When I saw the trailer for this film, I dismissed it as obnoxious. Who wants to go see another movie teaching men how to get away with cheating right? Apparently it wasn't marketed heavily by the studio and it didn't take it long to get to Netflix, where I had the opportunity to give this film the chance I didn't initially give it. It turned out not to be what I thought it was going to be at all and I'm glad I watched it. This is a very clever Whodunnit with subtle misdirection, few absolutes, and no clear heroes or villains. It deftly illustrates the shades of gray within morality. I would've thought the writer or director was a woman scorned, because it shined a harsh light of truth on the natures of a varied spectrum of married male personality types, their passive aggressive anger, their repressed hostility and the ways in which some of these types justified different levels of betrayal against and abuses of, the women in their lives. Literally every crappy thing men do to women within relationships, and friends do to each other, was in this film, but nobody, not even the wives, mistresses and prostitutes were completely innocent. Plenty of stereotypes, but few archetypes and I liked it that way.
Reviews
7 Reviews
The Joke's On You!
24 April 2009
If there is anybody left out there who doesn't recognize this as parody, you're either incredibly ignorant about film, and everything connected to it, or incredibly dense. Come...On! Watch it again, and pay attention this time! Let's start, as the trailer does, with Gore Vidal, one of the most esteemed historical writers of our generation. Why would someone of his caliber seriously license a film that is blatant, gratuitous pornography? Think about it. The first "Caligula" was controversial in it's portrayal of debauchery and violence (mild by today's standards), but at least it was an accurate chronicle of Caligula's life and times, based on research of the documentation. Next, think about what you know of Hollywood, how many films get made that feature a cast dominated by middle aged actresses, some of them has-beens? Although I personally love all these grand dames, let's be real here! Where are the young, anorexic contract starlets that studios demand (like Megan Fox, Elisha Cuthbert, Diane Kruger etc.)? The pretty effeminate young male stars (Zach Ephron)? The only thing not crusty and old in this trailer is Milla Jovovich, and she is known to have a hearty sense of humor. Speaking of casting, what director, who wasn't a complete idiot, with a deathwish for his own career, would cast Courtney Love in a dramatic lead? First we have to buy the lie that Gore Vidal would allow his historical story to be altered so radically as to change the gender of his lead character, and then that the character was a homely, high and tasteless woman (albeit a very talented musician). Courtney Love is suitable for a few bit roles in films, and the lead in only one type of film, a documentary about her own life! Now think about the FCC and the MPAA. We've seen human heads exploding on screen, human body parts juiced in a blender and force fed to a woman, but we've barely seen 10 films out in the last 10 years with full frontal male nudity. The rating a film gets has a direct correlation to it's box office value. It's highly unlikely any studio would fund a film that is guaranteed to garner an "X" rating (one that shows oral copulation with a dildo, using semen as skin cream, and worse), when the biggest movie-going audience is teen aged and unable to get in to see it at the theater. Finally, this trailer is a testament to the fact that Hollywood is aware of just how morally bereft the American viewing public perceives them to be. They know that we believe they would "go there". Thank goodness that somebody there still has a conscience and wouldn't. They're just having some fun, at our expense.
The Curse of the Komodo
(2004)
Possibly The WORST Film Ever Made! A Complete Waste of Time!
7 March 2009
Is Jim Wynorski kidding us? This is so bad, that calling it a "B" movie, insults the genre. If there is such a category, this is definitely a "Z" movie, and not in a way that it's so bad, it's good, either. Most of those "guilty pleasures" films are at least comical. This is so inane, you can't even laugh, because you're stunned at the lack of everything that makes a film worth making and watching. First, the casting is atrocious, not a fledgling actor among the whole lot of them. Some casting agent must be banging soft-core porn actress, Glori Ann Gilbert, for her to have been cast, as she may possibly be the worst, most dimwitted actress of all time. Just peruse her filmography on IMDb and you'll get the picture. Perhaps "Curse of the Komodo" was a 3-fer picture deal with "The Breastford Wives" and "The Witches of Breastwick" and that's why it's so awful. Second, the dialog is silly, smarmy, exaggerated, ridiculous, etc. I could go on for days with adjectives describing how deficient it is. The writer must really harbor contempt for the audience, since this is possibly the most moronic dialog, I've ever heard. Third, speaking of deficient, how about the plot? What plot? What little there is isn't even good enough to be cliché sci-fi/horror flick plot. Here's an example of the nonsense. As the genetically engineered, giant Komodo dragon looms over the group of characters, one character says "he can smell us, but he can't see us. We're too close." Then then female lead runs away from the group, and the dragon. Apparently she's not bright enough to run to safety. This bimbo runs just far enough away so that the dragon can see her, and she's backed up to a tree, with nowhere else to go. Then she cowers down against the tree as though she's thinking "if I make myself very small, the monster won't eat me". She jumps out of the frying pan into the fire! Then she worsens the situation by shooting at the dragon with a pea shooter, annoying him. How clever, and we're supposed to believe this woman is the type who can survive a situation like this? One of the characters is bitten by the Komodo and left for dead by the group. He pops up later, after having morphed into cannibalistic, reptile brained zombie ala "Dawn of the Dead", "28 Days Later" and "Resident Evil". He jumps out, makes them pee their pants, and they shoot him all to hell. Finally, the end really ticked me off, because it made it glaringly apparent that the writers didn't do their research, on the species they were exploiting in the film. In the finale, just as the last characters think they have escaped, and are on the beach awaiting their rescue transport, a gang of Komodos come toward them, THE END. Hello? Komodos are solitary creatures, they track prey by scent for days, ALONE! They're an ANCIENT species of reptile, that adapted and escaped the last mass extinction. Their brains aren't sophisticated enough to communicate to each other and launch an attack en masse, much less storm the beach to get their prey!
Slow Burn
(2005)
Not A Matter of Concentration, A Matter of Tedium
16 April 2007
This is not about concentration. Nor is it about having enough film savvy or cleverness to figure out obscure themes and subplots in films, after all, some of us are David LYNCH fans and enjoy decoding and detangling films as though they are mazes. Those films are at least vibrant and colorful enough to maintain the interest of a BINGO audience. They have characterization, plot, action, theme, etc. We have become accustomed to the complexity of flashbacks and out-of-sequence story lines. We loved "Pulp Fiction", "Memento", "Traffic", and "21 Grams", but a film should not be so chaotic, disorderly, and cluttered with digressive subplots that you can't determine the main theme of the film. When films do this, they are simply exercises in mental masturbation for a self aggrandizing filmmaker and are not interesting to the rest of us. We are not all falling asleep because we have Attention Deficit Disorder. Some of us are really laid-back and low key, with excellent concentration skills, and are detail oriented to a fault. We are falling asleep because the film simply doesn't have any action to move it forward. Its boring, frustrating, and tedious. I mean after all, both Theoretical Mathmaticians and Avant-Garde Poets find what they do equally interesting, neither is more valid than the other. A film needs to be interesting enough to appeal to some audience within the range between them, this film is not, does not.
The Hillz
(2004 Video)
Look Past The Lack Of Experience To The Potential
15 January 2007
Wow, I had the opposite reaction to this film. I expected to see rehashed, politically correct, moralizing garbage was pleasantly surprised to see a high-impact, kinetic film, with a satisfying story, acted by amateurs with a break out potential. Most Hollywood films today leave me unsatisfied because of the Peacenik Liberal bias. What should happen doesn't, and nobody get whats coming to them. I am sick to death of simpering films made by aged Commie Hippies. It makes me crave films like "Death Wish". I'm not sure if this was an Indie or studio film but it was every bit as good as some was the critically acclaimed Indies like "Thirteen", "Havoc", "Bully", and "Kids". I can't applaud Rene Heger "Duff" enough. First of all, the kid is gorgeous. He has Brad Pitt looks and Adrien Brody talent. This kid is Stella Adler trained and shows a raw, mean masculinity that reminds me of Paul Newman in "Hud". Mark my words, if he doesn't die young like River Phoenix, he will be a huge star. Heger is the next DiCaprio, only more mannish. Jesse Woodrow "Steve 5" also gave a fantastic performance and voice over. The rapport between these two young actors was believable and moving. As for Paris, it was her best so far. Thats not saying much since all her other stuff is so bad, but at least she is no longer unwatchable. She'll grow, get better, and learn to stop being "Paris Hilton" when she is supposed to be portraying a character.
Art Heist
(2004)
Pompeo Belongs With Merchant/Ivory. Baldwin Needs A Haircut. Bad!
26 September 2006
I don't get it. Ellen Pompeo is dynamic and moving on Grey's Anatomy. What happened? Perhaps its the ensemble she has been placed among. I know why she was cast and what makes this woman is so appealing. This woman has amazing eyes. Even if she wore absolutely no makeup, she would look beautiful and wholesome. I think she belongs in a period piece, a costumer. In a Victorian era film, where the dialog is snappier and the physical acting is more restrained she might fare better.
In any case, Billy Baldwin needs to do something with the hairdo he has been sporting in his last few films. Its like he knows that his early 90s, long in the front, short in the back style is too dated to appear in a film with (not to mention, too young and surfer-dude for him), so he slicks it back which looks even more dated, and a little creepy like Gomez Addams. Baldwin needs to close crop that hair for once, like in a war movie. He has the most interesting face of the Baldwin brood, I just wish he would learn how to act with it.
In any case, Billy Baldwin needs to do something with the hairdo he has been sporting in his last few films. Its like he knows that his early 90s, long in the front, short in the back style is too dated to appear in a film with (not to mention, too young and surfer-dude for him), so he slicks it back which looks even more dated, and a little creepy like Gomez Addams. Baldwin needs to close crop that hair for once, like in a war movie. He has the most interesting face of the Baldwin brood, I just wish he would learn how to act with it.
Catwoman
(2004)
CatWoman, Pleasantly Surprised, Better Than Expected, Bashing The Film Is All About Flavor Of The Month Popularity
11 August 2004
Its a miracle that Halle Berry's "Catwoman" ever got made when you consider how long it has been since Eartha Kitt played Catwoman in "Batman". Especially when you consider the interval between Eartha Kitt as Catwoman and the next person of color to play a comic book character, Micheal Jai White as "Spawn". Slap that evil Halle's wrist! How dare that uppity girl get above herself and think that she could possibly attempt to present a positive female role model/super heroine for little girls of color, much less to all the little girls of America. I went to see the film with abnormally low expectations. What with all the enormous negative hype about how terribly awful the film was, how could I have any other expectations? What I saw was an average comic book superhero film, better than some, but certainly no less, than any other comic book superhero film. It had a typical comic book superhero film plot (there is a bad guy/girl, there is a good guy/girl, the bad guy/girl kills, kills the loved ones of, or maims the innocent good guy/girl, the good guy/girl forms an alter-ego with super powers and uses them to destroy the guilty bad guy/girl), it had a positive message about female empowerment, finding your own voice, and a female who did not necessarily choose a male and a relationship with a male over her own independence (how dare Halle relate what she has learned from her own life experiences!), and my 5 year old niece understood and loved it. There was no sex, gratuitous nudity, or graphic violence that I felt would necessitate explanation. There was even a little anthropology lesson about Bast, an ancient Egyptian cat goddess. When I think of how dark, dingy, and disgusting all the "Batman" films were, how sappy and sickening the "Spiderman" films were, how unwatchable "Phantom", "The Shadow", "Unbreakable", "The Hulk", and "Daredevil" (need I go on?) were, I must say, I was pleasantly surprised by "Catwoman", it was better than expected. And what is wrong with marketing a comic book superhero movie for little girls? What is wrong with little girls having a comic book super heroine to look up to? Why does a comic book superhero film necessarily have to be marketed to adult comic book enthusiasts? Have we forgotten that most of us began reading comic books as children and that, except for a small counter-culture of adult enthusiasts, it really is a child's realm of imagination? I happen to like Halle Berry. When I look back at how far she has come with her acting career, from playing a stripper opposite Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans in "The Last Boy Scout" or a crack addict opposite Samuel L. Jackson and Wesley Snipes in "Jungle Fever" to producing and starring in "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge" (my own childhood heroine as well as hers)and standing on the Academy Awards stage accepting the Oscar for "Monster's Ball" with the most tear jerking speech I have every heard given at the Academy Awards, I am exceptionally proud.In an industry where a woman of color has never won "Best Actress" ever until 2001 and where there was an eleven year gap since the last woman of color won "Best Supporting Actress", Halle Berry is a small miracle. The reviews of "Catwoman" have nothing to do with how good or bad the film actually is and everything to do with who or what it is popular to bash at the moment. Its all about who is the flavor of the month.
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