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Haunted Mansion (2023)
Boring
While watching this, I couldn't help remember the Pirates of the Caribbean. Another movie based off a theme park ride. That movie grabbed you in the first minute. This one started off slow and then continued slow.
The acting was terrible, I didn't care about any of the characters. It wasn't scary enough to be a horror and I think I chuckled once.so not really a comedy either. More of a slog.
I was watching it with my daughter who lost interest after about an hour.
The main characters arc wasn't fleshed out at all. We were introduced to it at the start and then it was just a side plot but we weren't invested enough to care.
Not one that I'll be watching again.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Loved it. Refreshing.
When watching this I realised how lazy other fantasy / sci fi movies have become.
I've gotten used to the green screen work in DC and Marvel. On this movie, the locations look real, there are loads of people in it so the cities feel like real cities. In other companies they seem to throw up a great location and have 5 people in it so it doesn't feel lived in. That is not the case here and it was obvious that real locations were used where appropriate. It looked great.
The cast were great too. I'm the last few years I've noticed characters that seemed to be there to tick a box of fill a quota. Here, every one was unique and funny in a different way.
The music is great too.
I'm not a fan of the game and don't know much about it and wasnt bothered too much about seeing the movie. Now, honestly it's the best movie I've seen this year (and perhaps much longer than that). I hope theres a sequel.
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022)
Very forgettable
It looks absolutely brilliant. The scenery is great. The story is non existent though. A day after an episode see if you remember what happened in it.
I don't care about any of the characters and the main character Galdriel isn't a likeable character.
For a program called The Rings of Power there is no mention of the rings.
I'm not really bothered watching the remaining few episodes.
The elves don't seem the same as in the movies. They're basically humans with pointy ears. Not a major point but there's nothing really lord of the rings about it. Just a nice looking fantasy story with not a lot going on.
Every episode has glaring plotholes where logic has to be turned off.
E.g. The pyroclastic flow. See what happens when one of those hits you e.g. In Pompeii. In the Rings of Power, you get dusty.
I'm not looking for realism (it's a story about elves and dwarves) but that doesn't mean that normal stuff has to be unrealistic too. Every episode has a scene or two where it takes you out of the story because the events happening are just too daft. A lot of it is stuff that could be sorted if they gave it some proofreading. It seems like a story written by teenagers for teenagers.
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)
More of a Gru movie than a minions one.
Felt like more of a Gru movie than a minions one. That's fine, it was fun enough. The first one seemed funnier though. This one felt like a sequel. Kind of got a bit bored in the middle.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
It's not really Star Trek
And Picard is barely in it. The episodes are forgettable and the writing has huge gaping holes that you never would have gotten in the old days. What happened to the old writers, surely some of them must still be around.
Its watchable. It looks like a polished show, until you see the story and characters.
Raised by Wolves: King (2022)
Is jumped the shark now.
Giving up on it now. It's getting too mystical and nonsensical. Season one was interesting. Season 2 seems like a poor quality b movie and has been getting worse each episode.
The King's Man (2021)
Nothing like the first two
I had to look up to see if it was the same director. Doesn't have the humour of the first two. The music is generic and doesn't fit as well as in the fight scenes of the previous two movies.
And the story is dull and plodding.
Wouldn't bother watching again. But I'll watch the first two.
Star Trek: Discovery: The Examples (2021)
Nonsensical
Burnham goes to rescue people on a colony and then sidetracks for 6 prisoners as the anomaly approaches. When she goes to release them they stay to negotiate and moan.
Meanwhile on the Discovery they start generating an experimental wormhole. You know, the kind of thing you'd do in the middle of an emergency evacuation.
Foundation: The Mathematician's Ghost (2021)
No clue what this episode is about.
I loved episode 1 and 2. I don't care if it's not the same as the books as long as it's good. 1 & 2 were.
Episode 3 started off ok showing how the emperor's move along. But the stuff on terminus was all over the place.
Episode 2 ended in a cliffhanger. No mention of it in episode 3. WTF.
Chaos Walking (2021)
It's OK
It's a decent distraction for its running time but very forgettable and if you think too hard about it for more than 10 seconds you'll find holes in the story all over the place.
They call the noise coming out of peoples heads "the noise". That kind of sums up the imagination effort used in the movie.
Outside the Wire (2021)
Only two soldiers available apparently.
Only two soldiers available from a base to save the world. And one of those is a rookie.
The effects are brilliant, the bad guy is nothing and the story is basic. Worth a watch but nothing great.
The Midnight Sky (2020)
Boring and dragged out.
There is no real connection with the crew. Half way through I was wanting the movie to end.
It's not exciting and the usual stuff to go wrong and cause issues goes wrong and causes issues.
Stargirl (2020)
Main character is just unlikeable.
Standard story of new girl in a new town. But she's an annoying person. Easy to see why she has no friends.
Watched episode one and was bored. Won't bother with the rest.
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Love it
I'm a fan of the Eurovision. We watch it every year for the quirky songs, big production and odd gem.
This movie captures the same feelings. Very funny in places and some daft bits. But a feel good family movie. Would recommend.
A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon (2019)
It's a kids movie
Which is fine. I just saw it on the cinema. The humour is aimed at kids. There are about 2 jokes in the movie that raised a chuckle from the adults in the group. The remainder of the movie was a basic kid movie.
I watch loads of kids movies and like them. This is one you turn on for the young ones and then just leave them to it.
The kids in the group enjoyed it.
6 Underground (2019)
It's a Michael Bay movie.
You know what to expect. Lots of explosions and shooting. Myself and my missis enjoyed it.
The I-Land (2019)
Send to be written by kids
In the current crop of Netflix series the character writing is so poor. The characters are so immature that it's just annoying watching them. Made it 30 minutes through episode one and gave up.
Another Life (2019)
Gave up after 20 mins.
Idiot twenty somethings in space. Story is basic and derivative. I was 20 mins in watching snide "astronauts" sitting around and nitpicking and realised I wasn't bothered watching the rest of it.
Spirit Riding Free: Lucky and the Wayward Wedding (2018)
No idea why these have such low ratings
I found this programme on Netflix for my daughter when she wanted to watch horse programmes.
She's addicted. The stories are entertaining as they show the adventures of a group of young girls in the frontier. Recommended if you have any girls below 10.
John Wick (2014)
Save yourself a couple of hours
I don't normally write reviews but this one took me by such a surprise I thought I'd try and save some other viewers from wasting their time.
Before watching this I had a look on IMDb. Normally anything above a 6 is watchable. This was 7.3 so I thought it'd be our movie for the evening. Unanimously the group of us thought it was dire.
Problems
The plot. The set up for the story is unbelievable. We spend 15 minutes looking at Wick mourning his wife at the start of the movie. It wasn't the most riveting stuff. Later in the movie we find out that everybody in New York (I think) seems to know who John Wick is. Except for the 3 idiots that stole his car. Which brings me to them. Why would they bother stealing his car. What was their motive. Yeah it's a nice car but they stole it to sell it. They didn't need the money. Apparently there's only one cop in America. We see about 100 people die in this movie in the city and the only cop we see is at Wicks house.
Some corny scenes. We don't see how Wick is the bogeyman. We get told it. That seemed cheap to me. Did you know he killed 3 guys in a bar, with a pencil. Great, good to know. Wick had the main car thief in his sights half way through the movie. He could have shot him there and then. Nope, we're only half way through the movie so I'll just look at him when I'm pointing my gun at him. When he runs about 10 seconds later, I'll start shooting. The hotel manager meeting the girl assassin to tell her that her admission to the hotel had been revoked permanently only to have her shot immediately. Did he really need to make the trip. The bit with Wick and his "mate" at the graveyard. That was some of the driest dialog I've ever seen. "Fuel the chopper". Good god. Has anybody ever made a phone call to say that to anybody ever. Why wouldn't the chopper be fuelled already. Are they stored empty. Why not just say we're on our way, have the chopper ready. The main bad guy has Wick tied up and ready to die. Rather than finish the job I'll leave it to my too henchmen and I'll run off to my car to drive off. Can you guess what's going to happen next. When Wicks finished his killing spree and going to head off into the sunset I'll kill his only mate and ring him up to tell him.
What annoyed me most I think is that with a bit more effort the film could have been good. How about at the start of the movie have his wife killed by an attempted carjacking, rather than having 15 minutes of him moping around after she died of cancer. I could get behind his killing spree then rather than him going off after his dog (which he had for 2 days) was killed.
On the plus side Keanu was on top form, in the action scenes. In the dialog scenes he wasn't so good but I think that's more to do with the dialog being so bad.