anywhere, but they have to take place during an obligatory sex scene because the episode didn't have any nudity in it yet. There's even a sex scene in this show that takes place when two viking enemies meet face to face in private. One says, "yo I'd love to bang you right now" and his mortal enemy, a woman replies "okay, but just remember that I hate you and I'm going to kill you one day. If you accept that, I guess we might as well turn this into a raunchy sex scene." There's other raunchy "oh-no-they-didn't"s in this show as well. Like one scene where a viking guy is masturbating while spying on a girl in the bathtub. Or the time the friggin Queen reveals she's a nympho and all the soldiers come into the royal chamber for a gangbang. Or the time one of the main antagonists reveals to a woman he's into bondage, and they get out the whips and chains. I don't know, maybe I'm strange for not thinking all of that is awesome. I just found it all so unoriginal, so boring. If I had seen this show when I was 13, I would have enjoyed it a lot more probably.
But unfortunately, I'm not 13 anymore, and neither is anyone I know. So even though I would love to share my viking enthusiasm with my girlfriend, my family and friends, and my children, I can't. I will never buy this show on DVD and keep it in my home. So it looks like Vikings has shot itself in the foot, trying so hard to get high ratings in the short term, that they have ruined their show in the long term.
Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
I am pumped!!!!!
Wow, I was very pleasantly surprised with this one! Does anyone get the feeling that what's happening in this movie closely resembles what's happening in real life? Maybe I should lay off the DMT for a while.
Tom Cruise has been reborn and redeemed as a respectful actor. I love watching the progression of who Cruise is as this movie unfolds.
A note to the developers of the sequel: PLEASE don't make the sequel a half-baked shoot 'em up. What made this movie awesome was NOT the guns and explosions. It never is! It does help a bit. But the true genius of this movie lies in the plot. The character development. The exploration of different variables when applied to that certain quality the alien race possesses. Please keep the sequel intelligent, and I will continue to give you my money.
Thank you for a great film!
Predators (2010)
hugely disappointing
It has finally happened: I was so angered and fired up by this terrible let-down of a movie that I finally registered an IMDb account to tell you about it.
I don't understand how there can be so much debate about this, or how this movie could have such a high rating. I have a suspicion that 20th Century Fox has paid off IMDb to put a good review and a good rating on the front page for this movie. I'm seriously going to think twice before trusting IMDb ratings after this one.
This movie played out like a bad episode of a cheap sci-fi show. The characters were all 1-dimensional stereotypes that we've seen a thousand times before: the token fat guy, the token black guy, the token strong and independent woman, TWO token comic relief characters, including a token racist/idiot white guy...
The script, action sequences, plot, everything is so extremely predictable that I wasn't even slightly entertained. Luckily I use VLC so I could watch this movie at 150% its original speed to get through it.
There's not much else to say that hasn't already been said about this movie. It's simply a huge disappointment, and I strongly warn predator fans against watching this. But I guess if you're a true predator fan you're going to have to go through with it anyways. I guess that's what they were banking on when they made this movie. Just one more terrible rehash of a great original.
1/10.