mlionfire Reviews

Against the Ropes (2004)

Um......

[1/10 · 9 March 2006]

I sat through all of this... and I have to say that it is another colossal and predictable waste of celluloid... Mz. Ryan is terribly miscast and nowhere near tough enough for this type of role... and that lace-up leather number she has on really accentuates the worst of her physical stature... I wish I could say something good about this movie... Meg Ryan has given us some pretty good movies in the past, but I can't seem to find any redeeming qualities... The whole thing needs a remake, with a different cast, as I believe that Jackie Kallen's story is valid to boxing history and should be told...

I thought that Tony Shalhoub, the actor who is Jackie's rival (also plays Monk on TV)has turned in a sight better performances than this before... sorry, but this is one dog of a movie you should avoid...

The Phantom of the Open Hearth (1976 TV Movie)

The Perfect Comedy....

[10/10 · 9 March 2006]

I've seen this once, way back in the winter of '76.... but it still remains as my favorite comedy... Why this is not screened more often or available to buy is beyond comprehension... the leg-shaped lamp, the afore-mentioned fiasco with the train full of boxed house parts... It is well-scripted, and funnier than anything else I've EVER seen... this is total brilliance... if anyone out there has a copy, PLEASE let me know...

If there's one film that will have you weeping with laughter until your gut muscles ache, this is it.... if you EVER get the chance to see this, do NOT pass it by.... you will remember moments in this film for the rest of your days...

Walk the Line (2005)

The June Carter Story...

[6/10 · 9 March 2006]

Watching this movie made me realize how much Reese Witherspoon outshines Joaquin Phoenix. It's a well-made movie that shows no matter how screwed up and talentless you are, you can still make it big by hanging in there.... I'm talking' about Mr. Cash now.... I could never understand why this this guy ever got popular, so I figured I'd watch the movie..... After seeing what I presume is a fairly realistic portrayal of Johnny Cash by Mr. Phoenix and the scriptwriters, I'm left with an overwhelming impression that Johnny Cash himself was an arrogant jerk, with a childish temper and little talent.

Kudos to the cast for singing the tunes instead of miming to the originals.... the early rock n' roll stuff is really good. A mistake I noted is that supposedly, back in 1952 when Johnny is buying a guitar, some of the models hanging in the store were not yet in production.

The Mummy Returns (2001)

Nobody got older except the audience....

[4/10 · 21 February 2005]

Huh.... Sheer stupidity in a movie rankles me.... so the demise of both the kid and Brandon's grasping brother(Jonathan)would have improved the film....

Too bad that there was not more of the Scorpion King(The Rock)in... especially in the closing scenes it seemed fairly obvious that computer generation ruled the roost....

Imhotep's return was just that, but his date(Velasquez) was more evil....

Same old, same old tricks by Imhotep, though somehow not as scary this time...

The lovely Rachel Weisz is lovely and fits the role... Brendan Fraser could've slept through this... I saw no stretch for him from the first movie to this one, except excessive and inappropriate 'snogging', especially on the bus...

I'm surprised Brendan Fraser's character wasn't a little more in control of his son, but I guess the makers decided they needed some sort of plot line, so they put a child in the line of danger to give some direction to the film..... Uuuuuurggggh!!!!! Am I the only one that found the boy's actions/interfering/meddling irritable? and Jonathan's continual self-enrichment program so unnecessary? I could only hope that Mummy 3 (if it gets made)can kill off the kid and his brother.... maybe they can use that as a story line with revenge for the deaths as the driving plot-line?.....

Definitely NOT as good as the first Mummy film, .... by a long shot! But still watchable.

Mountains of the Moon (1990)

Historical drama with exceptional photography...

[10/10 · 26 January 2005]

I have seen this movie several times and have enjoyed it immensely each time. The photography is beautiful and captures some incredible views of Africa. The story is of the adventure to discover the legendary source of the Nile, with the character of Richard Francis Burton(the famous 19th Century Irish Adventurer and translator of Kama Sutra and Perfumed Garden,who was fluent in many languages, and the English adventurer, John Speke. It is well worth the seeking out and watching, with the main incidents being historically accurate(such as who finally gets credit for the discoveries). It also brings into the light the prejudices of the Historical Society in the mid 1800's. An excellent movie!

Chattanooga Choo Choo (1984)

Train to Nowhere...

[1/10 · 26 January 2005]

Wonderful colors.... Hmmmmm what else can I say..... awful storyline, awful comedy, awful acting, just plain awful... even back then.... I'm always surprised when actors of the caliber of George Kennedy and Barbara Eden have their names associated with such turkeys as this movie.

It is well filmed, in glorious, almost surreal colors, which I think is it's only saving grace... I sat through this tripe hoping(nay, praying)that it would somehow lift itself out of the mediocrity that is established in the first few scenes.... But no, I was disappointed... This waste of celluloid will remain just that.... and I'm truly amazed at how rubbish like this actually gets released.... But the colors were wonderful.

The Scorpion King (2002)

Born to be king?

[21 July 2004]

Ho Hum.... Victor Mature coulda done this, Charlton Heston too... and Schwarzenneger.... Dwayne Johnson(aka The Rock)acts better in the wrestling ring... that being said, it WAS entertaining... and Kelly Hu is simply gorgeous, especially in some of the outfits she wears(or doesn't)...

It's worth watching, just to see Miss Hu, and also to get a preview of the Eyebrow in his first major role... I suppose if one were to compare Conan the Barbarian with The Scorpion King, probably Scorpion King would win out, but only because of modern special effects.... I can hardly wait for the Rocks next movie... NOT! But I'd sure like to see more of Kelly Hu on screen....

Mlionfire

Hollow Man (2000)

The title fits the leading role's acting ability...

[21 July 2004]

This movie could have been so much better... the special effects are great.... although it's a rehash of the invisible genre, there was so much opportunity to improve upon any of the previous movies of this ilk, but no..... I wonder who was the first choice of the casting director for Bacon's role.... He was memorable in Diner... even good in Tremors.... but this outing was not for him..... Johnny Depp would've saved the movie from mediocrity, although, to be fair, the director should shoulder some of the blame for this turkey. I'll give it 2 out of 5 for the special effects.... mlionfire

Terremoto en Guatemala (1978)

Of all the movies I've ever seen.....

[9 July 2004]

I sat through this drek shortly after it was released, during a visit to Guatemala early in 1977.... Given... the 1976 earthquake there was a terrible event, with many deaths and suffering.... BUT... talk about suffering... I sat through the movie's entire length hoping that somewhere, sometime, somehow, this celluloid drivel would actually redeem itself.... it didn't. Not only is it devoid of any acting ability, the scenes of the young bride trapped in the collapsed hotel are longer than Moses beard... but it is, without any doubt, the most dreadful film I have ever seen.... avoid at all cost!!!

First Monday in October (1981)

Superb Matthau in an unusual pairing with Clayburgh

[9 July 2004]

Walter Matthau will always be one of my favorites from the sleazy bar-owner in King Creole to Hopscotch(another unusual pairing with Glenda Jackson)to countless other films he has appeared in... His droll comments and quick wit are hilarious.... and Jill Clayburgh does stand up to the occasion of matching him in legal argument(although scripted).... Of all the Matthau pieces, I think this is well worth the time, though I think the title(refers to the first sitting each year of the Supreme Court Judges)could have been a little more enticing to the general public... I think as a result of the title this movie has been largely overlooked... It is a funny, believable piece, well worth catching if you can!

Hopscotch (1980)

Absolutely Delightful!!!

[9 July 2004]

This movie I have seen several times, though Glenda Jackson, albeit a fine, well-seasoned actor, is not one of my favorites... Just to watch Walter Matthau run rings around the CIA.... it's great, with good casting...especially a young Sam Waterson as Ned Beatty's young assistant(who, by the way, is rooting for Matthau).... the scene where Matthau holes up in Beatty's summer cottage and the ensuing one-sided gun battle with same is eye-watering... the descent of Beatty into sheer hatred for Matthau and his obsession with catching him.... Superb, even though the movie could have done with less foul-mouthing by Beatty's character(but it served the point of showing his lack of class, ineptness and total unsuitability for the job)... Definitely one of Walter Matthau's finer offerings, and a reminder that he was one of a kind.... All-in-all, an exceptional movie, and even after several viewings, still a great delight!