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Reviews
Jungle Run (2021)
Colossal waste of life
I don't usually go out of my way to lay further waste of my life (or anybody else's) in recording a criticism of a terribly written and produced film. I'll spare details, since so many others have adequately addressed this films many shortcomings, and to this point, I've already used too much of my life. I can give it some credit as unintended humor - as is a value attributable to many B movies - since the production does appear to take itself seriously. We laughed ourselves almost off the couch in the ending 10 minutes. It's not as bad or unintentionally funny as "Mac and Me" but it is a close second.
Zombie Tidal Wave (2019)
Not good enough to be a bad movie
I have seen a lot of bad movies; many of those with the understanding that they are in fact bad movies, and given that, there might be some unintended twisted comedic value during a couple of hours of my life watching them (I know I'm not alone).
This film does not belong in that category.
From the very beginning, all aspects of creative and quality film making are abandoned. Acting cannot be described even as poor, because that would be an acknowledgement that there is in fact some kind of attempt at acting. The creativity in makeup and costumes are surpassed by 4th graders who have done their Halloween shopping at Value Village (with a last stop at Mom and Dad's refrigerator for the ketchup).
The only thumbs-up for unintended comedic appeal is for the scene where the trolling motor is thrust into a zombies face, and the film motion was slowed to the point that we easily witness the destruction of a rubber mask. Thank you for the slow-mo there, but it would have been even funnier if the mask was on a styrofoam wig stand, and slow-mo would also reveal styro bits scattering. So I cannot even give it more than a star for that 3 second scene.
Story, plot, any other audience interest retention value - well, it's just another film about zombies attacking. We all get that movie producers are always attempting to reach out to some paying fan base.
This is just my opinion of course, but this one just doesn't have anything in it that will keep me from shutting it down before it ends.
There's nothing could top that rubber mask destruction scene.
Bernie (2011)
Slow, flat, sleepy
I picked out this movie because of the great cast. The cover depicted a subject which I presumed to be a black comedy. This genre always piques my interest. I really expected much more out of this than what I got, though. This story moves so slowly that my girlfriend and I were nodding off 30 minutes into it.
We stayed into it as best we could, but it kept rambling on as flatly as ever any film I've experienced. This was truly a waste of the otherwise talented actors in Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey, and Jack Black. I just hope they had a great time making this together.
Director Linklater and Black in "School of Rock" on the other hand worked extremely well and was a hilarious flick! I hope to see them work together again soon.