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How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town (2015)
Mature but restrained, adult but innocent
I'm surprised this doesn't have more reviews. I went in not expecting much more than a naughty indie film trying to sell the movie on the title and the premise. I came out the other end charmed and laughing at the honest silliness of it all. It's a truthful look at small-town folk who feel it's time to infuse a little excitement into their lives. Jewel Staite doesn't even have to try and she's adorably down to earth, and the rest of the cast fills out the ranks in fun, albeit sometimes one-note, tones. If you're expecting excessive nudity and R-rated raunchiness, you're looking in the wrong place (although there's a brief topless streaking scene early on - the only real nudity in the movie). Instead, this really is a small-town/intimate/true-to-life look at what happens when lifetime friends and neighbors decide an orgy is the answer to all their woes. Things get awkward, personal discoveries are made, and the movie ends with the most inspiring/heartfelt/upbeat orgasm face montage and streaking scene you'll ever see. It sounds funny, I know, but it's a sweet film with a sugary adult ending. Give it a try. I was pleasantly surprised.
The Machine (2013)
Slow burn sci-fi that's almost unwatchable
I watched this movie last night, and I'll preface this very short review by saying I vocally questioned the movie multiple times with "is everyone in this place really that stupid?!"
Couldn't stand the pacing. Couldn't stand the acting (Toby Stephens was alright most of the time). The main actress (Caity Lotz) was only slightly more tolerable when she was a robot than she was as a human. The logic was all over the place and ridiculously flawed. One minute it seems the military installation is advanced and under tight guard, even pivotal to winning the cold war with China, and the next Lotz is wandering off and hacking into computers like no one's watching. Almost everything was telegraphed, and I was incredibly surprised when their wasn't a sex scene between man and his newly-created sex bot (not being crass, but seeing how terrible most of this movie was in the B-movie sense I was really expecting it).
I can't confidently recommend this to anyone. The movie looks pretty at times, but I was bored and frustrated through most of it.
Insidious (2010)
Should have been titled "Look There's Something in the Background *LOUD NOISE!!*"
Insidious should have been titled "Hey, Look At That Thing in the Background" or "Loud Music When You Least Expect It". I don't understand how these kinds of movies keep getting advertised as terrifying, or how audiences find this and similar films (The Conjuring, Paranormal Activity, etc) frightening.
Another ghost/demon/spirit/entity/monster/shadow/man in a mask haunting another family in another house with creaking doors, strange noises, people in places they shouldn't be, opened windows, lights going out, specialists being called in, specialists being scared out of their minds, a history of something malevolent in the main character's past, a handful of jump scares as things pass by the screen, and ultimately another less-than-satisfying "scary" movie. How do actors keep a straight face when making a movie so silly? Chances are you'll jump a few times, but that's because the filmmakers lure you in with the quiet and then throw a loud noise at you with a scary face attached. Don't waste your time with this one.
Prisoners (2013)
Stretches a bit long and gets a little predictable but features fine performances
Prisoners is like that one friend or comedian you know who's know who tells overly elaborate stories or jokes that you have to applaud for the effort if nothing else. Intentions seem to be in the right place, delivery is going smoothly, there's a handful of ups and downs that aren't terribly cliché but you swear you've heard one or two before, and when all is said and done you nod in approval and open the door knowing they'll be back soon in another form with another tale.
Comparisons to strange friends aside, Prisoners does its best to keep a child abduction story above Lifetime Movie levels. What does this is the acting of the two leads, Jake Gyllenhaal and Hugh Jackman, and the violence both on display and implied. Jackman convincingly continues down a rabbit hole of anger and frustration as a distressed father, and Gyllenhaal almost follows suite as the detective assigned to the case. Both elevate the material a bit, but neither can save it from the excessive runtime of 2 1/2 hours and a handful of mystery/suspense clichés. If it weren't for the cast and the caliber of acting the film wouldn't have made the splash it did when it was released.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
Better than the first but can't escape some of the same flaws
I went to see this simply on principle. Having not read the books, and having never really been a movie-goer who jumps on every incoming popcorn munching book-turned-film adaptation train, Hunger Games didn't hold much more weight in my book than Twilight, Mortal Instruments, Harry Potter, or The Lord of the Rings. That said, the first film was terrible in terms of emotional resonance, believable characters, well-written dialogue and action, or anything other than spectacle (which was laughable at times) making it sellable outside the book-buying populace.
Fortunately, Catching Fire took most of what the first film did poorly and made it edible. The relationships seem a bit more fleshed out, the action isn't as hokey, and the stakes behind the Hunger Games themselves felt real and in the forefront. It seems like a flipside to some character coin where in the last film no one seemed to bother with the main characters and all development time was spent on the contenders. This time around it's the main characters that hold your attention, and aside from those who aid the main group of good guys the contenders could be interchangeable. And the Games' new gizmos and magic tricks? Laugh out loud ridiculous at times. This is an element they unfortunately did not make better from film to film. What's the point of rooting for an established character if at any moment a button can be pushed and the filmmakers can say "Bet ya didn't know this was coming. It's cool right? Super cool?" No. None of your magic little buttons and pocket watch tomfooleries were even remotely cool.
The thing that kills Catching Fire is that it's only half of a movie. The film ends mid-conversation, and nothing beforehand preps you for the sudden rolling of credits. This is a terrible way to end any movie, no matter how large the story is. Sure, a lot of the movie was silly, but the time I spent in the theater started investing me in the world the filmmakers had built. Cutting off mid-stream just felt...juvenile.
Open Grave (2013)
Was hoping for more from this one
I was really looking forward to this. Sharlto Copley in something new? Sign me up. Unfortunately, Open Grave is chock full of the clichés and convenient situations that plague most small-budget horror/mystery/thriller films. Some were groan-worthy, while others made me shake my head and chuckle. The full circle of the end was kind of a nice pay-off, but it literally had to be spelled out in the last few minutes of the movie like most everything else.
The movie wants to be a lot of things, and in trying to weave everything together it just feels like a fan-fiction made into a film. Sharlto Copley did alright with what he had to work with, and his American accent was definitely different, but he didn't seem able to elevate the material above B-movie sci-fi with a little bit more grit around the edges. It's worth a late night watch on cable sometime in the future, but don't go rushing to the theater for a ticket to this one. It kind of reminded me a lot of Carriers from a while back. A few big names and pretty faces, but beneath the surface there's not a lot to latch on to outside the clichés.