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The Godfather Part II (1974)
The Masterpiece Above All Others
What is there to be said about the sequel to what many consider to be the greatest film of all time? "The Godfather: Part II" is a film unlike any other. From the seedy casinos of Nevada, to the revolution in Cuba, "The Godfather: Part II" chronicles the reign of Michael Corleone, acted to perfection by Al Pacino, over a massive criminal empire. Corleone's dealings with the manipulative and ruthless, but ailing, Hyman Roth, depicted by the masterful Lee Strasberg, are some of the best scenes captured on cinema. Roth is a weary, weathered old man, but he more than holds his own against the young, ambitious Michael Corleone. And how does one describe the character of Michael Corleone? Is he an evil killer that cares only about power, and will do anything to achieve it? Or is he a reluctant son, trying desperately to get out from under the enormous shadow of his father, but assailed on all fronts by enemies old and new? Perhaps both. The story of Michael Corleone in this film is a tragic one, without doubt. But his is not the only tale told in this masterpiece of cinema. The story of Vito Corleone, portrayed entirely in Sicilian by Robert De Niro, is interwoven with that of his son, and it is arguably as potent. A young Sicilian lad, orphaned by a violent Mafioso, Vito is smuggled off the island and to America. There, Vito is met with oppositions and struggles, and he overcomes them all to become the original Godfather. It is truly a journey, and shows the adversity that crafted a giant of a man.
"The Godfather: Part II" beats the odds, and somehow, in my opinion, manages to be a greater film than its predecessor. It is a massive, complex, dark, tragic, ambitious film, and it succeeds in everything it does. 10/10
The Pride of Jesse Hallam (1981)
A Touching Tale of Change
In TV movie "The Pride of Jesse Hallam", the late singer Johnny Cash plays the titular Jesse Hallam, an illiterate widower who moves to Cincinnati. Cash plays the character wonderfully, conveying the pride and frustration of an illiterate man living in a literate world. As the character searches for career opportunities in the big city, so he can support his struggling son and ailing daughter, his inability to read strikes him as it never has before, you can truly feel the man's great pain. He fights for his son, who also struggles to read, to remain in the tenth grade, and he supports his daughter as she undergoes spinal surgery. This film shows a character whose life is full of struggle and frustration, and it moves one to tears. As Hallam finally begins to learn, under the tutelage of a reluctant but enthusiastic school administrator, the joy, but caution, of a man so long denied that fundamental skill is palpable. There are not many words to describe this film, as it is quite simple, but terribly emotional. It is a tale of a man breaking from the bonds of circumstance, and becoming more than his forefathers. The greatest flaw of this film lies not in its content, but its production. The movie was a low-budget, made for television film, and it, at times, really shows. Never does it actively detract from the experience, but it warrants mention. Overall, this film explores the trials of an illiterate man, and his family, as he grows and changes towards a better future, and it is truly amazing.
Gone with the Wind (1939)
A Rarely Disputed Classic of the South
Gone With the Wind. A movie that has stood the test of time to prove that there are still people out there, normally perfectly reasonable people, that believe that a disgusting, repulsive, and manipulative woman such as our protagonist is a "model of feminism". Throughout this Civil War epic, we are treated to a glimpse into the life of "Southern Belle" Miss Scarlett O'Hara. A four hour glimpse, but a glimpse, nonetheless. Throughout this tale of love and passion, we watch our leading lady, played magnificently by Vivien Leigh, lust after a boyish man called Ashley. Miss Scarlett pleads, and begs, and manipulates herself into the arms of her love Ashley. But Ashley wants to marry Melanie, a character with so little emotion you would think she's a recovering crystal meth addict. Soon, the Yankee rascals attack Scarlett's simple home, a lavish mansion full to the brim with slaves who "just want the best for the white folk." Scarlett is forced on the road,where she takes refuge in Atlanta, which is then burnt to the ground. Scarlett meets Rhett Butler, a gentlemen pimp who runs a seemingly very successful brothel. They hit it off, but Scarlett still wants the now married Ashley. So, when the time is right, as the wife Melanie lies dying in the other room, Scarlett pounces on the grieving Ashley. What better time to seduce a young man than when his wife is near death next door? Well, that doesn't work for our model heroine, so she falls into the arms of Mr. Butler, where they proceed with a passionate love affair that ends with rape, pregnancy, death of the child, and Mr. Butler getting so fed up with his filthy wife that he leaves her. That ends our movie. Four hours after it started. And what better quote to end the movie than the awful "For tomorrow's a new day!" in regards to Scarlett having to rush to the train station to win back her turned off husband, the pimp, but being just a tad bit to late. Which means she never leaves the mansion. It is worth mentioning two characters: Mammy and Prissy. Mammy is actually a pretty fine woman, but Prissy, oh Prissy! The most annoying and high- pitched sack of dead weight you'll ever find in film. Who happens to be a slave that is beaten regularly by our protagonist.
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
A Mixture of Good and Bad
Conan the Barbarian is an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie based off a comic book, which I have never read. This movie starts with a monologue about steel which is neat and is referenced to a couple of times later in the movie. We are then introduced to a young Conan living with his family in a tiny little village. Raiders led by the powerful villain Thulsa Doom. Young Conan is spared and used as slave labor, where he grows up into body builder Arnold Schwarzenegger. Conan, now a cloud-like adult, is sold into a gladiatorial arena and learns to fight. He soon escapes and proceeds on his journey. This section of the movie features limited dialogue and large amounts of violence and gore, although the gore is very fake. Conan travels far and meets a witch. The witch seduces him and we get to watch them have graphic sex with lots of, um, noises. Conan, however, soon gets tired of witch wench and throws her into a fire, killing her. This is all fun, and Conan leaves a happy man. He meets a friend, who happens to be a thief, steals something from Thulsa Doom's snake cult, and meets the love of his life. He then has graphic sex with the love of his life. The three of them go out on an adventure to take down Thulsa Doom and his evil snake cult. They even meet Max von Sydow playing a king whose daughter was kidnapped by Thulsa Doom. They eventually hunt down Thulsa Doom, with the help of the narrator, a wizard. That brings me to the subject of the villain. In a gore and sex filled cheesy movie that marks one of Arnold's first big American movies, you have James Earl Jones himself as the evil sorcerer Thulsa Doom we've talked so much about. James Earl Jones actually gives a memorable, credible performance as the villain. It was rather surprising actually. Thulsa Doom is a frightening villain who uses sorcery and honeyed words to gather completely devoted followers to his cause. The rest of the movie consists of Conan and his friends hunting, and eventually killing, Thulsa Doom. Along the way, Arnold's lover dies, Arnold is crucified on the Tree of Woe, dies, is resurrected, and lights a tower on fire with a perfect throw of a torch. That's about it. It is worth mentioning, however, that the scene where Conan wreaks his revenge on Thulsa Doom is very entertaining, and worth the rest of the movie to see.
Army of Darkness (1992)
Oh my God! This movie really is good! Er, bad.
A cult classic, Army of Darkness is the sequel to the horror films Evil Dead and Evil Dead II. The protagonist, a chainsaw armed dealer of awesomeness, is transported back to medieval times, where he must kill an army of undead, and retrieve the Necronomicon to return home. What we get is a cheesy movie so bad, it's good. The quotes and one-liners alone are good enough to rate this movie an eight.
The characters are ridiculous, plot cheesy, and action gory, but there is not a single thing wrong with this movie. Except the part where he drinks boiling water. That part's not cool.
If you you're on the line about watching this movie, just buy it. Don't rent it, don't watch it on the internet, buy it. This movie is impossible to watch just once.
Green Lantern (2011)
Disappointing
This movie, like the character Green Lantern itself, has so much potential. A superhero capable of creating anything he can think up has almost limitless power. Superman could easily be defeated by a simple Kryptonite gun, Batman a simply gun, and all other superheros of the DC universe would be nothing against a hero with this kind of power. Yet for some reason we see our hero, Hal Jordan, conjuring up swords and bricks. The CGI is disappointing for such a high budget movie, especially with other superhero movies coming out with breathtaking visuals. The story is neat, but a lackluster performance from Ryan Reynolds, who thought of making this guy a superhero in the first place, ruins what the story could have had.
On the bright side, good performances by our antagonist Peter Sarsgaard and our supporting character Mark Strong provide much needed support for otherwise weak leads.
The ending is my second biggest problem with the movie, the first being Ryan Reynolds. The main character fends off the giant fear-beast long enough to lure the otherwise all-knowing and all-powerful creature into the sun, which they get to in 5 seconds flat. THE END! What? Could the writers come up with no creative ways to finish the movie? The hero finally gets himself an imagination and conjures up some super weapon that he uses to smote down the enemy maybe? NO! NO! NO! NO! He lures the creature into the sun, and its killed. Yippy, happy fun times.
Spider-Man 2 (2004)
Fantastic movie the sets the standard for all superhero movies.
This amazing Spider-Man film truly dominates the genre in my opinion. It uses clever comedy, morals, and action to tell a compelling story about a scientist driven mad by a crazed accident which leaves his wife dead and his mind in the control of a set of machine arms. The villain, like the first Spider-Man's Green Goblin, is a sympathetic character, forced to atrocity by a freak accident. You feel for Dr. Octopus, knowing he has to be defeated, but hoping that he gets away alive. Alfred Molina almost steals the show as Dr. Octopus, but one character really surprises the audience with her powerful performance.
Rosemary Harris plays Aunt May, Peter Parker's spirited yet wizened Aunt. Every scene she's in, she demands the audiences attention. She truly forces Peter Parker to come to terms with Uncle Ben's death, and pushes the film's major morals without being overbearing. A truly amazing performance.
Tobey Maguire has never been one of my favorite actors. I don't consider him a great actor, but in Spider-Man, he is perfect. He fits the role of Peter Parker like I never expected, being an avid lover of the original comic book. He captures the essence of the shy, intelligent kid that is suddenly thrust into this world of being a superhero. After showing us a great performance in the first Spider-Man, where he was overshadowed by the ever creepy Willem Dafoe, Tobey Maguire has truly sunk into the role of Peter Parker in this movie.
The two supporting characters, Mary Jane, played strongly by Kirsten Dunst, and Harry Osborn, portrayed by James Franco, who isn't really a very good actor most of the time, but pulls it out of the bag for this movie. They both provide strong support, Mary Jane as Peter Parker's love interest who is getting married to the son of J. Jonah Jameson, and Harry Osborn as Parker's best friend who's obsessed with finding and killing Spider-Man, who he thinks is responsible for murdering his father, the Green Goblin.
This outstanding movie sets the bar for superhero movies everywhere, and still gives the Spider-Man character hope after the mediocre Spider-Man 3 and the remake which I still refuse to see.
Total Recall (1990)
A great action movie that actually, god forbid, has a plot!
Let me start out by saying, wow! Arnold Schwarzenegger actually plays a convincing real person! Aside from his cloud-like body, where his arm takes up the entire screen with its muscular awesomeness, he convinced me that he was a regular construction worker with an intense desire to go to "maas" (Mars in Schwarzeneggerish). A, cliché words incoming, compelling and thought-provoking story centers around Arnold's character, Douglas Quaid, going to a company called Recall that provides fake memories of vacations, so he can take a vacation to Mars without having to make his wife unhappy. He chooses the popular "Secret Agent" theme for his vacation, but something goes wrong and he is thrust into a conspiracy, where he discovers that he is really a covert agent for a corrupt businessman who wants to control Mars's air supplies. It keeps you guessing until the end, with clever and intense scenes that will really make you wonder if Quaid is only playing out his Mars vacation at Recall, or if it is all real.
Finally, one cannot make a review of Total Recall without mentioning two things. One, the three-boobed prostitute mutant. This rather unexpected moment is both hilarious and philosophical. Weird isn't it? The second thing is Arnold's amazing one-liners. Don't make the mistake in thinking this isn't an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. Quips like "See you at the party, Richter!" and "Consider that a divorce!" are just the beginning of a pool of quotable lines.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
Strangely Entertaining
I'm still not sure why I like this movie. I consider myself an intellectual person who genuinely enjoys history, yet somehow I hugely enjoyed this film about Abraham Lincoln killing vampires with an ax. Somehow, through either mistake or brilliant design, the makers of this film made this movie serious. It was not a goofy comedy with terrible CGI and terrible acting. Don't be mistaken though, this is a cheesy movie. Seriously, it has Abraham Lincoln butchering vampires, Confederates using vampires as soldiers, and the Underground Railroad transporting silver bullets for the war effort. How can you get this mix right? Then again, how can it go wrong?
It, thankfully, did not go wrong. This clever movie interweaves real history with supernatural bad guys. And these are no sparkly Twilight vampires, these are the true hunters of the night. It left the true history buffs in my viewer party both entertained and intrigued. Hopefully, if you are good at suspending reality for a while, it will entertain you too.
Battleship (2012)
An awful movie worth watching only to laugh at.
This film rendition of the classic WWII board game of the same title was a step in the wrong direction to begin with. The game "Battleship" is a great turn-based, simple, and incredibly entertaining game that doesn't make sense as a film. A few references to the game, like the sailor calling out "B5!" or something like that when fighting the alien ship, and the alliance between the Japanese and American sailors, who were at odds in the game, provides some interesting laughs or smiles.
Beyond that, this movie is terrible. A horrible beginning introduces our lazy and irresponsible drunkard of a protagonist that lives with his brother the Naval Officer. Suddenly, our protagonist, not worthy of a memorable name, is in the Navy. He is also dating the daughter of an Admiral, shockingly played by Liam Neeson of all people, and he is trying to work up the courage to ask the Admiral for his daughter's hand in marriage. Aliens attack, absurd situations that allow our protagonists to live occur, and lame subplots ensue. Oh! I can't believe I forgot to mention Rihanna plays a forgettable role as some person in the navy that serves no purpose but to get teenage girls to watch the movie.
Murder, She Wrote (1984)
A great show with only a few minor problems.
"Murder, She Wrote" is a great show starring Angela Lansbury as Jessica Fletcher, a friendly mystery writer drawn into several murders that somehow pop up around her. This clever show is one of the few mystery shows that doesn't spell it out for you, but still allows the viewer to solve it with the characters. A plethora of interesting characters, some not quite properly developed, provides spice to the twelve seasons of the show.
The major drawback to the show is a simple one. The twelve seasons of this show, with a murder a piece, is extremely unrealistic. This woman must be either a killer magnet or a brilliant serial killer. This simple problem isn't that big of a deal, and often provides a bit of humor to a show that seriously risks becoming stale, but manages not to after twelve seasons.