terrible2 Reviews

The Shrine (2010)

A fun alternative to the Horror norm

[7/10 · 8 November 2011]

I wasn't expecting much when I sat down to watch "The Shrine". The premise looked all too familiar in a sea of excruciatingly bad horror titles. The opening scenes did little to quash my suspicions, however, I decided to stick it out and go for broke. I'm actually really glad I did.

There is very little contrived material here. The film sets up it's story and moves forward convincingly. While some of the dialog tends to border on silliness, a rather strong cast is able to deliver it in a believable fashion, which, along with the top notch cinematography, sets "The Shrine" apart from it's contemporaries. Yes, the Polish accents were brutal, as were the ceremonial robes, however the suspenseful scene direction more then makes up for it. It's one of those films, where as, you don't really care all that much about the characters, but you really dig what the film is doing with them. It's easy entertainment, and sometimes that's all it takes.

No, this is not a film that is destined for cult status or a franchise tag, but it is an enjoyable little horror film that reminds us of why we love this genre… Because it's fun.

Fingerprints (2006)

Middle of the Road Horror...

[5/10 · 20 May 2011]

"Fingerprints" is an all around mixed bag. Some brilliant moments of creepiness mixed with moments of complete Duh…

At its heart is a ghost story. However, someone came up with the idea to make it a slasher film as well. While the paranormal elements tend to work well, the masked killer segments do not, partially to do with the fact that the killer's costume is laughable at best.

The premise is quiet simple, if not clichéd. A small town with a big secret and tragic past. Enter a castaway to learn about, and then attempt to solve the mystery. One big problem that I had was with the flashback sequences. They seemed to really cheapen the film and story. A few flashbacks would suffice, but the movie tries to hurl them at you and make things more confusing and less entertaining.

The acting is also a mixed garden salad. Plump full of ripe tomatoes and rotten prunes. I was pulled out of several scenes because of this and found it harder to concentrate on the plot. The main characters are well portrayed, particularly Leah Pipes as "Melanie" and Andrew Lawrence as 'Mitch". During the finale and reveal, things became quite rushed (budget issues?) and I was left a bit unsatisfied. However, everything is presented to you in a nice little package, so at least you understand the story.

Not bad if you're looking for a ghost story. It may even be appealing to some slasher fans. It's a middle of the road type film, not really bad, but not really good either. I guess it all depends on what you're looking for. For me, it was half and half. So on a scale of 1 to 10, I'll give it an even 5… Right smack dab in the middle.

Frozen (I) (2010)

Frosted nuggets of brilliance

[8/10 · 20 May 2011]

"Frozen" is an unlikely story to be called horror. It literally oozes suspense and unease, but horror? However, just as you start to think it's your typical disaster movie; the horror is thrown at you in large doses.

Adam Green's story of a few friends trapped on a ski lift is all of the above, and relies heavily on the "what if?" factor. Well acted and directed, with loads of breath-taking cinematography, the film pulls you in quite easily and doesn't let up until the very last frame. After reading the synopsis, I thought: "Come on, how could this be any good?" but I was dead wrong. It was fantastically mesmerizing.

Best way to describe "Frozen" would be "Open Water" meets "Alive". Its hopelessness at it's finest. You instantly identify with these characters, because chances are that know someone just like them. It's easy to care for them and their dilemma, which makes it all the more frightening.

Far better then I ever could have expected and certainly one of best of 2010.

The Book of Eli (2010)

A New Approach To An Old Theme

[7/10 · 13 April 2011]

A far better film then I'd first anticipated. The trailers showed a post-apocalyptic renegade (Washington) fighting for some unknown reason against the forces of evil. We've seen it before, and will most likely see it again. The difference here, is the star power they've assembled for this type of piece. Not since Mel Gibson donned his "Thunderdome" wig, have we seen Hollywood give this sub-genre such attention, but in the context of the subject matter, it just sorta makes sense. "The Book of Eli" is a slow-paced story, however it subconsciously packs a lot in. Through beautiful cinematography and a well thought out plot, it manages to gradually pull the viewer into this man's world. Portrayed flawlessly by Denzel Washington, we are routing for our anti-hero to complete his reckoning as the story unfolds in bits and pieces. The cast is solid, with Gary Oldman doing the "Baddie" role, like only he knows how. Secondary characters like Jennifer Beals hold their own, with the weakest link being Kunis, but this doesn't take away from the experience in any major way. The fight scenes were quite cheesy and far beyond believable, but again it didn't seem to matter to me, as I was caught up in all other aspects. Some dialog could have benefited from another draft but alas, the point made it's way across. Besides it's slower moments and Kung Fu fight scenes, "The Book of Eli" gives the viewer a fresh storyline, and well thought out twists that should make M. Night mad that he didn't think of it himself…

As long as a "Part 2" is never conceived or made, this film should stand the test of time.

Quarantine (2008)

Reality Horror done Right..

[8/10 · 13 May 2010]

First off, let me just tell you that I am NOT a fan of reality horror. I thought Blair Witch sucked and was the least bit frightening. Cloverfield bored me to no end and Paranormal Activity was slow but my favorite of the genre. It took me a long time to actually see Quarantine because I really had No desire to do so. I had read some reviews and watched the trailers and thought: "Oh great.. Another try at scaring the reality TV kids.." Well, I was wrong. Quarantine started off quite slow and I was certain that it would become the bore-fest that I expected, again, I was wrong.. Director John Dowdle had done his homework, and most likely realized why the foe-mentioned reality horror films didn't quite work on a massive level, and corrected the problems. Quarantine has some down right creepy moments, and keeps the viewer on edge through out most of the film. You can certainly feel the dread of the characters and place yourself into the situation, which is why it worked for me. Once the horror starts, it seldom lets up, and that is what makes Quarantine a much better film then it's predecessors. Highly dramatic segments that make you feel like your in a spook-house, just waiting for something to jump out at you...and they do! Solid performances and writing, my only gripe would have to be with the constant shaky-cam which always pisses me off, but I can at least understand why it's there, because the characters are running for their lives through out 90% of the film.. Well done and certainly worth a gander by any true horror fan.

Dead Air (I) (2009)

Terrorists Newest Weapons... Zombies!

[7/10 · 11 February 2010]

"Dead Air" is a zombie film with a few different elements of surprise thrown in for good measure. An overtly, competent talk radio host (Bill Moseley) speaks his mind to a late night audience, while an outbreak of toxic zombie-juice (brought on by Muslim terrorists) engulfs an unsuspecting city. Not a bad premise, but really nothing new. It was a bit preachy for a horror flick, and spent a lot of time using underlining character relationships to tug at the viewer's heart-strings (sorry, didn't quite work here) and this slowed the pacing down for much of the film. Moseley, along with the (always sexy) Patricia Tallman do a decent job as the film's protagonists, while the zombies themselves (with blood dripping from their eyes) tear apart their victims. I'm guessing the film's Armageddon theme was a lesson in hatred, and the writer's views on the world today. I didn't realize until the end credits that "Corbin Bernsen" was the director... I guess I didn't even realize that he was a "director" for that fact, but "Dead Air" is a pleasantly fun zombie movie if zombie movies are your thing. Breaks no new ground, but none the less "entertains" the way it's supposed to.

Satanic Panic (2009)

Don't Panic... It get's Better!

[8/10 · 2 February 2010]

Watched "Satanic Panic" on-line last night, and I have to say I became a bit "Panicked" when the film opened. It begins in a docu-style (A.K.A. "Blair Witch Project") with a rather flamboyant Satanist showing us photos of his poodles… Huh? I watched a few more minutes and just before hitting the "Stop" button, the movie changed to a more traditional Indy-style horror film. A brother and sister (twins I believe) are abducted by a satanic cult, but the girl manages to escape and tell her horrific story to the local police and press. Now we fast-forward ten or so years and a group of old friends are gathering for a weekend of camping and reconnecting. Although these characters tend to be a bit cliché, so does the whole (slasher in the woods) scenario, so I won't harp on the film for that. Truth is, there were a few fresh story line twists here, including a terminally ill women and a past (lesbian) affair that garnished a few extra bonus points for "Satanic Panic". At least there are a couple of characters that gave the viewer someone they could feel for. From this point on, the story moves at a much quicker pace and our cliché characters are dropping like flies, in some unique fashions and this is always a good time for horror fans. Decent gore and acting, the one thing that continually bugged me was some of the costuming choices. The Satanic robes were a bit silly and cheap looking. The Orville character, which's supposed to be some creepy backwoods-guy, wore overalls and a straw hat. I think having him look like one of the mountain men from "Deliverance" instead of a "Hee Haw" reject, would have done the film more justice, but maybe I'm missing the point here… Not likely to tread any new water or win an academy award, but fun for the most part. Besides having the crap scared outta me in the opening scenes, I found "Satanic Panic" an enjoyable low budget horror movie, and certainly worth a viewing.

Silent Venom (2009 Video)

Oh Berenger... Where Art Thou?

[5/10 · 18 June 2009]

"Snakes on a Sub" (or "Recoil" or "Silent Venom") was on my list of films to see, simply because I had to know why some (once mighty) actors would want to appear in a Fred Olen Ray (or whatever name he's going by this week) movie... The answer is (obviously) money.

The film wastes no time in letting the audience in on what to expect. Really (and I mean really, painfully) bad CGI snakes, that the average 12 year old kid could do a better job with on his home PC. It makes you wonder if they even tried? Yes, they look like cartoons of the worse kind. That being said, the story is not all that bad... Once the premise switches over to the what (and why) a submarine is involved, it actually pulls you in, and you begin to forget about the stupid snake storyline. There is an underlying war-themed adventure about an out of commission sub (and crew) that accidentally wanders into enemy waters. Very well acted by both Berenger and Perry, this part of the film really worked for me, and I became engrossed in the story. The dialog appears to follow proper Navel protocol, and you begin to feel for the characters. Unfortunately, we are soon reminded that this is "Snakes on a Sub" and the B-Movie resurfaces. I think it could have made a decent war drama on it's own, however not many people would likely rent (buy) it for that.

"Horror Sells!!!"

Thus, we are left with good acting and really, painfully, horribly, cheesy FX and an hour and a half of our lives gone forever...

Enter at own risk.

Dying Breed (2008)

Tasmanian Axe Massacre...

[6/10 · 18 June 2009]

Inbred and hungry cannibals... Out of their element young folks... Yeah, it's safe to say we've all seen it a dozen times before and "Dying Breed" is more of the same.

Director Jody Dwyer brings this familiar story to Tasmania with most of the same repercussions. However, the cinematography is stunning and the acting is well above most in the genre. Cliché? Absolutely... You pretty much know exactly what is about to(and does) happen through-out the film. The gore is admirable, yet the individual performances by the all-Aussie cast is the movie's saving grace.

Certainly worth a viewing, if for nothing more then the great acting and the wonderful scenery.

FrightWorld (2006)

Frighteningly Long...

[4/10 · 18 June 2009]

As low budget indies go, you will usually find that you get what you pay for, and let me just say, I didn't pay much for "Frightworld"...

Writer / Director: David R. Williams brings us the story of an abandoned amusement park, besieged by the vengeful spirit of a slain serial killer. Not a bad premise, but executed with a bevy of low budget mistakes. The camera work tries to be too cleaver for it's audience, by constantly using shaky quick-cuts to cover the fact that they really have nothing gory or scary to show us. This becomes evident right off the bat, as we are introduced to the would-be killer, and soon realize that the (acting) is the scariest thing happening... After a painfully long title sequence we are brought back to modern times, yet the acting remains the same. "Frightworld" does generate some rather unique cinematography when showing scenery from inside the fun-house, but with an extremely long running time, it can't save the film from it's below average indie hell.

There is some mediocre nudity, but not much for gore, which is usually the saving grace for these types of movies.

Fans of really bad B-Movies might find something of interest here, otherwise, don't spend a lot of cash.

Side Sho (2007 Video)

Great looking, not so great movie...

[5/10 · 9 March 2009]

Wonderful cinematography hampered by a less then stellar screenplay...

Yes, it's the ever so popular story of a family that wanders off society's beaten path and ends up being hunted by a family of freaks. At times it works, and at other times it "Sho don't", but director Michael D'Anna presents it in a visually appealing fashion. "Side Sho" is chalk full of horror clichés and plenty of bloody humor to reel in the low budget horror fans, but the story simply falls apart in the second act. You end up wondering if the funding dried up by the end of the film, because even the makeup effects seem to decline in value, and it almost seems to be rushing toward the climax with no real payoff. The acting is all over the board, some hit, some miss, with the best performance coming from the dad played by J.D. Hart. The scenery and locations look great, but the story doesn't take full advantage of this, and it just seems wasted here. It is certainly worth an evening's rental, but don't expect much more then eye candy without much filling.

The Ferryman (2007)

Without a Paddle...

[6/10 · 27 January 2009]

Psychological horror set adrift in a sea of uncertainty...

Directed by Chris Graham and written by Matt Metcalfe and Nick Ward "The Ferryman" takes the viewer on a boat tour, filled with terror and mystery. However, the storyline is bit used by this time, and if you've ever seen "Shocker" or "Fallen", then chances are you know what this movie is about. Set (refreashingly) on a boat, "The Ferryman's" best weapon is it's isolation factor. These people are floating in a dark fog and have no sense of direction when the horror begins. This worked for me, as you begin to feel the dread of the characters and their plight for rescue. Solid performances from everyone involved, and it's always good to see John Rhys-Davies back in a horror film. The gore is present, but could have used more. My biggest issue with the film was the for-mentioned lack of originality, as this plot has been used too many times before.

Certainly worth a viewing, or as an addition to a collection.

Witches' Night (2007)

Witches Delight...

[8/10 · 27 January 2009]

A rather enjoyable piece of old school horror, "Witches Night" takes the viewer on a wild ride and into dark places that we have not ventured in a while. Writer/Director Paul Traynor has obviously done his homework, and understands what it takes to make a modern horror film with classic scares. The film's premise is quite simple, a group of friends set out to cheer up a recently dumped buddy, and decide that a drunken canoe trip in Wisconsin is the right thing to do. Unbenounced to them, they fall prey to coven of (beautiful) witches and find themselves with various skin rashes and horrific visions... Solid acting from all involved, especially Wesley Walker in the role of "Rick". His foul-mouthed rants are at times hysterical and at other moments frightening. The cinematography looks superb, and the locations give the viewer a real sense of isolation and dread. The "Old Lady in the Woods" is down-right scary, and the producers of "The Blair Witch Project" could have taken some tips from these guys... I will agree with some other comments that the ending is a bit of a let-down, and seems really rushed. This is a shame, because the segments leading up to the final scene are suspenseful and creepy. Also there is a lack of any REAL gore, yet the sheer creepiness of the film leaves the viewer feeling uncomfortable...

All in all a great little Indie to add to any horror collection, "Witches Night" uses old school values to sell a modern tale about things we shouldn't mess with.

Carnivorous (2007)

Adventurous Video Game Horror!

[8/10 · 16 January 2009]

I watched "Carnivorous" online the other night, and felt that a few of the other reviews were a bit harsh. First off, "Carnivorous" is an extremely adventurous film, and given it's small budget, I think they made a decent little indie. Writer/Director Drew Maxwell writes quite an original tale about hellish beasts stalking a handful of society's unwanted, all of whom have awoke to find themselves imprisoned in an underground labyrinth. The acting is solid for the most part, although the films main character "Kate" (Leah Rose) tends to over-act (both dialog and actions) in many of the key scenes, and this becomes quite annoying. However, her co-star Ryan Schaufler is wonderful in the role of "Ian", and the rest of the cast play their roles well, although we get very little as far as knowing the backgrounds of their characters. The scenery is admirable, but quite dark due to a weak lighting scheme, and a lot of the time resembles something out of "The Land of the Lost" television show of the 1970's. The actors were obviously added later, and this sometimes becomes way too clear and takes away from the story itself. Then there's the creatures.... Yikes! They are ridiculous at best... And yes, you have seen far scarier monsters on your children's video games. These CGI created turds are just plain stupid and unnecessary. This is a real shame, because it takes away from what would otherwise be a creepy scenario, and film in general. How the director / producers could not see this, is the scariest part of the film... There is very little "Genuine" gore, as most of that is computer generated as well, but there are a few above average scalp removals and head extractions that will keep the true gore-hounds happy. And then of course, there is some gratuitous nudity that is well done and quite... GRATUITOUS!!!

Besides the horrible CGI effects and weak acting ability by the film's lead character, "Carnivourous" deserves to be rewarded for it's sense of adventure and willingness to try something new.

Scarce (2008)

The Hills Have made a Wrong Turn with Hostel Chainsaws...

[4/10 · 9 January 2009]

Yikes!

Another low budget Indie depicting backwood folk whom like to eat unsuspecting (idiot) victims. Not exactly a breathe of fresh air, but at least they shot it in the snow, I'll give'em a few points for that... Writer / Director's Jesse Cook and John Geddes have obviously watched their share of 100's of better films with this same story-line, but figured they'd better make their own (and thank God for that!)... "Scarce" is just that, scarce is any real creativity, originality or acting talent (wait till you get a load of the dinner scene... Duh!). Their big name actor is Steve Warren, whom appears to be making a living as a movie extra, and it shows in his lack of acting ability . In fact, no-one in this film has any acting experience and it shows though-out this unpolished turd. On a good note, the gore is admirable but unfortunately we have to sit through mind-numbing stupidity in order to see it...

Save yourself the aggravation...

Gutterballs (2008)

Horror Porn... Really?

[6/10 · 6 January 2009]

My hat is certainly off to Writer/Director Ryan Nicholson...

How he was able to push this past the censorship board is a statement in itself... And I will admit, I have never seen anything quite like "Gutterballs". A comedic slasher film at heart, the 1970's exploitation homage oozes out of every frame in bold (Red) colors. But, besides the gore, you are watching what most Cinemax late night adult movies will not even show... You see it all!!! This might be there for a reason though, to cover up the fact that there really is NO story, or at least nothing the average 25 year old could find interesting. Never really introducing the characters, the writing just seems to be that of an over-sexed 15 year old boy, filled with horror movie cliché's, boobs and explicit language. Not that there is anything wrong with this, but when the dialog becomes nothing more then F-Bombs, followed by more F-Bombs, then a couple of "Where's my whores?", followed by (you guessed it) another F-Bomb, it gets old real fast... Really bad acting is compensated by tons of graphic gore. In fact, the gore-factor (Almost) out-weighs the porn-factor, but alas we are so stunned by some of the nudity that the gratuitous splatter is almost over-looked. I am NOT knocking this film! In fact, I found it extremely fun and a great way to bring back some great old ideas and try a few new ones. Mr. Nicholson obviously has a talent for knowing what entertains (at least 15 year old boys), and I think with a bit more (creative) writing and character development, he will become a horror force to be reckoned with.

Home Sick (2007)

Graphic Gore Runs Amuck in Alabama...

[8/10 · 4 January 2009]

Quite dark and riveting at times, "Home Sick" sells it's story with extremely graphic gore tactics from the get-go...

Written by E.L. Katz and directed by Adam Windgard, this is Indie film making custom-made for those who crave the red stuff... And lots of it! The viewer is drawn in from the opening scene, which is quite perverse and filled with an underlying feeling of dread. Soon there after, we are treated to some gut splattering, puss spewing, limb launching fun like I have not seen in some time. With solid acting by everyone involved, "Home Sick" delivers a well crafted peek into a hideous Alabama sub-culture, where day to day life appears dreadful enough without an added demonic force ripping people's heads off... The pacing is okay for the most part, however there were a few (un-needed) slower scenes that didn't seem to be plot related. This is easily over-looked because the very next scene may contain a fountain of entrails, just to liven things up. "Home Sick" is a worth while addition to any Indie Horror collection.

Cadaverella (2007 Video)

Original and Entertaining...

[7/10 · 3 January 2009]

I was quite surprised with the outcome of "Cadaverella", as I was certain that it would suck...

Strong writing by Timothy and Jennifer Friend, and directing by Timothy, makes "Cadaverella" an entertaining slice of fairytale pie. The comedic tone is set early by a foul-mouthed narration, but it is the acting that truly sets this film apart from thousands of other low budget Indies. The film's star: Megan Goddard is simply wonderful as the ill-fated Cinder, who's perfect world is plagued by tragedy and misfortune. Kieran Hunter has a strong turn as the (wicked) stepmother and the rest of the cast seem to understand what their character's purpose is supposed to be. Although I was not real fond of the fact that many of the actors played multiple parts, I was able to overlook this because they did them well... Over-all mood and cinematography of the film looks fantastic, and the viewer happily follows "Cinder" through her pathetic set of circumstances. The down side of the film would be it's musical score, which mixes some sort of jazz with rock drums and finger-snaps. It never quite fits what is happening on screen, and I found this disrupting. Another would be a few unnecessary scenes that just didn't need to be there and felt more like filler, perhaps because of the film's short running time. However, these unfortunate mishaps do not make this well crafted, sensationally acted film anything less then great entertainment for your indie buck.

Satan's Whip (2006)

Horrific... But not in a good way...

[4/10 · 3 January 2009]

Sometimes you just have to have patients when watching indie horror. If you can just toe-tap your way through the slow-paced early scenes, sometimes a real gem will present itself... This (unfortunately) was not the case with "Satan's Whip".

Written and directed by Jason Maran, "Satan's Whip" attempts to drag us along on a boring snore-fest of a film, with no real pay off at the end. I'm guessing that the black & white (and blue) cinematography must have been for a reason, however it is never explained why the majority of the blood is blue, and I found this increasingly annoying as the film went on. The story in itself is not that bad, and actually had some originality and decent content but the acting is simply pathetic. This, combined with the slow-pacing and lack of any real (red) gore made "Satan's Whip" one to forget quite quickly. I will give it a "4" rating for some witty dialog that made me chuckle, but alas that could not save this boring waste of my time.

Plasterhead (2006)

Hire "Plasterhead" for all your home decorating needs...

[4/10 · 28 December 2008]

First off, I must comment on how well many of the shots were setup. So much of the cinematography looks amazing for a low budget horror film... Then there's the movie itself...

I understand the restraints of working with low budgets, but "Plasterhead" is supposed to be the legend of a severely disfigured guy who lives in an old shack out in the woods, that no one has visited in several years. Fair enough, but how hard can it be to find a rundown old house? It seems I see them all the time and I live in a nice area of town. "Plasterhead" appears to be up on the latest home decor fashions, as his (really nice) house is spotless inside and out, and looks as though Martha Stewart may have lent him a hand while decorating (he obviously knows his way around with a putty-knife)... Come on! With the exception of Ernest Dancy as "David", the acting is laughable at best. The main portion of the story takes place in West Virginia (where people have Southern accents), yet only the waitress (who can't act) seems to grasp this concept. Wait till you get a load of the guy playing the sheriff... He's supposed to be a backwoods hillbilly type, but is obviously from the east coast and attempts a (southern?) accent, which unfortunately sounds a lot more like a mentally impaired guy from Brooklyn (quite ridiculous throughout)... The story is down-right stupid, and it's ineptness leads a beautifully shot film right into the gutter. Add the bad location scouting and lack of acting talent, and you are left with a complete mess of all of the above...

There are far better low budget Indies out there if you know where to look.

The Tripper (2006)

Annoying... I guess you have to be baked.

[5/10 · 10 December 2008]

Well you have to at least give "The Tripper" an "A" for originality...

A strange little tale of the hippie culture being massacred by a Ronald Reagan-Masked killer during a music festival in the country. Very odd and at times quite annoying, but there are a few moments of grandeur... Written and directed by David Arquette "The Tripper" sells the scenario short with silly child-like humor and over the top performances by it's A-List walk on cameos. The main characters are unlikable, which leaves the viewer not caring about their well being at all. Jason Mewes acts even more ridiculous then his "Jay" character (if you can believe that), to the point where you just can't wait to see him killed, just to shut him up... I'm not sure if the film was aiming to, but it makes the hippie culture look even dumber and less human then the woodland creatures they try to protect. Pee Wee does a great job as the foul-mouthed concert promoter, but Thomas Jane looks stupid as the sheriff. The inconsistencies in character development makes this confusing movie even that much harder to watch, and by the end of the film you feel more baked then the idiots on screen...But alas, there are some decent gore scenes and the cinematography looks fantastic. If you are in the mood for mindless comedy / horror dribble, then this might work for you. If you are looking for a good hallucinogenic horror film, try renting "Shrooms" (the movie) instead...

Shrooms (2007)

Hallucinagenic Horror... Fun Stuff!

[7/10 · 10 December 2008]

Director Paddy Breathnach brings us on a horrific "Trip" into the Irish wood, to experiment with magic mushrooms and terror. Well acted and executed "Shrooms" is an adventurous film with some profound humor and plenty of creepy backwoods moments throughout. However, being that the film revolves around hallucinations, one must constantly ask themselves if what is taking place is actually happening or just in the character's mind? That being said, I think the writing is strong enough to explore these complexities to great effect, although the story tends to appear a bit rushed towards the end. The characters are written to serve their individual purposes, which certainly helps to sell the drama and gives us a reason to care. The woodsmen are frighteningly realistic, and add to the terror factor of the unfolding story. The cinematography is top-notch and the special effects are admirable as we wander into places not normally visited with our sober psyche... About as much fun as you can imagine with low budget horror, "Shrooms" lives up to it's hype.

Five Across the Eyes (2006)

I am now dumber then I was 95 minutes ago...

[1/10 · 9 December 2008]

Um... Okay, I guess I get the whole shaky-cam, gorilla-style filming technique but unfortunately I think a gorilla could have made a better movie... This thing was just a complete mess from the get go. Bad acting, bad directing, bad story and horrific cinematography. How this piece of garbage was released I will never know, but it has and unfortunately I watched it. Filmed on location in Tennessee by the directing team of Greg Swinson and Ryan Thiessen (Harry and Lloyd), "Five Across The Eyes" I'm assuming is supposed to resemble a "Blair Witch" type film but falls short... Okay it nose dives off a cliff. I was actually embarrassed for these young women, whom I'm sure were promised Hollywood stardom, but ended up in this dung heap. The dialog is ridiculous, and actually aggravates you as you listen to it. How this is supposed to be a horror flick is another mystery, as there is nothing even remotely scary about it, except for the fact that I watched it... Try this one on for size: There is 5 of you and 1 of her, do the math and beat her ass... "The End". Saddly it went on (and on) for 95 more minutes of mind-numbing stupidity...

I saw it for free, and wanted my money back.

Reeker (2005)

Smells Like... A Horror Classic!

[9/10 · 9 December 2008]

Nothing about a film called "Reeker" says it's going to be anything but stupid, yet I was quite impressed by the outcome. Director Dave Payne (Adams Family Reunion... Really?) paints his picture with bold colors and an emphasis on red... "Reeker" entertains in a way that very few Indie horror films do... By setting up and knocking down all the horror film clichés' with great promise of things to come. The premise is simple, a group of people are stranded at a seedy hotel in the middle of the desert, when a rather stinky foe reeks havoc upon them. Other then the "Stinky" factor, it sounds pretty similar to a thousand other films, but Payne shows us something new and quite refreshing. The setting, along with superb cinematography sells the isolation feeling to great effect, and the stellar cast brings the whole story to life in a seemingly effortless fashion. I was most impressed with the villain (Reeker), who was a stinky breath of fresh air when it comes to over-done horror film slashers, and proved to be something different and creepy. Yes, you will love the whole "Cookie in the outhouse" scene, and the way the film opens is something you won't soon forget. "Reeker" will make you proud to be a horror fan, as it does not alienate it's audience, but instead invites you on a joy ride to horrific bliss... You will not be let down.

Rise of the Dead (2007 Video)

Ohio Horror... Try Saying That Ten Times Fast...

[8/10 · 9 December 2008]

Titles can be so misleading, but I for one, was glad that "Rise Of The Dead" was not just another low budget zombie flick, but instead a well thought out horror experience from Ohio.

Director William Wedig piles on the dread factor that the writing team of Jeff and Josh Crook have layed out for him in this seemingly no budget film about possession and things that go "Thud" in the night... Most films with the words "Of the Dead" in the title means: "Zombie" but Wedig has something else in store for his unknowing audience. This is a well crafted, though provoking, blood bath of a film with solid acting and cinematography through out. Stand out performances by Erin Wilk and a rather comedic turn by producer / actor Chris Ferry make "Rise Of The Dead" a worth while viewing pleasure for fans of the genre. The story itself, paints a vivid picture of how bad things happen to bad people, but does it with a flair not normally explored in this type of film. The gore is honorable, and of course the nudity is always present to reel in even the most frigid viewer. "Rise Of The Dead" is a sign of good things to come from Ohio, and the future of horror in general.