Lift IMDB review
There are just too many clichés in this heist film. The cool leader of the gang, all the beautiful women at his side, super expensive yachts, the endless bureaucracy inside the police, blah blah. We have seen all this before. However, "Lift" just hasn't got the style of an Ocean's 12. The scene with the water protection barrier of Venice (at the push of a button) is simply ridiculous. I understand that the barrier exists but how they hack into it at the click of a button is just nonsense. The most important protection mechanism of the city...When every character in a movie is so cool that they almost freeze, it becomes annoying. To be honest I didn't even finish watching it. Then there is the constant message in the casting of "div*rsity and incl*sion" that gets in the way of telling the story. Why can't Hollywood just stay out of politics? "Lift" is at home on Netflix and that is where it will stay. If it was released in theatres, it would have been a colossal failure.
Reviews
16 Reviews
1983
(2018)
Not bad but too slow
27 June 2023
It is not bad but neither is it very good. The plot seems a bit far-fetched and the casting choices are questionable. For example, the leader of the resistance movement (Light brigade) is a teenage girl who doesn't strike me as an intimidating military type of person. It doesn't work. The law student and his girlfriend and all their little shenanigans are just a distraction. (Then he hooks up with the leader of the resistance movement quite coincidentally). The only person whose character is interesting is that of the detective. The actor played this part very well and he was convincing in this role. Then there are the constant flashbacks to the past which just seems to kill time and does so very slowly. I don't know why the pace is so slow, but I got to episode 6 of 9 but just couldn't continue any further. It had potential initially but just couldn't hold my attention. They could have made a shorter movie and then it would have been more of a success.
Asteroid City
(2023)
The is audience abuse!
26 June 2023
I am big fan of Wes Anderson's films, but he can't expect that quirky cinematography and Hollywood A-list celebrities alone will make a great film. There has to be an actual story worth telling, not something which can be written on the back of a cigarette box. "The Grand Budapest Hotel" had everything i.e. Interesting characters, wonderful dialogue and an attention -grabbing story which engaged its audience from start to finish. Asteroid City has none of this. All the characters are bland, one dimensional and without emotion- they don't get angry or happy or sad (despite a recent death in the family). They just talk like Joe Biden reading from the teleprompter and the whole thing with the alien is just plain silly. The sub-story in black and white (the Edward Norton thing in the background) is just annoying and doesn't seem to serve any real purpose. The "French Dispatch" wasn't nearly as good as "The Grand Budapest Hotel" but it was still better than "Asteroid City". Wes Anderson should stop taking his fans for granted and make a good film again.
Glória
(2021)
Captivating!
20 June 2023
I suppose one could argue that this is one very long cigarette and booze advertisement because hardly 5 minutes go by without someone smoking a cigarette or drinking (any time of the day or night non-stop). I know that in the 1960's smoking was a lot more prevalent than today, but even so, this is still a bit much. The only people who don't smoke is Carolina and the priest. Having said that, I found this series very entertaining and engaging. The end was a bit of a disappointment, but I think it was done on purpose for the sequel. (I doubt if Joao's lungs and liver will allow him to live another 2 year's for the sequel but then again, this is just the movies.) For me, Gloria just once again shows that good film making DOESN'T HAVE TO BE Hollywood spending USD200million big box office budget films. The Portuguese film makers can be proud of this effort since the casting, cinematography and the acting were all top notch. A very entertaining series which keeps one's attention until the end. The sub plots may be a bit of a distraction, but these are necessary to pain the picture of small village life.
Maestro
(2022– )
Really enjoyable to watch
16 April 2023
It was a strong acting performance from all the characters and the success of the film lies in its ability to keep one's attention. It is ironic that all the people who live on such a beautiful island are all so miserably unhappy and want to leave the island. (Granted the majority of them created their own problems.) There are a few things which bothers here and there for example how is it that the two main love interests have coincidentally met previously via an online hook-up and now they meet again? It seems a bit far fetched. Nonetheless the story keeps one's attention until the end and the scenery is simply stunning.
A Man of Action
(2022)
It started well but then...
16 April 2023
The movie is successful in terms of being historically correct and one can see that they have made a lot of effort in this regard. However, it fails on so many other areas. The main character is essentially a stupid fool who doesn't understand how the world works. His viewpoint (to be an anarchist) never changes. If it was the story of his own transformation then at least there was a story to tell . By contrast his wife clearly matures in the way she sees the world and therein lies the difference. The lead actor also has no charisma or charm. He doesn't make the story interesting in the sense that one wants to keep on watching.
The emperor is naked
16 April 2023
The problem with Netflix is that there are a few gems hidden here and there but it takes hard work to find them. However, this isn't it. I understand why there is a market for films which isn't mainstream Hollywood but this one doesn't hit the target. Admittedly, I didn't finish watching this because it is just to boring and it makes no sense. Like the story of the naked emperor it is one of those movies which the pseudo intellectual crowd will (1) claim to understand (2) praise for its wonderful content (3) imply that those who don't are just stupid and don't appreciate to see a genius at work. If you move in those circles and want to participate in the conversation, then this is prescribed homework for you.
Fidelity
(2022– )
Lucrezia saves it
12 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
If it wasn't for the beautiful Lucrezia Guidone and the scenery in Milan it would have been as dull as watching paint dry. Her husband is plain boring and his new young love interest lacks confidence. She doesn't strike me as someone who is going to break up a marriage or publish a book anytime soon. The plot also lacks credibility i.e. They were married 5 years but both just move on to new people without any problems or huge arguments or drama. She doesn't even cry about him at night as she is too busy with her new love interests. At the opening of her studio they just talk as if there is no history between them and nobody offers an apology or explanation for where things went wrong? (Creating the opportunity for season two?) Contrast that to the ending of "Indecent Proposal" which portrays a similar situation with more accuracy and it is easy to spot the difference between "great" and "average". Maybe that is the message of the movie: "Don't get married if you have the emotional maturity of a 17 year old but are trapped in the body of a 30+ year old."
Dry Martina
(2018)
Not worth watching
29 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is difficult to understand because it cannot decide what it wants to be. Does it want to be serious or does it want to be satirical or does it want to be a soft porn movie with lots of dialogue? The story is just so far-fetched that it is frankly ridiculous. For example, she flies to Santiago and sits on a bench in a park where she meets this random man
(whom she doesn't know from a bar of soap) and then decides to have sex with him. He then pretends to work for the Post Office in order to find out where her real lover lives. As luck would have it, he only lives two blocks away in a city with 5,6 million people! Then there is this weird question whether she and the other girl could be sisters but that is
neither here nor there. In the last 15 minutes she strolls around the city like a female cat on heat and the scene with the truck driver is frankly silly, to say the least. Maybe that was the purpose of the whole movie? To show the similarities between the cat and its owner who are both on heat? But why make a movie about it?
Munich: The Edge of War
(2021)
Poor casting choices and plot holes
29 January 2022
For me the movie fails on two fronts: Plot holes and poor casting choices for two of the main characters. Firstly plot holes: A few years after graduating from university the two main characters (friends from university) both occupy very senior positions in their respective governments. Legat is even secretary to the British PM. Highly unlikely for a movie which tries to be historically accurate! (Add to that Hitler doesn't really look like Hitler.) Secondly (casting) and to add to the first. Both actors look so young, one would hardly say they are 22 years old. I don't know why they chose such young actors. This is not an action movie and there were no physical stunts so why cast such young actors? Anyhow, a strong performance from Jeremy Irons, as always.
I Care a Lot
(2020)
Just too far-fetched
8 March 2021
The movie starts off well but then later falls apart. There are just too many implausible situations which destroys the credibility of the script. For example, the car driving into the lake and the whole legal process of with assigning guardianship over people. It is simply inconceivable that a court order can be obtained unilaterally and then a perfectly normal person can be transferred to a care home without any further review or appeal process. Why didn't the lady simply phone her lawyer when Rosamund Pike arrived at her house? Additionally the dwarf gangster boss is not credible and the idea that two girls take on the Russian mob and throw some wise cracks whilst being tied to a chair is just too far-fetched. However, Rosamund Pike saves the movie but overall not one of the best films I've seen lately.
London Fields
(2018)
Bizarre nonsense
5 July 2020
The ingredients: (1) A very bored chain smoking Billy Bob Thornton without yellow fingers. (2) The femme fatale who is consumed by all things sexual like a female cat on heat. She doesn't work, prepare food or go shopping but instead prances around all day in her underwear in her flat in case male visitors arrive. She has also been living in the neighbourhood for a year but the boys never noticed before. How come? (3) The posh gentlemen who prefers to hang around in sleazy underground bars all by himself where he has no friends and doesn't fit in. (4) The dart player scumbag who squints his eyes and pulls faces every time he speaks as if someone emptied a bottle of lemon juice in his eyes. (5) The kid in a dinosaur suit who behaves like a total gremlin and has to be stopped physically or he will eat the furniture. Where can it go to from here? Only downwards, and we didn't even get to see her boobs.
A Five Star Life
(2013)
There is no story here
3 September 2018
Yes there is some beautiful scenery and the movie gives you some insight into the life of Italian people and then what? Seriously there is more of a story on a box of cereal. She travels a lot and realises that her dream job has some negatives as well. Big deal. Everything in life has a price - we all know that. However, would we make a film about it?
Churchill
(2017)
The script and accents are awful
17 July 2017
Though there are some good performances from the actors, the script and the accents of some of the actors really deserve criticism. Gen Jan Smuts' Afrikaner accent with the rolling "R's" sounds forced and is just laughable, to say the least. He sounds more like a Scotsman than an Afrikaner. To boot the king of England sounds more French than English! Moreover, Smuts is portrayed as a pathetic little lap dog which follows Churchill around wherever he goes. (If the movie could, it would have shown Smuts holding Churchill's p****r whilst he stood at the urinal). It is completely off the mark for a movie which tries to be historically accurate. Gen Jan Smuts, after all, was one of the founding members of the league of nations (today the UN) and a statesman in his own right. Smuts graduated at Cambridge and Lord Todd, the Master of Christ's College said in 1970 that "in 500 years of the College's history, of all its members, past and present, three had been truly outstanding: John Milton, Charles Darwin and Jan Smuts." Churchill, therefore, wasn't Smut's intellectual equal by a long shot and the script clearly needed more research. Some scenes are also a bit ridiculous e.g. Churchill's visit to the front where Gen Montgomery prepared for D- day, the largest seaborne invasion in history with 156,000 men. Even if 90% of the soldiers were already gone, there would still have been 15,600 men. However, the scene looks more like a couple of guys who went camping in order to hunt geese. Maybe the movie was on a tight budget? So I give the movie 3 out of 10.
Quartet
(2012)
Do you feel the need to inflict self torture?
4 July 2013
If you feel the need to inflict self torture, then watch this boring movie. It is supposed to be a comedy, but there is more fun to be had at a funeral. Billy Connely tries his best to save the movie, but even he can't get it out of the ditch. It would be more exciting to rather go and stand in long queues to pass the time. Therefore if you like long queues may I suggest, in addition to home affairs dept, the traffic department.Long queues already start at 08:15 in the morning 5 days a week guaranteed. If you like queues in written format, try submitting an application to rezone a piece of land for property development. Also check out your local municipality,especially the building plans department, I am sure you will find some long queues there as well.Either way, pass on Quartet.
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