thewallace95-739-137299 Reviews

The Secret of Mulan (1998 Video)

Historically very innacurate

[1/10 · 16 January 2018]

I was very excited to see that the thumbnail of the video contained the image of a Yert or Ger, the traditional mobile shelters for the Mongolian nomadic peoples. My first thought was that this film would be the rare children's film steeped in history as well as entertainment. However, I was quickly proven wrong.The villain is a character named Mala Khan, a name that implies cheiften status among the invading Mongol forces, however, the real Mongol invasion of China took place under the leadership of Gengis Khan, ultimately leading to the Yuan Dynasty who ruled China after the successful Mongol conquest. These historical events were not included in the film, it completely brushed over the establishment of a Mongolian led Dynasty within Medieval China. Instead it opts for the typical Hollywood happy ending of the Mongol invasion being repelled. Also the armor and weapons of the invading Mongols, particularly those of the fictional leader Mala Khan, bear a much closer resemblance to feudal Japanese armor worn primarily by Samurai Warriors. Do the producers of this film expect us to believe that a Mongolian Khan would dress in the armor of a people that were famously never conquered by the Mongols? This playing fast and loose with history could generate lasting misconceptions of actual events in the minds of its young viewers. Also, why were they bugs?

Moses: Egypt's Great Prince (1998 Video)

Makes Cecil B Demille look like a hack fraud

[1/10 · 13 January 2018]

From the incomprehensible dialogue to the wild gesticulation of characters trying to convey emotion, to self-tanned twink Ramses and the sidekick dog who sounds like his voice actor's only direction was "Do it more like if Scooby Doo was a racist," on top of the fact that it is only the story of Moses on a technicality, in that is is a story and the main character is a guy named Moses, this movie is truly grotesque. If you're reading this review, I first invite you to reconsider every choice you've made that lead you to this point, and then I invite you to never show this to any children, it's devoid of any value whatsoever. It is not the story of Moses, it lacks the messages of perseverance, compassion, trust and self sacrifice that make that story great in exchange for recycled animation, continuity errors and Egypt based cat puns. If you're looking for a fun bad movie to watch with some friends, you can certainly do worse than this, its grotesque canyon of quality can be a lot of fun with the right friends.