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Reviews
Creature (1985)
This Isn't Worth Anyone's Time
A real piece of crap. I remember finally reaching my breaking point while trying to endure a multiplex viewing of this abomination. One of the things I was sorry to see in it was Klaus Kinski wasting his time, but after reading his IMDb bio, I understand now. Enough was enough, and I walked out into the lobby and politely as possible asked an usher if I could slip into the theater next door to watch Beverly Hills Cop instead. Thank God she said yes.
Baretta: On the Road (1975)
It Didn't Get Any Better Than This
This episode of Baretta had the magnificent pairing of Strother Martin and Gary Busey as the crooks long after the former had established himself as one of Hollywood's go-to character actors and during the early gestation period of the latter in one of his typical hyped up bad guy performances. This is all to say that the duo really gave viewers something to look at among many other great Season 2 episodes of the series. A must-see! In one scene (spoiler alert), Martin and Busey get leading man Blake liquored up and tied up in a semi truck they've hijacked. It's his duty to come to his senses, break free of his restraints, and stop them while they are off committing more crime. How he brought himself to perform this against-the-odds heroics was nearly implausible when I first saw this episode during its first prime time airing. That only added to the enjoyment it gave me, and it made me a big fan of the series in general. Say what you will about the now retired Blake, but he was born to play Baretta, and his underplaying of the role in this episode was efficiently on task. Good stuff here.
Across the Universe (2007)
Ouch!
Maybe the big screen experience was needed, but I doubt it as I saw this loathsome waste of film on late-night television recently and was aghast. What movie exec. green-lighted this terrible, relentless onslaught of bad musical renditions of Beatle music and the eyesore ramble of images that escorted them? I'd be surprised to learn he/she is still around as the movie has only made back roughly half of its shooting budget as of this writing (going by IMDb's stats). I wouldn't know where to start in criticizing this mess- it's all that bad! And U2's Bono took an ill-advised role that's still leaving me scratching my head. I thought he was a thinking man's artist. All in all, this film makes me pine away for another viewing of 1978's Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band and cry out for a remake.
Chandler (1971)
Missed the Plot But Couldn't Have Cared
TCM did recently show this movie on a typically lazy summer afternoon before the 4th, and from the start, I was looking for some type of story line in which to sink my interest in, but things turned out murky. Its big draw was that it starred the much under-appreciated Warren Oates as some kind of detective who starts asking the big redeeming questions after he can't bring himself to carry out the job of tailing a mysterious woman for a corporate interest. When that plot line eventually became evident, I had the misfortune of falling asleep for just a few moments, and upon awakening, became even less involved as Oates wandered from scene to scene with the intent of discovering why the woman (the capable Leslie Caron) was on everyone's mind. My fault, sure, for nodding off, but unless the viewer is into speculation, this idea is never really revealed which leads to one guessing why her character is so central to the film's plot. Also disconcerting is how effortlessly the scenes wander between Carmel, Calif. and Los Angeles. The film's geography apparently has the two locales next door to one another, but they're not. The action moves too conveniently between them. And when Oakes and Caron end up with an inoperable vehicle yards from the Pacific Ocean under Big Sur's famed Bixby Creek Bridge after appearing to only have pulled off a main highway and onto a dirt road the night before, it appeared as if the producers wanted to get some grand photogenic shot near the end of this floundering mess. For whatever reason, too little too late. Nitpicking, yes, but I'm trying to find something worthy to write about what could have been a very good flick with just a little more pertinent exposition, and if I could, I would have had another joyous detective movie from the glorious '70s to chew on and enjoy.
Someone to Watch Over Me (1987)
Alien Homage
This was a serviceable enough cop story/thriller back in the late '80s that showed director Ridley Scott was on his toes. Actors Berenger, Scott, Bracco, and Orbach were all in fine form. The one that stood out most though was Andreas Katsulas as the villain. I think Ridley Scott consciously picked him for the role because he resembled in action a kind of vicious "Alien" on Earth and an ode to Scott's career-making masterpiece. It's too coincidental that a pair of hands/claws grab onto closing elevator/spaceship doors and force them back open during the climaxes of both films. After seeing this movie, I was left with the thought that director Scott was a little full of himself. It's a good thing he went on to make the special, seminal "GI Jane."
Yellowbeard (1983)
Don't Waste Your Time!
This film must have been amazing to be on the set of with all the great comedic talent on board. Unfortunately, it's loathsome to watch - what a piece of garbage. I walked out of it when it was first released. A few years ago, I saw it for cheap at my favorite used record/CD/DVD store in West L.A. and picked it up, thinking maybe a second viewing would win me over. No dice. Just awful. Also, it was sad to see James Mason in one of his last roles with nothing to work with, script-wise. Most of the time, the cast looks like it's dying to be thrown some kind of bone - anything that might get a laugh - but it's hard to remember that happening much. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!
Silent Running (1972)
... but It's Dern that Stands Out
The film Silent Running provided the breakout role for its star, Bruce Dern. He'd been around in Hollywood a long time before doing a little of this and that before 'Running came along, and it would prove to be his delivery once and for all into the realm of A picture-opportunities that would capitalize on the widening of his eyes and the rising of his vocal chords to aptly remind audiences that he was on screen (the same attributes had been on hand in The Cowboys, the picture released four months earlier in which Dern costarred with John Wayne. In it, he was the only actor ever to kill the Duke in cinematic history). The film itself was merely an exercise for director Douglas Trumbull to stretch his limbs after a four-year hiatus that last saw him working with the master Kubrick on the greatest science fiction movie ever filmed. Trumbull was probably gnawing at the bit to instill into 'Running what he'd learned at the feet of Kubrick, but a modest budget was in play, so corners had to be cut to get the film produced (and one of them was casting Dern, a still relatively unknown commodity at the time). What's on screen is an economically streamlined shadow of Kubrick's masterpiece with a twist: it's not machinery that's gone haywire but humankind's ability to value the nature it evolved from. Dern rolls through all of it with efficacy, stoically confronting the absolved apathy of shipmates as well as the steely edicts of corporate bosses to destroy what matters most to him. He's eloquently desperate while trying to keep the others on board from carrying out their disastrous orders in one scene and then effortlessly charming while playing poker with his compact shipboard robots in another. Dern certainly offers up a wide measure of emotions in a bravura performance that certainly was a standout among others in 1972.
The Maze (1953)
Look! Up there!
A TV viewing of The Maze was only available to me once, and unfortunately, I was only a pre-kinder kid at the time. This was the early '60s before Kennedy took that fateful motorcade, so my memories of the thing are, of course, sketchy. What readily comes to mind though is the dark, dark Scottish mansion where most of the story took place. Immediately eerie it was, and when several of the house staff lead something concealed by sheets on a stairwell making a "thump, thump" sound, it was plain weird, even to the small boy that I was. The ending of the film has been much maligned by other reviewers here, but it was a real shocker then. I pray for the day when I can see this little film again, although I'm sure it won't have the same impact for me in the present. By the way, outside of women, I'm still a little boy at heart and wish The Maze could be remade. Would any director and devotee of William Cameron Menzies be up for the challenge?