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Reviews
Grace (2009)
Wants to be edgy but ends up dull
Mild spoilers only.
The central idea behind Grace is that a vegan mother has a vampire baby and has to learn to cope with it. The basic premise is not exactly new, as this ground has been raked over by movies from It's Alive to The Unborn, but it still has promise. In the right hands it could make for a first-rate horror movie that breaks all sorts of taboos and/or examines any number of fascinating concepts.
Unfortunately writer/director Paul Solet is not up to the task. As writer Solet's imagination fails right after "vegan mother, vampire baby" and he drags the audience through a mere handful of blindingly obvious horror moments, populating his slow and uneventful story with a succession of cliché characters who rarely do anything unexpected.
The one exception is her mother-in-law from hell (not exactly an original concept itself), played by Gabrielle Rose, who goes a bit further in creepiness than I would have expected. Unfortunately her sequences are ultimately frustrating, as the movie ignore several chances to pay off on them in a satisfying manner.
As director, Solet shows no talent for pacing or tension. His shot choices are repetitive and unimaginative, and there is no depth or atmosphere in the lighting. The cast is uniformly weak, with most actors striking one note for the entire movie. Jordan Ladd does get to switch from "perky" to "tired/confused" but that's as deep as it gets. The sound design is even weak and when you notice that the movie has definitely failed to be involving.
The movie doesn't even succeed on a gross-out level. There is some gore, but it has no impact. Even the obvious wince-maker, a vampire baby breastfeeding, is misplayed.
I'm sad to have to give an unreserved thumbs down to Grace.
Desperate Teenage Lovedolls (1984)
Micro-budget classic
Desperate Teenage Lovedolls is one of the great unheralded no-budget movies. It deserves to be put on a shelf with Jim Van Bebber's Deadbeat At Dawn, Scooter McCrae's Shatter Dead, Buddy Giovinazzo's Combat Shock, and John Waters's Mondo Trasho. While not quite as extreme as any of those masterpieces, it has a curious naivety and punk-rock verve that makes it irresistible.
The story follows the rise & fall of a grrl punk rock band from the gutter to the stars and back. It features all the clichés - sleazy managers, drugs, murder, gang fights, Felix the cat, you name it. There's plenty of great punk rock on the soundtrack, and Redd Kross both back the Love Dolls and play roles in the movie.
The whole thing manages to wrap up in well over an hour, leaving us wanting more. Fortunately there's a sequel. I'm hoping for Part 3.
Eating Media Lunch (2003)
Class satire
The very funny and very sexy Jeremy Wells takes on the media in all its forms in this tasteless and hilarious satirical show.
There's something to offend everyone here, ranging from a real sheep being killed to a fake tongue being cut out. Even the least funny element in the show, the listless and pseudo-surreal cartoon Media Dog, manages to be incredibly offensive with rape, suicide and necrophilia jokes.
Among the highlights have been the Maori porno movie Anal Mana, the paraplegic game show contestant trying to have a good time in Christchurch for a hundred bucks, and a parody of the reality show Target showing the show's cameramen defecating on people's ovens.
Most bizarrely, very now and again (perhaps once every three episodes) BBC journalist Anita McNaught appears with a straight news item.
This is the kind of material New Zealand should be exporting.
Dead or Alive: Hanzaisha (1999)
Hilarious trash
Dead Or Alive is not one of director Takashi Miike's best movies, but it is great fun. The story is basically cops vs gangsters, with the added wrinkle of yakuza vs triads.
The middle hour or so of the movie is pretty standard fare for the most part, but the beginning and ending are bugf**k. The end in particular probably frustrates and annoys some people, but I found it hilarious.
A fun, '80s-retro visual style and some pretty good acting helps the movie immeasurably, as does the hard rock soundtrack.
A lot of the plot is pretty obscure, but I thoroughly enjoyed the movie as a fun ride. It's not as intense or graphic as some of Miike's movies such as Ichi the Killer, but it's worth seeing.
Aftermath (1994)
The best art-house autopsy necrophilia short ever made in Spain
With Aftermath, writer/director Nacho Cerdà has created one of the best short films I have ever seen, and created an artwork that is unique to cinema. Aftermath is not about telling a story, although it has a story; it is not about revealing character, although it does that too. It is the depiction of a moment in time and space. This moment could not be adequately described through words, or in painting, or even in music.
Cerdà's philosophical ideas about death are obscured for many viewers by the graphic nature of the movie and the taboo subject matter, but the clinical detachment of the first half of the movie helps gain perspective on it, especially when contrasted with the more intense and stylized second half.
This is not a film for the faint of heart or the narrow of mind, but if you've got what it takes it's extraordinary. It's best watched in the context of the recent DVD, along with its less extreme companion shorts.
Serenity (2005)
Perfect for fans, not sure about anyone else
I saw a screening of this movie the other day, and loved it. It was a real roller-coaster, both putting the audience through the emotional wringer and thrilling us with great action scenes. to top it all off, it wraps up the TV show it is spun off from, Firefly, in a more satisfying manner than I would have expected in a mere two hours.
People who haven't followed the entire series (in its far-too-short original incarnation) could possibly get lost, and would have nowhere near the same attachment to the characters. No real problem there - just see the series first, it's on DVD, and it's a cracking good character-driven horse/space opera.
Character arcs continue from the show. The performances are all superb, especially Nathan Follion as Mal, Summer Glau as River, and (my personal favourite) Alan Tudyk as Wash. The mixture of humour, tension and adventure is still present, though the stakes are even higher and the drama is more poignant.
I am deliberately not telling you anything about the plot. More than most movies, that is for you to discover as you watch it. I give the movie 10/10 for fans and 8/10 for non-fans, arriving at a mean average of 8/10. Don't miss it.
In the Belly of the Beast (2001)
Excellent documentary about REAL independent filmmakers
In the Belly of the Beast is a documentary set at 1997's legendary Fant-Asia Festival in Montreal, Canada. It really gets into the trials & tribulations of genuinely independent filmmakers - everything from spending years trying to finish a single film, funding problems (including criminal embezzlement by backers), right through to hostile audience & critical reactions.
The filmmakers themselves were a mixed bunch. Judging from the way they came across here, the one I'd most want to hang out with is Jim van Bebber who just seemed cool. The soft-spoken Nacho Cerda was also endearing, and I felt sorry for him when Chas. Balun verbally attacked him over his film Aftermath.
Festival organizer Karim Hussain annoyed me, but I ended up feeling sorry for him when no one would talk to him after the screening of his then-unfinished movie, Subconscious Cruelty. Deborah Twiss & Todd Morris's account of the making of their movie was amazing - not much else could possibly go wrong for them, but they managed to stay in good (sarcastic) humour while telling the story.
Some of the gory clips, especially from Aftermath, might keep some people from enjoying this very well put together documentary, which you can find on the 2-disc version of the Manson Family DVD.
Highly recommended!
Diabolik (1968)
Pop-art masterpiece!
This is a great-looking movie full of action, humour and all kinds of fun. The anti-hero, a super-criminal known only as Diabolik, dresses in a sexy black pervert suit (or occasionally a near-identical white one) when he's on the job, and looks like a dashing '60s hipster when in civvies.
One of the best things about the movie is how relentlessly amoral Diabolik is. He only cares about having fun and acquiring wealth for himself and his lover, Eva, and is happy to slaughter anyone who gets in his way.
Director Mario Bava makes the most of the '60s settings and fashions, the spy movie trappings and the absurdities of the situation, all the while maintaining a striking and ingenious comic-book look.
All in all the movie kicks booty over all comparable movies (such as Barbarella, Flash Gordon and the Bond movies) and deserves to be much more widely seen. Thank goodness for the excellent recent DVD release!