deancapetanelis Reviews

Red Light, Green Light: Meeting Strangers (1965)

Children Beware!

[10/10 · 5 February 2024]

I saw this in second grade back in the early 70's and it scared me from ever talking to strangers again. Which has really made life difficult since I work in sales. I'm pretty sure this film is why Generation X drives their kids everywhere and never lets them out of their sight. Like some parents even show up with their kid at job interviews. That's some messed up parenting. Anyway, my Baby Boomer parents had to be reminded by the TV that I even existed. Now this movie was already 10 years old when I saw it but there wasn't much difference in consumer technology and fashion between the two decades. It looked just as fresh in 75 as it probably did when it came out in 65. As for the message, I think it was if a stranger touches you, you should stop drop and roll and if you catch fire run and tell an adult.

All in the Family (1971–1979)

The beginning of the end.

[10/10 · 19 October 2022]

Archie Bunker was made to be the villain unfairly. Liberal scumbag Norman Lear knew he'd make money making conservatives out to be racists. It's the protoplasmic miasma that evolved into wokeness. All Archie wanted was to see his daughter marry into prosperity and have her own family, make enough money to be comfortable at the end of the day and be left alone. He was constantly goaded by people who should have been allies into saying stupid racist stuff.

That's about all I have to say but it seems like there's some third grade nanny software that demands a word count that's not as succinct as is possible.

Chief Zabu (1988)

Zack Norman is Sammy in Chief Zabu

[8/10 · 5 December 2020]

For what seemed like years page 6 of Variety had a small ad tucked in the bottom corner of just a head shot and the tagline "Zack Norman is Sammy in Chief Zabu". The ad would go on to underscore just how hit and miss the movie business can be. Chief Zabu ended up a rough cut seen at a few private showings before spending decades in a can on some dusty shelf. Had they released it in the 80's it would have gotten lost in a sea of action movies and lived it's life as a videocassette rental from Blockbuster. It's a great script. Some very talented actors play off each other giving the characters a rich depth. It's beautifully shot and evokes the 80's the way they were without being heavily stylized. It's not the 80's of Patrick Nagel, Cocaine and Desperately Seeking Susan. It's the 80's of Cagney and Lacy or Family Ties. It's also not finished and it shows. It breaks the rule of just because you shot it doesn't mean it needs to be on screen. One example is the guards at Skip's mansion. It feels like they spent a day shooting all these interactions hoping for one good one for the movie and then since they had them, every one ended up in the film to stretch it out from the 50 good minutes they had to get to what the Screen Actors Guild would consider a feature length film. This comes at the expense of scenes that feel missing. What happens when the delegates from Toboraku go to the French Consulate? You see them walking through Manhattan, they go into the consulate. It seems like there's a very important scene missing. Exactly like putting a gun on the table in the first act. There are other scenes that are missing. The UN vote that the whole film revolves around is never shown. Perhaps these scenes were never meant to be shot and in a more complete film would never be missed. What is clear is that the film although brilliant in concept and performance is unfinished. Even though it's not a whole film, it's fun to finally see Zack Norman play Sammy in Chief Zabu.

#Nudes (2020)

#CRAP

[1/10 · 2 December 2020]

If you call your movie #NUDES put some naked people in it or be interesting. I could accept the bait and switch if the switch didn't suck.

The Reunion (II) (2011)

I've seen worse.

[6/10 · 12 January 2020]

Script is part old hack and part OK that's kind of new. The actors are all much better than this. The director did nothing wrong. I just get the feeling that this was an extended screen test to see if someone could make a movie. Then the studio threw together a budget that would have been great in the 80's but totally failed in today's dollars. It doesn't suck but ehhhh....

C.H.U.D. (1984)

I'm suprised it held up well.

[10/10 · 20 September 2019]

A lot of horror movies don't age well. Times change, palates mature. This is one of the movies I loved as a teenager when it first came out. We recorded it off HBO or whatever channel it was on and watched it over and over until something else came along. I watched it again and I was a little apprehensive. I was afraid it didn't age well. I didn't want to end up like Jay Gatsby disappointed that Daisy is no longer the pretty young girl he knew in Louisville. I'm happy to report that it's still pretty good for B movie.

There's a bunch of great actors on their way up in it. A bunch of veteran actors on their way down too. Casting is actually much better than a B movie deserves. That's I think why it holds up.

It's so refreshing to see a horror movie that doesn't have the dropped cellphone or the I-don't-have-a-signal-do-you conversation. More cliche' than a car that has trouble starting. There are a bunch of slapping the flashlight when the batteries die after 2 minutes which even in the 80's you could get a couple hours out of a flashlight.

It's refreshingly free of CGI animation. Everything done with makeup in camera. If you're a kid today it's going to be like watching black and white silent movies were to me. If you're Generation X, it's like going home to a room full of radioactive mutants ripping your flesh apart. Just good old fashioned fun.

Future World (2018)

The Citizen Kane of sukery

[1/10 · 13 August 2019]

I don't know why so many people hate on this movie. It's a master class in how to make a crappy movie. It's proof that no matter how good the actor, if the script and director have no business making movies no star can save it. Hopefully as it gets more notice on Amazon Prime or basic cable Hollywood will finally admit that a good movie has to come from a good script. Maybe it'll take down the star system and the sourced from other successful properties system and we'll start seeing decent movies again. Probably not but I can dream.

This Island Earth (1955)

The Magnum Opus of Cheesy 50's Science Fiction

[10/10 · 1 June 2019]

I came here to ask if anyone else noticed that when Dr Meacham flies from Washington DC to Los Angeles he passes through Chicago, then flies through what looks like the Sierra Nevadas during the summer, down to the Grand Canyon back up to the Rockies in winter then finally lands in LA.

Slender Man (I) (2018)

Tedious

[1/10 · 24 March 2019]

And slow

I don't really have anymore to say but I can't leave a three word review.

So instead of a review I'll just say the HBO documentaryabout the girls who went crazy in real life and are now in mental institutions so much more chilling and compelling story.

Million Dollar Mile (2019)

Hmmm...

[5/10 · 9 March 2019]

Who knew? Turns out The Running Man was a documentary.

Zombeavers (2014)

Not the worse thing I've ever seen

[10/10 · 6 August 2018]

10 stars because it really is better than the 4.8 stars it has right now. It's actually a much better film than it's low budget looks would belie. Shut your brain off and just enjoy it for the so bad it's good B movie it is. I would definitely enjoy the sequel hinted at after the credits and Courtney Palm is definitely an actress I would like to see more from.

Lucky You (2007)

It's not Citizen Kane or The Godfather but it's not bad.

[7/10 · 16 January 2018]

I was surprised at how easy it was to like this movie. It's a simple romance picture with Drew Barrymore who is always delightful to watch. It's also a father and son rivalry picture. The cast all show up with their A game and despite a very formulaic script they entertain. Horatio Sanz and Robert Downy Jr deliver some very underrated performances. Robert Duval owns every scene he's in. If I was one of the other actors on this set I would have been learning at the feet of a master every chance I got. Frankly if Duval wasn't in it I would probably have turned it off but my bet paid off with a light little film that killed a couple hours nicely.

The Racing Scene (1969)

Great Film Footage

[7/10 · 7 August 2016]

This is the kind of documentary best saved for a rainy day when there is literally nothing else to watch. It can be slow moving at times. There's also a raw grittyness to it that distracts from the story. Many shots, especially at the beginning, are hand-held and very shaky. The film literally follows James Garners interactions with the cars. There is almost no mention of what else Garner had going on in his life. There's no sense of how Garner balanced racing with the rest of his life. There's no sense of how Garner interacted with the team off the track. It may well be that Garner simply wrote checks and showed up on race day. That's not a very compelling story.

If you're not into cars there might not be much for you here. If you are into cars then the race track footage from the drivers perspective and the track side footage of one hell of a crash make it worth seeing.

Chernobyl Diaries (2012)

I can't tell if I hated this movie or not.

[5/10 · 28 May 2012]

Loved it when it was called the Hills Have Eyes. Passable acting. I really wanted to see it because since Call of Duty Modern Warfare I've been fascinated with Pripyat. I'm sure the setting will attract much attention. But there were so many hokey animals jumping out at you scares that they started to fall flat. I found myself wondering when the movie would end which is never a good sign. Like I said in the summary, I couldn't tell if I liked this movie or not. My wife felt the same way walking out of the film. Some might compare this to Blair Witch in it's low budget reliance on people talking about what is happening without actually showing it. Also, there is no stinger after the credits.

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

Can the undead commit suicide?

[10/10 · 11 January 2006]

It's hard to blend comedy and horror and pull them both off. Twenty years before Shawn of the Dead made a zombie invasion chilling and funny Return of the Living Dead set the blueprint. This film plays back and forth between comedy and horror as if watching a tennis match but without losing the audience or feeling formulaic. That there are already 20 pages of user comments for a low budget film which the studio almost aborted shows how beloved this film is. However it's more then just entertainment it's a character study of what it's like to be undead. Although the film paints the cast in fairly one dimensional terms it treats the zombies with care and respect. These zombies are high functioning, alert and amazingly spry. Yes, there's the famous scene where one zombie orders up more policemen on the radio. There's also a scene where the living hold a conversation with the upper torso of one of the zombies and we discover why they want brains. This scene is more then just slightly reminiscent of the one in Independence Day where the president talks with a dead alien. The most poignant scene comes when we find out if it's possible for a zombie to commit suicide. At every step of the way the characters have a chance to fix things but only end up making it worse. Only Frank with his trip to the oven truly redeems himself. His sacrifice coming after he's pronounced dead by the EMT's again underscores how much more enlightened the dead can be.

Is this film art? You bet. It has foreshadowing, drama, genuine pathos and follows the Greek tragedy formula of taking place within one revolution of the sun. Is this film great? Again, yes. It really injected life into the horror genre with faster more cerebral zombies. Will this film change the world? No not really. Just sit back and enjoy.

Wind (I) (1992)

Awful movie. Great sailing photography.

[6/10 · 28 November 2005]

How can you make a great movie about sailing and then shoot half of the film in the desert? The short answer is you can't. If you love sailing and love watching sailboats this movie offers you all the sights and sounds of racing however marred by the occasional bit of inane prattling dialog. If you prefer your movies to not have a patronizing plot you've come to the wrong place. Maybe I just hate when Hollywood gets their hands on an action film but has to add in backstory that includes a bad love story. Thinking they need a love story to get the female audience to see it. It's a formula that seems to suck all the life out of the script and distill it down to pretty photography and vapid characters. Mathew Modine turns in a decent performance despite the garbage they have him saying. Jennifer Grey on the other hand plays it like she's still Baby stuck in that corner. She really should have approached her character as if she was playing Ferris Beullers sister. Clift Robertson turns in a performance so dull and un-inspiring one would hope the Academy would take back that Oscar for "Charly" as a warning for future actors to not phone it in. My advice is to watch it for the sailing with one finger on the FF button for every other scene.

Gregory's Girl (1980)

Romantic Comedy

[8/10 · 28 November 2005]

This film is one of a series of romantic comedies filmed by Bill Forsyth in and around Scotland featuring young Scottish actors (and the occasional American). Gregory's Girl is a poignant coming of age film about a boys first falling in love and how surreal and unexpected that moment can be. Although the film is full of directors in jokes one doesn't need to be fully versed in the directors full catalog to appreciate the humor. I love the two boys who convince themselves that they'll find dates if they move to South America. I love Gregory's answer to the question about being able to drive "No but it runs in the family". That Gregory doesn't end up dating the girl he thinks but ends up with the girl he least expects happens to us all. That makes this movie timeless. Yet despite all the romance, the film is by no means a chick flick. There's plenty of honest humor and compelling story telling to keep even the most restless guy interested in the film.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978 TV Movie)

Must See TV

[10/10 · 24 November 2005]

There's an old saying that a boy doesn't become a man until he does three things, share a beer with his dad, spend a night in jail and make love to a woman. Well now there are three things a boy must do in order to become a Nerd, build their own computer, watch William Shatner sing Rocket Man and watch The Star Wars Holiday Special. Until then he's just a geek.

I know "Must See TV" was an NBC slogan and the SWHS was originally on CBS but the sentiment is still the same. This absolute train wreck truly is "Required Viewing for all members of the Imperial Forces". Nothing I can say about this hasn't already been said before but I do add my voice to the choir when I say you can't call yourself a Star Wars fan if you haven't hunted down even a tiny Realmedia file and watched this farce at least once.

Star Wait (2005)

Nothing like Trekkies.

[7/10 · 20 November 2005]

OK so I saw this DVD at Target for three bucks and thought well you couldn't even rent it at that price so I'd be a fool not to buy it. What is it? It's a bare bones look at the lives some people lived out while waiting in line for a movie. Now OK some folks will think Fanboy or Geek or Nerd and dismiss these people as fools for sleeping on the sidewalk along Hollywood Blvd. Not me, I find them fascinating. Fascinating in the same way I find Phish Phans or Baby Boomers living in converted school buses following the Grateful Dead around North America fascinating. I like people who are into their own thing and don't care who knows.

These are raw nerds in their native habitat doing the nerd things they'd be doing whether the camera was there or not. The film captures this. That the film doesn't go into the whole Star Wars fan scene all over the country might disappoint people who think the documentary "Trekkies" is high culture. The film is not about Star Wars it's about people who want to see Star Wars in a particular theater on opening day. And that's what the film delivers.

Ghost Ship (2002)

Shining on the water

[8/10 · 10 October 2005]

Despite the fact that it seems every bit of this movie was cribbed from other great horror films I liked this film a lot. This is a great horror film despite the fact that it's chock full of standard horror film boilerplate. Clocks that suddenly stop ticking when you look at them, little girls in party dresses, ghosts rising up out of the misty waters aren't anything you haven't seen before. Possessed people are locked up and meet their supernatural doom when no one is looking. Ghosts are visible in the mirror but not in the room. But it all fits together nicely to give the audience a generally creepy feeling. Wheat and chaff separate nicely and we're left with the scariest bits of horror in a paella of terror. OK I stretched that one. If you've seen enough horror to know what bits of Carnival of Souls Kubrick ripped off to make The Shining this movie won't offer anything new. But it's a fun hour and a half if you haven't.

My Uncle (1958)

Some of the funniest scenes ever (possible spoilers)

[10/10 · 26 September 2005]

What can you say about a genius? That Tati was so funny his material was still funny after Benny Hill ripped it off. That Tati was so funny that his material was still funny after Jerry Lewis ripped it off. Mon Oncle often takes on the look of old home movies with static shot after static shot. It's the action in the frame that takes the film beyond cinema and into genius. Watch the wife complete her husbands outfit in the morning, just a camera on a tripod but hilarious. I think the funniest scene in the whole movie comes early on when a small dog growls at Hulot's grocery purchase. I also love the secretary whose dress is so tight she can't walk.

Tati as everyman trying to find his way in the modern world plays it straight as he bumbles everything up at his brothers factory. Make no mistake this film is about technology and mankind's inability to control it. But it's also a film about life in Paris after the war and how the new generation is leaving the old behind. Shiny new American cars outnumber the horse drawn wagon but haven't quite replaced it yet. Shiny new houses and office towers replace the city tenement blocks with their ramshackle floors built on top of each other. The old Paris is beginning to disappear and the new is just sliding in. That it's a comedy is obvious but strip away the laughter and you get a documentary about change.

Funny Ha Ha (2002)

Boston... Land of the angry brunettes

[6/10 · 9 September 2005]

Sitting through this movie is just like the tedium of actually trying to find a date in Boston. This movie, much like most of the city of Boston is populated by men who can't find a date and the women who don't want to date them. So OK, the director basically held a mirror up to my early 20's when I was that underemployed guy sleeping on the floor on a foam pad with my girlfriend in that little Queensbury Street studio apartment. So OK it really is not a very forgiving city when you're single and lonely. Unfortunately in this film there is no real story worth caring about. Some shallow people do shallow things hoping no one notices how shallow they are by punctuating every movement with witty pseudo-intellectualism. Again, just like living in Boston. So for that I applaud the director. He really captured the Hub at its grittiest. That and the film is so refreshingly free of production values. It's like looking at old home movies of people you once cared about but have since outgrown.

Desperate Man Blues (2003)

There goes a happy man

[7/10 · 7 September 2005]

Every one has a place in this world, their reason d'etre. Some folks take years to find theirs and some never do. The happiest folks are the ones who've found their place early on and have arrived at a time where they can look back and appreciate what they've done. This short documentary is about a man who found his slice of life and is able to share and enjoy with all who will listen. That makes for an uplifting tale that's all sweetness and empty calories. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the snack but long for a more complete meal. The film portrays one side of a very simple man and yet I walked away from this film caring more about the music then I did about the man who collected it.

Rendezvous (1976)

Amazing Ride

[10/10 · 18 June 2005]

I just saw the Ralph Lauren car exhibit at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. In the gift shop they had this movie on a loop. I'm ashamed to say I paid close to thirty dollars for a 9 minute DVD but that's a testament to how amazing this film is. Who cares if the car doesn't get into all 5 gears or that it isn't going as fast as it seems. It's still an amazing piece of film footage. Once you see it you'll know where they got some of the inspiration for the video games GTA and Midnight Club. I swear I've seen imitations of some of the footage in those games. This film should have been one of the ones mentioned at the beginning of 'The Player' where the security guy is talking about long single takes in movies during the long opening shot. I'm going to go watch it again.

I'd like to add, now that I've seen Ronin I know where Frankenheimer got some of his inspiration.

The Stunt Man (1980)

No cgi

[29 April 2005]

If you hate computer enhanced visual effects as much as I do and really appreciate the traditional art of film-making this movie borders on the documentary. Here we have a film about making a film that gives up all of its tricks as it goes. There are shots explaining how the next shot is going to be filmed and then you see the shot as it's being filmed. Willing suspension of disbelief plays maddening tricks on you as you know you're watching a scene being filmed and yet forget that there's a film crew sitting right where you are that is filming what you see. In fact there are scenes where you can clearly see the fill in stuntman taking the place of our actor stuntman who is taking the place of our actor. And then we watch the dailies and see that the scene was filmed in what the French call "the American night" or we know it as 'day for night'. A subtle dig at the Truffault film released at the start of this same decade and loosely based on the same story.

And Barbara Hershey is really hot.