ponderato Reviews

Prison 77 (2022)

Interesting, but far too long and stereotipical

[4/10 · 16 February 2023]

Personally, I found it really interesting to learn stuff about the situation of common inmates during the period and this prisioner's association, but I think that, just like "Argentina 1985", it would have made a much better documentary than a feature film. I found it far too long and repetitive, and at times tedious. It would have been stronger had it been half an hour shorter. The guards also, are represented as an uniformly evil bunch and their stereotypical brutality would have been more suited to the likes of a Rambo kind of film, particularly considering that it claims to purport a real story.

Zama (2017)

Like looking inside of a succession of period paintings

[9/10 · 12 December 2022]

Wonderful experience. Not much in the way of plot or flow and, so what? It's just a feast for the senses. It is seeing the 18th century come alive in all its minutiae. Reminds me of Hard to be a God. Same kind of sensations. Obviously not for everyone, but I loved it.

(These last few words just to satisfy the six hundred characters requirement. Sorry, but I haven't got anything else to say. It is simply a fenomenal work of art, as previously stated above. I could repeat it one, two three..., a hundred times, but the message wouldn't be any clearer. Don't they know these IMDB people (of all people) that less is more!

El país del miedo (2015)

Good concept, clumsy production

[3/10 · 11 April 2022]

This could have been a great little film with better pacing and better talent. The parents, particularly the dad, are well over acted and I've seen much better kid actors playing the ox and the donkey in school nativities.

Norbit (2007)

Immature and grotesque but, at times hilarious

[2/10 · 30 December 2021]

Well, it's a crap film. I only watched it because my daughter wanted me to watch it with her. That said, there were some hilarious moments that made me cry with laughter. I am not afraid of anybody making fun of anything, we should laugh at ourselves and anything around us, otherwise this woken politically correct wave of stupidity that has taken over us will leave us cerebrally castrated. As I say, it's not a good film, it's boring and flat, but I have to give it to Murphy, at points he's hilarious.

Dune (2021)

More than two hours of nothing

[1/10 · 18 December 2021]

Pretentious nonsense. I could only stomach 28 minutes of this. Two powerful nobiliary families fighting for control of this hard to obtain substance, and subjugated by the whimsicalities of a capricious Emperor with no hair. OMG, I couldn't take any more than the afore mentioned 28 minutes. Other stupid films still have something going for them but, in this case, nothing was worth my time, not even the imagery was appealing. I can´t stand movies that deploy silly spaceships and otherworldly environments and yet they go and show us totally earthy characters and situations. If you want to show us different worlds, make sure they are different in everything, make us feel that we have travelled to the other end of the galaxy and not to the nineteen hundreds. Why do I see blatantly clear references to all sorts of different fashions and aesthetics from the past? Where is the originality and the vision of the cinematographers? Why do they have beards? Why do they speak English? Why do they do bullfighting? Unless you are ten, avoid at all cost.

The French Dispatch (2021)

The most beautiful bad film I ever saw

[1/10 · 16 December 2021]

Every single frame of this film is a work of art. The care and thought with which they have been created and put together is astonishing. The soundtrack is simply gorgeous. The film looks amazing, everything tells you that it's going to be great and yet, it is unwatchable.

God I tried hard to engage with it, but I found it unbearable. I forced myself to watch till the end and it never got any better.

To be fair, the only Wes Anderson film that I have ever enjoyed is Fantastic Mr Fox. I have watched most of them, and I would love to like them, because I admire the love that has gone into making them, on the surface, they all look brilliant, but I'm very much afraid that, with the notable exception of Mr Fox, they are all empty nut shells.

Wrath of Man (2021)

Big let down from Ritchie

[3/10 · 28 August 2021]

Minor film from a director that can give a lot more. Paint by numbers old revenge flick full of clichés. No sign of Ritchie's clever dialogues and interesting characters, just bullets and testosterone. Entertaining but forgettable and formulaic.

An Optical Illusion (2020)

What a waste time

[2/10 · 6 June 2021]

I was salivating, waiting for the chance to watch this film. I had read people comparing it with the work of Charlie Kaufman. This guy has done some good television work and the trailer was promising. There are plenty of ideas and clues left throughout the film. There are so many places where it could have gone..., and in the end just went nowhere. Fell flat on its face. I even found it boring. It came to a point when I just couldn't wait for some quick pay off to put an end to it.

Sound of Metal (2019)

Updated version of the miracle of whoever

[4/10 · 29 March 2021]

Predictable tosh. Have seen the same old story dozens of times on films made for tv. Monumental waste of time. Good acting though, quite liked that kid and the mentor, but that's about it.

Estoy vivo (2017– )

Poor writing and exhausted story should have ended with the 1st season

[1/10 · 27 March 2021]

The 1st season, without being original, had its charms. From there on, it just went more and more idiotic. Poorly written and cliché ridden, stilted dialogues, bad acting and incompetently shot and edited action scenes. The whole thing is so disjointed that it's painful to watch.

Schoolgirls (2020)

As boring as sitting through somebody else's home videos

[1/10 · 8 March 2021]

Uninspired and mostly autobiographical coming of age yawn fest. The writer-director seems to have come across her girly diaries and decided that it was a good idea to share her experiences with the world. Gave up half way. If that was the best Spanish film of the year, God knows which one was the worst.

I Care a Lot (2020)

Best film I've watched so far this year

[9/10 · 24 February 2021]

I can't believe these reviews! This film is clever and engaging, kept me glued to my seat. In fact, I haven't enjoyed a film so much for quite some time. Nowadays everything is bland and formulaic and it's hard to find a gem of this calibre. It's full of ideas and twists and combines genres masterfully. If you like, clever, quirky cinema you'll love this film. Please ignore all these opinionated reviews and watch it, you'll be glad you did.

Nomadland (2020)

Like a documentary

[3/10 · 30 January 2021]

It's ok. Interesting more than fun to watch. Good acting, specially by the several non profesional actors like Linda and Swanky. However, I think it is massively overrated. It is good for what it is, but it is not an award winner.

Mommy (I) (2014)

Sloooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww

[3/10 · 16 January 2021]

One hour of this film should have ended up in the floor of the editing room and then it would have been a great movie. As it is, I struggled to get to the end.

Intersect (I) (2020)

Utter nonsense

[1/10 · 14 December 2020]

How did I managed to watch this? It was in the background while I was doing other things. It doesn't even qualify as a film, this is something else, from another dimension. I guess you have to be from there to make any sense of it. It is uninspired, slow, meandering, badly written, badly acted... It doesn't have a single saving grace. In fact, the only reason I took the trouble to write this was to warn you. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THIS. PLEASE.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Boring drivel. Waste of time

[1/10 · 4 December 2020]

Slow as a moribund tortoise. Brad Pitt's acting is flat and dull as hell. Plus I couldn't understand half of what they were saying. Walked away after the most boring 37 minutes of my life.

The Silencing (2020)

Complete and utter nonsense

[1/10 · 13 September 2020]

What a waste of time! It makes no sense whatsoever. Avoid at all cost. It is a badly written incoherent cliche ridden mess. It doesn't even deserve the time I am wasting writing this and you reading it.

The Vast of Night (2019)

Dark, slow, boring, bland

[3/10 · 29 May 2020]

I was looking forward to watching this film. It is ok, I guess but, please, do not believe all the hype. It is annoyingly dark, it takes the best part of 20 minutes to get started and after that it goes nowhere. Terribly bland for my liking. If you are in the mood, watch Cosmos (2019) instead. Shot with a tiny budget, but with a huge heart and great ideas.

The Infinite Man (2014)

Felt like I was trapped in a loop myself

[1/10 · 28 April 2020]

You can't engage anybody with boring and unrealistic characters and a script as flat as the desert where it loops for ever. I was interested in the film because I read about it here and when I found it on youtube, I decided to ignore the negative reviews and watch it. Bad choice. I did manage to make it to the very end, but only because of two reasons, the actress is gorgeous and you ube allows you to watch it at double the speed. Otherwise, there's no way I would have put myself through it.

The Tale (2018)

Even if it wasn't made for TV, it was made as if it was.

[1/10 · 18 March 2020]

How could such a big and bold story end up being told in such a flat way? The script is terrible, the acting is below par and thirty minutes into the film I was completely disinterested and walked away.

Never Let Go (I) (2015)

Don't trust any of these glowing reviews. The film is appallingly bad

[1/10 · 2 April 2018]

I never write reviews here, bur this time my indignation has pushed me to do it. This film is rubbish, and all of these reviews must have been written by friends and family of the cast of this terrible mess. It's a ridiculous plot that must have been written in the back of an envelope after a few beers. The acting is painful to watch, the action scenes are amateurish at best and the script is full of cliches and makes no sense. There's a lot of crap films like this out there, the annoying thing is that the perpetrators get away with publishing all of these glowing reviews on IMDB. I normally trust reviews on this site, but it looks like I need to be more careful.