gordean Reviews

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023)

Guy Ritchie has lost his flair

[3/10 · 21 March 2023]

Guy Ritchie has sadly lost his flair. Gone are the days of the innovative British Gangstar picture with such notable archetypes as Lock/Stock and Snatch. This movie is very mainstream and generic, with barely even a few moments of clever dialogue peppered throughout.

It almost seems like Statham knew this whilst filming and his impatience with a lackluster storyline actually comes through onscreen.

Other talents were... not wasted, but definitely not used to their potentials.

So, generic plot, generic bad guys, generic good guys, and generic denoument (which you'd be forgiven for missing), all sadly contribute to an unfortunately generic film.

Jim Jefferies: Intolerant (2020 TV Special)

Great entertainment and truly funny

[8/10 · 21 July 2022]

When people ask why I like Jim Jeffries, I tell them "It's not so much that he uses the word c**t a lot, but rather, he helps people realize that most comedians don't use the word enough." For an anecdotal comedian, he really is a reliable laugh.

American Experience: Riveted: The History of Jeans (2022) Season 34, Episode 1

Another hour long white apology

[1/10 · 14 February 2022]

The title is very attractive, but regrettably the substance is framed within a racial lens. It's disturbing that this was funded with taxpayer dollars and disappointing that the actual history of jeans and denim took up about 10 cumulative minutes-the rest was dedicated to differences in race and class. The brushed up against the tip of the iceberg of the 1960s, but shifted focus to the civil rights movement and landed on black rappers in the 90s. "People started actually verbalizing what everyone had known for a hundred years... that blue jeans are sexy" was one of the cringiest, most poorly timed and ridiculously canned moments in this disaster which I regrettably cannot recommend to anyone who's looking for a legitimate historical perspective on jeans or denim.

Spycraft (2020–2022)

Very poorly written and poorly narrated

[2/10 · 20 September 2021]

The narrator (and even some interview subjects) mispronounced so many basic words that it was really difficult to focus on the content, which, if you're an espionage or history buff, you most likely already know. The writing is so simplistic that it's almost condescending, except for when it makes ridiculous and basic mistakes like introducing retired intelligence officers and saying "so and so WAS a former intelligence officer." I'm not sure the writers realize that it's not necessary to say both "was" and "former" and that the combination actually negates their intent. At what point does our culture cease to be "dumbed down" and become just plain "dumb?" This series is convincing evidence we may have reached that tipping point already.

Wrath of Man (2021)

Disappointing reunion

[3/10 · 7 June 2021]

So, Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham together again. I found their reunion disappointing and cringey. The writing is awkward and tries to make every line memorable, but it actually does the exact opposite and makes them awkward. The plot is frankly nothing new, and it seems like minimal effort was put into the storytelling aspect of this one. It was entertaining, but lacked the cleverness I've come to appreciate from Ritchie's crime dramas.

Uncut Gems (2019)

Good character study, lackluster narrative

[3/10 · 22 December 2019]

Adam Sandler is awesome in this, but the plot is one big cluster jam. The voice and his degenerate behavior (maybe something different about his teeth too?) really drive home a stellar transformation.

Unfortunately, it all unraveled in about one second and I felt like I'd wasted my time throughout the entire first 99% of the movie. Really disappointing plot turns and denouement. I'm not sure how a serious actor read this treatment and thought it was a good idea, but there you have it.

Line of Duty (2019)

Cringe to the max

[2/10 · 17 November 2019]

Aaron Eckhart is great to watch, but he couldn't save this one from major cringe factors. The two female internet reporters are so clichéd and every single line they uttered made me cringe to the max. They really added nothing to the plot, nor did the entire media narrative element of this story. What's the takeaway? The media are terrible? Or great? Or all women reporters are...? I honestly don't know what the point of it all was. Even the big bad network anchor-another disappointing female character-made me roll my eyes every second she was onscreen because she and everything around her were just so unbelievable. I suspect the executive producers had a hand in injecting some female characters in what might have otherwise been an entertaining action flick; they ruined it. Aaron Eckhart is the one who got the short end of the stick on this. I hope he got paid well.

The Da Vinci Code (2006)

And I thought the book was disappointing!

[3/10 · 21 May 2006]

And I thought the book was disappointing! Well I've now got a newfound appreciation for it despite its horrific writing style--all it took was seeing the movie!

Let me preface the remainder of this review by noting that I do not abide by Catholicism and was not offended by the story's subject matter--if anything, I was disappointed that the "secret" was essentially a puff of hot air and, in the real world, would never muster enough attention to threaten the Catholic church.

For the "biggest movie of the summer" this has got to be one of the worst. I read the book about three days before the film's release and, admittedly, was quite disappointed with it. The film however, makes the book look like a Pulitzer Prize winner.

Tom Hanks was an awful choice. His makeup was in poor taste and his wardrobe lacked the intellectual feel Langdon *should* give off. His on-screen chemistry with Audrey Tautou just wasn't there. Most of their scenes--and hence the bulk of the film--felt awkwardly acted. The production value also seemed oddly low for a book boasting over 40 million copies sold; It's as if the producers felt the second-rate book deserved a second-rate screen adaptation or they had simply spent their budget hiring Ron Howard and Tom Hanks.

Let's face it: Screen writers add and remove elements when adapting a screenplay from a novel. In this case it is painfully obvious that their choices were not entirely prudent. The most obvious case was the initial scene in the Louvre which was insultingly short and suspense-free. The scene at Rosslyn was equally strange and poorly acted/directed--the dialogue was embarrassingly awkward.

Wait for the DVD and avoid the long lines and protesters who are unable to distinguish between entertainment and a threat to reality!

The Grudge (2004)

If you liked "The Ring"...

[3/10 · 31 December 2004]

... then you'll love this movie too! Cheap creeps and sound effects do most of the scaring, along with no real denouement help to make this one of the worst movies I've seen. But then again I use "The Exorcist" as the paradigm of horror films by which all else are compared. Do yourself a favor and borrow this one from a friend if you must, otherwise avoid it altogether. SM Gellar doesn't have much of a chance to shine in this one, neither does Bill Pullman (or any of the "main" characters for that matter). The script may well have been decent, but Hollywood effects succeeded in turning this screenplay into a great big nothing. Come to think of it, there isn't even a discernible plot and the characters are nothing but clichés.