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Alles is zoals het zou moeten zijn (2020)
Everybody is horrible
Dutch romcoms are very bland. They rehash a standard script and put out like 4 or 5 of this types of movies every year. Probably because this type of comedy is one of the few Dutch movie types that sell in theatres.
This comedy follows this same format. It tells the story of high-society girl Iris who at the start of the movie delivers her baby with husband surgeon Pieter. Shortly after the birth it turns out Iris stopped her anti conception without letting Pieter know and Pieter had an affair during the whole pregnancy. Pieter shortly afterwards leaves for Africa with his new girlfriend to start a childrens hospital.
Iris is a forced single mom and then you meet all the other horrible characters in this movie: her mother who immediately leaves her daughter as well, one friend who is having multiple affairs because her husband had one, her other friend who is a stuck-up single and screws around (which this movie presents as something bad), her terrible co-worker and her sexist boss. There is only one like-able character, the good looking dog walker who walks Iris her dog. Of course it is obvious with who Iris is gonna find love this movie, but at first glance the dog walker is to low of a status to be even considered by Iris. Then we find out that he is actually also a childrens doctor, who only covers his sisters company while she has breast cancer... Well then the movie can end with them coming together of course.
This movie has as described above some of the worst characters I've ever seen. Almost nobody is likeable in this movie. The two main leads don't deserve to fall in love and to it's credit it almost looks like it doesn't but sadly at the end they come together. This movie guides you in having false sympathy for the main characters, like Iris being forced to be a single mom (but still lives in a gigantic home with an endless supply of wine, has money for day care, going out and the likes) or the fact that she never knew her father (who is given a tragic backstory to pump up the feels, but doesn't justify to her being horrible to everybody).
There are a lot more similar generic Dutch Romcoms out there with likeable characters so I should watch those instead of this.
Het hart van Hadiah Tromp (2018)
Badly acted romcom
In the Netherlands there are the so-called telefilms, films made for television all around a certain theme, sponsored by the public television. There are a total of six films. This year the theme is romcom, so prepare yourself. Romcom is by far the genre most Dutch commercial movies are made in. Big sponsored movies with the same plots and mostly the same actors even. Although there are of course some funny moments to be had, nothing really stands out. A nice try for the more indepedent and new filmmakers in the telefilms cycle to brush up the genre. This movie is the first installment in this cycle.
The concept is quite ok. Hadiah Tromp, a rebellious lady, signs up for the strict navy, mostly to please her father, a high-ranking navy officer. Although she doesn't want to return after her first training, she does return for naval training on the North Sea because of a break-up. Here she meets Paul Borremans, her junior officer and very strict follower of rules, and you never believe what happens next.
This movie works on certain levels. The setting in a navy ship, with many crew members and small hallways, is quite original and makes the romance part a bit more interesting. The other characters are nicely done and live up to romcom-tropes. The uptight fellow cadet, the strict captain, the jealous fellow officer and the funny friends of the main character. The story is as romcom as you can get and there is also a musical theme to it, with characters breaking out in sing and dance but done in such a way that it doesn't really count as a musical in my opinion.
Where this movie gets his low rating from me is the acting and script overall. Chloé Leenheer's acting falls flat almost every time. Lines are delivered flatly and feel almost forced. 'The line is in the script, so I have to say it' It seems they where trying to go for a quirky girl which combines the strict navy moral of her father with the easy free going spirit of her deceased Jamaican mother. This actually results in a spoiled brat which motivations are never clear. Which is strange because the movie results in mostly stating the emotions instead of acting. The other characters, as mentioned mostly consist of tropes, have the same deliverance. Peter Heerschop, although a funny comedian, doesn't really fit well as the dad. A lot of the actors looked mostly chosen for their navy fysique than their acting abilities. Although there are some actors who did a good job, Jacqueline Blom as the strict captain, Mike Weerdt as the jealous officer and mostly a shout-out forKorneel Evers for the stoner guy, which I found one of the most funny characters in the film.
To go on about the script/screenplay, this movie tried in my opinion to hard to be a romcom and the script tried to incorporate to many tropes in this movie. This resulted in half written story-lines for characters, who sometimes totally disappear from the movie. Hadiah had a onshore black friend who appears in one scene and is never seen again. The same goes in the final part of the movie for the uptight fellow-cadet who the last half hour is nowhere to be found, only to return briefly in the ending credits. The motivation and deeds of Hadiah are weird in the latter half of the movie, even ignoring the bad acting job. It is weird she protects the officer who tried to sexually harrass her over Paul Borremans who tried to protect her but she had a fall-out with. Maybe there is a director's cut where the movie is more fleshed-out but now it felt that the script was only half done and tried to much in the time it was given.
In short. Movie with a cool concept in the romcom scene, but looses itself in bad acting and a screenplay which wants to much but can't deliver.
Publieke werken (2015)
Probably one of the best Dutch historical movies to date.
Dutch cinema is always a bit of a hit or a miss. There are some great directors and actors (although most actors focus on theater, as with Gijs Scholten van Aschat who is mainly a theater actor), but the movies have little budget and tend to be bland comedy-dramas.
Having said this, budget is being a bit more generous in recent years. Most historical movies from the Netherlands in recent years have a tendency to be action flicks, as with the movies Michiel de Ruyter, Kenau and het Bombardement. Although the visuals due to the higher budgets are stunning (especially in Michiel de Ruyter) they lack a lot in historical accuracy and feeling. Michiel de Ruyter has little historical context and especially the behavior of the characters does not feel like the seventeenth century (children disturbing their father and jumping on his bed for example).
Publieke werken succeeds in grasping the stunning visuals used in those other movies but tell a much more layered and original story. Centered around two cousins (fictional characters to be precise) this movie gives them a lot more temporal feel. The dialogue and behavior of most characters is distant, which is in my humble knowledge mostly accurate and a lot of the feelings the characters are experiencing are oppressed and show just a little. This gives a certain historical distance and I find that praise-worthy. On the downside this makes the plot sometimes a bit hard to follow.
The effect I loved the most is the lighting in this movie. It felt very natural and accurate, scenes at night where mostly lit by oil lamps or candles and the scenes inside are mostly darker even when it is day. Although probably some effect was used to get this it felt as a very natural portrayal of a society where electricity was not readily available, although around the corner, as the movie is set in 1888.
The biggest downside to this movie, coherent to a lot of Dutch movies, was in the audio mixing. For some reason Dutch movies tend to mix the spoken lines softly and the music really loud. Maybe this is due to the reason I watched this movie on television, but still it is a trend. As a native speaker of Dutch this makes some lines for me hard to understand. If you are watching with subtitles this would probably be of no concern to you.
I give this movie 8 out of 10. A historical movie which let you experience the historical distance of his subjects, good acting, magnificent visuals, original plot and deep characters.
Snatch (2017)
Fun homage to the movie, worth a watch!
So it's obligatory to state beforehand, that I love the original movie. Well-acted wacky characters, a plot with some sub-plots centered around one precious item, good music and a lot of one- liners. Hell, I would argue that the whole movie is a one liner start to finish.
How does that translate in to a TV-series? I was surprised. Of course it is not possible to get all one-liners in 10 episodes of 40 minutes, although there are quite some, but the rest of the above was done very well.
This series isn't really (and maybe luckily) an adaption of the movie in my opinion. It is more of an homage and has many winks to the movie.
The characters are well acted and especially the side-characters have some of the wackiness that the characters had in the movie. Especially the characters of Vic and Uncle Ben deserve a shout-out, but even until late in the first season new interesting characters are added. This gives every episode a certain freshness and hopefully this can result in a second season. The only type of character I found missing was a heavy hitting gangster like Brick Top from the movie. Although it is maybe even better that there isn't a character/actor who tries to do an Alan Ford rip-off job.
The music in this is also as diverse as in the original movie.
The plot was very good, well executed and diverse. Every episode has a break-out and action-heavy scene which made the first season as a whole fun to watch. I would especially mention the prison break- scene, which was well shot, well executed and a pleasure to watch.
This series is not the movie, it lacks a bit of the pacing and some of the great characters, but it makes up for it for showing the same passion and fun as the movie tries to show. A worthwhile watch if you are a fan of the original and like the crime-caper genre as a whole. I rate this 8 out of 10.
Cryptic (2014)
Interesting wild ride
This movie has been under the radar and I could not find it for quite some time. When I first heard about this movie it was in production and I found it when I was looking at Daniel Feuerriegel's IMDb-page. The tag-line got me 'lock stock meets true blood'. I haven't seen true blood but I like vampires and 'Lock, Stock' and 'Snatch' are two of my favorite movies. It was hard to find this film in good quality for me, but today I succeeded.
I was a bit put off by the small 5 stars this movie has gotten. I think this has to do with the classifications of horror and comedy. It is certainly a comedy, in the dark style of 'lock, stock', there were some funny jokes and the character were familiar with the characters you see in 'lock, stock' and 'Snatch'. The smooth-talking one, the crazy one and the dumb one for example.
Horror is not a part of this movie, the premise is only a bit eerie, so to say. 7 criminals and one junkie find themselves in a crypt looking for a coffin and a personal stash of heroine. The 7 criminals all are from the same crime organization, although from different branches. The coffin should contain a answer to why the different branches have been targeted and lost a lot of profit in recent times. The criminal organization is led by Gordon, who is coming at a later time to see the containment of the coffin. What unfolds is a whodunit in a crypt, when it becomes certain that one of the people present is causing the downfall of criminal business and they are locked inside the crypt.
What follows is a interesting plot with a lot going on. The crypt is the only location in the movie. So no, this is not a horror, this is a whodunit. If that is your type of movie, I found this one quite watchable, the story as mentioned is well written and the camera work is nice. The acting varies, some characters I found very well written and played out, others not that much. Some of the acting was a bit over the top, but that made the movie fun as well. The only character I found flat was the female character. She had no real background given to her and it felt that she was only there to have a female in the movie. A shame, with the tiny bits she got going on she got easily have gotten some decent backstory. The other characters were developed in that sense.
Conclusion: If you like whodunit and the humor of 'lock, stock' and 'snatch', I would certainly recommend it. I found the plot strong and most of the characters well acted and fleshed out. If you are looking for a horror movie, this isn't one.
Michiel de Ruyter (2015)
Visually attractive but lacking historical context
(I wrote this review in Dutch for a college assignment, the assignment was for the course on the correct use of the past in movies)
At the end of January 2015 the big Dutch production Michiel de Ruyter premiered. A production which shows the life of Michiel de Ruyter as a admiral of the Dutch fleet in the seventeenth century. The movie also depicts some major political happenings in that era. Therefore the movie is filled with important characters from that time, like the brother de Witt, William III, Charles II and Cornelis and Maarten Tromp. Names which sound familiar to most of the Dutch audiences. Visually this movie succeeds to translate some of the famous paintings of the era to the white screen, the painting of the brutal lynching of the brothers de Witt is literally shown on screen and has a 'realistic' counterpart as of this movie. The movie only lacks a lot in historical context, which I will illustrate below.
First on the character of Michiel de Ruyter. He is depicted as a total hero: in his politics, his military leadership and as a family man. This is mostly true for the former two. De Ruyter had a relatively neutral political view and was known to be a friend of Johan de Witt. The battles depicted in the movie were de Ruyter is successful are based on real battles, which de Ruyter won. Nautical you can put question marks at some maneuvers, but the outcome is historical correct. The family de Ruyter is depicted as very modern, jumping on the bed of your parents is something I recognize from my own childhood. In the seventeenth century this was likely to be different. The raising of children was different four hundred years ago.
The historical context is mostly absent on two major point: the politics and the chronology. The political context is modern and absent of the movie. The movie starts with a flaming speech about protecting the freedom of the Netherlands. The Netherlands was not a term used in those times for the country. There was a council of war (depicted in the movie) but most politics were done on a regional level. The mentioned conflict between the republicans and the supporters of the House of Orange is stated but the movie never explains why they are in a conflict. Also the portrayal of William the Third as a closeted homosexual is weird. There are no hints that he was a closeted homosexual, same goes for the mannerisms the actor portrays which strongly remind of Louis XIV. The biggest historical let-down for this movie is the absence of dates. Certain events are mentioned in text on the screen, like the 'disaster year'/rampjaar and some of the sea battles. Most of the Dutch audience will know that the aforementioned year is 1672, but for foreign audiences and Dutch audience without historic knowledge are never told which chronology is used. Also the movie suggests that the depicted events are taking place in several months. The movie suggests that this was mostly done to not hire older actors for the children in the movie. It is irritating, there is a four-year gap between the aforementioned rampjaar and the death of de Ruyter, the movie depicts it as closely together, which is not true.
Visually this movie is very watchable and could serve as a start-up to a understanding of Dutch national history. By omitting much of the context (which could easily be added) this latter object fails in my opinion. By even mentioning dates the movie could create a bigger context and also teach audiences a thing or two.
Barry'd Treasure (2014)
Slightly crazy meets slightly crazy
Well, I'm a Barry Weiss fan and him leaving Storage Wars was a bit of a disappointment for me, but luckily they made this spin-off. The question is of Barry has enough potential to fill a half hour show? Not on his own, but the show fills in for that. The first episode marks the direction this show is going and is repeated in subsequent episodes. Barry on the road with a slightly crazy side- kick in a slightly crazy car, on their way to help negotiate in a deal between two collectors/dealers in antiques. A buyer/seller has called Barry for help to bring or collect pieces to another seller or buyer. Barry and his crazy side-kick take a road-trip and then pick up a local slightly crazy person or the crazy buyer/seller him- or herself. Mostly showing the misadventures among the road and the program quickly ends with Barry settling the deal and all is well.
In my opinion, it is fun to watch, the switching side-kicks and local contributors add to the fun Barry himself is already bringing to the show. With three episodes on the roll when writing this review, I hope it doesn't get boring. Reality TV? Probably not, but I think that would make the show unwatchable. Three normal persons going on a road trip to settle a deal? *Yawn*