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The Babadook (2014)
2/10
Boring and Depressing
31 October 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I have ticked "contains spoiler" to comply with the IMDb rules but to be honest reading this will not spoil the film for anyone with at least half a brain cell.

I watched this after reading reviews all over the place that it was the "scariest film of the year" and other commendations such as "fantastic" or "Psychological horror". However I found nothing to be further from the truth.

Set in some dreary Australian country town a Widow and her young son are finding it hard to come to terms with the loss of his father and her husband in a car crash some years earlier.

At least I think that is the reason why the woman had a face like a kite from the very beginning and showed hardly any love towards her son who initially had behaviour issues before somehow becoming cured on a weeks' worth of prescription sedatives.

I must confess at this stage that I did not watch all of the film and turned it off at the point she was going to throttle their pet dog! So if by any miracle the part I missed makes the first part any better please accept my apologies. I think it safe to say however this is no Pulp Fiction masterpiece! So after booting some horrible little girl out of her tree house and busting her nose the little bugger takes a hand crafted weapon to class and shoots that off. The school suggests supervised tuition in all lessons (how generous to donate such resources) but this isn't good enough for old kite face so she takes him out of school.

The kid then finds some book called "The Babadook" from anywhere you care to imagine and chooses it for a bedtime story one night. Mother starts to read the scary illustrated pop-up book to her nutcase son before realizing half way through it won't end well, flicks through the last 6 blank pages (yeah I'm thinking straight away those will soon be mysteriously filled in) and switches to Winnie the Poo or some such thing.

She hides the book away before it reappears again so she rips it up and throws it in the outside bin. Now at this point something rings a bell in my head from another film where something bad or evil was ripped up, thrown in a bin, comes back again glued together before being burnt instead.

Well would you guess it, the next day there is hammering on the front door and it is good old "The Babadook" book returning home! And not only has it been glued back together but the last pages have been filled in - Never! Those last pages basically explain that she will become even more of a loveless sour faced old hag than she already is, will kill the dog and then the kid, the end. So there is your spoiler (if you actually consider there is anything to spoil) as up to the throttling the dog part at least that is exactly what happens when I hit the 'Stop' button.

Look out for The Babadook himself; you will know him when you see him as he looks like he was pencil animated in a few brief times like a badly drawn cartoon character lost in A-Ha's "Take on Me" music video! Don't waste your time with this croc mate!
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The Smurfs 2 (2013)
8/10
I thought it was great and I'm 39!
9 August 2013
I went to the cinema to watch the first one in 3D with the kids and I have to admit I was putting a brave face on and trying to concentrate on enjoying the blue Slush Puppy drink that only cinemas seem to sell.

I settled the kids into their seats and and put on my 3D glasses and hoped it would hide the fact from my partner that I was asleep, as long as I didn't snore again! I have to say (still talking about the first one here) that I was pretty impressed from the outset. The 3D has come a hell of a long way from the day's of Jaws when I last used it and the storyline was strong and never boring.

Smurfs 2 I thought was going to be one of those, 'should have never made a sequel' films after seeing mocking video's on You Tube with children singing about how much they hated it! Personally I couldn't see that it could be better than the first film but I was very wrong. The 3D was stunning all the way through and at one point I forgot that I wasn't actually on the set! Again the storyline was strong, never dulled off and I found it one of few films that I could not pop to the toilet during or go for a smoke, there was no point where I thought I might not miss anything.

The true credit though goes to Gargamel and his cat. There were point's that had me laughing out loud which as an adult would ordinarily be embarrassing at a kids film but then I noticed all the adults were laughing out loud too.

And I'm sorry, if you don't have slightly moist eye's at the end then you have no soul!
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PhoneShop (2009–2013)
8/10
Phone shop just get's funnier and funnier!
9 August 2013
I agree with 'brianloughran55' review of this Channel 4 UK comedy series. People outside the UK, or London to be more precise would not understand much of the humor.

There is an accent in London now in the younger working class generation that is a mix of Jamaican, Cockney and Yardie and it sounds just like that of Lance's Phone Shop employee's! I have sat on the train many times and listened to these people babbling on and it seems the stronger the accent and lingo the more thick they tend to be.

Another thing is that if your just hearing and not seeing who is talking you would never be able to guess their ethnicity.

Still, these colorful characters always unwittingly put a smile on my face so don't worry if you forget the paper when boarding the Victoria to Folkestone train.

I recommend watching an episode from the new series called, 'Baking Bad'. Just total comedy genius!
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Hell Baby (2013)
2/10
Sometimes mildly funny unless you're an American!
28 July 2013
This film was like a really bad version of 'Scary Movie' when it came to movie reference humor. Like Scary Movie it's storyline was thin to say the least but if you're not holding your sides through laughter stitches your going to lose interest, mine went totally after 20 minutes.

I have watched many films that Americans find 'hilarious' and I just don't get why. Even their stand up comics I find coma-inducing boring. Still, maybe that's just me! There are parts in this film which will make some jump plenty of times which in itself is funnier than any of the 'comedy' in it.

As for the actual 'Hell Baby', an hour in and it still wasn't born and at that point I no longer cared if it ever would be and turned the movie off! It could be that after that first hour the film turns a corner and shines with gags and spoofs but the odds were against it and I wasn't going in anyway!
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