rorymacveigh Reviews

The Avengers (1998)

Oh Dear...

[1/10 · 19 September 2012]

Apparently American's taking the Mickey out of the British has hit an all new low and to be honest, I used to enjoy this film. It had some weird effects, some strange characters and Sean Connery (which is fantastic to begin with), but much like Batman and Robin, when I grew up, I couldn't help but think that this film is just a clumsy mess, attempting to portray the British as a bunch of 'Tea before Scones' types yet again, almost as if it were a propaganda movie. The acting is incredibly half-baked, showing that the actors really didn't put much effort into this film, the special effects aren't that special, the story is your basic 'hold the world for ransom' ploy and the rest I don't care to mention.

It's obvious they were trying to make their own version's of the Bond films by making things overly complicated in terms of devices and usage. For example, when Emma Peel is given a package by a secret mailman telling her to answer the phone in order to receive her orders. My question there is, why? Why not just phone her as she would just answer the telephone instinctively like any other person would, she doesn't need to be told how to do basic things by letter unless she suffers from learning difficulties. The instructions they give her are to meet her Secret Agent accomplice John Steed at a Gentleman's Club, a place where no women can go. How stupid is that? Also, when she get's there, John comments on how she doesn't play by the rules. Where the hell was that coming from? They were stupid enough to order her to go to this place where no women can go.

Next problem, Peel has video evidence incriminating her for sabotaging her own project and yet this secret Ministy allows her the chance to solve her own crime!!! What in the name of God are they thinking?! They think this is smart? Chances are if she was a real villain she'd head off with Steed before killing him in some dark alley and jumping the country within the first 12 minutes, and this Ministry, which seems to have a thing about giving Male Agents Female titles and Female Agents Male titles, wouldn't have a clue where she's gone. There's also a Clone of Emma Peel, which seems to hark back to the Double Man, and there's an Invisible Man! I though it was bad enough in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but this gag is really too stupid for words! Anyway, this film is just silly, with corny acting, a plain as cardboard story and logic that is illogical, you'd better just give it a miss!

Wrongfully Accused (1998)

I don't know why people hate this film so?

[10/10 · 19 September 2012]

When it came out in 1998, this film was hammered critically, but to be honest, I really don't have a problem with it, in fact, it is probably one of the funniest films I've ever seen, spoofing so many famous moments in film history including The Empire Strikes Back, North by Northwest, The Fugitive and many other timeless classics. That may not sound like much to begin with, but when you see how these spoofs are woven into the story, you'll be laughing your socks off in no time. Also the way they transform these spoofs is fantastic as well, changing the overbearingly large Bi-plane from North by Northwest into an RC model, and having Leslie Nielsen's character washing and polishing the van during a ripped off version of the Blockade scene from Clear and Present Danger.

On top of that, the acting is very good as well, with Leslie Nielsen playing the wrongfully accused Ryan Harrison, a man on the run for the murder of a rich statesman who was in fact killed as part of a Terrorist Insurtion. The story is you're basic sort of thing, ripping off the story of the Fugitive mainly, but other than that, it's the humour you've got to keep an eye out for. I recommend it to everyone!

King Kong (1976)

It's OK I guess...

[6/10 · 19 September 2012]

Following the completion of the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center as New York City's tallest and most Iconic structures, it was obvious that filmmakers were going to involve these two buildings in a monster movie somewhere along the line, and most likely have the monster climb the towers, jump from one tower to the other, or stand on both towers at the same time, you get the idea. Being one of the most famous monsters to ever rock Manhattan with his presence, King Kong was certainly one for the running and so in 1976, King Kong made another appearance in the City that Never Sleeps. Starring Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange, the film I find is quite good in some aspects but falls down in others.

The story is the basic Ape Escape drama, a group of explorers come across a backwater island where native's attempt to sacrifice Jessica Lange's character to King Kong who forms a relationship with the girl only to find himself fighting a giant snake or dinosaur which allows Jeff Bridge's character to save Jessica Lange's character which leads Kong into a trap set by a wealthy businessman who wants to exploit the towering beastie in order to add millions onto the millions he's already got but Kong escapes and goes on a rampage in New York eventually leading to the capture of Jessica Lange's character which results in Kong climbing the tallest building around and eventually being shot down by aeroplanes or helicopters which results in the emotional death scene at the end...

So that's the story, what about the rest. To be honest, the acting is quite good even though it has been made really very 70s with some of the essentially 'hippee' undertones by Jeff Bridges character. Jessica Lange is the pretty air-headed damsel in distress who really can't keep out of harm's way for more than five or six minutes. The model work is pretty good, especially with King Kong taking

Subway Trains and throwing them through the air before beating up Military Helicopters and the soundtrack is also fairly good as well. Although many people have panned this film because it's been considered a cheap knock off of the 1933 masterpiece, I don't think so to be perfectly honest, it's quite quirky in it's own way and remain's pretty faithful to the story. I'd recommend it as a Wet Saturday

Afternoon sort of film, but apart from that, it's nothing superbly special.

Treasure Planet (2002)

A Good stab at an old time story

[8/10 · 19 September 2012]

Often considered the bane of every literature based person, modernisation tactics in movies of old stories often end up being smashed critically and commercially. I seem to remember when this came out, Treasure Island fans were up in arms and ready to burn every cinema this film was playing in because they were afraid it would destroy the reputation of the classic novel. But really, I don't see what the problem is with this film, because it's actually really really good! I mean the idea of taking the original novel and setting it in space with robots and aliens may seem blasphemous to some, but really once you look beyond that, the film doesn't take the story too far off track, it just takes it into the future and adds robots and aliens.

In my own opinion, I find this film has a lot to tell viewers. It has all the famous characters, including Jim Hawkins, Long John Silver and all the other memorable faces from the story, but it tweaks their appearance slightly in order to make them set into the futuristic scene, and it does come up with some really original designs. Jim Hawkins is the emotionally unbalanced teenager who wants to escape his mundane life to explore the stars. Long John Silver is the mysterious cyborg ships cook who actually has a very good design to his appearance, including the robotic limbs and eye that do look pretty awesome for a character. He also has a heart of gold, even being a Pirate leader, he slowly forms a fatherly relationship with Jim which Jim had never had since it is revealed his father walked out on them when he was just a boy, leaving him with no guidance or anything to work towards. With this relationship, John Silver starts to make Jim come out of his shell, making him a much stronger character with more confidence and resolve to make his own way in life rather than just sticking to the simplicity he has forced himself to stay with.

On top of this, the animation is fantastic, the storyline is very close to the original, with the minor tweak here and there to make scenes from the original novel fit in more with the modern image, and it has some good strong characters (although I find BEN like many Martin Short characters quite annoying after the first 10 minutes). Overall, a great attempt at bringing the story of Treasure Island to a more younger audience and I'd recommend it to anyone of any age because not only does it have a great visual story to tell, it also has a morale that we can all learn from.

Astro Boy (2009)

Not as bad as some make it out to be

[7/10 · 19 September 2012]

Since I had watched all of the animated classics of this character, it seemed only fair that I should watch the 3D CGI movie that was created in 2009. I seem to remember the build up for this first feature length film starring the famous Speedo wearing hero was astronomical, fans everywhere were going ballistic, and judging by the trailers and other promotional activity, I wasn't surprised. This also made me rather curious as to what the outcome would be, and surprisingly, I wasn't really disappointed in what I saw. As a non-fan but general viewer, I saw the film as quite a quirky and enjoyable little film which did seem quite close to the story that I had observed in the original shows. Usually, films with large amounts of promotion often end in tragedy at the box office, washing up with a Commercial Success, but a Critical Failure. The all star voice acting cast was fantastic, including Nicholas Cage as the grief stricken Dr Tenma and Donald Sutherland as the power crazy President. It managed also to combine an interesting story between relations between robots and humans without treading too deeply into the more morose and prejudice side of things. Many fans I knew were quite disappointed with this film mainly because of the fact that Toby Tenma wasn't killed in a traffic accident but instead was killed by a killer robot and that during battle his clothes weren't ripped off like in the original series. And to be honest, that's something I wasn't exactly in the mood to see because I'm not some kind of pervert who likes to see little boy's clothes ripped off, even if he is still wearing Speedos. But at least they kept the Butt Cannon's, which I'm sure they just about got away with when it comes to British and American Censors. Apart from those few trivial points, I think this film is quite an enjoyable little treat for any one who is or isn't a fan of the show. I'd recommend it to children just as much as I would to adults!

Quatermass and the Pit (1967)

A fantastic piece of 60s thriller

[9/10 · 18 September 2012]

Of all the Hammer films I have watched, especially the Quatermass ones, this is by far the best, probably because it is the most epic. It has a fantastic story, some great special effects (for the time), a real feel of underlying horror and all the other aspects that make up a brilliant Hammer Horror Movie. To be honest, this film always sends tingles of excitement down my spine because it just encompasses all the aspects of a really well done movie with some real heart and soul to it!

The story begins at Hobbs End in London, where whilst extending an Underground Line, workers come across some kind of mass-burial site of humans believed to be well over 2 million years old. Digging further, they find a large metallic object they believe to be an unexploded bomb from World War II. Bomb disposal teams are called in to disarm the device only to find that it hasn't the characteristics of a normal German Bomb. After digging further, they find that it turns out to be shaped like some kind of missile, but nothing that had ever been made by Germany during the war. In comes Quatermass who curiously comes across the site after having some irate dealings with the Ministry of Defence who wish to turn his Rocket Project into a Military Experiment rather than the peaceful intent Quatermass has set for it. However, curiosity starts to arise as he finds out that in the area of Hobbs End there were suspicious sightings and random movements of objects that resulted in people being driven insane. This comes to a head whilst they try to enter a sealed off compartment inside the Missile shaped object. Using a hydraulic drill, they try to pierce the shell, but as they do, objects in the station begin to randomly move and what can be described as an ear-shattering Earthquake takes place inside the ship. Eventually they break through the seal, they discover a group of entombed Locust like creatures inside diamond like cocoons. Alien life is discovered and the World wishes to have answers. Quatermass believes that the presence of the alien ship and the strange happenings within Hobbs End are linked, believing there to be some kind of hidden part of the Human Mind which can be used to manipulate the area around them. Going back into the station, he uses a machine which can visualise images inside the Human Mind. What he discovers is that the Aliens were once the owners of humanity on a far away planet and what is witnessed are mass-executions and purges of the alien race in order to preserve perfection. However, the arrogant military types who are superior to Quatermass believe it is all a German Propaganda trick. Can Quatermass prove that there is real danger within Hobbs End? How easy is it to lock and unlock the hidden part of the Mind and more importantly, how powerful can these hidden powers be? Only the movie has the answer...

A real Hammer blockbuster, all the fun of the 1960s nostalgic setting combined with a brilliant story. What more can you ask for!

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

Unintelligibly Unitelligent

[1/10 · 18 September 2012]

Really, where did this film come from? I mean, the acting is totally goofy, the CGI looks like it was drawn on Paint and the story is about as fluent and coherent as...well... It isn't! I found myself confused as to whether Jeremy Irons was the main villain or the comic relief, mainly because his acting is more OTT than the whole of Battlefield Earth. Not only does he yell his lines like he was having an orgasm, but he also pulls some of the strangest facial expressions I've ever seen, some I didn't think could be pulled. The CGI is obvious and uselessly rusty, making Dragons look like pixelated messes from a 1980s NES game and as for the rest, I don't care thinking about it. The story has little to no purpose and Dragon's hardly ever appear, only one at the beginning, and about 5 or 6 at the end, the rest is just a group of kids running away from Jeremy 'Overacting' Irons and his accomplice who looks like he forgot to wash his mouth after brushing his teeth. They do end up in a few dungeons I give you that, but the rest is just running, and fighting. When I say fighting, I don't mean fighting like epic sword battles from Star Wars Revenge of the Sith or Lord of the Rings, I mean just repetitive swings of the sword at each other, just continuous up/down swings that just get boring. Overall, a really really weak film that is best kept clear of. If you come home drunk one night and are in the mood for something stupid, this is your film...

The Phantom Tollbooth (1970)

An enjoyable animated romp

[8/10 · 18 September 2012]

I remember this film I was always fondly attached to, mainly because its just such an enjoyable little film. It encompasses that nostalgic feel of animations together with a lovely and quite innocent little story. When I was younger, I didn't exactly pay much attention to the plot, but the idea of being able to get into a car that builds itself in your room and somehow become animated was just exhilarating to my young imagination and it probably will be to other children of that age.

The film begins with Milo, a young boy with way too much time on his hands. Spending another bored afternoon in his apartment, he comes across a strange present in his living room. Opening it up, a tollbooth and car magically form. On the tollbooth, a megaphone gives Milo instructions to get in the car and enter the tollbooth, taking him into another world of mad fun. This world has every strange creature that was ever conceived going around at once. It has the sludge like dull-drums which feed off the exhaustion of those who are unfortunate to travel within their swamp like surroundings and a Police Officer on one wheel who enjoys branding people Guilty until proved innocent on some of the most moronic charges. After a while, he comes across Tock the Dog, a Guard Dog with an Alarm Clock ticking inside him. Together, he and Milo travel to the Kingdom of Words where they meet the Humbug (a sarcastic charlatan who is rather simple minded) and the King of Words, who is in a feud with his brother, the King of Maths after the pair disagreed on whether Maths or Words were more important. Soon Milo finds himself on a quest with Tock and the Humbug to find the Princesses locked in the Castle in the Air, who hope to restore order and peace to the world. After stopping off at the King of Maths, the trio are now armed with the tools needed to face the various ghouls and demons that await them on their journey ahead. Can Milo and his friends make it to the Castle? Can they successfully defeat the dangerous monsters that await them? Only the movie can tell you...

The Pagemaster (1994)

*Snore...

[2/10 · 18 September 2012]

The whole makeup of this film is an absolute bore-fest, you might as well sleep through the whole lot because it would be no different if you put the effort in to watch this film. I mean it's meant to be adventurous and epic, but the way it goes about it is enough to make you cringe. On top of that, it features many different characters of famous literature including Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Captain Ahab, The Tiny People of Gullivers Travels and Long John Silver, but the problem with all these cameo's is, it doesn't explain who these people are or why they're famous. They just appear and disappear without a word to the audience of who these people are or what they're known for. Worse still, it features the uselessly bland expression that is McCauley Caulkin, who was the eldest in a line of three brothers who continue to keep up the family tradition of blank emotionless faces and acting that makes you want to cry or question whether or not you have a soul left.

The film begins with Richard Tyler, a young nervous bookworm of a boy who lives his life by statistics which means he hasn't the confidence to do fun things like most kids do without scrutinising them endlessly (if I had a child that bland I'd be very worried). Whilst building him a tree-house (which he most likely wont use), his father asks him to get some nails from the hardware store. Whilst on his way, Richard gets lost in a storm and finds his way to an old Library, where Christopher Lloyd is the strange Librarian who wants to enchant Richard into taking out some books from three categories, Horror, Adventure and Fantasy (treating them like they were the only three forms of book in existence, forget Sci-fi and Romantic Comedy, it's looks like there's only three in the world). But Richard only wants to use a phone. Whilst searching for the phone, he slips and falls, knocking himself out. When he comes to, the ceiling begins to drip on him and before long he is engulfed in a huge animated flood that transforms him into an illustration. He is soon confronted by the Pagemaster (a name that sounds dull to begin with, founder of the written word? More like founder of the most boring subject matter award!) He is soon sent off on a voyager (By way of supersonic library cart) and comes across his first booky friend, Adventure, a Scurvy Dog of a Book who wants Richard to check him out of the Library. It's not long before his second friend of the books arrives named Fantasy, a stuck up fairy like book. After escaping the Hounds of the Bascavilles, the trio becomes a quad as they bump into Horror, a simple minded book which is raggedy. Together, the group must find the Exit, but they must first face the various fictional monsters that lie ahead. Will Richard make it home? Will they ever find the Exit? Will Richard ever get his dad's nails? Set your alarm clock for 45 minutes time and you'll find out soon enough...

Again, very boring subject matter which has no reference to any of the famous characters that are featured in the movie. There are only three categories of literature that are explored and there is no reference to any other category so for viewers who are not fully embalmed in the world of literacy, they'll only believe that these three categories exist. Big shocker when they bump into Sci-fi, Non-Fiction or Heavily Indulged Romance (I'm talking to you "50 Shades of Grey"). Granted the animation can be quite enjoyable and I really do see that a lot of effort was made into making this film, but if only their time and effort was put into something that wouldn't have viewers snoring away merrily within the first 5 minutes. Good for a watch on a wet Saturday afternoon, but other than that, a real turn off...

Astro Boy (1963–1965)

Typical 60s animation

[7/10 · 18 September 2012]

I've never really been a fan of AstroBoy, but I often had an interest in the flying robot boy who buzzed around in a pair of black and green Speedo's beating up aliens and nasty bad guys. The first series of AstroBoy I decided to watch was this one, the 1963 original animated version and to be honest, it wasn't the best start to this show, my main gripe being the animation itself. For some reason in the 1960s, animated shows were really really low budget, which meant that they either had animation that was reused or they cut corners by missing out every other frame, resulting in very unsmooth animation or it would just be individual still frames one after the other. To me, that's a real copp out. Another reason why I wasn't a fan of this show was because it seemed rather perverse to be honest. Let me break it down for you.

In the future, the son of a brilliant scientist named Tobio Tenma is killed in a traffic accident and his father (Dr Tenma) vows to rebuild him as a robot in order to fill the hole left in his life. However, instead of just building an innocent robot, he built his robot with machine guns that fire out of it's butt-cheeks, an arm that turns into a cannon and legs that turn into jets so he can fly. By now you'd probably be asking yourself... Why? What possible reason could you have for rebuilding your son with guns and jets when his sole purpose in life is just to be his son? Does he hope for him to be a home defence system as well? There's no reason for it!

Anyway, Tenma soon becomes exasperated with Tobio as he is unable to grow like the other children so he has him sent to a circus. The brutal and malicious circus ringleader has Tobio do all kinds of dangerous stunts and even has him fight and destroy other robots in the ring. Enter Dr Elephant, a man from the Ministry of Science who is disgusted at the fact that these robots are being forced to fight to the death. The Ringleader does not listen to his complaints and continues regardless. However, a fire breaks out at the circus and Tobio saves the Ringleader from a crispy, deep-fried death. The next day they find that a bill is passed to allow robots to be free like normal citizens and thereby live their lives all well and good. Tobio is freed and given the name AstroBoy. His mission is thereby to go out and save the World over and over and over and over again.

In some aspects, this show is OK as it tries to tap into the various problems that the Robot Astro feels, such as not being able to determine the beauty of fireworks, or be able to understand the concept of maternal love, which for me seems quite a touching part of his story and one that's rather in-depth. But the problem is, the way the story is told unfortunately drags it down, i.e. The Half-Baked Animation. Also, there seems to be an emphasis on butt related things with robots, such as robots are charged through their butts, and Astroboy has cannons that fire out of his butt. Is there some kind of Boy Robot Related Butt Fetish going on here? I really don't want to find out to be honest. If you're looking for a good bit of nostalgia, this show is the place to visit, but if it's not your cup of tea, then by all means give it a miss...

Astro Boy (1980–2004)

A better stab, but a bit more morose

[8/10 · 18 September 2012]

Following the International Success of the 1963 version, an updated version of the show Astroboy was well in the works and in 1980, the show make it's television debut. This was the first show to have Astroboy in colour and also included many improvements, mainly in terms of the animation. Rather than it's predecessor, this show is much smoother in it's animation, with all the glitchy missed out frames now added in like they should have been in the first place. This show however loses out in terms of it's tone. The 1980s version has a much more darker tone to it, where a majority of Astroboy's missions end with bittersweet results.

The story is pretty much the same as the original, but it has had some tweaks, but that depends mainly on which version you watch. In the Japanese dub the story starts much like before. Tobio Tenma is killed in a traffic accident and Dr Tenma vows to fill the place in his heart with an overpowered and heavily armed boy robot to take his place. However, the differences begin here when during construction, a set of the blueprints for Astro are stolen by a thug named Skunk who takes them to his evil paymaster. In the months following his completion, Astro grows up as a normal little boy, enjoying the comforts of the life he had before (with the addition of being a robot and being able to fly and shoot lasers from his fingers). However, one day Astro becomes entranced by a strange urge to wander through the streets, this urge brought on by his brother, Atlas, who was built by the Evil Scientist bent on using him for his own evil deeds. When trying to rescue Astro, the tank in which they use to find him suddenly becomes blood-hungry and goes on a rampage. Astro puts his powers to the test and destroys the evil machine. After recovering, Astro and his father go on a cruise. However, Skunk and his evil master have other plans as they hope to sink the cruise ship by crashing it into an iceberg so they can claim all the gold held in the hold. Meanwhile Astro has problems as his father disowns him for being clumsy. Upset, Astro is befriended by a Circus Leader who urges him to sign a contract and join his circus. A few moments later, Atlas arrives and the ship is suddenly surrounded by an Icefield that he created. Astro goes out to clear the field of dangerous blocks and he successfully saves the ship. Moments later, he faces his brother for the first time and the pair battle it out in the ice field. Astro's innocent nature makes him unaware of the danger and he is quickly subdued by his more powerful brother. With Astro's batteries quickly drained (I'll tell you this happens a lot throughout this series), Atlas almost destroys him but instead flies away in order to save Livian, a Maid Robot he became emotionally attached to in an earlier scene. With Astro now out of power, the Circus leader puts him in a suitcase and takes him away, leaving Dr Tenma without a son for the second time. Meanwhile Atlas finds that Livian has been destroyed by the evil master for some trivial mistake and so he vows revenge attempting to kill the evil master. After being heavily damaged by missiles, he knocks the evil master from a cliff in his car in what apparently destroys him (it is later revealed he survived). Losing power, Atlas taps into a device that will rebuild and upgrade him into the super robot. Following this, the story is similar from before in that Astro is forced to perform in the circus although there are minor tweaks here and there, but it generally stays the same.

As for the American Dub, all the parts involving Atlas are removed, which I think is silly because when Atlas appears in later episodes, no one knows who he is or where he came from, in the Japanese version, you are able to find out what his mysterious past is and thereby put a name to a face, rather than just having this strange character appear before us.

How does this show stand? Actually not bad. I mean it has some really dark undertones, such as racism and prejudice as well as there being a lot of bittersweet endings to Astro's endeavours, but overall it's quite an enjoyable show. The animation is remarkably good compared to the earlier show and some of the stories are quite unique. Overall, I'd recommend this film to older children because a lot of people do get killed and the violent undertones don't exactly suit. But other than that, It's still pretty good...

Astro Boy (2003–2004)

Astro's stab at the 21st Century

[8/10 · 18 September 2012]

Out of all three of the versions, I'd have to say this one is by far the best version of the Astroboy cartoons. It's structured, its well animated, its got a great storyline with some well developed characters and it's generally a fun watch for adults and children alike. Again there are some gripes and some changes between the Japanese and American dubs, mainly being the lack of an episode here and there as well as the removal of many scenes which link back to Astro's past as Tobio, the son of Tenma. Because American Children's TV is more censored than Japanese Children's TV, a large number of scenes involving the death of the real Tobio and the creation of Astro are removed so as not to seem disturbing, these scenes however do appear in the Japanese Original Version, so if it's story you're looking for, you'll find it there. It also attempts to try and appeal to the more modern audience with catchphrases such as 'Let's Rocket' and other things that make it more like a Pokemon Cartoon, dampening down the more serious story. Thankfully, these unnecessary pieces of silliness are reduced to only two or three episodes which have little to no impact on the overall story. This series also has probably the best version of Dr Tenma. In the 1963 version he was a loud mouth and obnoxiously silly character which wasn't fun to watch, he just seemed really insane. As for the 1980 version he wasn't as mad, but he was still quite a stroppy and unenjoyable character. This version, he is subtle, calculative, manipulative and generally just down right evil. The character behind Tenma is much more developed, as is seen in the final few episodes of the series where Astro's past is revealed. Instead of getting rid of Astro because he was clumsy or couldn't grow or something stupid like that, instead he removes Astro because Astro starts to develop the same defiance as the original Tobio did, sort of a Totalitarian type father who doesn't take questioning of his authority well. Although quite clee- shee with the dark gloomy castle and the organ playing, he truly is a fantastic villain. There are also some more light hearted tones with Astro's silly sister Zoran and his friends who keep getting into mischief. Overall, a really fun series and definitely worth a watch.

Phineas and Ferb (2007–2024)

Funny and Enjoyable

[9/10 · 18 September 2012]

When it comes to animation, I absolutely detest the latest trend of animating with 3D CGI or with Adobe Flash player as it seems so cheap and a real copp out. On top of that a majority of these shows have useless stories, horrible writing, idiotic images of an incoherent nature and some pretty disgusting attributes. So when I first watched this show I was quite sceptical of what I was going to see. But I was to be surprised, greatly surprised, this show is fantastic! Unlike it's peers, Phineas and Ferb has a good selection of humour which doesn't lend itself to repetitive themes or insufferable puns, nor does it lend itself to imagery that attempts to give obvious and dumb humour but fails at that as well. The jokes in this show are really quite clever and even make me chuckle.

The main story is as follows. Two really inventive brothers named Phineas and Ferb are trying to spend their Summer Vacation by building all kinds of strange devices and rides to amuse themselves with. All the while their sister Candis is trying to get the two busted by having their mother catch them building and using these incredibly dangerous devices, usually with no success as somehow or other their creations disappear just before their mother arrives on the scene, making her question her daughters sanity. Meanwhile, the boy's pet Platipus doubles as a Secret Agent for the government, helping to stop the evil plans of the clumsy, yet somehow villainous, Dr Doofenschmirts as he plans to overrun the Tri-State area with his moronic contraptions, again with no success as Perry always flies in and destroys his evil inventions, which indirectly helps to hide Phineas and Ferb's building projects before Candis can give them away.

Overall, this show is truly unique and a real joy to watch. With plenty of amusing jokes and insane adventures, it will keep your kids amused for hours!

The Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue (1998 Video)

Woah be to anyone who has the misfortune to watch this...

[1/10 · 15 September 2012]

This movie isn't bad, this goes beyond bad. This film is so bad, so utterly putrid, it falls off my list of horrific movies and down into the dark hellish depths of oblivion. What's wrong with this movie? What's right with this movie!! There are so many damningly bad things with this film that you'd probably have trouble counting them.

The first and main problem is in the title, 'Timmy to the Rescue'. Why in God's name is Timmy the hero of this movie when he was essentially the main problem of the last one?! In Secret of Nimh 1, Timmy had Pneumonia which meant he couldn't go outside of their bottle which mean that Mrs Brisby couldn't move the family which meant that she had to go through all that trouble to protect this trouble-making little horror!

Following that, these people are the biggest bunch of hypocrites that ever walked the Earth. In the beginning of the movie, Timmy is bigged up to be this real prophesy, so from the very start he is weighed on hand and foot and has every wish granted whilst they throw parades for him, only in later life they call him arrogant and full of himself. Oh dear, I wonder why? Could it possibly be because you spent the whole of his childhood bigging him up into this right old hero?

Also in one scene, a very large and obviously bloodthirsty snake is approaching the valley. Timmy blows the snake away with a weather balloon, only to get told off for losing the weather balloon and lectured on how the valley is safe enough. Hold on a second, Did you fail to see that angry snake coming at the Valley? Or were you looking in the other direction? Either way, you should be grovelling to this kid for saving your dead end life rather than doing him down!

The next and biggest problem is the story of Martin. Possibly the most controversial part of this film is Martin's capture and transformation into the main villain. First problem, they don't show us or tell us how and when he was taken by Nimh. We only find out when the girl tells Timmy that the person sharing the cell next to her in Nimh years earlier was Martin. So when was he captured? How was he captured? And more importantly, how come nobody told Timmy this had happened?! Does news not travel in Thorn Valley or was he too busy being a God on Earth he didn't notice that part?

And the rest is an abominable mess that I don't even bother questioning because it's just a waste of my time and yours! This film isn't enjoyable for kids and certainly not for adults as it will call your sanity into question! Steer well clear folks! And I mean, very well clear!!

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Really taking a step backwards

[3/10 · 15 September 2012]

After the success of Casino Royale, you'd Quantum of Solace to do nothing but keep up the brilliant work that was put into its predecessor...

Oh how mistaken we were...

This film has really taken the subtlety and class of the previous film and thrown it away in order to accommodate some of the more idiotic themes of the previous Bond films we'd hoped never to see again. All of the moronic dancing girls in the title scene, the over the top killing scenes, the ridiculous one liners, the going to bed with every girl in sight that was taken away in Casino Royale has shamefully been returned when there was so much promise that could have been done. A majority of the criticism for this film came from viewers who didn't understand the story unless they watched Casino Royale before hand. Since I've watched both that's not a problem for me, however, everything else about this movie is...

Within the first 5 seconds, you can probably tell the one fundamental flaw with this film. The camera angles are so short and flashy, I'm surprised we all haven't been reduced to gargling simpletons on the living room floor. The camera's just cannot take a scene and develop it for more than half a second. One second Bond is being chased, less than half a second later and after a dizzy flash of about 5 or 6 shots, the bad guy's car is falling off a cliff. I really cannot fathom what is going on.

Overall, this is an unmitigated mess with no real originality. So much so they even reused the gag from Goldfinger where the girl is painted in Gold, only this time she's painted in oil. I'm not sure what Skyfall is going to be like, but I hope to God it goes back to the good old ways of Casino Royale in order to rescue the Bond Franchise once again!

Moonraker (1979)

My least favourite Bond film

[1/10 · 29 August 2012]

I mean, just the idea of this is unbelievable, James Bond goes out into space and fires lasers to stop an evil man from making a Space Colony and gassing Earth. Those words alone should be the biggest turn off for any viewer, but apparently that's not the case.

There are really too many Clichés in this film that you'll lose count within the first five minutes of which I have listed below:

• Instead of either shooting or stabbing Bond, they decide it's better to take what appears to be a very expensive plane and abandon it in mid- air, leaving Bond to tumble helplessly from the sky. Bond breaks free from his bonds (forgive the pun) and steals the nasty bad-guy's parachute and attempts to fight off Jaws (yes, him from the last one with the steel teeth), who is left crashing into a Circus Big Top.

• Rather than secretly killing him whilst Dr Goodhead is away, Drax instead sends his personal Ninja (wierd isn't it?), to turn up the G- force simulator to the point of death. Bond uses his special watch to blow up the controls and shut down the machine.

• Assassins to turn Bond into Swiss Cheese in the most obvious and overly engineered way possible. Bond escapes in what many have considered the stupidest escape method ever, using a Hovercraft disguised as a Venician Gondola! If you don't think that's stupid, I don't know what is!

• Rather than using a concealed assassin in the dark rooms, they instead have the Ninja from before try to slice him into Exotic food with a Sword. After running amok and smashing the Glass Museum into a broken mess, Bond is able to kick the Ninja out the front of a clock and down onto a restaurant below.

• Jaws (yes, he's still in this movie), cuts the steel cables with his razor sharp teeth before confronting Bond and Goodhead on the Cable Car as it tumbles to the bottom. Bond and Goodhead escape just in time for the car to smash straight into the bottom station. Again, Jaws, despite everyone else around him being dead from the impact, manages to calmly walk away, and in so doing comes across a girl and the pair fall in love.

• A group of henchmen in speedboats attempt to sink Bond in the Jungle. A concealed sniper would have worked perfectly, if not, pre-placed Depth Charges.

• Rather than having Bond and Goodhead put up against a wall and shot, he instead feels it necessary to put Bond under the blast pad of the launching Moonraker rocket and thereby cremate them. This of course leaves our heroes with ample time to escape and Drax's rocket blasts off into space, our heroes stowing aboard at the same time.

• In space, a Space Shuttle (which would normally take months to plan and prepare)full of Marines has been whistled up in a matter of hours to come to the aid of our heroes, resulting in a Laser Fight in Space!! This isn't the Battle of Yavin, this is James Bond!!

Like many films of that era, it suffers from the Star Wars effect, where it feels the need to add lasers and space adventures so that it can keep with the current trend. But when you're dealing with James Bond, that cannot and will not work! Roger Moore's acting is quite enjoyable, with his endless run of One-Liner's coming over the hill like the American's at Iwo Jima and Michael Lonsdale makes a really good villain as the menacing and calculative Drax. But other than that, this film falls through the floor faster than Dr Schnider in The Last Crusade. Don't get me wrong, the idea of Social Cleansing with Nerve Gas can make a good story, but not when you apply it in Space with Lasers. It could have been a regional thing, possibly an act of Chemical Warfare on a neighbouring country, or an attempt at Ethnic Cleansing, but no, they had to drag it to the stars and leave it with it's head in the clouds. It's long winded, overly complex and just cannot be Bond...

A View to a Kill (1985)

Deserves a lot more credit

[8/10 · 29 August 2012]

Many people feel that this is the weakest Bond ever made and somehow is worse than the implausible Moonraker. But to my mind, this film is great in comparison and would actually come quite a way up my list of Bond movies. The film is the final outing of Roger Moore before he handed over the role to Timothy Dalton and I can see why as he really is looking his age. But even though he may not be as agile as he was and he may need a few more stunt doubles than is necessary, he still does a pretty stand up performance. Christopher Walken also plays an enjoyable bad guy as the psychotic Max Zorin, a Genetically Engineered Child of a Nazi Scientist who has incredible intelligence with the side effect of psychotic behaviour. He plays a really quite complex villain which can go from menacingly calm to psychotically over-the-top.

The film follows the story of Bond as he tries to stop the evil Zorin from flooding Silicon Valley near San Francisco by way of causing an earthquake on both faults located in the area. A pretty reasonable story if you think about it. How can Zorin achieve the ability to control Geomorphology? How can Bond stop him? Why does he want to destroy the Valley? Only the movie holds the key.

As mentioned, not over the top, quite humorous in places and apart from that, has the best Bond Theme I've heard in a long time, up there with 'You Know My Name' from Casino Royale!

Live and Let Die (1973)

An interesting and fun little story

[7/10 · 29 August 2012]

After the enjoyable game with Bond in Diamonds are Forever, Live and Let Die keeps that streak up nicely, combining quite a complicated plot with some good music, camera-work and most of all, good acting, especially from Roger Moore, who had only just taken up the role after Sean Connery made a last minute comeback in the previous film. Being the oldest Bond so far to take the character (Moore already being 45 years old), he certainly is able to keep up with the various stunts and fight scenes that even younger actors find themselves struggling to keep up with.

The film begins with a string of murders across the Americas. The British Delegate to the United Nations is electrocuted, a Secret Service agent in New Orleans is murdered, and an agent in a Caribbean Dictatorship is brutally killed in a voodoo ritual. Intelligence gathers that it is possibly due to a drug ring that is operating on both the Island and in the US mainland, so Bond is sent to investigate. The Dictator of the island, Dr Kananga, uses a girl called Solitaire to predict the future using an ancient magic of Card Reading. He predicts the arrival of Bond and sends out the muted 'Whisper' to assassinate him by putting a bullet in his driver, which sends his car flying out of control down the FDR in New York. Bond is able to stop the car and he escapes unscathed. Felix, who is monitoring a voodoo shop in Lower Manhattan, tracks Whisper to it and Bond goes to investigate. Following his 'Pimpmobile' in the back of a Taxi, Bond is lead to a sleazy bar in Harlem and is confronted by the insidious gangster Mr. Big and the mysterious Solitaire. In his usual cocky nature, Bond asks her to predict something with them, and she predicts that they will be lovers, which causes Solitaire to be distressed. Big puts Bond to death but an FBI agent has been following Bond and saves him at the last minute. It is reported that Kananga has returned to his island and so Bond follows, believing there to be a connection.

On the island, Bond finds himself at a hotel where the mad voodoo wizard Baron Samedi is performing. Whilst Bond showers, a poisonous snake is put through his door (or should I say vent), but Bond quickly subdues the serpent, only to be confronted by the initial love interest, Rosie Carver, a ditsy FBI Agent who is assigned to the same case. The pair investigate the island, but it is revealed remarkably quickly that Roise is a double agent working for Kananga. Distressed by one of Baron Samedi's voodoo heads, she runs into the woods with Bond following, but she is killed by a covert pistol inside one of the Voodoo heads (why they don't just shoot Bond at the same time is still a mystery to me). That evening, Bond hanglides into Solitaire's Palace by the sea and confronts her again about the card predictions. He asks her to predict again and again she finds the Lovers card, but it is revealed that Bond had switched the entire pack to be Lovers (cheeky). The pair make passionate love, but Solitaire is distressed that her powers will have been stripped from her with the loss of her virginity and that Kananga will kill her for being no longer a use to him. Bond and Solitaire escape from the Palace and discover a concealed field of Poppies which are used to make Heroin. The pair soon find themselves escaping the Police in a London RT Bus. After ripping off the top deck with a low bridge, they escape on a boat back to New Orleans. Bond finds himself captured at an airport in New Orleans as the group intend to take him up in a Learjet and throw him into a lake at 10,000 feet. Bond manages to escape and steals a small plane which he speeds around the taxiway with. Eventually eluding his pursuers, he and Felix investigate another sleazy bar in New Orleans. Bond finds himself captured again by Mr. Big, who demands to know whether Bond had taken Solitaire's Virginity. Demanding to see Kananga, Kananga reveals himself as Mr. Big in an elaborate disguise as part of his drug running organisation. But Kananga asks Bond if he has slept with Solitaire. When he finds out that he has, Kananga turns Solitaire over to Baron Samedi to be sacrificed, as her ability to read tarot cards is gone.

Meanwhile, TeeHee takes Bond to a large alligator farm in the Bayeuxs and he is left on a small island to be devoured. Can Bond escape the nasty looking crocs and save Solitaire in time? Will Kananga's evil drug dealing business be shut down? Only the film has the answer...

Again, it's an enjoyable film and one I'd recommend for a rainy afternoon. The acting is enjoyable, the characters are fun, the story is believable and there's just a general sense that a lot of effort was put in by this director and crew to try and emulate the success of Diamonds are Forever. I enjoy watching this film and I recommend it to anyone. Be you in for a laugh, a crime thriller, a good action scene, you'll find them all here.

Casino Royale (2006)

My favourite James Bond movie!

[10/10 · 29 August 2012]

This film takes everything a good spy thriller needs, and puts it all in, Shaken, but not Stirred. It's smooth, it's cool, it's unbelievably subtle, there's no Overly Complicated Killing Scenes, no long winded sex scenes, no ten a penny girls and most importantly, it has a story that stands up on it's own!

The film begins in Cold War Czechoslovakia, where Bond is sent to kill a British Agent who has been selling secrets to the Soviets. This is before Bond has been issued a 00X rank and has to have at least two kills under his belt before he can be given such a prestigious but dangerous rank. In previous flashbacks, Bond is seen killing the agent's contact in a bathroom, his first kill. Bond then achieves his rank by nonchalantly dispatching the agent. What follows is what has to be the best opening to a movie I have ever seen in my entire life. A fast paced thrill ride of flying cards, henchmen being killed by clubs, Kings, Queens, Jacks and Aces, and not a single one of those monotonous dancing girls in sight! (This is where I knew this film was going to be a good-en!)

We then move to Uganda, where a Freedom Fighter is setting up an account with a financier names Le Chiffre, who works through an organisation known as SOLICE to fund terrorist groups throughout the globe. Le Chiffre is a subtle but calculative character, sly in motive, but sinister in appearance, and one of my favourite Bond villains. We then move to Madagascar, where Bond and a fellow agent are tracking a bomb-maker. After his assistant is spotted, Bond proceeds the chase the Bombmaker through a Construction Site and into the Namibian Embassy. Violating all international codes, Bond enters the building and takes the man hostage before dispatching him and escaping. In his backpack, Bond finds a set of explosives and a text message on his phone with the word 'Elipsis' written. Meanwhile, News spreads across the World about Bond's rash invasion of the Embassy, and M and Bond have a heart to heart conversation about how she is ready to feed him to the press if he doesn't stop his rash behaviour. But this is not before Bond has tracked the origin of the text to a location in the Bahamas.

Continuing his mission, Bond arrives at a Seaside hotel and after creating a rather humorous distraction, scans the security tapes to find that the person who made the text was a Greek man named Alex Dimitrios, a known Arms Dealer and hirer of mercenaries. Bond introduces himself to Dimitrios in a game of Poker, in which Bond emasculates him by taking a large portion of his money and of course, his Aston Martin DB5. After seducing his girlfriend, Bond is able to learn that Dimitrios is flying to Miami. Bond follows him to an art museum where he sees Dimitrios place a baggage tab on a Poker chip. After a subtle attempt to murder Bond, the Secret Agent gets the upper hand and quietly kills Dimitrios. Upon returning to the Poker chip, he finds it missing and after using Dimitrios' mobile phone to track the agent, Bond follows him back to the airport. Disguised as an Airport Security Officer, the agent sets off the alarm and steals a fuel truck in order to crash it into a Skyfleet Prototype Jetliner. This will send Market's Tumbling and since Le Chiffre has bet against the markets, it will make him a rich man and allow him to fund his terrorist groups. Bond is hot on his tail as the pair have a long fight in the cab of the tanker truck. The agent sets a bomb underneath the cab and jumps out. Bond is able to stop the truck with inches to spare and is arrested by Police. The smug looking agent sets off the bomb but realises that Bond has attached it to his belt, blowing him up.

Because the stock markets didn't fall as he wanted them to, Le Chiffre searches for a new way to get his money back by setting up an all steaks game at the Casino Royale in Montenegro. Bond joins the game, and on the way meets with his new assistant Vesper Lynd, an agent for the Treasury, who is there to make sure the money goes where necessary. Can Bond beat Le Chiffre in the game and save the much needed millions? Is there a relationship brewing between the reluctant Vesper and Bond? Only the movie has the answer...

As mentioned, this film is just, fantastic! It really is. I loved every minute of it and could watch it over and over again. No cocky one liners, no half baked schemes, just some good honest British Spy Action! Give this Director a knighthood!

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

An enjoyable ending to the Star Wars Franchise

[7/10 · 29 August 2012]

So Star Wars has come full circle, with this final instalment of the Star Wars saga, Anakin's final transformation into the Dark Lord, Darth Vader. Much like Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith has some very good acting from the main characters and really does capture the emotions of our heroes as they turn against one another in a daring battle between good verses evil. However, many scenes are rather spontaneous and for the uninitiated, the opening scene of the massive battle above Coruscant is explained in the 2003 Cartoon Series, Star Wars the Clone Wars, where the final 3 or 4 episodes cover the story involving the battle and the capture of Chancellor Palpatine by the Droid Leader General Grievous.

As mentioned, the opening to this movie begins above Coruscant with a vicious and brutal battle taking place. Recently returning from another mission, Anakin and Obi Wan are assigned to rescue the Chancellor from General Grievous' flagship 'The Invisible Hand'. After making it aboard, the pair fight their way to the main observation tower before confronting the evil Count Dooku. After removing both of his hands, Anakin avenges himself upon the Sith Lord under the persuasion of the Chancellor. However, the trio are captured and brought before the General, after a quick battle in the Bridge, the ship plummets from the sky, eventually crashing down onto a landing platform where the trio make it from the battered hull pretty much unscathed. After taking the Chancellor back to the Senate, Anaking and Padme reunite where it is revealed that she is Pregnant with his child. However he begins to have frightened nightmares about losing her and he slowly begins to fall to the other Dark emotions such as anger and frustration. He also begins to question the loyalty of the Jedi Council to the Republic after he is assigned to spy on the Chancellor. Invited to an Opera Performance, the Chancellor plays on his fears of loss and tells Anakin a story of how a Sith Lord was able to stop those he loved from dying using the force, which plays on Anakin's mind. Meanwhile, Obi Wan is called away to Utapau where it is revealed that General Grievous and the Seperatist leaders have been hiding out. After a long and complicated battle and chase through the Utapau caverns, Obi Wan eventually kills the General by blasting his internal organs with a gun. Back on Coruscant, Chancellor Palpatine reveals himself as the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, and Anakin grants him mercy due to his mixed emotions. However, Mace Windu and a few other Jedi Master's confront the Sith Lord and after a brutal fight in the Chancellor's apartment, Mace Windu has the dark lord cornered. But Anakin arrives and saves the Sith Lord from Mace Windu by slicing off his hand before he is blasted out of a window with Force Lightning. With no other choice, Anakin pledges himself to Darth Sidious and is thereby dubbed Darth Vader. His first order of business is to destroy the Jedi Council by invading the Jedi Temple and slaughtering all inside. Meanwhile an order is given to Clone Legions across the Galaxy to kill any Jedi they come across, including Obi Wan and Yoda. However, the pair escape and rendezvous with Senator Organa on his ship the Tantive IV. Unaware of the events on Coruscant and Anakin's conversion to the Dark Side, the group attempts to sneak into the Jedi Temple to send out a message to any remaining Jedi to stay away from Coruscant, in the meantime finding out that Anakin has become the sinister Darth Vader. Meanwhile, Vader has travelled to Mustafar to slaughter the Seperatist Leaders whilst Darth Sidious proclaims himself Emporer Palpatine and thereby creates the Galactic Empire. After telling Padme that Anakin has fallen into Darkness, she desperately goes to Mustafar to find him, with Obi Wan stowing aboard. Believing her to have betrayed him, Vader chokes her half to death before beginning a long and complicated fight scene with his former master and friend. Meanwhile, Yoda attempts to face the Emporer head on in a vicious fight scene within the Senate. However, Yoda is defeated and after escaping Corsucant, goes into exile. Meanwhile, our two heroes find themselves riding the rivers of Lava as they battle to the end and after attempting to slice down on Obi Wan, Vader has his arm and legs cut off before falling down the slope. In the immense heat, he catches fire and is badly mutilated, Obi Wan leaving his fallen friend to burn on the slopes. However, Vader uses the force to save himself from death and the Emporer arrives in time to take him back to Coruscant, where he is rebuilt and placed into the Black Armour. Meanwhile, Padme gives birth to Anakin's children, Luke and Leia before passing away. It is then decided amongst the group that Senator Organa will bring up Leia as his own whilst Obi Wan takes Luke to Anakin's brother and sister-in-law to be brought up by them before they all go into exile. All the while, Darth Vader and the Emporer preside over the construction of their Ultimate Weapon, the Death Star...

As mentioned, some great acting and some incredible special effects, in my mind a great way to end one of the most famous Film Franchises ever to hit the cinema's. There are many depressing scenes within the movie which I wouldn't recommend for younger kids but apart from that, its quite a good film for all sorts of ages and definitely worth a viewing.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

My all time favourite Sci-Fi film

[10/10 · 29 August 2012]

Star Trek II is not only for me my favourite Star Trek film, but it is by far my favourite Sci-Fi movie, combining Shakespearian acting with a complicated story of revenge as well as adding top of the range special effects (for the time) and a soundtrack that continues to be one of my favourite film scores!

The film begins in space as a Vulcan Lieutenant named Saavik takes charge of a starship. Upon receiving a distress signal from a cargo freighter, Lieutenant Saavik orders their craft into an area known as the Neutral Zone, whereupon they are attacked and nearly destroyed by a group of Clingon Vessels. It is revealed however that this is all a Training Simulator overseen by Admiral Kirk. Kirk is starting to feel blue as his age is now starting to dictate whether or not he can still command a starship, and this is starting to show on the crew. Meanwhile, the Starship Reliant is on a mission to locate a barren planet upon which they can test 'Genisis', a device that plans to create life on dead worlds by reorganising matter on a molecular level. Commander Chekov and Captain Terral beam down to a barren desert planet with violent storms known as Seti Alpha VI. After coming across a group of Cargo Bays, Chekov is distressed by the sight of the ship's name 'Botany Bay', but before the pair can escape they are captured by a group of men led by the sinister Khan. Khan reveals to them that the planet they are on is Seti Alpha V and that due to the explosion of it's sister planet, the orbit has been knocked irreparably off balance and all that was once luscious has been obliterated. Khan, now feeling betrayed by Kirk for the events that took place 15 years earlier during the original series, plans revenge for the death of his wife. To do this, he places mind controlling bugs into the ears of Chekov and Terral so that they will become his loyal servants. Meanwhile, Kirk and the Crew of the Enterprise prepare to head out on a training mission. However the mission is called off when Kirk's estranged wife, Dr. Marcus, sends him a message saying that the Genisis project is being taken from their test satellite, Regula 1, by the Reliant with no authorisation. The group then make their way to the Satellite but come across the Reliant en route. Unaware that it has been hijacked by the evil Khan and his band of genetically engineered soldiers, Kirk keeps his shields down believing it to be a friendly ship. Now in range, Khan blasts the Enterprise mercilessly with fasers, leaving the vessel short on power. Moments later he reveals himself to Kirk over the Comm Screen, and demands the surrender of the Enterprise and the surrender of all data regarding project Genisis. Kirk uses the time given to gather the data to instead hack into the Reliant's computer and lower their shields so that the Enterprise can retaliate. After receiving several hits from the Enterprise, the Reliant retreats back into space. Repairing what damage they can, Kirk and the Enterprise proceed to Regula 1. What will they find at Regula 1? Can they stop Khan from stealing the Genisis Device? How will Kirk be able to stop his Genetically Engineered Nemisis? Only the movie gives you the answer...

What can I say? It is a fantastic film, and still one of my favourites! The acting, the special effects, the character development, the story and of course the soundtrack are just unbelievable! I recommend it to one and all, be you Trekkies or not, this film will have you sitting on the edge of your seat the entire way!

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984)

It's good, but it has nothing on Khan...

[6/10 · 29 August 2012]

This film is interesting, but suffers from that famous disease known as Sequilitis, the symptoms being reused ideas, reused jokes and a substantially less amount of originality. Where Wrath of Khan had all the original ideas, this film fills in where new idea's could have been with incredibly long winded fight scenes or large patches of dialogue. Don't get me wrong, it's by no means a bad film, but it is rather tedious to watch, although it does continue to contain many of the aspects that Wrath of Khan had including good special effects and enjoyable acting, although the Soundtrack and Storyline have suffered.

The Story begins following the events of Star Trek II, Spock died to save his friends and was blasted onto the Genisis planet, the Enterprise returns home for repairs and Kirk takes a well deserved break, but this is interrupted by his father, who is angered by the fact that Kirk fired Spock's body onto Genisis when his father would have wanted Spock returned home in order to carry out a ritual to bring him back to life. Meanwhile, Dr McCoy has been acting strangely, and believes himself to be Spock after Spock transferred his mind into McCoy just before sacrificing himself in the reactor. Dr McCoy now wants to return to Genisis in order to return Spock's mind to his body, but he is not allowed to as Genisis has been cordoned off by the Starfleet until it has been fully examined by, Lt. Saavik, Dr Marcus and her son. As the pair go down to examine the planet, their ship is destroyed by a renegade Clingon Commander, played by Christopher Lloyd. Now stranded on Genisis, their party decides to look around where they find a young Vulcan child, who is in fact Spock, who has been reborn by the growing life of Genisis. Meanwhile, Kirk and crew break Dr McCoy out of the Brig (he was arrested for trying to get to Genisis illegally) and they hijack the Enterprise. After a pretty slow chase scene, the Enterprise blasts off into Warp Speed whilst pursuing ships break down rather pathetically after Scotty had a bit of One-to-One time with their internal working parts. Meanwhile on Genisis, Spock (who is now grown to the age of a teenager) and Saavik, attempt to carry out a Vulcan Bondage ritual as part of Spock's growth from child to man. However, the Clingons find the group and take them prisoner. In space, the Enterprise arrives only to be confronted by the Klingon vessel. After a short fight, the two ships are left disabled and without shields. Back on the planet, Kirk's son attempts to break free from his Clingon Captors but is brutally stabbed to death. With Clingon's now preparing to board their ship, Kirk and the crew beam down onto the planet's surface and a Self-Destruct sequence blows the Enterprise to pieces, killing the Clingons aboard and sending the burning hull crashing down to the planet. Not long after though, the planet begins to become unstable and starts to fall apart. With this now happening, Kirk makes a desperate plea to the Clingon Commander for him to beam down and face Kirk in single combat whilst the other's are beamed aboard his ship. The Commander agrees and the pair do battle above large flowing streams of molten lava. Kirk eventually gets the upper hand and sends the Commander into the burning hell below before being beamed back aboard the Clingon ship. After escaping the destruction of Genisis, the pair return to the Vulcan Homeworld where Spock's father attempts to carry out the ritual which will reunite Spock's body with his mind which is still inside McCoy. The ritual works and Spock is returned to his normal self, ready to rejoin his crew-members...

Like I said, it's an OK film in terms of special effects, an understandable story and OK acting, but apart from that it's nothing special compared to the previous film. Christopher Lloyd plays a rather wooden bad guy whereas Richardo Montalban played the often flamboyant and psychotically menacing Khan. Like the film though, Lloyd's character is rarely remembered amongst most avid Star Trek fans. I'd recommend watching this film just so you can get a better understanding, but it's not one you'd want to see that often, only when you really start to forget the story.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)

Certainly more down to Earth...

[8/10 · 29 August 2012]

Following the mediocre success of Search for Spock, the Star Trek franchise wanted to appeal to a different kind of audience, in a sense, bring it home, and this film pretty much symbolises that by literally bringing it home! It's a really clever and quite quirky story which attempts to bring characters of a different space and time back to the present day, almost like a dream come true for most die hard fans. It also attempts to bring across an environmental message, and they certainly do better than most environmental films as a concept such as this could be quite plausible.

The film begins with a strange probe trundling through space, the probe has no distinguishing features apart from the fact that it makes a strange noise. Starfleet notices it's appearance and find's it's course is set for Earth. We then move to Earth where a trial is being held against Admiral Kirk for his actions in the previous film, including the robbery and destruction of the Enterprise. Kirk and his crew have in fact been in exile on Vulcan whilst Spock finishes the final stages of his training and teaching. With the crew now ready, they use the Clingon vessel from before to return to Earth in order for Kirk to stand trial. However, the probe arrives and settles itself above the Earth. Due to an Electromagnetic field being created by the probe, all electrical power is interrupted and violent storms start to rip the world apart. A distress signal is sent to all ships, including Kirk's, stating that they must stay away from Earth. Spock attempts to decipher what language the probe is speaking in and determines it to be the song of the Hump Back Whale, a species which became extinct at the beginning of the 21st Century. Using a special 'Sling Shot' manoeuvre, the crew fires themselves at Warp Speed round the sun in a certain direction and they travel back in time to the year 1985. They then travel to San Francisco where they believe a pair of Hump Back's have been kept in an Aquarium. After attempting to fit-in with the 1985 style (including the use of money), the group travels to find several vital items:

• Nuclear Coils in order to re-power the ship - A special transparent Aluminium to help contain the Whales and water - A helicopter to carry the Aluminium tank - The Whales themselves!

All of these tasks seem to go to plan apart from 2, the acquisition of the Whales, and the collection of the Nuclear Coils. The Whale's Owner, Dr Gillian Taylor, however is reluctant to do so, and Kirk must use his charm on her in order to acquire the vital pieces of equipment necessary to save Earth's future. Can Gillian be swayed to releasing the Whales? Will the others be successful in finding the missing items? Will the Earth of the future be saved? Only within the movie will you find that answer...

I can understand that this film is an obvious Enivronmental Film, and a majority of these don't work as they continually cram their messages in your face. But this on the other hand is able to mold it into the Star Trek Universe in a sensible and plausible way. There's a lot more humour in this film compared to the previous two and the acting is a bit more flamboyant. But other than that, this film is really an enjoyable laugh that I'd recommend to anyone!

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

And this is where my interest in Star Trek Movies died...

[1/10 · 29 August 2012]

They search for God...

No really, they search for God. They get in the Enterprise, blast off into space with the help of a Vulcan Jesus who can heal people's ills, and find God...

Fantastic, absolutely fantastic, A* Grade for the people who just took any plausibility of this franchise and threw it out the window. This film is silly, it's pointless and makes no logical sense. Unlike Star Trek IV which made it's environmental message quite subtle and again rather plausible, this film tries to roll in religion, which seems quite offencive if you take it too seriously.

Oh, and guess what, they actually kill God! That's right, a Clingon ship fires it's fasers at God, and that kills him!

Wow, there are limits, but this film doesn't seem to have any comprehension of what those limits are! My Lord in Heaven! No wait, he's not in Heaven, he's behind some strange vale of cloud in space that no-one appears to have bothered to fly into because, well... it's a cloud.... in space...

Apart from that, the acting is goofy, it's filled with quite a few ridiculous One-Liner's, the Special effects are nothing to write home about and I think a few of Shatner's fetishes come out with the ever popular 'Three-Breasted Cat Woman'!

If you want your faith in Star Trek to remain intact, avoid this film like the plague viewers!!

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

An interesting Bridge for the Prequel Trilogy

[6/10 · 29 August 2012]

Like Star Wars Episode V, Attack of the Clones doesn't really introduce many pivotal characters that will appear throughout the entire series, it mainly develops the characters that already exist such as Anakin and Obi Wan, Yoda, Mace Windu, Padme Amidala and so forth. This film mainly demonstrates Anakin's path towards darkness and how events in this film drag him closer and closer to the evil that he will become. The acting is certainly upgraded from the previous Star Wars movie, with Anakin being the more emotional and hate filled adult who has many conflicting emotions including the fear of losing his loved ones, his secret love for Padme and the hatred and anger that develops throughout the film, thereby following word for word Yoda's teachings of Episode's I and V. And do I need to mention the fact that there is little to no Jar Jar Binks in this movie?

The film begins on Coruscant, with Senator Amidala's Royal Ship arriving at a Landing Platform, however, the ship is blown up by an unseen assassin. Padme is however disguised as one of the fighter pilots and her bodyguard disguised as her is killed in the blast. After meeting with the Chancellor, it is decreed that Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi and his Apprentice Anakin Skywalker will be assigned as her bodyguards. Almost immediately, a relationship brews between Anakin and Padme, but it is against the teachings of the Jedi for them to be in love as it results in fear for their loss and begins a path to the Dark Side. That evening however, the assassin's try to kill her again, this time with poisonous centipede like creatures. Sensing their presence, the two Jedi quickly dispatch the vicious creatures and after a long Speeder chase through the city, the pair eventually catch up with the would-be assassin, but she is quickly killed by a mysterious figure which jet-packs away before she can give away who hire her. The next day, Obi Wan takes the poisonous dart to a former Prospector and Diner Chef named Dax, who identifies it as a Kamino Sabre Dart. Meanwhile, Anakin and Padme are advised to leave for Naboo disguised as peasants for safety and the pair slowly begin to express their love for one another. Meanwhile, Obi Wan eventually finds the Planet Kamino and find that they are creating a mysterious Clone Army that was apparently ordered by one of the Jedi Master's. The design of the Clone Troopers is based on that of a resident Bounty Hunter named Jango Fett, and his Cloned son Boba Fett. Whilst attempting to capture Jango, a small fist-fight ensues and Jango escapes, but not before Obi Wan can place a tracker on this ship. Meanwhile, Anakin's fear for the loss of his mother escalates to a peak and the pair fly off to Tatooine to find her, where it is revealed that she has been captured by a group of Tuscan Raiders. Disobeying his orders from the Council, Anakin sets out to find her. Meanwhile, Obi Wan follows Jango Fett to the Planet Geonosis, where after a small skirmish in the Asteroid Belt orbiting the planet, he manages to sneak onto the planet surface and begins to investigate the Trade Federation presence on the Planet. Meanwhile, Anakin eventually finds the Tuscan Village and his mother who has been brutally tortured by the savages. After dying in his arms, Anakin gives into his anger and slaughters the lot of them. Meanwhile, Obi Wan discovers that the assassinations were planned by the former Trade Federation Viceroy from the previous episode with the help of Qui Gon's former Master Count Dooku, who is planning to make another Droid Army to conquer the Republic. Whilst relaying his message to the Council, Obi Wan is captured and so Anakin and Padme take it upon themselves to rescue him. Will they be able to save him in time? Who will stop this evil droid army? Only the film holds the key to the truth...

It is an interesting film but certainly one of the weaker ones. Indeed many pivotal characters such as Boba Fett and Count Dooku are introduced, but it is mainly based on the development of the previously introduced characters and thereby bridging the gap between Episode I and Episode III. Again, a really good film for the kids and certainly an enjoyable watch.