Sobertoaster-764-479561 Reviews

Lord of Misrule (2023)

Really bad, only redeeming quality is the cinematography/imagery in a few scenes.

[3/10 · 25 April 2024]

I don't think there was a single character that acted like a normal human being in this whole film. The plot twist was they were all aliens right? I mean it was obvious from the fifteen minute mark that the entire town was "in on it" when it comes to the weird harvest god cult thing. Like painfully obvious and in your face. So the town was so blatantly unconcerned and seemed happy, even the husband (who I almost thought was in on it) seemed totally unconcerned with his daughter's disappearance. So we just have scene after scene of "That's weird. Woah, that's weird. Ahhh, that's weird. Wow-ee, that's weird, hey you catching on that they are all in the cult yet bozo? The children being indoctrinated from a young age with "nature club" or whatever, them all berating her, a very clear "us and them" type scene, obviously if it's all the children it's all the adults too, but we figured that out like 40 minutes ago at this point didn't we? I mean just really on the nose indications that the town is all together and the protagonists are the outsiders, The same scene rehashed essentially over and over up until the end finale leads to a boring movie. There is already a dozen or so movies that are this same plot that do it better. Would rather watch Midsommar or even the scarecrow episode of Supernatural...

Knock at the Cabin (2023)

Really lacking suspense, action, good dialogue... anything

[2/10 · 8 April 2024]

Really not much to like, Story is pretty face value, assumed what the "intruders" were saying was true the entire time, especially after they sacrifice themselves to prove it, kind of makes one of the protagonist's theories fall flat early in the movie, that they were targeted, it was a planned attack on them etc. What was the reveal, what was of interest? That the four people were like... the four horsemen or something? Wow brilliant... snore.

Move may as well just be white text on a black screen that reads... 2+2=4?

*an hour passes*

Yes, 2+2=4.

I mean why not? The suspense was hardly there considering the people meant them no immediate harm, they didn't even show most of the violence if your into that, the dialogue was lacking nothing to really remember or quote or anything, and the story was actually extremely simple with really no twist at all, was that a twist? The whole thing took place in a little cabin with a limited cast as well. Movie was a bit insulting really, not sure who this was made for, the director or the audience. I feel like this movie was made just to make a fast buck or something with a limited budget? I don't know.

No One Will Save You (2023)

Very pleasant surprise

[8/10 · 29 September 2023]

This one just came out of nowhere on hulu it feels like. I think the minimal dialogue totally works for the film. The main actress did a good job performing this role. But what I particularly liked was the feeling captured by the antagonist. It's a bit hard too describe what I mean but I will try.

It feels like they took the idea of the old aliens from pop culture, where you would iconically hear a theremin playing as the saucer slowly drifts down to the surface through some fog on your black and white tube TV. Mars Attacks comes to mind as a movie that tried to play on this, or the sort of almost whimsy and intrigue that movies such as Close Encounters of the Third Kind had with the mothership communication and how it was reminiscent of the playing the game simon. But that said, No One Will Save You launched that basic old-school vibe of aliens and kind of placed it in the new era of film, darker, fast, and in some scenes downright creepy and vicious looking. Still laden with mystery and intrigue, but the way they move, what they might be thinking or saying, what they want etc was all very interesting on top of the basic "thriller" plot of it. No One Will Save You was just so good at conveying that otherworldly, unpredictable and mysterious antagonist in this film. That really set in a part from just a basic "bad thing trying to get you!"

The real brilliant part of the film was just the play on suspense and relief, like a well made attraction or rollercoaster at an amusement park, the movie did an excellent job of being suspenseful and thrilling but also giving you those moments of pause and relief, and in some cases actual comic relief, without it becoming an actual comedy. It was so masterfully done when it comes to just the "ride" of it, the funhouse nature that a horror or thriller film should have, that acts like another layer of a film in itself apart from just dialogue or basic plot or theme. The pacing and this use of suspense and relief I would argue was top tier.

The use of some periodic physical humor as well referring back to the last point, was very tastefully done in my opinion. Not too much to turn the whole thing into a big joke or a comedy, but enough to really make the film feel dynamic and not flat in theme or emotional tone. The scene with the antagonist chasing the protagonist viscously, but then moving slowly through the iconic foggy abduction beam/light towards her, to stop, and almost do a little whimsical bug-like jig making intricate arm gestures, and voicing indecipherable alien noises/speak. As she slowly creeps away to another room while the alien is doing this and starts closing the door, you see the alien bolt towards her again through the crack and burst it's arm through the door violently like the game was back on now.

Monument (I) (2018)

Obvious and cliche ending

[1/10 · 27 August 2023]

With no real point to anything prior, everything that happens is totally inconsequential the entire film other than for the sake of a character delivering a line so the movie has some form of dialogue, or trying to film a semi artsy shot with OOOH shadows, ohhhh decrepit concrete halls and rooms, ooohh metal. Films similar have been done a hundreds of times but done better with more artistic vision, more interesting characters, more symbolism, more twists and turns. No plot whatsoever, no good character development. No likeable characters. Watch people do chores for the duration of the movie in a hotel having little boring conversations periodically while knowing "this is symbolic or something right?" with no discernable payoff or meaning. My absolute least favorite type of film, some sort of abstract allegory or metaphor piece, that doesn't even make sense, like watching a toddler trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. I don't even think it was that deep though I simply think they wanted to just do a visual style/aesthetic and fill everything else in along the way. An extremely frustrating film, but not even in a "hurts so good" type of way, there are better movies for that feeling as well.

Head Count (2018)

Started SO good then kind of dropped the ball...

[6/10 · 7 August 2023]

The last third of the movie or so just kind of dropped the subtle eerie thing they were doing up to that point and it just got so absurd. Really like the premise of you don't know who it's imitating. But instead of creating more eerie scenes with characters acting "off" and weird, or seeing them then seeing them somewhere else, trying to figure out who it's imitating or whatever.

THEN it just go off the rails, they go this weird ritual self delete route where the alien-esque monster makes them all off themselves and disappear into some nether realm or something? And it's obsessed with the number five... for like no reason whatsoever at least that I could figure out. It's just annoying that it wasn't even attempted explained. The corny'ness really comes out the last act. Not sure how I would have made it better if writing it personally, but I just had this strong feeling like... darn, this could have been so much better... Like we got the duplicate house across the ritual line, but nothing was explored with that element, maybe the character could have ran to the other one and saw all the friends again.. then, I don't know.. just kind of buzzkill ending.

Old Man (2022)

Been done to death already and much better

[1/10 · 30 July 2023]

Honestly there really is just nothing redeeming about the movie to me. It's super boring, hardly any characters, the dialogue isn't particularly interesting. This idea has been done so many times I just don't see why they felt the need to even make this like it's going to be something new or interesting. The way the character talked throughout the movie also annoyed me, sometimes he talks almost normal and sometimes he talks like *director shouting* "give me hobbley old hillbilly man" like you could see the Actor Stephen Lang acting, and not see the actual character in the movie. He looked too good honestly even with the stupid big onesie on, looked too ripped for this character. This isn't meant to bash the actor, I think they saw him in Don't Breath and thought woah this guy will be perfect. The only thing is in that movie he actually was meant to be formidable not some withering away old-timer drinking moonshine to death.

The story was too simplistic and basic and again done a million times before to even care about or find interesting. Brings nothing new to the table whatsoever, it's just been done before and done better with a more coherent and engaging top layer.

Lucky (IV) (2020)

very on the nose, but also confusing...?

[3/10 · 28 July 2023]

Like a bull in china shop on the nose, Immediately you understand that none of this is really happening after the first break in and the odd dialogue which is incredibly telling that there is some sort of meaning or message here. The thing about this type of storytelling is you don't have to have anything be coherent and it's IMO a lazy style of writing. Art comes in many forms and some may appreciate this style, but I hate in a movie when I get a hint of "this isn't real, this is in the characters mind" therefore nothing has to adhere to any real logic and it just adheres to its own "meaning" and symbolism for the sake of that and that alone, which IMO could work but absolutely MUST deliver, not only in substance but also aesthetically. I would argue overly symbolic and allegoric films rely both on style and substance greatly, even more so than a traditional story, which make them very hard films to pull off as a director or writer.

The film partially does deliver on this front in my opinion but wasn't strong enough to carry it. The shots were overall good, the scenes with the misplaced and odd dialogue were interesting and intriguing until they weren't, until it was, again, way too in your face and on the nose, to where I'm going "Ok ok I get it already this isn't a REAL conversation"... well, maybe I get it...

The message was what now? Another character refers to the night in the parking garage when she heard a woman screaming but ignored it. This reflected on the character's stance/dialogue of "going it alone", being independent etc, lead me to believe it's about speaking out, not having to "do it alone", and helping each other, especially against violence against women. Almost like she is in a nightmare because she didn't help a woman in need in the parking garage. (I get it I get it, the woman could have just represented HER, or ANY woman, at least I think I do). I was almost expecting something to really come out of that idea though, like a woman was attacked and nobody was around to hear it other than the main character, and if only she would have helped she could have maybe saved a woman in need from getting assaulted or being killed or something, and maybe this is some sort of... purgatory? ... Nope, didn't get that.

The weird thing is, then it's introduced this... I don't know if you could call it a sub-plot or sub-point or whatever, how she cheated on her husband, and a lot of the movie made sense in that regard as well. How she doesn't feel safe in her own home, how she is constantly being attacked, it used to be a safe place now it's a constant battle with her husband, with herself etc. How eventually the "killer" which I also assumed represented HER due to various parts of the movie (passing out in the same pose as him in a scene, fighting with a knife and getting a knife cut etc.) Then the "killer" literally stabs him in the back near the end of the film when she is embracing him, which is IMO extremely on the nose how she stabbed him in the back right? By cheating on him?

I don't know, seems like jumbled mess that didn't want to stick to one real point or theme and we get this kind of mish-mash of "nothing is really happening, nothing is really real" nonsense that is supposed to be deep but ends up not really saying much of anything. I basically got that she was attacking herself by betraying her husbands trust and stabbing him in the back...But then I get the whole violence against women thing and how it can be daunting to go through the system, frustrating, how abuse can be normalized etc.

Seemed to have two main ideas, but they didn't really work well together in a cohesive way, but to not have the two different points would have lead to an even more on the nose and boring preachy allegoric film where nothing needs to adhere to any real logic.

I don't know maybe I just kind of hate too heavy handed allegorical style films, didn't like "Mother" either which the style reminded me a lot of. I think filming something to be an allegory needs to really not be heavy handed to the point of the story is lost in the allegory and not the other way around, It still should be good on it's surface, with that extra brilliant/interesting layer underneath the viewer can examine the meaning on that semiotic layer IN ADDITION to the surface level story. Of which kind of gives that type of film the texture, depth/breadth of a successful allegorical style film.

Again, some may love it, to me it was too "bull in a china shop" clumsy to work on both levels, the semiotic level works best when there is an extremely solid and clear story/character/dialogue foundation in which it's built IMO. If that's not the case the house of cards comes crumbling down.

Baskin (2015)

Visuals were cool, atmosphere was great but...

[4/10 · 23 June 2023]

Got a bit of character development in the beginning.

Theeeen, kind of boring.

Then it picks up a bit like a gory Hellraiser haunted house about half-way.

The main character is some sort of Matrix chosen one who can see ghosts or see through time or something. And his cop-daddy was like Morpheus or something. He gave him the key from his ughh... neck... to jam it into the Hellraiser demon guy's head to unlock the... nightmare? So he got unlocked out of the other-dimension nightmare and because he has some sort of time-sight superpower or something he could travel back in time out of the house or something. Then got hit by the van he was riding in which led them to get into the car crash. That's where they died I'm assuming and went to hell or the infinite ghost cosmos with various entities or something. I don't really think they went in the house ever it was probably more symbolic or something.

Meh... decent visuals and lighting, really liked the cinematography in general, it was the strong point of the movie. Sort of cliche dirty blind hell people feeling around, humping eachother, blood, dirt, feces "creature people" or whatever, not actually all that interesting. Then there is the hell ring leader with lack of motivation or explanation really how he relates to the characters in any way or did I just miss it? The key made no sense to me. What was the key? There was no actual "key" right? So what was it then, the secret of? The knowledge of? Or was it a literal key that his Nintendo boss weak-point was to jam it in his head and he goes "ahh noooooo! Ok you can leave the purgatory hell house now... bye bye!" very half baked when it comes to story. "atmosphere" and style only take a movie so far IMO, and this wasn't up to snuff to really excuse the lack of good plot as it was "artsy", it was visually appealing, but not enough to really carry its shortcomings.

Katla (2021)

gorgeous shots but doesn't develop enough into anything

[4/10 · 28 January 2023]

I'm struggling to remember one likable character. They all talked pretty monotone, really no stand-out scenes when it comes to great monologues or character interaction in my opinion. The dialogue between Grima and her father early in the show was such a great example.

(Not actual quotes) Daughter: "Dad, tell me XYZ" Dad: *thinking something* "... I don't know" Daughter: "This is important, please tell me what you are thinking, I need to know!" Dad: *thinking profusely about stuff* "... I... Don't know.." Daughter: "Daaaad..." *thinking... welp that's my pops I guess...* Dad: *Thinking like he's never thinketh'd before* "..."

Huge spaces filled with characters just delivering lines slowly, grimly, staring off, thinking etc, like the show wants me to hang on every word that is said. But when it comes down to it, the show doesn't say enough. There is far too much negative space compared to good dialogue and actual substance.

The end was very lackluster in my opinion, there wasn't any kind of great reveal or philosophic cohesion other than they all had a "purpose" I guess. But that is also assumed by the characters. So let's take that at face value and assume it's true.

Trauma makes us worse?

Time makes us worse?

We need to accept that time moves forward and try to live life even with loss? This will help us grow gracefully with time?

It doesn't matter so much what someone is thinking or feels about themselves it's more about what they do with themselves and how it effects others?

The meaning or philosophy behind the whole show is all very vague and milquetoast to me for me to really appreciate the depth behind the surface level story. This is one of my biggest pet peeves in film actually, when you focus too much on the layers under the surface level story, you know the "meaning", the analogies, the symbolism etc. It better be good, it better pay off, and It NEEDS to work on both levels. It simply doesn't in my opinion. The surface level story was stretched too thin with not enough dialogue/substance, and the meaning behind it all was not very committed to saying much of anything with an unsatisfying payoff.

The Block Island Sound (2020)

Boring with a lackluster ending

[3/10 · 16 January 2023]

Was waiting for at least a decent reveal or some more depth behind the mysterious happenings on the island. Wasn't much meat here. Just really really really drawn out for an incredibly basic storyline that's been done before in much more interesting ways. I should have taken some of the dialogue at absolute face value as foreshadowing because it's one of those movies that spells it all out for you as well, you think "maybe there is something more to it, like a little twist or something" ... nope. It was too heavy handed with the analogy, it wasn't clever. Every good movie has good symbolism/meaning/analogys etc in it and doesn't need to shove it in your face or hand hold you showing you "see this dialogue was relevant to the surface level or overarching story, therefore it's good and intelligently written right?.. It's a good script right guys!?" meh.

I Came By (2022)

Pretty bad and too long

[3/10 · 13 January 2023]

Not making the claim Law and Order is a bad show... But this felt like a really dragged out episode of Law and Order. I mean that when it comes to substance and production quality. They tried to breath life in these characters but completely failed IMO and it just wasted time where the movie could have just been a good stereotypical cat and mouse in a house type horror thriller. Took more of a CSI Law and Order route and it didn't work for me at all. Main protagonist was just cliche and annoying and I don't even get how he got so ruined from slipping, he was completely icompacitated and was like spitting up blood from slipping, it was like an adult swim sketch but ok suspension of belief right? The best friend had a backstory to try to justify his incompetence but it still didn't make sense to me why he didn't just give some basic information to help his friend, the mom was whatever I like the actress but just meh and made dumb choices, the police just suuucked completely incompetent to move the movie along, the foreign guy after almost being killed... Like antagonist literally was like "I hate that foreigner guy that ruined my family's life I killed him" and then drugged the Iranian guy and chased him around his house most likely to either sexually assault or kill him, but for some reason... the Iranian guy hops back into the Judges car in like 2 scenes... Mmmm ok. Not a chance.

Animal World (2018)

Not a good story, filming was pretty good though

[4/10 · 22 December 2022]

The "im a crazy clown" thing got old super quick. Really cliche brooding badboy main character that is "crazy" and pictures himself as a clown slashing aliens up? Ok cool I guess not sure why this was even a thing at all. I would have liked some actual character depth.

The card math was just nonsense, I mean sure there are some savants in the world, but to keep track of all this information is ridiculous, I feel like a ton of the math just made a bunch of assumptions and would play out differently in real life, but ok the kid is a genius at psychology and math I guess, sure you can assume this card will be played and they will be played in sets of threes or whatever... In reality, I would slap down a random card each time, I don't think I'm the only one. That's all fine, movies have to be interesting somehow, so they do a bunch of mumbo jumbo card counting stuff like your typical genius card counter casino type movie. But in the end It didn't matter whatsoever because he essentially loses anyway and has a plan for his "friends" to buy him out of scary red bathhouse jail. But then they betray him for a snickers bar... But then he is such a brilliant savant he realizes a guy hid diamonds in a bandaid and just beat him up and took his diamonds to get himself out of badguy boat jail... then he just gets off the ship all willy nilly like nothing ever happened. Ok bye guys was fun byebye. Does a cringey air kiss to his nurse girlfriend and hugs her and says he wants to die in her arms. The end.

It tried really hard to have the "good movie" formula, it's a shame because the actual filming was really decent, but it's ultimately pretty hollow with no real character depth, imaginary action scenes that don't really happen, and totally inconsequential card game math (which was like the whole premise) that really made zero sense anyway.

Underwater (2020)

Cool monsters but ultimately didn't go anywhere

[4/10 · 14 December 2022]

There was really only two memorable scenes in the film with the creatures.

The rest of the film was the old scifi cliché, "we gotta get down to this section of the ship so I can override the blah blah blah" complete with sparks falling from the ceiling in like every scene. Bland scenery, overly dark underwater scenes where you can barely see anything. When the characters get to a section of the ship and override this, or open a door that, they just have to basically do it again at some other location. This movie uses this exact formula pretty much the entire film. There is a few cool scenes with creatures, I liked the sneaking past the sleeping monsters scene, The guy getting dragged under was pretty cool, and the fight on that metal beam tower thing was alright. Other than that meh, walk here, open this door, override that computer, whatever, fluff nonsense. Would have been nice to give a bit more character depth and more importantly a bit of interesting lore bits about the creatures, just ANYTHING really, I like when the universe is a bit more fleshed out then this if it's not going to be all that exciting in the first place, Like at least the universe they create can be interesting.

When they finally come face to face with the awesome cosmic horror-esque monster, it's literally over in like 5 minutes, and ends in a completely unsatisfying way. Derp gonna just override this computer and sacrifice myself. Boom. End.

Wanted more from it. I love space, I love deep sea stuff, cosmic horror, it just didn't deliver enough even given my bias towards the theme and settings.

Nope (2022)

a bit of a rant about "symbolism" in films

[5/10 · 25 November 2022]

Honestly could have been a good twilight zone episode, would have blown some of the newer ones out of the water. But for two hours, meh, pretentious ramblings of a deep voiced director guy, the ranch guy and his childhood and set incident with the monkey, a lot of scenes and shots point me in the direction to try to discern deeper meaning from the film. I have read the theories that maybe the monster "represents somethings", Hollywood? A camera? This? That? One two, buckle my shoe?

It made the gravest mistake of all though, it doesn't matter how much "meaning" you chock-full the film, if the surface level story isn't entertaining it's a not a good movie. I'm not going to get on the internet, figure out why Peele threw this or that into the film... and it represented this, and it was symbolic for that, and big bang boom, I don't care. It doesn't suddenly become a good film now because it has "meaning".

If you want to get philosophic dudes and dudetts, why not think about why you put value in symbolism in the first place. Symbolism is not inherently a good thing, it's neutral. I would argue symbolism complicates a movie's structure though, because now there is a surface level story to be coherent as well as the "symbolic" underlayer to be coherent. You need to now make BOTH of these work if you are going to go that route. I believe the "deeper" stuff Peele was trying to do with the film most likely took away from the surface level story that could have been told and explored in a more interesting or entertaining way. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but in this films case... it's not.

Pearl (2022)

A "horror" that wanted to be a drama..

[3/10 · 21 November 2022]

But as a drama it failed because of the lack of character development in my opinion. Every character in the film was really one note, and even the lead had an extremely minimal and cliché character arc. A story as old as time itself, person from a small town wants to make it to the big city and become a star, oh and she's unhinged... yawn. There was zero tension because you didn't grow attached to any character being killed, so it took away the "horror" of it, like you know who is going to die, and you don't really care that they are going to die, was falling asleep. Performance was OK, but the film was extremely corny overall. I genuinely enjoyed her monologue to her sister in law at the end. That monologue was the only good scene in the entire film in my opinion, and actually the only reason I would give the movie the generous rating of a 3/10. Unfortunately you can't build a movie around one great monologue though.

Don't Worry Darling (I) (2022)

Very interesting and promising start but...

[5/10 · 13 November 2022]

Great cinematography overall. I really liked the artsy scenes in this film. I thought Florence did an amazing job in this, really great acting and she has come to be name that I recognize and will look for in future films.

The movie starts very intriguing, immediately you kind of think "Stepford Wives", The viewer is most likely thinking there is probably some scifi-element to this, something is wrong here but you don't know what yet exactly, not everything is as it seems... And it just dangles that question for you the viewer... and it's two hours long and pretty much one note the entire time just playing on "something is not right here". The first hour I was actually saying "man this is good I just really hope it has a good payoff"... fast forward to the last half hour or so and without any spoilers... Under baked, underexplained, underwhelming, typical "I'm hoping it doesn't end like this" and then it ended like this... Started as a solid 8/10, ended up so annoyed with the last hour or so it killed the movie for me and brought my personal rating of it to a 5/10.

The Black Phone (2021)

Pretty great actually, one of the better horrors this last year or so

[9/10 · 16 October 2022]

The only real nitpick would be I would have liked is the antagonist to be fleshed out just a bit more. Overall though, everything worked, Likeable main character, few good jumps, but overall just that impending danger thriller kind of vibe throughout the film with the general unease. Was entertained throughout the whole film which is the main thing that matters to me in the genre. The antagonist was genuinely pretty creepy with the modular mask they would wear. I just wanted to know a tiny bit more what the backstory was behind that character. This was really the only thing for me that held it back, but at the same time what do I want like a john wayne gacy documentary on the character? Haha, I don't know, I think on a rainy night if your a fan of the genre this will not disappoint you, the only thing I am disappointed in is the average rating, deserves higher in my opinion.

Grimcutty (2022)

Incredibrule

[4/10 · 14 October 2022]

I laughed, I cried, I jumped in excitement. The acting was top notch and Danny DeVito really played the role of evil penguin slenderman chucky-cheese demon clown really well, I feel like they should strip Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar for the Revenant away from him and break it up into little pieces and give those pieces to the remarkable cast of this film. The evil Karen got too frazzled over the phone technology and ASMR videos of little girls crinkling paper and tapping their nails on various surfaces so it was up to the kids to stop them. The moral of the story is a pretty deep one, not a lot of people would understand with only one watch, this requires at least 5 viewings to get the subtle nuances and intertwined philosophies, maybe go back to transformers ok? Because this is for the big kids. The kids in the film came of age through exploration of the world around them, through their own lenses, they just had to stab the parents if they are worrying about them too much with that necrophilia search history ok!? And it will make the evil coked up Danny DeVito penguin demon clown thing go away.

Why 4 stars then you ask? Because this needed to be longer. Like a LOTR style trilogy, I need at least 13 hours of director's cut material as well and this universe needs to be fleshed out further so I can dive into it, live in it forever, and collect Funkopops of the various amazing characters like the motivational speaker that spoke at their highschool, the zen goth babe, the main girl what's her face, the tech-savvy son that hacked the mainframe, and of course elongated Danny DeVito penguin knife monster.

Day Shift (2022)

6 for the actually pretty entertaining action sequences

[6/10 · 23 August 2022]

Liked the interesting body contortion stuff with the vampires, the over the top physics of the vampires getting shot and ragdolling and flying around was just simple pure fun. It really kind of ends there though for positives, was pretty much a one and done movie for me, storyline was JUST enough to get through it but nothing really memorable or interesting, and same goes for the comedy aspects, comedy was a big dud in this unfortunately.

Vampires (1998)

Very strong entertaining opening scenes

[6/10 · 15 August 2022]

But then kind of sputters out a bit and devolves into a bunch of talking with a decent finale scene. It was ok, entertaining enough. I was genuinely so excited to watch this again after watching the first 15-20 minutes, thinking it's a bit of a hidden gem, eh, not exactly, but wasn't bad. If it kept the pace of the first 20 minutes it would have been an absolute classisc.

The King (I) (2019)

It was ok but felt drawn out for essentially one battle.

[6/10 · 10 August 2022]

The first half was kind of boring, I get you need to set the stage, and this is LOOSELY based on history. The movie does a great job at tricking it's audience into thinking it's a bit better than it is though. The set design was great and it had some great shots as well, dark ambient well contrasted cinematography, no amateurs there respect where it's due, family and "kingdom" drama, more drama, CGI castle siege, one real fight, a big reveal, the end. Was fine for a one time watch.

Incantation (2022)

Good but a bit all over the place and a tad long

[6/10 · 19 July 2022]

Overall I feel like if they shaved about 20-30 minutes off the movie and kept the direction a bit more clear It could have been really great. Minorly confusing at times how a character got somewhere or how much time passed, it also jumped back and fourth from past and present, it was fine and we figured out pretty quickly what was years in the past, but that mixed with the hazy time passing between present scenes it was a bit confusing still.

The Northman (2022)

The action and choreography was actually not all that great...

[5/10 · 21 June 2022]

And the story was pretty basic. It had some good shots and cinematography, I liked the artistic nature in some scenes how it blends fantasy into the story. Overall flat main character who felt like he had no real substance other than "revenge". I like how lines were blurred who was "good" and who was "evil". I probably wouldn't recommend it but it was a fun enough watch for a night, far from a classic though in my opinion, fell short in too many aspects.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

Every cliché hollywood trope blended together and puked out

[3/10 · 13 June 2022]

I have seen this film about 15 times already... but not literally, I mean I've seen this exact film THROUGH watching other generic Hollywood puke.

Movie was was too long for the generic Hollywood safe formula, and regurgitated generic dialogue.

A hilarious example IMO without any real spoilers. Chris Pratt teamed up with someone later/midway through the film to get back together with his wife who was separated from him on the Dinosaur island or whatever. They give them a a tracker like it's a video game, "here you can use this to find her location". Chris Pratt basically just nods... other character then goes "you really love her huh?" what?... I've only heard this line sixty times in various films, however, it didn't really make much sense in the context and scene that it was placed in. It's like they just opened the generic Hollywood play by play handbook, "ah yeah this is a good one, shove this line in there somewhere... you really love her huh?.. brilliant" ...Yeah he loves his wife so he's trying to save her... his love was already established for this woman. It's not a coming of age film where some kid has some undecided or secret feelings for someone that someone else has to notice and point out. It just was dumb generic lazy cliche writing that didn't make any sense.

Some of the action scenes were ok but obviously due to the rating of the movie could have been much more intense and satisfying if it were given a mature ratings.

If we are going to revamp the series, can we just go a different direction. Can we take a risk? Go full on borderline horror movie, make it rated R. I want to see some gore, All the intense scenes with the dinosaurs could actually have some impact and some bite (pun intended), giving that character's fear some real contextual depth through brutal consequence of getting caught by a predator much more formidable than ourselves. It could almost be reminisce of a movie like Alien or something.

Also I didn't have much of an opinion of Chris Prat before this movie, thought he was funny in parks and rec and I realize he lost weight and gained muscle and started taking on more serious roles. I will say for this film, He looked VERY satisfied with himself through his facial expressions in most scenes, It looked unnatural to me the way he was acting was like "yea that was awesome, I looked really concerned there". "oh yea I'm having a heart to heart moment here with my wife or daughter" I don't know.. I just didn't buy his acting at all. It wasn't terrible, but it was immersion breaking to me, essentially the third wall was knocked down and I saw him as an actor acting in his scenes as opposed to a character responding to things in the film.

I Enjoyed the chase scene for what it was, the black market scene was ok, the Ice scene was ok, and some of the raptor and giant dinosaur scenes were decent although I still think they would have been a lot more exciting with a more mature rating.

Detention (2019)

more of a mystery drama...

[3/10 · 26 May 2022]

And honestly it was pretty heavy handed and gave itself away too early. The horror was almost non-existent. One could obviously argue the horrors of war and extreme authoritarianism. Yes it had a decent message, but I'm not giving it points just because it's a movie framed around serious subject matter. Overall it wasn't very entertaining, and frankly even with the serious subject matter I didn't find it all that gripping or emotionally engaging either. I don't want to be held emotionally hostage by a film and essentially guilted into giving it a good score, kind of the irony of the film, the subject matter sort of guilts or forces you into wanting to appreciate it. It was a solid one time watch but not much more to me. I'd rather watch Silent hill or Shutter Island if I'm in the mood for this type of movie.