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Reviews
Haute tension (2003)
A Great Movie Destroyed By A Highly OVER-USED ENDING
BEWARE THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, But it might save the movie if you know about them ahead of time.
This was one of those movies that had everything going for it. Good acting, a nice well-paced script and lots of tension. I'm never scared by these types of films, but it was great to see people squirming in their seats as they watched the movie. I can't remember the last time I saw people squirm in their seats in a HORROR movie. At least for the right reasons.
However my praise comes to an abrupt hault around the last ten minutes of the movie. There we are met with the same ending FIGHT CLUB made famous and used via nauseum. The schizophrenia angle. (See Madhouse, Hide & Seek, etc.)The KILLER is also the VICTIM. A word to film makers, EVERY film does not need a twist ending to be good.
Yawn. 2/10 (although it would have been like a 9/10 with a better ending attached)
Memorial Day (1999)
Formulaic Horror
I have to say although this movie was formulaic throughout with a plot stolen from films like Friday the 13th/I Know What You Did Last Summer, this movie wasn't that bad. In fact it wasn't as bad as most of the Horror films Hollywood has released recently. The killings although at times a little too imaginative were in most instances just that, original. The cast was mediocre which is to be expected from low-budget features but much better than what that much bigger studio Artisan/Lions Gate has been offering. My only real complaint that wasn't due to the film's budget, which must have been small, was the contrived "twist" ending. I'm sorry but this is what put this film in the bad category for me. The ending was just stupid and tacked on. Before that I was a little bored, but actually enjoying it. 4/10
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Not as Bad as Some Movies. Have Seen Worse and I've Seen a Lot Better.
First off let me say that in no way do I hate Uwe Boll like most people on this site. Why do you ask? Because this is the first movie of his I've seen. Of course if I see another one this bad I'll probably change my mind. The acting is horrendous as is the logic of the characters. The visual effects if you want to call them that also leave something to be desired.
While Christian Slater and Stephen Dorff are normally decent actors, in this movie they are just bad. So is Tara Reid but that is to be expected by now. The movie is boring and uninspired. Well I guess I shouldn't really say that as some of the scenes were definitely "inspired" or I guess you could say ripped off from "Aliens." They have the same motion tracker, the aliens in this have the tongue penetrating thing and many other things I'm sure you'll notice along the way. Movies like "Starship Troopers" and "Hellboy" are also borrowed in smaller doses.
Now I'll let you in on the good stuff. All 3 things that you might want to skip to on the DVD if you can get to see it for free. 1) Very cool gore scene when one of the soldier's arms is torn off by an alien., 2) Very cool gore scene when some female soldier's head is split down the middle. Pretty sick looking. and 3) This one is my favorite, so watch this scene. When Stephen Dorff says that one of the female soldiers is dead, she starts moving before the camera even stops showing her. Very funny stuff.
Overall, it sucked. 4/10
Birth (2004)
Awful
I should have known from the beginning of the movie that this film was bad. I mean why would you have to blue screen someone jogging through the park? And why not at least make it look decent? As is he looked like a color-form jogging in place while the scenery went by. If you don't believe me just look at his feet which aren't leaving any footprints in the snow.
After this amazing scene we are treated to a movie that makes little sense and makes even less as it keeps going. The movie is advertised as a dramatic version of the movie "Chances Are." But that is a much better movie even if it is a comedy. In "Birth" all we are treated to is a boy who claims that he is Nicole Kidman's husband who has been reincarnated which is an interesting concept. That is until of course the characters become annoying. And why are they annoying you ask? Well simply put, they don't talk straight forward like real people. EVERYONE in the movie rambles on and on about Everything they talk about and it takes forever for them to get to the point. Why you ask? It's simple. There wasn't enough story here to make a movie so they filled it with people who babble. Call it bad writing if you will.
Aside from this almost all of the characters and their reactions come off as unrealistic. Kidman doesn't freak out in the least when a 10 year old boy gets naked in front of her while she herself is in the bathtub and then he gets in the tub and she STAYS there?! Huh? She doesn't even cover up? There's also the scene where Kidman's new fiancée freaks out and nearly beats the kid in front of her entire family, tossing the boy about like a rag doll. Now if this was any real woman, I don't care if the boy was a liar or not; the wedding and relationship would be off. At the end she apologizes to him for acting crazy herself. Que? The story's only good point and I do mean only good point is Anne Heche's character. She is the only one who seems real and the only person who is watchable in this drivel. Me and the people I were with were actually rooting for her (yes, we were rooting for the mistress) when she finally confronted the boy and forced him to confess. It's about time someone in this movie got to the point.
And if that didn't make the film unentertaining by itself, let's not forget about how it all ends. Spoilers here. The boy was NEVER actually Nicole Kidman's husband in the first place. Instead he was just some little boy who had found the letters that Nicole Kidman wrote to her husband. The same love letters that he never opened but gave to his mistress (Anne Heche) unopened to prove that he loved her more than his wife. The boy's story is a lie.
The problem with this ending is that the boy KNOWS exactly where Kidman's husband died. Something he couldn't possibly have known from letters unless of course her husband wrote her one postmortem. 2/10
Intermedio (2005)
Not too Good.
First off I'll say while this movie isn't very good, it also wasn't as bad as most of the horror movies I've seen lately, including the big budget ones. It was worlds better than Boogeyman but then again what isn't.
The good parts of the movie was the fact that it actually managed to be original even if at times stupid. The Intermedios themselves I actually liked when they were special effects pieces. At other times they were just humans with make-up on which I guess was due to budget constraints.
The bad however outweighed the good points of this film. The gore effects were VERY poorly done. The girl getting chopped in half made me cringe for all the wrong reasons. What was pretty funny was when one of the characters gets his fingers cut off and instead of effects they just had him ball his hands into fists and drenched them in blood. It was amusing to see his fingers still there in EVERY scene.
The acting was another sour note and surprisingly the worst of it came from Edward Furlong who is the best known actor in this film. He seems to be doing his very best and quite noticeable Charlie Sheen impression throughout the movie which tends to get really annoying.
Overall while having it's moments, the film is ultimately garbage and should be avoided by anyone except for those people who like cheesy horror. 4/10
Finding Neverland (2004)
Quite Possibly the Best Movie version of Peter Pan ever made
It's weird when I have nothing to complain about, about a movie. But this movie succeeded. The acting, production values and story were spellbinding. It's odd when a movie today makes you feel anything today and this movie will make you laugh, think (God forbid) and even cry. It's that good.
It also captures the essence of J.M. Barrie's vision better than all previous attempts to date including the Disney Cartoon and the mediocre live-action film released in recent years. Freddie Highmore should now play Peter Pan in an actual movie of the character, for he captured the look and feel of the character in the book perfectly, managing not only to be merry and fun but also possessing a slightly sinister, sadder quality underneath.
Wait, I do have one complaint. The movie ended. 10/10