rupertcook Reviews

The Venusian (1954)

It appears that men are from Venus.

[1/10 · 2 August 2017]

Aliens seem to have two things in mind when they drop in on planet Earth, subjugating the natives or enlightening them. In this dull tale its the latter.

Every expense is spared so don't expect eight-tentacled, six-eyed, poison-spewing monsters. What you get instead is a human-shaped man who is shot from behind for the first ten minutes of the film in a desperate attempt to generate a little suspense. From behind he resembles one of Kraftwerk. Obviously he has no shocking features otherwise those who see him face on would have emitted screams or fainted.

The story plods on taking in a hint of inter-species relations, miracle healing and betrayal until it reaches a "dramatic" finale with an appearance of an alien spaceship borrowing its design from a dinner plate.

The Deadly Hunt (1971 TV Movie)

For arsonists only

[2/10 · 27 July 2017]

If you love burning trees you'll like this rather flat thriller. The actual story never reaches boiling point. Roughly 20% of the film is awash with typical early 70's TV background music in the vein of the Rockford Files. It's certainly an improvement on the dialogue.

There's a twist at the end which is not that well disguised. Peter Lawford does silently menacing in the manner of an avuncular uncle who's peeved that he's mislaid his glasses. Anthony Franciosa is reasonably convincing as a gleeful psychopath. Everyone else is sort of there.

Black Memory (1947)

"I'm one of the lucky ones, I don't have a soul."

[5/10 · 17 July 2017]

Michael Medwin, later to feature in Shoestring some thirty years later, plays a young thug, rather in the mould of Pinkie from Brighton Rock. He has the meatiest role in this efficient, if not particularly tense, thriller. Jane Arden, soaked in sass, plays his moll, and brings off a spirited performance. There is even a slight suggestion that the pair spent the night together, rather risqué for its time.

Sid James features in his first film looking, as ever, craggy and plays the part of a cowardly cafe owner.

Micheal Atkinson plays Danny, a rather colourless youth, who we are meant to cheer on but never was justice in its human form so dull though by the end of the film he has found a suitable personality.

All in all it passes the time in a not unpleasant way.

Deep in the Heart (1983)

Kathleen Got A Gun

[7/10 · 14 July 2017]

This is quite a confused film. Karen Young is a young and rather soppy school teacher which is emphasised so strongly one struggles to empathise with her, until she is raped. Her abuser is the sort of clean-living man who hates "faggots" and regards John Wayne as a perfect role model and spends his weekends at the local shooting range. They go on a date, though she stresses that she's not looking for a serious relationship. He enthuses over guns and she invites him to give her students a lecture on them. Things don't really develop romantically so he decides to use good old fashioned force.

The rape scene, though not graphic, is still harrowing. Perhaps it's the contrast between her implied innocence and his brash matter-of- fact attitude that makes the rape so shocking. After he's had her he even suggests that she needs counselling, stressing that she's got to be responsible for her actions. The more he lectures her the more he feels justified in his actions.

She goes to the police. She is given very little support. Even the priest at her local church seems at odds with her suffering spouting nonsense about God delivering punishment and how her abuser is suffering too. Infuriated by authority she employs her own justice.

We then see her attend the rifle range and become an expert shot. One scene I really liked was when she was mock-shooting in her flat and the gun was reflected over a picture of John and Yoko kissing; John Lennon abhorred violence and was shot dead a few years before the film was made.

I found this film engaging, the slow build, the everyday events, the little mundanities of life were well observed. It was almost a documentary until the tone changed when Kathleen (Karen Young) got a gun. It then becomes a little confused. The film seems to be anti- gun but is it? Kathleen is initially terrified of firearms and yet she resorts to them to gain revenge; meet force with force. It seems to imply that authority is failing, take up arms to solve your problems. If it is anti-gun its point is muddled. True Kathleen doesn't kill Larry and maybe the film makers regard that as a positive message.

It ends on a positive note. Kathleen is seen smiling and chatting and cuddling a black baby, this last action could be seen as a riposte to a monologue given by a white supremacist who predicts an uprising by blacks and Mexicans.

The Mystic Hour (1934)

Intrigue fatigue.

[2/10 · 11 July 2017]

I thought this was a comedy at first of the Keystone cops kind. A foiled robbery, a dyspeptic blind man, a mad chase involving Usain Bolt powered robbers, a woman in flimsy nightwear and another languishing in the bath; what promise!

The attractive female lead is smitten by the man who invaded her boudoir in pursuit of a dangerous thief. As said man looks like Billy Bunter a quarter of a way through a weight watchers course I expect the movie makers stinted on the lighting. Even in broad unkind daylight her passion for the hero remains unflagging.

Meanwhile plots abound. Notorious criminal the Fox is after Bunter's aunt's jewels, he fails. Then Bunter announces that he and flimsy nightie lady are to marry which causes her guardian and his friend, the original choice for marriage to nightie lady, to entertain bad thoughts. See they've squandered thousands of dollars of their ward's money and once she marries she'll be expecting a mighty windfall, only the money tree is bare (unless she joins the DUP, 2017 election joke).

It then gets complicated if, like me, you've lost interest. There's a ball with lots of ladies in very pretty gowns and a failed kidnap sponsored by nightie lady's guardians which the Fox hears about and then muscles in on the action and people are two-timed and shot etc.

The most memorable moment is when bath lady, nightie lady's sister, declares how hunky (fat) Billy Bunter is and that his stunning manliness has induced her to tear up her autographed photo of Bing Crosby (google him).

The female lead retired from films not long after making this; after seeing this I almost retired from watching them.

The Final Option (1982)

Might is right

[2/10 · 30 June 2017]

Violence solves everything in this ham-fisted film. A bunch of left wing lunatics plan to end all war by potentially killing loads of Scots. In a nod to fairness they give the inhabitants of the Scottish town some 18 hours or so to evacuate before they demand the government drop a nuclear bomb on the area. Being left-leaning myself I couldn't countenance such an action without informing the RSPCA as well to ensure that no animals are hurt in this absurd attempt to force world peace on us all.

Our rabid right wing government, that Thatcher one remember, is in this situation because these lefties have a bunch of old men and their over-powdered wives at their mercy in the American Embassy. These lefty terrorists aren't real lefties because they shoot up CND signs at target practice so even those with a penchant for peace can take succour in the knowledge that these terrorists aren't really representative of the CND brigade.

Inevitably the SAS, the hard men of choice after their riotous escapade in the Iranian Embassy a few years before, are called in. Lewis Collins, auditioning for a role at Madame Tussauds, infiltrates the gang by seducing the main female terrorist played by frizzy haired Judy Davis. This is done so easily you marvel at the lack of ineptitude when it comes to actually plotting the taking of the Embassy. Even though Collins is discovered to be untrustworthy by the group they still take him along, in reality they'd have executed him. Their securing of the Embassy is neatly done but they have no idea how to hold the place successfully. Why didn't they bring gas masks, tear gas was hardly a new invention, did none of them foresee it being used? Again their inefficiency when the SAS break in is startling. There seems to be no plan for such an event. It then becomes a turkey shoot. Not one SAS man is shot so that the action lacks any tension as terrorists are blown away in seconds.

There's no emotional depth to the film. Collins never once flinches as he dispatches his former comrades. Did he develop no emotional attachment to any of the terrorists besides Davis? We know he has emotions because at the end he fails to blast Davis to hell, his commanding officer does it for him, rebuking him for his lax response in the face of death.

There's some comedy, albeit not scheduled I imagine. The hilarious exchange between Widmark and Davis is as profound as the film dares to get. It's the usual argument between the left and right over nukes. Simplistic it is but then if you listen to politicians you realise that you can't really expect debates so deep they'd leave Noam Chomsky dizzy. Sadly that sort of exchange is what you'd get if you left Jeremy Corbyn and Theresa May locked in a room for three hours with the sole topic of Trident to argue over.

More light relief is applied when there is a meeting at a hall attended by a thousand or so pacifists. It descends into a riot, strangely not caused by the anachronistic band who sound like a turgid offshoot of Thin Lizzy. Obviously the Redskins weren't available. It's like 2- Tone or punk never happened.

This film makes more missteps than a three-legged elephant in a dance hall.