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El hoyo (2019)
Pretentious
This movie is pretentious, most low IQs of the world will latch on to it and claim how philosophical it is and all. Well that is not entirely false it is philosophical and political but everything it does has been done before and better.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Decent Watch, Funny.
This movie was not bad at all, hell i wasnt expecting anything, you know how it is these days. Most movies are absolute garbage. But this one ended up being impressive.
Sonic wasnt boring as a character, the cast were decent, ABSOLUTELY no politics in it, which is good, and the plot was simple. Sonic has to escape and Dr Robotnik has to nab him, simple as.
Watch it, it is good, lord know when we will get another Sonic, in 10 years perhaps?.
Underwater (2020)
Wasted Potential, but watchable
This movie does many things right and many things wrong. Watch it, its worth it, its a bunch of millennials trapped in deep ocean. You see we have so many movies about deep space exploration but rarely any well done movies about deep sea exploration.
Watch it, its fresh
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
Good Cast, Family movie
This movie didnt do it for me, it was fun, but its not the next blockbuster, its good family flick though.
Watch it with your kids, your neighbors' kids, your wife's kid or i dont know.
Ad Astra (2019)
Psychological Space Thriller
Yep the title of this review says it, its a new psychological space thriller, same vein as Moon, Sunshine, except those movies were infinitely better, why?. Well its because its the guy's quest to find his dad. Thats why, even if the movie was well written, expertly filmed and very economical with its surroundings despite the budget. It gives you that feeling you are truely alone in this empty vacuum you call space.
A good depiction of life in outer space taking its toll on the human psyche is there too. But it did not ring any new bell for me, but the same old. This has been done before, and this one felt tediously longer for some reason.
3/10
Cats (2019)
No reason to exist
I still cant figure out why this exist to be honest. I see some reviews scratching their heads as to who exactly this merveille was targeted towards. The best i could come up with is furries. But furries dont dress like this, and i doubt they'll pick Sonic over this pretentious shambles.
1/10 for being overtly pretentious.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Absolute claptrap
I know the formula he used to make this shambles. Look just throw enough quick-succession-fight-scenes that are loosely connected to one another and hopefully you'll string something together you can call a movie.
This is appalling to be honest, not much to write you all know how bad this one is, so not much reason to bother. The review section is in flames here and the ratings bombed.
1/10
The Witcher (2019)
Not up to Witcher-Standard
I played the game, i read the books, i read the comics and this Netflix adaptation of "Witcher" or "Wiedzmin" is not even close to the actual thing. This is a soft baby-formula version of it. The characters are off, in all manner of speaking, the plot is all over the place, the good thing about the plot is a flat out copy past of Saplowski's work and the fight scenes are kept at a minimal which is funny, since Witcher is all about monsters and fighting. They tried to pull some Game of Thrones politics in it and it just doesnt work.
The only good thing in this TV show is Henry Cavill, he managed to pull off some Geralt moves and lines, thats it.
1/10
The Mandalorian (2019)
Best Star Wars addition in years
Someone called it live-action cartoon, my initial reaction was "yeah thats what we wanted".
The reason i gave it 10?.
It paces itself.
It has good characters.
Resonance and verisimilitude is there, which is essential for anything that is to be categorized "good". The Mandalorian takes a very simple premise "the life of a mandalorian through his routine day job that is bounty hunting" and it opens us to the entire Star Wars Universe. This is good stuff be sure to check it out.
The Cosmic Secret (2019)
Looking forward to 2020
If what Corey and Wilcock say is true, 2020 will be a year of pure fun disclosures, so far we have enough evidence to believe in them, we'll have to wait and see further. Regardless this upcoming year will be a show im dying to watch and this documentary was so to speak an excellent trailer for 2020.
10/10
Above Majestic (2018)
New Fresh Thought Provoking
Well its one of those documentary you cannot tell whether to believe in or not. Thing is you are not suppose to "believe" in anything. Creators create content, content gives us insights on things leaving it to us when the time comes to either adopt them as beliefs or discard them.
This documentary does just that. 10/10
Johnny English Strikes Again (2018)
Funny, rewatchable, must-watch
Johnny English didnt disappoint, watched it during a long boring angry flight i had to take. My god i was laughing my ass off within minutes, why? because it comports itself, its those entertainment movies that was made with entertainment in mind, watch it, its good.
Tolkien (2019)
Hollywoodized Biography
Tolkien is well filmed, well acted, beautifully expressed in that bygone Britain era that most movies seems to love. But as a biography for Tolkien it raises a few eye brows throughout the movie with you wondering if that is actually true.
Well its not, not all of it anyway.
The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019)
Meh
Family flick, everything it does that been done before. Characters were boring, straight from the default creation wizard if you'd ask.
1/10
Pokémon: Detective Pikachu (2019)
Voice Acting
After Deadpool who would have thought to have Ryan Reynolds voice out Pikachu, but hey isnt it pure skills at work.
I for one liked him, his voice acting is good, but the plot is not even close, its too western for something typically japanese.
Watch it, because its good entertainment, not intellectually heavy though, as in feather weight heavy. 1/10.
Aladdin (2019)
Meaningless Padding
Err, i dont know much of what to write at the outset, you know this movie, its in the title.
Though, if you want a musical, EXPERTLY filmed of course, the set pieces were amazing, but the story lacked magic, you see all the effort went somewhere else.
1/10 from me, but watch it if you want to kill time.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)
Good Action, Mediocre Story, "Expanded Universe"
John Wick is a character we all know, got a soft spot for him we'll even admit, no matter how many body piles he racks up. But they are testing us, even our liking for weird meaningless-words bolted on titles.
But it seems a better title would have been John Wick Expanded Universe. Why? because thats what they did, remember, John Wick 1 he was just a guy who wanted revenge, John Wick 2 with him tying up loose ends and causing trouble, but this one well, it expands the world a little.
Its a lame way of story telling, but i'll tell you without spoiling it, know Call of Duty, where the main characters gets dropped everywhere people needs to die to the point you cannot even follow? same thing. John Wick has gone full cartoony.
7/10, highest rating in a while from me, its better than most comics because it got good gory action.
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
Dark Mess of a Phoenix
Sansa Stark is at again, getting her father figures killed. So far she has quite a kill count.
Plot, its crap, nothing new, its days of the future that had its past changed so we can shoe this shambles in it.
1/10, give it a miss.
The Lion King (2019)
Unity/VR future
Quite an experience that, watching those characters animate, with human voice acting but the graphics were amazingly real, not the Avatar kind, a better kind, now its easier to have older actors play a younger role. Industry is moving ahead fast in the tech domain.
Now onto the movie, oh its the same as the last one except in CGI, so dont worry.
1/10. nothing new in it.
Men in Black: International (2019)
Men and Womynz in Black
Diversity, feminism, social justice, this movie has all of your Californian fetishes when it comes to your dishes. Anyway lets go straight to plot, its not good. Why? well everything in the movie that the characters do is ONLY to progress the plot, they have no motive of their own, no agency to do anything. And this is sad because its used to be the key theme of MiB, an agent who saves people, but no one knows he exists and he is in contact with the whole of the Universe but still finds himself ALONE in the Universe. That struggle is what used to set MiB agents like Jay apart from others.
How did they mess this up again?. This is simple stuff, just cast Will Smith, or is he not black enough?.
Hemsworth and the black chick, dont know her name, were ok but it was too high school slice of life material. There's the tall hunky pretty white boy who is a dumb bimbo and the quirky nerdy black chick who is intelligent and knows everything, EVERYTHING, even when she gets alien weaponry that according to the movie she shouldnt have knowledge about or on, she knows it, just like that.
Like a friend used to say there is a scientist and a movie scientist, two different kind those. See if a movie scientist was a molecular biologist, he can do xenomorph anatomy AND highly complex neuro-engineering AND merge brains together, but a real scientist would reply "err i do not possess the necessary skills as a simple biologist to construct an alien brain merging machine". Thats where verisimilitude lies.
Anyway, plot holes everywhere, if you are in Fiji you can even use them as boreholes they are that deep and ridiculous to watch, another fantastic series ruined.
1/10
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
90% Human drama in a Monster vs Monster movie
Let me tell you that the tradition that is forcing all cliche known to mankind is very well present in this movie.
Its so stretched out with tortuous claptrap i could not keep a straight face during the whole movie, well i can not these days anyway, not when they ditch this god aweful shamble.
Long story short, plot goes like this, oh no Gojira Gojira girl girl mom strong independent womynz diversity diversity drama Mothra Mothra.
In this movie, EVERY SINGLE TIME there was a monster battle they cut to the humans seeing it from their perspective, it sucks the fun out of the experience.
Picture John Wick fight scene in the first movie right?, and you are seeing it from the perspective of a coffee in John's Kitchen, how would you feel?
1/10, absolute garbage.
Shazam! (2019)
Another Generic Plot
I know i got a history of gloating this but, why tick all the generic items off the list straight away, this movie had potential but nevermind, it seems the bigwigs want us to always consume the same mind numbing crap, its the "average-joe" design of the movie that ticks me off honestly.
Plot, there isnt one actually, its just characters moving or falling on their respective places to continue the plot. Its truely lifeless. Thing is the character background has been done before, and better too but not in this movie.
SFX, it was average, it was weird but you could see the parts of the movie that were CGI, it was low-budget taste.
Shazam himself is somewhere between Spiderman-Superman-Batman, all the guys he laughs at while being worst than himself. It was truely an odd duck this movie. You know what they set out to do, a Kick-Ass style parody that both conveys a new direction for the superhero cliche while keeping the satire fresh.
Shazam's direction is that of fast food stuff, they removed all the parts that could have transported us to some genuine emotions instead gave us a short-cut-straight-to-your-emotions kitsch. It gives you the feeling that hasnt earned its humour by being not funny, that was a funny phrasing, and it hasnt earned its agency by being not serious at all.
3/10 for curiosity and being bored so had to suffer through it.
Brightburn (2019)
So Much Wasted Potential
This is not funny, i dont know what the Gunns who did this were thinking but this is not funny. They manage to take something as simple as the origins story of Superman/Clark Kent and turned it into a boring horror movie that does not horrify because "horror" but makes you question yourself a lot.
Questions were, why is using fear tactics when he is obviously stronger than any human beings?. Why fanny about so much before killing someone?
This movie had excellent and easy elements to work with and they murdered it. Like i said at the start of this rant, it is not funny anymore to sit through this insultingly tortuous claptrap.
3/10
Pet Sematary (2019)
Boring and suprising at the same time
Well i watched this movie with a friend, the horror loving type friend. Both he and i found it very uninteresting, you see the first half of the movie ticks all the horror element off the bucket list within an hour, for instance, creepy house far from the city, useless-at-relationship couple, one is a brainless bint the other is a panicky doctor. You'd think a doctor would handle the horrifically wounded and corpses well, not this one, he goes full PTSD fast.
Anyway the second half of the movie is where the fun begins, things start to move differently from the normal horror plot lines and it add some weight to the characters motivation but in the end it fall flat.
3/10. watch it with your horror loving girlfriend.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Absolute Claptrap
This movie is garbage, but its a very good looking garbage. CGI is perfect, no really the mocap was done by some serious expert i think, it all animated and flowed beautifully well. Good? now onto the plot, its garbage, absolute mess, its like 4 different plotlines in one movie, its not fun, its like eating 4 different cultures' dish together, sure brag worthy but your stomach will regret it bad soon after.
1/10 watch it if you like pretty CGI, if you are the intellectual story type you'll be disappointed.