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josephyoung76
Reviews
The Serpent Queen (2022)
Why is the word "Woke" even being thrown around?
I fail to see how this is anything but entertainment. It's a bunch of Brits playing Frenchies and Italians in a classic stage setting with a monstrous cast of talent.
I hate everything. It is so rare that I make it past one episode of anthing made after The Sopranos. I watch as much media as I possibly can so that I can be the first to catch the next big thing so that my pop culture brain can feed, and this show my friends, was good.
I watched it from beginnig to end and I am super excited to see more. It's refreshingly fun and I love how it winks at you at just the right time with a little coy smile that says, "you like when people do bad things? We're just getting started."
Starz has a hit. Don't let you being an a-hole stop you from enjoying it.
The Orville: Primal Urges (2019)
Come on people...
Look, I am the first person to turn off stuff whenever I feel a gay agenda is being shoved down my throat, but this episode felt real and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Not every episode of the Orville has to be some shoot-em-up space cowboy episode with the Krill trying to murder everyone. This episode was delightful to watch. It was brave and realistic in an absolutely unrealistic show.
This episode wasn't just about gay aliens, it was about how even on a spaceship in the middle of the galaxy with God knows how many species aboard, there is always going to be drama. It says a lot about racism, homosexuality, inequality, (things I usually hate shows using as a plot point)
but this was done with tact, subtlety, and a little bit of silly fun.
If a show doesn't have me by the end of the first episode I am done with it. I haven't turned the Overville off since I started. Brilliant show that nods at Star Trek in all the right ways. It literally says, yes we're doing what you did before, because what you did was awesome.
Old (2021)
It's better than a kick in the face with a golf shoe...
Let's just start with my biggest problem, M. May I call you M? Mr. Shamalamalamanym? You are one talented director and storyteller, and I will watch anything you make, but at what point did you think naming a rapper "Mid-sized Sedan" was a good idea? Growing up in the 80's I understood when a black man as a guest star playing a rapper on shows like Law and Order was named "Ice" because white folks in Hollywood just didn't know any better. But 40 years later you would think you could come up with something that even a white youtube star wouldn't use as an alias.
*possible names thought of before deciding on "Mid-sized Sedan:
Deluxe pick-up (actually that's pretty good)
Showroom Shine (Actually that's good too!)
Loaner car
Extended warranty
30 minute oil change
Resale value
You get the idea.
Oh, and the movie: The dialogue is wooden and the movie is watchable. I would describe the characters like if you took a box of toys that a child no longer plays with and shook the box and poured it out on a beach. They start talking but don't know why and you have Old.
Swimfan (2002)
Just hear me out...
No, it's not cinema gold. Experience this movie with no expectations other than to be entertained. Will you be? Absolutely. It's a cool Generation X take on the Fatal Attraction type genre.
It's well directed and the cinematography is great. Unlike most movies of this kind, this one actually seems to have had some real money put into it so it feels like the setting of a big thriller. That's always nice. I appreciate high quality film.
The appeal of this film is that most everyone at some point in their life has had a psycho in their life whether it be a mild one or an off the charts nut job, so you can either relate, or be glad you have been lucky enough to have never met a woman as unstable as this one. I personally have and they can ruin your life with very little effort.
Sure, there is no epic finger-bang scene like in Fear, but there's plenty of creepy lessons to be learned, gentlemen.
Meet the Spartans (2008)
Come on, just enjoy it and laugh!
No one is a bigger snob about spoof movies than I am so me giving this a good rating is because I truly believe this flick is good. Yes it is a part of the same universe of absolute trash movies by the friedburg/Seltzer duo but this one genuinely made me laugh. Superb cast if this were any other kind of movie. The sexy Carmen Electra is funny as always and it's awesome that a woman so talented and beautiful can do such low brow jokes. (See Scary Movie 3-she takes a 30 second dook in front of an entire room full of people and still walks away sexy as ever) Deidrich Bader is a riot; the scene where he says, "I must warn you, I suffer from premature EJAC-" and makes the oh face had me rolling. Sean Maguire is an amazing actor as always.
Look, this movie is stupid. Very stupid. But that's OK. Not every movie can be a Zucker brothers movie. You can tell that a bunch of talented people had a really great time making a really fun movie. It wasn't made to win Oscars. If you can't just laugh at this and turn off your cool guy internet reviewing persona then you are living an empty sad life. Just laugh. Just have fun with it.
"High fives for the women, and open mouth tongue kisses for the men."
Teen Titans Go! (2013)
Why so much hatred?
This show is brilliant! Don't listen to the purists that were expecting some kind of gory drama. This is a show that takes one concept, and then turns it into another more light and fun one. Imagine if Silence of the lambs were made into a cartoon for kids. Would you really expect it to retain all of the source material? Jeez. Be a kid. Laugh. Have fun with this. It's incredibly well written and sharp.