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Rocky and His Friends: A Whale of a Tale or Thar She Blows Up/Fast and Moose or Charley's Antlers (1961)
As the Wailing Whale Saga concludes . . .
, , , viewers appetites will doubtless be well whetted for a nice juicy bowl of blubber. This recipe is fresh off the press from the official 2024 Pachyderm Political Party Back to the Future Tradition Revival All-American U. S. A. Oldies but Gold D's Cookbook. Start with 200 pounds of whale meat. Have 50 cups of oil, 50 cups of red wine, 200 teaspoons of peppercorn, 200 cups of salt, 200 minced garlic cloves and 200 minced small onions at hand. Combine the oil, vinegar, peppercorn, salt and onions. Cut the blubber into cubes or slices. Be sure to sanitize your chainsaw first. Marinate in the marinade for three hours. Cover and place in a 300 degree Fahrenheit oven for one hour. Serves 600, as they watch Russia from your front porch.
Rocky and His Friends: Follow the Swallow or The Inside Story/Playtime for Rollo or Rest in Pieces (1961)
IF Moby D. is the so-called "Great American Novel" . . .
. . . then it's reimagining as Rocky and Bullwinkle's Maybe D. Must be considered as the great American cartoon. It's always fun to examine such an obvious proposition. Who can forget the immortal first line of Herm Melville's weighty tome, "Call me Fish Tail." But when the narrator kicks off the initial segment of the Wailing Whale saga with the words "For many years Maybe has been a shadowy terror for all sea-faring men," which is merely the final clause of his opening statement, viewers know that they're blessed with a writer capable of composing complicate adult sentences longer than a mere three words. This variegated verbosity continues throughout FOLLOW THE SWALLOW or THE INSIDE STORY / PLAYTIME FOR ROLLO or REST IN PIECES.
Peabody's Improbable History: Buffalo Bill (1962)
A staff musicologist for National Geographic . . .
. . . recently reported that this segment of a 1961 Bullwinkle Show actually is responsible for the most singable song on the Beetle's (a mostly forgotten boys band from the 1900's, whose very name is not recognized by this site's spellchecker) White Album, "The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill." A now discredited tall tale alleged that the song was based upon a clueless American staying at a Swami's resort in Asia at the same time as the Beetles. However, National Geographic's researcher learned that such a person never existed in Real Life. What actually happened was a bored John Lennon stayed up late one night to watch the latest American cultural programming, just arriving at this backwater tourist trap. When he saw this film about a cringing Cody futilely pursuing the title of "Bunny Bill," and high-tailing it away from a herd of "buffalo" or bison without firing a shot, the song virtually wrote itself, the late Lennon later told George and Ringo.
The Watts Gnu Show (1959)
When you study this page intently . . .
. . . you're rewarded with absolutely no clue as to what the What's New? Show was about, or why it failed. Perhaps the best evidence regarding the latter question is the fact that it involved J. Ward, the weakest link in The Bullwinkle Show. Though the stars of that television juggernaut such as Bill Scott, June Foray and Paul Frees are all listed in the cast of What's New?, probably the wastrel Ward did not allow Bill to write it, which was the leading factor in Bullwinkle's success. If you peruse the DVD extra called CLASSIC TV COMMERCIALS on Disc 8, Side B of the 2019 Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends DVD, you'll learn how adept Scott was in finding the humor even in something as mundane as Cheerios.
The One and Only June Foray (2013)
It's possible that some of this apparent . . .
. . . documentary is included as a Disc 8, Side B DVD extra on the Complete Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends 2019 release, which often either lacks credits, features incomplete acknowledgments or tries to foist off crimson letters that are flat out wrong and incorrect. It's no wonder that hard copies of this 59-hour plus set are selling for less than $30 on the internet, given the cheep product quality that pales in comparison to anything done by Warner Bros. Or even Walt Dizzy. June Foray, who voiced characters for both of these legitimate theatrical animation concerns, deserves better than the short shift--10 minutes of totally anonymous no-credit interview excerpts--that she's given by the haphazard J. Ward rabble.
Peabody's Improbable History: William Tell (1961)
According to R, Bill Tell never existed in . . .
. . . Real Life. The "Lone Ranger" Hi-Ho, Silver! Music was allegedly first dedicated to him, but the dedicated team of musicologist sleuths researching these wild attributions in 2019 could not locate a witness able to testify about attending the premier of this supposed opera ascribed to the shadowy G. Rossini. In fact, all the G. Rossini's located in the Old Country turned out to be cooks. PEABODY'S IMPROBABLE HISTORY does a great job of exposing Bill Tell for the myth that he is. As presented here, Tell is a basket case, likely unable to fight his way out of a single-use plastic sack. Wisely, The Bullwinkle Show people never couple the totally bogus G. Rossini music with Bill Tell. Everyone knows that this ditty was originally composed by John Depp.
Rocky and His Friends: Defective Story or A Muffled Report/Leaky Lyrics or Bullwinkle Plugs a Song (1961)
Scholars have been researching the . . .
. . . Music of Moby since Herman Melville first published his 1851 doorstop whaling saga. The Bullwinkle Show's Wailing Whale story arc, parts 9 & 10, aka DEFECTIVE STORY or A MUFFLED REPORT / LEAKY LYRICS or BULLWINKLE PLUGS A SONG may come closest to addressing this aspect of its literary source. G. Gordon Light Finger's famed Top 40 ballad, The Wreck of the Pericles Q. Pea Quad was not part of the original Melville text, though beta versions appeared in time to serve as widely used marching songs for Gen. Bill Sherman's Union troops as they stomped through Georgia. However, Bullwinkle provides few lyrics to explain Melville's whaling epic.
Rocky and His Friends: Terror on the Seas or We've Only Begun to Fright/Blank Night or The Age of Nothing (1961)
Viewers wondering whether they could pass . . .
. . . a graduate-level university course on Herman Melville's weighty Moby tome based upon The Bullwinkle Show adaptation labeled as the "Wailing Whale" story arc will need to keep a few key factors in mind. Few if any of Melville's ten key whaling-killing events are covered by Wailing Whale, nor is the infamous chapter dealing with dissecting a giant mammal touched upon in all of its egregiously excruciating detail. Furthermore, at best just one of the nine meetings with other ships punctuating the original Moby is checked off here. Finally, not much is done to explicate Melville's assimilation with Shakespeare. So do not count on acing any tests on Moby if Bullwinkle is your only guide.
Rocky and His Friends: Underwater Eyeball or The Deep Blue See/Underwater Moose or The Aqua-lunk (1961)
People who have read the book upon which . . .
. . . the "Wailing Whale" Bullwinkle Show story arc is based will be wondering why the iconic opening line of this nautical yarn, "Call me Fish-Mail," has yet to be said during the first quartet of entries in this mini-series. Sadly, the same oversight continues during Part Five and Six of this saga, aka UNDERWATER EYEBALL or THE DEEP BLUE SEA / UNDERWATER MOOSE or THE AQUA-LUNK. Once considered to be the "Great American Novel," Herman Melville's Moby tome existed for decades as a seldom-opened doorstop for dorm rooms across America, as the vast majority of literature professors placing it in their curriculum had not even read it themselves--unless you count the Illustrated Classics comic book version.
Rocky and His Friends: Fear on the Pier or What's Up Dock?/TNT for Two or Fright Cargo (1961)
It's never humorous to see an American icon . . .
. . . threatened with destruction, such as when an explosives-laden vessel seems bound to annihilate the U. S.'s cherished Statute of Liberty near the close of Wailing Whale Part 4, aka TNT FOR TWO or FRIGHT CARGO. What monster would spoof defacing Mount Rushmore for yuks, or melt down the Liberty Bell, even in misplaced "jest"? Is there some sort of warning embedded within this Rocky and Bullwinkle episode--a prediction dire enough to justify such outrageous images? Who is behind the TNT plot in this film? A thinly disguised Aristotle O., future spouse of the unhappily married Jackie O. Released well BEFORE Nov. 11, 1963, this picture could be sounding an alarm that Jackie is scheming the ultimate revenge for JFK's "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" party with Norma Jean, subcontracting the Greek mob to serve as hitmen. Stranger things have happened.
The Color Purple (2023)
I feel a special affinity for this film . . .
. . . because one of my screenwriter friends is about to get his script green lit for the musical GONE WITH THE WIND remake. Like this version of THE COLOR PURPLE, my buddy's WIND is a "Wait, there's more!" flick. I can avoid blabbing any spoilers about the last half hour of PURPLE by just highlighting my pal's WIND revival script. Scarlet's dad has just fallen off his horse as a messenger is arriving from Ireland to inform him that he can be crowned King of the Emerald Isle in a month due to some recently discovered branches of the O'Hara family tree. Wait, there's more! The messenger has a side gig as a leading cutting edge neurosurgeon, so he fixes up Pops O'Hara better than new! Wait, there's more! Scarlet learns that Wet Butler has eloped to Paris with Melanie to take up still life painting. Wait, there's more! A telegram arrives from the Front disclosing that Ashley Wilkes has won field promotions advancing him above such notorious losers as Stoner Jackson and Bob E. Lee to the command of the Gray, where he quickly wins the Battle of Gettysburg and Meade's unconditional surrender by having Pickett charge up San Juan Hill and he'll be home by Tuesday to marry the widow Scarlet in celebration of War's end. There's about another 18 "Wait, there's more!" surprises featured in the WIND sequel, which is close to the record set by the new COLOR PURPLE.
Peabody's Improbable History: Lawrence of Arabia (1961)
One of the drawbacks of being well-versed . . .
. . . in the Life and Times of Tommy Eddie Larry, as T. E. Lawrence aka Lawrence of Arabia, was known to his friends, is that YOUR friends, relatives and doormen will all be asking you which film biography they should peruse: the one directed by John Walker or the live-action remake by David Lean. Some snobbish "film buffs" will opt for the latter, just because it won a "Best Picture" Award. However, Mr. Walker's briefer animated treatment, narrated by the Voice of Bullwinkle as Mr. Peabody, clocks in at about four hours more concise, which is important to bladder-challenged Americans. Sure, there may be a subplot or two "missing" from Walker's treatment, but who will care? The real story is all written on the wind, anyway.
Peabody's Improbable History: The First Golf Match (1961)
Mark Twain always says that golf . . .
. . . is nothing but a good walk spoiled. This is why ordinary puffers, which usually is spelled with an initial letter "D" except on ill-informed spellcheckers such as this one, seldom are caught actually walking, preferring to tool around with their excess baggage weighing down so-called "golf carts." Peabody's Improbable History: THE FIRST GOLF MATCH illustrates why the "game" of golf was flawed from its very inception. Originally established to settle minor grudges, golf grew into a cheaters' paradise, highlighting most of the shortcomings of Human Nature. Golf is truly an insult to walking, and has polluted way too many ponds, creeks and swamps with long-lasting if not eternal useless plastic orbs.
Peabody's Improbable History: Casanova (1961)
Casanova is the most famous librarian in the . . .
. . . History of Italy. Mr. Peabody hardly does justice to the Book Master from Venice during Giacomo's namesake Improbable History segment. A prolific date-stamper, Casanova is reputed to have checked out more deep tomes than anyone else in recorded library lore. Nowadays, when people think of Librarians, it's usually that tawdry tart in River City, Iowa. Marion the Librarian is infamous for being "the sadder but wiser girl," with at least one ill-gotten whelp to show for her libertine lifestyle. Unlike Casanova, Marion's book recommendations are hardly on the up-and-up. For instance, Marion scandalously pushes Balzac upon the unsuspecting residents of River City. Casanova, of course, wouldn't be caught dead with a volume of Balzac.
The Dudley Do-Right Show: Robbing Banks/Skagway Dogsled-Pulling Contest/Canadian Railways Bridge (1959)
The third title here graphically depicts why no one . . .
. . . feels safe traveling in Canada. Whether it's by sea, land or air, Canadian transportation infrastructure features engineering by unqualified project "designers" such as janitors, shoddy construction by bogus contractors and frequent disruption on the part of disgruntled saboteurs. Canadian hamlets, villages and what passes for "major" cities are frequently leveled by exploding ships, runaway trains and dive-bombing jumbo jets. Traversing Canadian bridge spans is a particularly iffy venture, because these rickety viaducts, overpasses and trestles are prone to collapse with little or no warning into the yawning chasms below. Bottom line, according to CANADIAN RAILWAYS BRIDGE: steer clear of this Northern Threat at all costs!
Peabody's Improbable History: Jules Verne (1961)
One authoritative world author ranking lists . . .
. . . Jules Verne as Number Two behind Agatha Christie, but ahead of Bill Shakespeare, Chuck Dickens, Wash Irving, Jim Cooper, Bob Lou Stevenson, Walt Scott and all of the other scribblers in the deck. Therefore, viewers will naturally have Great Expectations regarding his examination by Mr. Peabody. Many if not most of them will be hoping for coverage of JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH or, better yet, a dip into TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA featuring Capt. Nemo. No such luck here. The only one of Verne's stories touched upon turns out to be AROUND THE WORLD IN EIGHTY DAYS. Though Peabody's treatment is far superior to David Niven's snooze fest, that's not saying much.
Rocky and His Friends: Wailing Whale/Vagabond Voyage or The Castoffs Cast Off (1961)
The actual name of the title character . . .
. . . anchoring this story arc of The Bullwinkle Show is problematic. This moniker for the so-called WAILING WHALE is similar to Maybe Dock or Maybe Duck. I suppose that if you stretch it, you can even throw in a Maybe Deck here. However, the no-longer-acceptable tag being highlighted is a word play upon a 19th Century American novel by Herman Melville beginning with the unforgettable phrase, "Call me Ishmael." Often referred to by Professors of Literature as the Great American Novel, most states now ban this book, confining it in the same dumpster fire as THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN and TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD. In retrospect, shame on Bullwinkle for dragging such dregs into the view of children.
Rocky and His Friends: Boris Badenov and His Friends?/Bars of Steal, or The Hard Cell (1961)
Bullwinkle fans have been debating for decades . . .
. . . whether or not a question mark belongs at the end of the title for the first part of this episode's BURIED TREASURE story arc, Boris Bad-enough and His Friends. Certainly, when the narrator announces this as the next part of the Picayune Pot Saga at the close of Part 10, he voices this heading in the interrogative tone. Furthermore, Spike, Slug and Three-Finger--the trio comprising Boris' Five Pernicious Pachyderms Minus Two gang--frequently hold him at gunpoint, causing pusillanimous Boris's knees to quiver fearfully, so whether or not they can be considered as allies or friends to their diminutive leader is truly questionable. However, when this chapter's title is printed on-screen, there is no trace of a question mark present. Therefore, the debate rages on.
Rocky and His Friends: Blood and Sand or Three for the Show/Bullwinkle's Landing or Moosle Beach (1960)
Surely BULLWINKLE'S LANDING or . . .
... MUSCLE BEACH--with the M-word misspelled--was inspired by a Real-Life incident that occurred on Elizabeth Lake shortly before this picture was fashioned. The actual Muscle Beach was situated back then on the southeast corner of the lake, which was the part closest to Detroit. On that memorably hot summer day, one of those giant black whale floats drifted away from its moorings on Muscle Beach, and because the intermittent breeze was wafting from the southeast toward the northwest, this odoriferous communal beach toy washed into our neighborhood's tiny swim area, more than a mile away as the crow circles from the high-priced playground of moose and muscle. I can still smell that burning rubberized whale Today, even though I was a full generation away from it.
Rocky and His Friends: Last Angry Moose/A Punch in the Snoot or The Nose Tattoo (1961)
Viewers will be awash at sea if . . .
. . . they lack an encyclopedic knowledge of 1950's feature films when they attempt to decipher The Last Angry Moose Saga or its second part, A PUNCH IN THE SNOOT. Among the many references are to a flick called A STREETCAR NAMED STELLA, during which biker boy Jim Dean keeps on yelling after a public transit vehicle always disappearing down the tracks without him, since he's habitually late even though he seldom wastes time shaving in the morning. He's always breaking his sister's glass zoo animal collection, until some guys in white coats whisk his sibling away in a medical truck headed for the humorous farm. All of this is just the tip of the lettuce.
Rocky and His Friends: The Sand Blasters or Big Bang on the Beach/The Brave and the Boulder or To Each His Stone (1960)
King Bush-Wick the 33rd obviously . . .
. . . constitutes Product Placement by Big Tobacco, as he puffs, puffs and puffs away on multiple cigars during the Green Burnt Ogle Saga. How many wives have been done in by second-hand smoke during the decades following Green Burnt Ogle's release because it inspired their eventual weak-minded spouses to become hooked upon after-dinner White Owls or King Edwards? The peripheral smoke from Ben Hurs, Trinidad's, Cain's and 1881's is equally nefarious, and. Bolivar's, Oliva's and Black and Mild's all have driven innocent by-standers six feet under. This is akin to be flattened by a Diesel truck--or stogie.
Peabody's Improbable History: James McNeill Whistler (1961)
Robert E. Lee's most famous remark, "You ain't whistling . . . "
" . . . Dixie," was directed at James M. Whistler, whom he personally expelled in 1855 from West Point Military Academy when Jim stated that silicon was a gas on his final exam for chemistry after doodling sea serpents, whales and mermaids in the margins of his text book while spending all of his study time shooting billiards, drinking and leaching money from wealthier classmates. Whistler immediately fled in disgrace to Paris, never being brave enough to show his face in America again. As depicted in this episode of Peabody's Improbable History, Whistler's Mother was an out-of-control riotous rebellion sympathizer, soon forced to follow her son into permanent exile. None of their ilk were even allowed to be buried in the U. S. However, Mr. Peabody proves unable to cram in enough of the disreputable sordid details of the despicable Whistler's wanton bankrupt existence. For instance, even when a London jury agreed that he'd been libeled by a mentally deranged critic, they awarded him the British equivalent of one penny in "damages" and ordered him to pay court costs. All of his belongings, including his home and art works, had to be auctioned off to cover some of this judgment.
The Dudley Do-Right Show: Mother Whiplash's Log Jam/Stolen Art Masterpieces/Mechanical Dudley (1959)
Every Home Economics Major strives to make a . . .
. . . condiment so tasty that their families, guests or business patrons will be willing to risk knife and phlegm for just a tiny taste of it. Hot sauce, wings dips, barbecue toppings and chip salsa are just a few of the mouth-melting "extras" just waiting to be sampled, enjoyed and partaken of during what often turns out to be a Last Supper. The Dudley Do-Right episode called MOTHER WHIPLASH'S LOG JAM explores this sort of culinary phenomenon. Serendipity reigns supreme as Snidely discovers that his log-jamming adhesive has become the most popular bread topping in Canada, where the inhabitants mostly survive by chomping endlessly on virtually tasteless whale blubber and walrus fat.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
The most memorable portion of this picture . . .
, , , comes at the beginning, when one of America's most beloved poems--"Fire and Ice" by Robert Frost--is presented on the screen. First appearing in the December, 1920 issue of Harper's Magazine, "Fire and Ice" has finally emerged from the so-called Steamboat Willie embargo, free to roam the World of Thought totally unencumbered by Mickey Mouse copyright restrictions. Inspired by Canto 32 of Dante's INFERNO, "Fire and Ice" sums up Today's End Times. Depicting the Ninth Circle of Hades as a FROZEN EMPIRE, Frost expands upon Dante's image of Absolute Zero, as Frost's second choice for how best to perish.
Rocky and His Friends: Fun on the Freeway or The Quick and the Dead/Bullwinkle Makes a Movie or The Feature from Outer Space (1961)
Not since THE :PRODUCERS' hilarious . . .
. . . "Springtime for Henry" dance number has America been so enthralled by a show-within-a show as when they enjoyed FUN ON THE FREEWAY or THE QUICK AND THE DEAD. Viewers of the conclusion of "The Last Angry Moose" saga will get as much of a kick watching their favorite antlered citizen toting around his mattress wallet as they had seeing Gene Kelly twirling around a lamp post as he sang in the rain. BULLWINKLE MAKES A MOVIE or THE FEATURE FROM OUTER SPACE will bring a smile to the face of those with fond memories of PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE, REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE and A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE. This film brings the hope for a more benign Henry--and Germany.