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dragon3611
Reviews
Killer Elite (2011)
A Bit Poor Really
Terrible script, pacing and English accents. Big fan of Jason but this was very disappointing.
Could've been written by a second grader for an English assignment - and not a very good one at that.
Guy goes to pub where just by chance the guilty SAS men's contact just happens be be there - ooh, he must be after the bad soldiers that did that bad thing - better get him watched then....etc.
This pointy hammer made out of the same stuff as the bathroom tile will make it look exactly like an accident...give me strength!!
I stuck with this until about half way through and then could take no more.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Did Someone Make This for a Bet?
How this got commissioned is beyond me. This is so bad, down to the title - She Hulk Attorney at Law - give me strength!
Sorry, I like my Ruffalo Hulk to be raging and smashing the hell out of stuff, not sitting about making wisecracks.
This breaking the fourth wall stuff just grates.
I have liked all Hulk movies more or less but this is just cringeworthy.
Over the years I have kept an eye out hoping for a new Hulk TV series and this is what they came up with.
Creators, this is what would've worked.....
A remake of 1970s Incredible Hulk with Mark Ruffalo - wandering from town to town helping people - smashing the hell out of biker gangs and mafia types etc.
Ideally directed by Sam Raimi.
This would've been a belter.
Instead we get this pure pure garbage - you have wasted your money.
Now studios will think there is no appetite for another Hulk tv series because of the poor ratings this will generate. But hey, you couldn't miss the opportunity to get a strong female lead front and centre!
As Ms Walters says one time to the camera "I'm not proud of this!" - no, Jennifer, you shouldn't be.
Don't Breathe (2016)
Superb Blast of a Film - Ignore Poor or Average Reviews
I have been on this planet nearly 60 years and have seen a fair few films in this time and consider myself to know what is good and what is not.
Going into this film I did not have high hopes but at the end I was blown away with the story, the tension, the twists, the direction -brilliant
And refreshing - a fun rollercoaster ride that left a smile on my face.
Please ignore any low scores - there are some strange people out there!
Don't Look Up (2021)
Rubbish
So respected astronomers get invited to the Whitehouse to tell the President about the asteroid and are, without reason, treated
Like fools.
They then appear as guests on a news programme and are treated the same way! - totally unbelievable- I had to turn this tripe off.
The portrayal of the President was also poor and unrealistic.
This film had a great premise but was just plain dreadful ( what I saw of it)
Army of the Dead (2021)
Watched 35mins Then Gave Up
I was looking forward to this film as I do like a good zombie movie. Unfortunately this made me quit after 35 mins.
Straight from the off I hated the style, zombies running rampant and getting splattered with high-powered weapons etc with classic songs in the background, slo- mo shots - the sort of stuff you should see near the end of the film. The way it was done just grated and did not sit well.
The acting was ropey and of course you had to have the strong women roles shoved in there front and centre as per usual. Look, I don't mind women in strong roles (Alien - one of the best films ever) it's just every $%$@ action film nowadays and as soon as I see it, it Just feels forced. I see it so much I am half expecting the lady in our corner shop to be wearing sunglasses with a chewed matchstick hanging out the corner of her mouth the next time I pop in for some milk - "here's yer Goddam change!", as she headbutts me out the door!
I think Dave Bautista is great but have been waiting for a great movie for him - so disappointed in the Die Hard rip-off Final Score that he was in.
Thought the CGI tiger looked great in the trailer but I am not wasting anymore of my life with this film.
Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)
Far From Home- Far from Great.
If you look at the first 100 screens of reviews on here you would be forgiven for thinking that it is the best Spider-Man movie and the best movie that has ever been made. I can only assume that these people have been paid to put these
10 out of 10s up. Firstly I think Tom Holland makes a poor choice for the main protagonist.
For someone with his super strength and other abilities he goes about with zero confidence and exudes awkwardness. The film just feels empty with no soul. The acting is cheesy and the CGI is just so over the top - often with the non-reality sequences I just thought ooh look he's inside a CGI generator. All I can compare it to is a computer game with loads of graphics but one you don't want to play with because the gameplay is rubbish. I didn't care about any of the characters or what happened to them. To me the best Spider-Man was Spider-Man 2 directed by Sam Raimi - awesome casting, story, direction, everything.
This movie also just seemed another excuse for political correctness box ticking.
But I suppose if you don't mind that and just love loads of CGI fired into your eyeballs for a couple of hours then you too will think that this is the best movie ever and add your 10 out of 10 to the ludicrous amounts of the same on here.
Badge of Honor (2015)
Bullet Forensics Not Available??
Really enjoyed this movie but - two things didn't make sense though:
1 So they gave the dead boy the cops service issue gun? - even if it wasn't service issue they would soon see the bullet in the boy matched the two bullets fired into the walls - so the boy must have shot himself!!
2. After the bad cop confronted the internal affairs cop outside near her car - normally he would have been reported to his superiors straight away afterwards.
As another reviewer pointed out - watch out for the terrible spellings in the end credits eg "sunt doubles'!
The Void (2016)
OK - Nice Try
Having been on the planet for over 50 years and seen quite a few horror movies I have a good feel for what works and what doesn't.
After watching this film I thought it was a brilliant story but just not executed as well as other top horror films. One of my main gripes was the portrayal of the cop Daniel.
Right from the start I just didn't get the sense that this was a cop - he came across more like a high school kid that had stolen a uniform- the character did not have any strength or toughness or display any sort of in your face resilience except when the script demanded when he would suddenly spit out some aggressive lines which when they came seemed at odds with his character. Much of the time he could not look other characters in the eye - not what you would expect of an experienced lawman.
Top marks go to the practical effects designers - this is always nice to see in films these days. Again this was a little spoilt as much of these effects were in darkness or poorly lit places with fast editing - especially in the first monster reveal.
The film moved at a very good pace and at the end I was not blown away and felt that it was a very average film - just disappointed it could have been so much better - I loved the story as it harked back to many classic films but was sad that it didn't quite reach their heights.
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
Oh Dear!
Like many reviewers I am a huge fan of the first two films and had high hopes for this film to bring the franchise back to greatness, especially with Mr Cameron's involvement.
I am sad to report that it has failed in this respect. What it has turned out to be is an okish movies with loads of CGI and lots of the "strong women" agenda injected into it that seems to be one of the legal requirements these days - and that's about it.
Arnold and Linda, bless them, are looking tired now and have not been helped by an awful script.
Look, I can write down a terrible idea for a script in a few minutes - here goes.....
Right, how about we have Arnie as a new bad Terminator who kills John Connor in the first few minutes then decides to retire and settle down with a wife, kid and dog - he could call himself Carl and have his own business selling curtains or drapes....
Well sad to report that this is what actually happens in the film!!!!!
This was the final straw for my other half, who swore, got up and went to put the kettle on.
Arnold says at one point in the film "I won't be back" - I dont blame you Arnold.
Some of the effects in the film are good but there is one bit at the start when the bad Terminator is in a factory and he leaps about 25 feet up to another level and it looked so fake it made me laugh.
So there you have it - on its own terms it is a bit of entertainment to get you away from the real world for a couple of hours but I think they should knock these films on the head now - I don't think it is actually possible to top the first two amazing films and they should stop trying.
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Ignore The Haters!
Ok, firstly anyone who gives this film 1 or two out of 10 should be banned from ever writing reviews.
The CGI alone merits a better score than that.
So it has problems with certain areas - like why wouldn't the helicopters stay a safe distance away etc - well you could pick apart almost all fantasy movies like this if you want to be a kill-joy ( why did the teenagers go into the scary looking house - why doesn't the Bond villain shoot James Bond on sight etc ) - give it a rest and go watch something else.
As others have said, just sit back and strap in for a good entertaing ride with top-notch special effects and great creatures.
A good new take on the Kong legend and a fun film night with your mates - get the popcorn in.
The Hunted (2003)
A poor clone.
Picture the scene, movie executives meeting.....
Right people, have we any ideas for our next project? - yes Mr Tally-Whacker, we are all ears!....
Well, how about we have this highly trained and decorated ex-army guy that goes off the rails, it could be based in a wilderness environment at first and then moving into a more urban setting...
Right...
We could have him up against local law enforcement etc and they could be no match for him......
Right OK......
We could have an old army friend that could try and stop him ......
R....i..i...g....t......
The army friend could come out with remarks like 'you realise he will try and kill as many of you as possible when they plan to go after him - you know, just to emphasise how lethal he is!!
So nothing like FIRST BLOOD then!!
Any other ideas?
Just this one where this lone cop gets trapped in a skyscraper with terrorists!
(Groans and slaps own forehead)
So yes folks, this is a very poor rip-off of Sly's classic.
Even taking it as a stand alone movie it just felt empty and dis-jointed somehow.
I loved the idea of killing the deer hunters and I think the story should have followed him killing more hunters and then coming up against an elite hunter that was a match for him, rather than this poor Rambo clone.
One of those movies that left me wanting more.
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019)
Extremely Disappointing
First off, please ignore all the 1 out of 10s and the 10 out of 10s as this is not the worst movie ever made and neither is it the best.
Now let me first say that I was a huge fan of the first film, everything about it was amazing, the story, the casting, the visuals, the lot. A beautiful beautiful film that carved itself a special place in my heart - and that is a rare thing especially in modern times.
This time around it seems the idea was, lets take the opportunity to push a heavily politically correct storyline ( lots of diverse peoples fighting then getting along in harmony at the end ) run a weak story through the middle of it and mix in loads of CGI. There you go, open the theatre doors and wait for the money.
It's of those films that should have been left alone, to improve on the first was a herculean task - they were on to a loser from the start with this writer - if they had put as much effort into the actual story as they had in pushing the political agenda it may have been worth watching - sadly true of many movies nowadays.
Feel a bit sick in my stomach at the moment, like an old friend has let me down.
Attention Scum (2001)
Abysmal Beyond Belief
I am struggling to put into words how truly awful this 'comedy' is.
Example: near the start there is a black screen which gets filled with large white text which proclaims that the viewer is "NOTHING" amongst various other insults and ends with "THIS IS YOUR FUTURE" with a shot of a grave. Well it is no better when you actually see it either.
Don't get me wrong - I enjoy a wide range of comedies including offbeat stuff but this is shockingly bad. A five year old would be able to write the script for this stuff in 10 minutes. I can only assume the people who have given this good reviews are the performers themselves, relatives or have been taken hostage.
I would rather get my teeth drilled than watch this - and I'm not even joking.
Eli (2019)
Ignore Bad Reviews - Good Film!
Firstly, ignore all the 1 and 2 out of 10 etc scores because straight off that points to people who have an axe to grind for whatever reason.."I guessed the ending" etc and not treating it fairly.
I have been watching movies of all genres for over 50 years and can honestly say I had a great time with this one and had a smile on my face by the end of it.
It had a great story, tension, jump scares, creepy characters and a great ending in my opinion - so there!
Venom (2018)
Sensible Review!!
Ok folks, look, straight off, all these 1 out of 10 and 10 out of 10 scores are a bit silly. It's not the worst film ever and it's not the best either.
Imagine putting such good effort into all the seperate bits of a film, script, score, special effects, casting etc and someone giving you 1 out of 10!! - honestly!!
Rant over! - ok, what's it like?
Well it's entertaining enough if you like this sort of movie ( and I do!! ) but you just get the feeling that it's good but not quite there in several areas. As others have said, the casting could've been better ( apart from Tom ) and I just felt the jokey tone was overdone in parts - the bike chase was almost slapstick.
I would have liked it if it had been R rated and more adult.
It's obvious a lot of time & thought went into the special effects but sometimes it looks just too digital.
Also wondered why the bad guy had to ask who had gained entry into his labs - didn't he have security cameras?!!
So there you go - after the film I felt I had had a good time and it was an ok movie and wasn't disappointed I had chosen to watch it.
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Spider-Man Not Special Anymore
Looking at the first 3 million reviews on here you would be forgiven for thinking that this film is the best film that has ever, and will be made - well it isn't and I suspect that political standings have had something to do with this. The film is ok but visuals and metal soundtrack not to my taste.
One other thing that spoils things in a massive way..... why is Spider-Man, Superman, Hulk etc special??? ..that's right, because there is only 1 of them.
As a true Spider-Man fan, I wish the creators of this movie would disappear back into the dimensions from which they came.
It Came from the Desert (2017)
Very Poor
This film fails on just about every level - the music score is truly depressing and is a chore to listen to. The acting and special effects are dire - some films are so bad that they are good - this film is just bad.
Final Score (2018)
Scramble the SAS!
...and get them to hunt down the people responsible for putting together this pile of rubbish. This is a very lame attempt at doing a Die Hard and fails miserably.
I so wanted this film to work because I think Dave Bautista could make a great action hero.
This film makes you realise how great the team were behind Die Hard - it is such a blatant copy, even at one point Mr Bautista starts writing names on his hand presumably to keep track of the terrorists.
The acting is poor and the dialogue could've been written by an eleven year old (Scramble the SAS!)
This has reminded me again that great films dont happen by accident.
Final Score (2018)
Scramble the SAS!
...and get them to hunt down the people responsible for putting together this pile of rubbish. This is a very lame attempt at doing a Die Hard and fails miserably.
I so wanted this film to work because I think Dave Bautista could make a great action hero.
This film makes you realise how great the team were behind Die Hard - it is such a blatant copy, even at one point Mr Bautista starts writing names on his hand presumably to keep track of the terrorists.
The acting is poor and the dialogue could've been written by an eleven year old (Scramble the SAS!)
This has reminded me again that great films dont happen by accident.