Climinator Reviews

Scream (1981)

Turning your TV on standby is a better experience! CONTAINS POSSIBLE SPOILERS!

[3/10 · 2 November 2014]

Scream, also known as 'The Outing', is the only film where I've seen pretty much every review pan it. I decide to check it out of curiosity. Oh the horror! The horror when the cameraman slowly pans over to a lantern for the third time! The shock when a man wakes up to find...A DOOR OPENING SLOWLY!

'Scream' is so bad, yet oddly enjoyable in my opinion, it deserves at least a remake. If that happens maybe all the mistakes could be corrected.

Anyway the plot sees a bunch of rafters sailing down the Rio Grande river. Only they get lost along the way. They then decide to camp in a nearby deserted town (which looks like a set from Blazing Saddles). However when night falls they start to get killed off one by one by an unseen killer.

The premise itself is interesting so what can go wrong? Everything. Nothing is explained. It's never explained whether the rafters are family or friends or work colleagues. This defeats any kind of characterisation, making it difficult to care for the victims. Veteran actor Woody Strode enters the film as a sailor (who looks more like a 1940's noir Detective! lol)called Charlie. His performance is the most interesting and still has bad dialogue. The cast are mainly lead by Pepper Martin (the guy who beats up Clark Kent in the diner in Superman 2). Why give somebody with such little experience in acting the lead? Add to that the lighting is bloody awful. There is no gore and you can tell that there are no stunt doubles. This is because you can blatantly tell when the actors are doing the stunts! A scene that I find unintentionally hilarious is when a woman runs across town at night and obviously JUMPS ACROSS THE WIRE-TRAP THE CHARACTERS SET MOMENTS BEFORE!! Lol. The titles theme is god-awful. It sounds like it came from Starsky & Hutch.

The opening and ending sequences have hardly any links to the main plot at all. I only had a rough idea but what they consist of is a mantel piece, clock, three porcelain figures. The opening ends with the Butcher having decapitated the Baker and the Candlestick Maker. Then when Charlie shoots the killer the Butcher is decapitated too!!! Dumb dumb Dumb! There's also a painting of who the killer is at the very end.

When the end credits rolled I had become so excited I fell off my seat.

My advice...Stick to Wes, Neve, Courtney and David.

Batman: Arkham Origins (2013 Video Game)

Gotham City Needs A Hero.

[8/10 · 7 November 2013]

Batman Arkham Asylum surpassed both video-game players and reviewers expectations tremendously back in 2009. The sequel, with even greater graphics and game-play did so even more two years later. Therefore a third Arkham game was inevitable.

Due to the events at the end of Arkham City, Arkham Origins is a prequel so some of Batman's old foes are resurrected. The game begins with the villain Black Mask placing a bounty on Batman's head on Christmas Eve. This attracts the attention of 8 super-assassins including Deathstroke, Bane, Lady Shiva, Deadshot. To top that all off Batman also comes across several side-super-villains like Edward Nygma, Penguin, Mad Hatter and The Joker.

Whilst the graphics are not as detailed as Arkham City, the game play is amazing. Its fast, slick and Batman is brutal. Sure there are glitches here and there but hopefully a patch will be released soon. The city is massive (although perhaps not as big as previews said but still). You can explore the industrial side of Gotham and the side that would eventually become 'Arkham City'. Plot-wise, a lot (and I mean A LOT) of it has been taken and expanded from Batman Begins. I have no problem with that though.

The game would get a 10 from me if it weren't for those bloody glitches though. Excellent game otherwise.

Batman: Arkham City (2011 Video Game)

Batman Returns

[8/10 · 8 October 2013]

Right where to start? Okay well Batman Arkham Asylum burst onto the scene back in 2009 and surprised just about everyone. It had amazingly fluid game play, smooth graphics, free-roaming world with a 'Die Hard-style' story. It made you feel like you were the caped crusader. Therefore a sequel was inevitable.

Now then Batman Arkham City takes place one year after the events after Asylum. I don't want to reveal too much of the plot as there are some great twists but the game play is even better than its predecessor. The fact that you can not only play as Batman but as Catwoman in the main campaign is a fantastic addition. Challenge mode also includes not only these two as playable characters but also Robin and Nightwing via DLC. Playable characters can now fight multiple characters at once and unleash devastating combos within seconds. Can re-direct thrown objects from cans to crates. Boss battles have been vastly improved. The best ones are Mr Freeze and the final one. Graphics are amazing that it almost looks like you're watching a film.

On the minus side are two minor things. One is the final chapter 'Harleys Revenge' its disappointing and can be completed within 90mins. Another is that the overall story, although good, its just not quite as contained as Asylum was. Otherwise brilliant game.

Scream 4 (2011)

New Decade. No New Rules

[8/10 · 13 April 2013]

Being too young to watch Scream 1-3 on their initial cinema release, I was disappointed. Then, ten years later, came along Scre4m. After the less admirable Scream 3 I went in the screen room open minded. The lights faded. The film started. What can I say?

The plot line sees Sydney return to Woodsboro whilst on a book tour. Whilst she's there a new Ghostface targets a new bunch of teens including Sydney's cousin Jill (Emma Roberts). The opening scene surprised me. A tad over long but entertaining enough. Unlike Scream 3, where Ghostface's killings there tended to be rather brazen and daring, the killer here relies on being stealthy. As the film pokes fun at horror films, particularly reboots, there are some references to Screams 1,2 and 3. The twist at the end is a shock.

Once again the main leads of the series (Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and David Arquette) put in great performances as do their new co-stars Emma Roberts, Marley Shelton, Hayden Pannittiere, and Rory Culkin.

Thoroughly enjoyed the film although I only have one complaint. The tag line says 'New decade. New Rules.' Where are they as I never saw or heard them??

Other than that roll on Scream 5 & 6!!!

Captain America (1990)

WARNING!!! It's not quite what it seems!!!

[5/10 · 2 April 2013]

Back in the mid-90s I watched this film and thoroughly enjoyed it as a child even though Captain America wasn't my favourite superhero. However, out of intrigue in the last few years, I have found out that this movie got a lot of the characters and settings completely wrong. For example when was Red Skull an Italian Fascist? He's always been a Nazi. Still, after watching the excellent 2011 Captain America movie with Chris Evans (not the former DJ) I set out to purchase that film. Picked the DVD and it turned out to be this one instead. Don't get me wrong, it's not as bad as some say however there was a lot of potential wasted. One big problem the film suffers from is that the writers tried to cram every single major moment of Captain America's history into a 90-95 minute film. It dosen't work successfully. Another problem is that the film obviously had severe budget constraints as you can often tell that actors are facing backdrops. Some actors have to even play multiple roles. On the plus side the acting is watchable with a very dark opening (on par with the opening of Xmen). The actor playing Captain America (Matt Salinger, son of author JD) gives a pretty believable performance as does the actor playing Red Skull (Scott Paulin).

Its not a bad comic book movie, that title goes to Green Lantern for me. This one just should've stayed close to it's original resource material and not include every major moment of Captain America's history in 90 minutes. Having an ending where it could've been left open for sequels might've been a better idea.

5/10

Final Stab (2001 Video)

Just read the title and you'll know how good it is!

[1/10 · 9 March 2013]

Final Scream is like The Incredible Hulk's archenemy, an abomination. There is nothing else to call it without resorting to severe verbal abuse. Here are the reasons why it should've won numerous razzies.

1) When I bought this in a shop, little over a year ago, I knew it was a cheap cash-in on 'Scream'. What I didn't expect was that the film was so cheap that it's whole budget could've been made on the £1 I bought it for. The sets are minimal and bland looking. The killer's mask looks like something out of children's show 'Art Attack'. The acting is terrible. The writing is cliché riddled and the killer's identity is frankly obvious within the first 10 minutes. Also its advised that if anyone does watch it and suffer from migraines or severe seizures then skip the opening titles as the screen gets VERY BLURRY.

2) Another thing is that when the murders happen, you can't see a thing. In other words you might as well close your eyes. I did that and tried counting sheep jumping a fence.

Trust me this is a cheap cash-in of the 'Scream' franchise. A franchise it bears no resemblance to in all but word.

The Movies (2005 Video Game)

The Best Movie-Making Sim around!!!

[10/10 · 6 March 2013]

Got this on Christmas day 2005 and the expansion pack, Stunts & Effects, six months later. This came out after years of delays and was well worth the wait. I like many others still play this game today and don't feel it has aged one bit.

Gameplay-wise it allows you to not just create movies (upon unlocking the custom script-writing office) but you can also take control of actors mood-swings, wages, drinking and food problems in the campaign mode. However you can tweak these options in sandbox mode if you want to just go straight into making movies. A great touch is that every once in a while the game hosts it's own Oscars ceremony (campaign mode only). The only downside is that the developer's website, The Movies Online, is now kaput because of not enough users. Netherless the game is still excellent in single player mode. Escpecially good as it's at a cheap price with it's Stunts & Effects pack. I highly recommend it.

Valentine (2001)

Valentine.

[5/10 · 6 March 2013]

Bought this film on DVD nearly a year ago. Upon watching it the first time I thought it was god-awful. Now I've seen it around five times and, although its no masterpiece, its not as bad as I remember.

The film sees Paige Presscott and her friends(where have I heard that surname before?), played by Denise Richards, Jessica Cauffiel, Jessica Capshaw, Marley Shelton and Katherine Heigl being stalked by an ex-student called Jeremy Meltonthey humiliated in their old school days. One by one they get sinister valentine cards and start being murdered by someone in a mask and black coat. Are any of Paige's friends safe with their dates? Could one of their dates be Jeremy now thirteen years older? Many people think that this is a slasher in the 'Scream' mould. I don't think that is the case. I think it was meant to be the sort of film that tries to get the audience to enter Jeremy's disturbed mind. A psychological thriller instead of a horror. However I still find some performances far too hammy even if those characters were meant to be comedic. I also found that the leading ladies were rather difficult to relate to. This is why I'm giving it a 5/10 at best.

Batman & Robin (1997)

Batman & Robin

[3/10 · 5 February 2013]

Back in 1989 a comic book-based film starring Michael Keaton took the world by storm. That film was called 'Batman'. The reason why it was such a blockbuster was because it defied having any of the humour the 60's show had. In place it returned the dark and Gothic noir Batman's world originally had. Three sequels later and the franchise has been killed by a change of directors and almost the entire cast (Michael Gough and Pat Hingle were the only two actors to have roles in all four movies).

Wheras the original had a decent, if flawed, plot this third sequel is just flawed in so many ways. An example of this is very early on when Batman and Robin fight against Mr Freeze in the opening sequence. In the scene Batman and Robin bash their boots together to unleash their ice skates. Seeing as they were equipping their costumes before they were told that the villain was calling them self 'Mr Freeze' how did they know they would need them? Another plot hole is when Batman, Robin and Batgirl suddenly have a drastic costume change without any explanation (in the graphic novel of the film the white bits are meant to shield them from Freeze rays so why a line for this explanation wasn't put in the film escapes me). There's even a sequence where Batman and Robin start betting over Poison Ivy and Batman uses a credit card with an expiry date saying 'Forever'. The film is that awful in continuation of what Keaton and Burton started. Whilst Batman Returns was a bit too dark and Tim Burton-like, this is too far the opposite way. Turning Batman and Robin into a couple of stereotypical comedic tough talking cop characters doesn't make any of the humour funny. It makes it stale and annoying, very quickly.

It's a shame that the film ended up the way it did as it had a talented cast. With Arnold Schwartzenegger, Uma Thurman, George Clooney, Chris 'O' Donnell and Alicia Silverstone I often wonder what the film could've been like if Tim Burton had been involved. Instead you have a film filled with bad liners and visual gags, cheap sets and horrible glaring lights when the character lives in a dark and gloomy city. The only way it is slightly more watchable, I find, is if you ignore this one being a part of the 80's-90's franchise and is instead a sequel/reboot of the 60's TV series/film as it has more to do with that Batman era.

Other than that AVOID!!!

Die Hard 2 (1990)

Just A Day At The Office For John!!!

[10/10 · 2 February 2013]

Gunfights! Chases! Punch ups! And that only happens in the first 20 minutes! Die Hard 2 is the explosive sequel to the blockbuster original. This time Bruce Willis portrays McClane as having a far more vulnerable side. In this sequel John is waiting for his wife at Dulles Internation Airport. Suddenly a group of terrorists hijack the Airport Control Tower's systems, threatening to crash any of the planes circling above. With his wife held hostage on-board one of them, John does what he does best. To me this is actually my favourite of all four Die Hard's. This is because McClane is actually up against a bunch of rogue Special Forces members. Therefore they are more than a match for him generally speaking. As well as Bruce, his co-stars bring enough energy into their roles to make the film enjoyable. Bonnie Bedilia makes John's wife Holly feisty but likable, William Atherton is hilarious as sleazy reporter Richard Thornburg, John Amos is fantastic as the stubborn Major Grant and William Sadler is chillingly evil as Colonel Stewart. If you like Die Hard then you'll probably like Die Hard 2. 3 & 4 are although good, they have just not got that claustrophobic feeling of one man against it all in one place. Something that the franchise should have retained.

Batman (1989)

Two hours of comic book fun

[10/10 · 2 February 2013]

Firstly may I just state that 'Batman' is one of those films where Batman isn't really the star. The star character is in fact the Joker played to brilliance by Jack Nicholson. However seeing as Batman himself didn't have that much of a back-story back then, its no wonder. All the character had for a well enough established origin was 'parents were murdered in a back alley' (the graphic novel 'Year One' only hit shelves like one year before the films release). So its no wonder why the Joker almost steals the entire film. Having said that Michael Keaton does make an excellent Bruce Wayne/Batman depicting a man constantly in turmoil between identities. The plot line initially seems rather basic good vs evil. However after watching it time and time again it actually gets more intriguing. Particularly with how Joker rises to the top of Gotham's criminal empire to further his plot. If you want a Batman story thats still dark but more grittier then watch Nolan's interpretations. They're every bit as enjoyable as this and vice versa. But if you want to watch a Batman that's grim in a graphic novel way this is it.