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rothrouga
Reviews
The Pool (2018)
Absolutely not. Don't watch if a dog lover
They hang the dog. Like not even like it's alluded to and cut away, the camera makes you watch and it adds NOTHING to this film other than to add to the pointless misery. I had to fast forward it to the end.
The dog is just there to torture this guy, somehow despite barking through the whole film and being chained near the pool when 2 guys turn up to find their drone the dog is somehow invisible and silent?!
Even if this doesn't bother you, the CGI crocodile is absolutely awful.
Titane (2021)
What in the ever loving hells was that
I have never before been made to feel physically angry at seeing a film and spending 2hours of my life watching something.
I know the easy response to the bad reviews for an indie/art film is "oh go watch a marvel film". I am a person who LIKES indie avant garde horror. I am never going to trust a film review in my life because 4 star reviews got me there.
I have never walked out of a film in my life. This was the closest I've ever come but I convinced myself to stay in the hopes this would at least make some sense or give me some bloody clues to follow.
The only good things I can say in defence are that the main actress is absolutely amazing. The horror and the gore are definitely 18 rated but also very well done.
I cannot understand why the hell a woman is impregnated by a car, goes on murder rampage and then decides that the obvious escape solution is to try and pass herself off as someone's missing son. The latter part apparently taking up 2/3 of the film
I was honestly praying at the end that the baby would be "normal" aka not a car. Of course that couldn't happen.
I tried summarising the film to my husband when I came home and he looked at me like I was making it up
I want 2 hours of my life back or the memories erased from my brain please.
Wolf (2019)
Garth Marenghi made a werewolf film
Firstly, I agree with everyone else. The core concept behind this is great.... however the execution is awful.
Watch Garth Marenghi's Dark Place and then watch this. I think my favourite bit of terrible sound editing is split between the generic crackling fire sound or when they bang their swords against their wooden shields to a metallic CLANG noise.
At the end (spoiler) a woman randomly turns up and delivers the solution behind what has been going on, in a way that has blatantly been dubbed on in the post edit to try and tie things together.
Never been more glad of my cineworld membership, my history loving boyfriend came out laughing manically
Generation X (1996)
So, so bad... and that's with forgiving how 90's it is
I can forgive this 'film' for a lot of things. For one, it's obviously only a pilot and they only give a pilot so much money. Secondly, I can understand why they couldn't put Chamber or Penance in (as the trivia says)... But it's just... so bad.
What probably doesn't help is that I'm currently reading Generation X etc, which is how I found out that this even exists (advertised in one of the x-men titles). While even the big budget films will never please the fanboys for continuity I don't think they even tried that hard with this...
Emma Frost, Jubilee (not-Asian at all), Monet and (if you ignore the terrible Irish accent) Banshee are probably the closest to the mark. I'd even consider Skin to not be that bad. I was even shocked when there was a mention of the Hellions having died! But it's where they've not stuck to the comics that makes this so terrible.
The backgrounds of the characters are shot to hell. Jubilee's parents are alive, Skin apparently comes from the suburbs but has a 'homeboy' friend etc. The place takes place at Xavier's school even though Xavier and all the other xmen have seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth as there's no mention of them. As other reviews have pointed out, the plot is some tripe about all mutants being latently psychic and accessing the dreamworld...
The villain of the piece is an actor painfully trying to be Jim Carrey, to the point where I actually thought I'd have to stop watching because it was just so terrible. One of the replacement students called Kurt is some sort of bargain basement Cyclops but with none of the stoic grit and more slime and misogyny. Mondo is now apparently a jock.
I would only advise watching this if you want to see something that makes Xmen 3 look good...