shane-siegfried Reviews

Cocaine Crabs from Outer Space (2022)

I love B Rated films, but this ain't it

[3/10 · 28 April 2024]

Do you like underground, B Rated films? We'll guess what? It's not even B Rated. It's like Z Rated.

It's like someone just filmed everything on an iPhone and they didn't even know how to use an iPhone because they're used to pagers.

It was just so bad. So so bad. It's got it all:

-Unfocused shots -horrible cuts and editing -do you like the sound of wind? Cause there's a lot of that!

And the budget? Must have been $100.

I'm not gonna do any spoilers or anything cause I'm not that guy, so if you're REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY bored, go for it.

3/10 (on here. 2/5 normally)

Only gave it 3 because I dig homemade movies, but man, it's bad!

Batman: Hush (2019 Video)

Good movie.....if you never read the story

[5/10 · 8 December 2021]

I'm really late to the Hush party having just got the novel/collection recently.

Having read the whole thing and really enjoying it (especially the art! Jim lee is still a badass artist!), I found out this movie existed.

Then I watched it.

Wow. What in the actual eff? How do you change the story so drastically??

Sure, marvel has twisted some of the stories in their films, but dc has just gone crazy and not followed anything. And this is why dc will never be as good as marvel because they eff up something that was at their disposal to simply take page by page and simply animate it.

If you haven't read the storyline, do yourself a favor and go buy and read it. It's WAY better than what was portrayed in this film.

Malignant (I) (2021)

What a waste of time

[2/10 · 16 September 2021]

God there was so much that was terrible about this film.

The acting was awful.

The music/audio was decent, but didn't fit this film whatsoever.

Seattle is nothing like that. I live here.

I will never get that 2hrs back.

Dont waste your time.

Splinter (I) (2008)

Whoever rated this 4.5 on Amazon watched a different film

[1/10 · 23 August 2021]

This movie is pure garbage.

I decided to try a new film on Saturday night and saw this had 4.5 stars, so i thought it had to be decent.

It wasnt.

The acting was piss poor. Most of the film, you see that the person controlling the camera had a seizure as this had more shaky cam than any movie out there. The "monster" was just dumb.

I will never get that time back and ill save you the time: DONT WATCH THIS TRASH.

The Pact (II) (2012)

Utter Garbage

[3/10 · 8 November 2012]

Im not going to throw in any spoilers in case someone wants to waste away 2hrs away of their life.

Ill sum this movie up by just saying to stay away from this direct-to-DVD film.

It has no idea if it wants to be a thriller, a horror or a paranormal film.

The story seems so rushed that i kept saying "what?" "what about..." "whered that come from?" "WTF??"

If it was done right, this movie could have been better.

You're better off just watching the trailer for this movie, cause that, at least, is awesome. However, the full movie, is not.

Stay away. Stay far away.

V/H/S (2012)

Don't believe the hype. This isn't that great

[5/10 · 8 September 2012]

Im not going to draw this out or spoil anything for anyone. If you want that kind of review, read the others.

Ill sum this up by NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE!

The idea behind this is very interesting and if it was pulled off properly, it could have been a great horror flick, but it wasn't, so its not good. Its OK at best.

You got these 4-5 idiotic young guys with their VHS tape recorders taping their "fun", then get the idea to blackmail some old guy.

Then you got these "tapes" that are all filmed with newer technology, yet they're on VHS tapes? Come on. Keep with a g.d. theme, idiots!

Besides, with all the completely different stuff thats on these tapes, there's ZERO theme and just bounces from completely different to completely different, yet they want to black mail this guy with 1 particular tape?

My mind is spinning by the constant changes. I think all the individuals involved with this film were high as hell, because, again, NOTHING MAKES SENSE!!

I will say that of all the different "tapes", the one that i liked the best was the last one.

Do yourself a favor and don't pay to see this. You'll regret all 2 hours and your hard earned money going to waste.

Zombieland (2009)

A little late to the part, but....

[10/10 · 27 August 2012]

This movie was A-MA-ZING!!!

I really have no idea why i have waited so long to see this film! I have no excuses!!

There wasn't anything to this movie that i didn't like!

The humor was spot on. The acting was awesome. The zombies were perfect.

If i could give this move 11 stars, i would have!!!

I haven't seen a movie this good in a long time, and I've seen quite a few of the "block busters" recently!

Do yourself a favor, if you haven't seen this yet, CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE!!!!! You will not regret it!!

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Don't Waste Your Time

[2/10 · 26 August 2012]

In my youth, i HATED this film for the simple fact that it didn't follow the storyline nor the franchise whatsoever. I mean, it's in the title: Halloween!

As an adult now, (and going through a "i must watch these movies again!" phase these past few days) i decided to give this film another shot for what it is: a "horror" movie.

Wow. The kid in me is still correct: this movie blows. Even if they removed "Halloween" from the title and it was a film all on it's own, it would STILL blow!

Granted, the premise behind it (killing all the children) is disturbing, but as a film, what a waste.

Don't bother even TRYING to view this movie. You'll never get that time back.

There is nothing rewarding about this film whatsoever.

I gave it 2 stars simply for the fact that John Carpenter was involved and as a musician myself, he has always been a bright, shining star in the sky to me.