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Reviews
Bill Burr Presents: Friends Who Kill (2022)
Fiends we should kill.
Well that went badly.
I didn't know anything about this special beforehand so when it appeared I was looking forward to it. Paper Tiger was OK but not to his usual standard.
After all the things happening in the world I hoped this would be a breath of fresh air as Bill eviscerates the BS. How wrong I was, what a cringe inducing sell out he's become.
His opening segment was pretty flat, barely raised a smile from me and I noticed the audience weren't exactly eating it up either. This set the tone for the rest of what i could sit through before looking for something else.
Plenty of whoops & clapping but never when the audience were in shot, at times it sounded like a laugh track.
I struggled through the next act, and trust me it was a struggle and then onto Jimmy Carr. He can usually pull the rug from underneath you and make you guilty for laughing. If I'd have laughed at this act I'd have been guilty for laughing for completely different reasons. Very flat.
And at that I had to give up, looking at other reviews I think I made the correct choice.
Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?! (2014)
Cinematic equivalent of Ebola
I had to sit through this dreck as I was staying at someone's house & they were sat in front of it like a potted plant. Not moving, not showing any visible signs of sentience but still watching it.
At one point she spoke up, "I think this is made for children."
At this point I lost my composure. "Made for children? It's made BY children and I hope they're ****ing orphans."
Marina Monster (2008)
Wince inducing pile of honking mess.
Where do you begin with this movie? I watched it with my teenage son as we wanted to watch something really cheesy that we could have a giggle at. We chose well. It began with a presentation given about sharks by a man who probably has numerous bodies buried in his basement followed by the most lackluster opening credits ever. The film then really kicks off by interspersing some low brow innuendo, a running "joke" that will actually make you angry after a while & possibly the most unappealing women ever to appear in a storyline that alludes to their overt sexiness. Plot wise their is something about a boat race, a drug dealer who takes payment with monopoly money, a talking (yes, talking!)shark that can eat the population of a small town plus the constant & increasingly banal filler from the shark expert/psychopath. Everything about this films 71 minutes is irritating & repetitive. How many times can you film the same scene i.e. people "falling" into the water, I don't know for sure because I gave up trying to keep count. I managed to make it to the end to witness the jaw dropping blue screen showdown with the shark but it was a long haul. On it's plus side the lead role played by Trevor Crane seemed to show a modicum of . . . . I won't say talent but he gave the impression that he'd done this before. The rest of the cast are beyond bad, the script & delivery are worse than a low budget porn movie, but as another reviewer pointed out, gladly they keep there clothes on. Some of the attempts at being sexually provocative are toe curling. It seems to be badly out of focus most of the time though this may have been my brain cells dissolving. Watch it only as an example of bad film making & no other reason.