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merlin9911
Reviews
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
Abe Lincoln..Ninja
One LOSER movie. I'm no virgin, I have seen lots of book adaptations go bad, but most of them are at least bearable. This is one of only about 3 movies that I have ever walked out on in my 50 years of viewing movies. Part of the fun of the book is how close it came to reality...how far the author went to make it at least plausible, mixing fact and fantasy. I suffered through the first part of the movie and finally had to throw in the towel. What scene got me? The teenage mutant ninja President scene with the ax. Really? Why? There was just no possible good reason for that ninja trash. He was a rail splitter, strong and accurate with an ax. Want to throw the ax...well OK maybe, but that was plain silly. So, take heed..just say no to this one.
Loose Shoes (1978)
Party Film?
I rented the film years ago (Bill Murray...gotta be funny right?) and we put it in the player and waited for the movie to start. After a few of the movie previews we thought, "Any time now...the movie has to start just any minute.." Then we realized that all it was was trailers...and fake ones to boot.
I really hate movies that play on a big name who really is little more than a cameo in the film just to get someone to see it. Like Bruce Willis in Four Rooms or Lugosi in Plan 9; just there for window dressing.
The only thing I can see using this movie for would be background noise at a big party. I can see it playing on a screen, you wander by, watch a scene or two, and wander on. No plot to miss by not sitting and watching it.
Casino Royale (1967)
Can't believe how bad this really was!
I remember watching this as a kid and it was funny, but I can't for the life of me remember why now.
I have seen some stinkers, Plan 9 from Outer Space, Loose Shoes, Bloodsucking Redneck Vampires...and this one is every bit as good.
Yes, it is dated, but the problem is deeper. It really looks like they just chopped up a bunch of scraps of skits and random junk from the bottom of the inspiration pile and called it a movie. And it succeeded mostly by false pretenses. It had enough big marquee names to make people go to the theater thinking they were actually going to see them acting in a movie. Wonder how many of these folks were embarrassed to see their name hooked to this film.
It fails on so many levels, BUT it did take enough people in to pay out well.