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7/10
Enjoyably convoluted
8 January 2009
Warning: Spoilers
English period productions have a reputation for restraint. While it doesn't go as far as the almost-soap-opera The Tudors, restraint is not the watch-word in The Devil's Whore. Instead we have plenty of sex, violence and even a few demonic visions, with some history thrown in.

Concerning the events of the English Civil War, the story is told through the eyes of a fictional young noblewoman, Angelica Fanshawe, played by Andrea Riseborough. Angelica somehow ends up experiencing almost every aspect of the civil war, born into privilege and a prominent place in Charles I's court, only to lose it all when her husband is executed. With her sympathy switched to the Levellers, Angelica becomes some sort of highwayman (sorry, highwaywoman) for a time, before marrying a senior figure of the Levellers, Thomas Rainsborough, (Michael Fassbender), only for her criminal past to catch up with her. When her husband is assassinated, Angelica herself narrowly escapes execution. And that's only the half of it.

If you think this sounds far too convoluted to believe, well, you're right. Angelica's situation is far too convenient, to marry not one but two important figures of the English Civil war, to be on close terms with both the King and Cromwell, to consort with all manner of nobles, cavaliers, roundheads and puritans. It doesn't help that Angelica is firmly in the mold of other 'swashbuckling' heroines of pop culture such as Elizabeth of Pirates of the Caribbean and Arwen of LOTR, who, when not looking utterly ravishing in their gorgeous frocks are brandishing swords and smiting enemies. She also has a few politically correct orations of truth, justice and freedom to deliver. Riseborough delivers a passionate and sympathetic heroine, but at some point, her efforts are not enough to keep an eyebrow from being raised, particularly when Angelica storms into a church and begins pontificating about heaven and hell. Maxine Peake's portrayal of real-life figure Elizabeth Lilburne, wife of agitator John Lilburne, is a much more historically accurate figure: she is a wife utterly devoted to her husband and to his cause, and breaks a few conventions herself.

When we do get round to the factual events they are impressively acted. Dominic West may look nothing like Oliver Cromwell but he makes him into a fascinatingly ambiguous character. In the first few episodes he seems willing to compromise with his fellow men, from Charles to his fellow revolutionaries, but as he gains more power he becomes a more ruthless, shadowy figure. Michael Fassbender and Tim Goodman-Hill are both excellent in their portrayal of men who passionately promote their causes. But who could forget the ever-versatile John Simm as Edward Sexby. Sexby is driven by obsessions, first for blood, which he is soon cured of, then by the cause of the Levellers which is soon corrupted, and finally in his determination to assassinate a tyrant. But his enduring obsession is with Angelica, and their romantic plot-line is probably the best distraction from fact that the drama has to offer. Simm and Riseborough have an excellent chemistry which the writers draw out through the series.

Ultimately, should you wish to know more about the English Civil War you would be better to start with wikipedia than the Devil's Whore. But for those who like their dramas saucy, sordid and striking, The Devil's Whore has much in store.
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Posh Nosh (2003– )
10/10
Sharp, sardonic and side-splittingly funny
16 December 2008
A gleeful satire which takes potshots at celebrity chefs as well as the snobbish upper-class, the only flaw Posh Nosh has is its unfortunately short running time.

Richard E Grant is once again the sneering, superior toff, a role he does exceptionally well, while Arabella Weir's Minty tries to maintain the same nose-in-the-air attitude, ('Lard makes me think of fat people in the co-op - perhaps you're one of them'), but occasionally lets her middle-class roots show.

Highlights include David Tennant's cameos as the object of Simon's not-so-discreet affection, as well as Simon's drunken tirade on the disregard of sauces.
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The Gift (2000)
3/10
A mediocre daytime movie elevated by a (mostly) excellent cast.
15 May 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Billy Bob Thornton won an Oscar for his 'Sling Blade' screenplay. Halle Berry is proof enough that this doesn't make you immune to mediocrity (Gothika) or all-out awfulness (Catwoman), but the lesson to be learned here is that lightning doesn't strike twice.

Though 'The Gift', like 'Sling Blade', follows the Southern Gothic conventions, and explores some pretty dark themes, such as familial abuse and mental illness, the mystery element of the film is so clumsily executed that it undermines the more interesting and effective drama of the piece.

I'm not actually sure if I found it so easy to identify with clairvoyant Annie (Cate Blanchett), because she was a well-written character or because I was also able to make accurate predictions, not only about the correct identity of the killer, but the entire narrative structure of the film within the first five minutes. By the time the principle cast have all been introduced, you will know who will be offed, who will be wrongfully accused of said offing and who actually did the offing. So if you insist on actual 'mystery', steer clear.

That said, the film has redeeming features, mostly to do with the cast. Cate Blanchett is brilliant as always as Annie, imbuing the character with a quiet dignity as she is repeatedly mocked and sneered at for her gift. Matching her is Giovanni Ribisi as her tragically disturbed friend Buddy. The scene in which he avenges himself upon an abuser is truly sickening. Ribisi is an extremely versatile actor and handles the intensity of his character. Rounding out the stand-out performances is an actor not generally known for his versatility or intensity: Keanu Reeves. While he usually appears as a somewhat animated piece of cardboard, as the repulsive wife-beater Donnie, Reeves is on terrifying form. Intimidating not only to the other characters but to the audience, Reeves method seems to be: when he's bad, he's very very good; when he's good he's wooden. Hilary Swank is effectively pathetic as his down-trodden wife, but, this being the deep south, Swank is saddled with a hilariously awful she-mullet wig, so bad that no degree of pathos can transcend the unintentional comedy.

Despite a quartet of excellent performances, it's thanks to Dawson's Creeker Katie Holmes that this film is remembered. Referenced in 'Harold and Kumar', Holmes does indeed bare her chest. Given her overzealous southern accent and rather poor attempt to add depth to the 'village bicycle', Holmes should be thankful that this is the only thing people can remember about her role in this film. Greg Kinnear should also be thankful, as he is incredibly bland in this film, which is strange given that he is usually quite engaging. But this thankless, underwritten role is overshadowed by the other characters.

What makes this film so disappointing is the quality of the actors involved; they all deserve better than this. Particularly Reeves, who wasted a rare, excellent performance on such mediocrity.
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The Crow (1994)
What makes this great
21 October 2006
Had this been done by anyone else, director, cast, crew it would have sucked massively. Period. The lackluster sequels are evidence enough of that fact. On face value, the script is really just another run-of-the-mill revenge story with a supernatural bent. BUT - this would have to be one of the best movies of the 90's. I can say that now even after analyzing the f*** out of it this past year as part of school. Even after watching it a zillion times, it still sends tingles down my spine.

The plot concerns Eric Draven (the late, great Brandon Lee) being raised from the dead by a mythical crow, given supernatural strength and invincibility, and sent on a mission to avenge the rape and murder of his fiancée Shelly (Sofia Shinas) by a gang of thugs. As he picks off the criminals on his hit list, he attracts the attention of the criminal kingpin Top Dollar (Michael Wincott), who becomes determined to kill him.

Like I said, it is the people who cause this film to transcend the ordinary. Much of this is due to Alex Proyas, who uses an effectively stylized setting, clever editing, camera angles, etc. The villains of the piece are also excellent, particularly Wincott and David Patrick Kelly as head thug T-Bird. No Bond-style villainy is present here, these guys are evil, intimidating and cliché-free.

But of course, the person who really transcends the ordinary is Brandon Lee. Lee was one of the few actors who could combine that sort of martial arts talent with acting talent, so evident here. He brings out the violent and sadistic elements of Eric, as well as the painfully human side as well. You can't help but feel sad when you realize that this was his last movie.

A plus to this movie is that it has an awesome soundtrack, with stuff from the Cure, the Violent Femmes and Rage Against the Machine. A particular highlight is a Nine Inch Nails cover of Joy Division's Dead Souls.

All in all, an awesome movie.
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10/10
Possibly the most unusual, and best, comedy ever made
10 December 2005
Here is possibly the most unusual, and in my opinion, the best comedy ever made. "Harold & Maude" begins with a heavy dose of black humor, with the death-obsessed Harold performing 'suicides' as a way of rebelling against his domineering mother. His vehicle of choice is a hearse, and when he's not explaining his pitch-black fantasies to his shrink, he's crashing funerals. The film takes an unexpected turn with the introduction of Maude, a vivacious octogenarian who shares Harold's penchant for attending the funerals of strangers, but instead of being obsessed with death, she is obsessed with life. Her unique outlook and interesting activities, which include grand theft auto, endear her to Harold, and the two kindred spirits form a close relationship, which eventually blossoms into romance.

This may seem quite unbelievable (and frankly, disgusting) for a twenty-something to fall for an eighty-year-old, but through Ashby's beautiful, skilled direction and Bud Cort's and Ruth Gordon's wonderful performances, the love story is entirely convincing and quite beautifully handled.

The humor, is as I said, to begin with, very black, but there are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, particularly with Harold's methods of scaring of dates picked for him by his mother, and the reaction of Harold's family and friends to the news of his infatuation with Maude. Cat Stevens' beautiful soundtrack makes this film even more beautiful. While this may be not for everyone, those who can appreciate it will enjoy it immensely.
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Bad Santa (2003)
9/10
Possibly the best Christmas movie EVER!
22 December 2004
As far as entertainment goes, I dread the Christmas season. It seems like every single producer uses it as an excuse to offload the excess cheese that couldn't fit into a bad romcom starring J.Lo.

Bad Santa, however, throws wholesome schmaltz out the window, and replaces it with swearing, sex, drunkenness and more swearing. In short, totally hilarious.

Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) an alcoholic safe-cracker who works a scam with a midget, Marcus, (Tony Cox) by posing as a department store Santa and elf, then robbing the place on Christmas Eve. Willie is hardly ideal as jolly old Saint Nick, passing out on the job, swearing at young children ("I'M ON MY F***ING LUNCH BREAK!) and wetting himself.

But at a particular store, Willie becomes friendly with a slightly slow kid, and VERY friendly with a barmaid (Lauren Graham) with a Santa fetish.

Anyone who is tired of the sickly sentimentality of Christmas TV should watch this. They will really appreciate it.
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She's all that, 10 things I hate about you, what's the difference? Possible SPOILERS
13 November 2004
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of those classic, unbelievable, clichéd, unfunny teen flicks released in the late 90's. I can't be sure whether this was ripped off the (slightly) superior 'Ten things I hate about you' or the other way around, but they both revolve on the same idea: Rich, popular boy (10 things had a violent loner; how original!) makes a bet with another rich, popular boy to go out with the school nerd (or the female violent loner). Rich popular boy, after getting the nerd a HUGE makeover, (she actually just took off her glasses and changed clothes, but in a movie like this, that's a MAJOR plot development) falls for the nerd. She finds out, but he makes some sort of gesture to show he's changed and they have a magical kiss. Some of the cast, (Kieran Culkin, Anna Paquin, even Rachael Leigh Cook, to a certain extent), are quite talented, which makes you wonder what they're doing there. The rest, (Freddie Prinze Jr., Paul Walker, Jodie Lynn O'Keefe), are perfect for this kind of movie.

If you must see either this or 10 things, I say go with 10 things. That actually has one or 2 laughs in it.
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Appallingly bad romcom
29 October 2004
I had the displeasure if seeing this god-awful movie on a seven hour bus trip. By the end of it, i wanted to rip into my classmates with a machete, just for being the same gender as Lopez. This movie is one of the most clichéd unfunny romcom/chick flicks of all time. I utterly despise J.Lo and this film made me hate her even more. She has no acting talent whatsoever, and why anyone would continue to hire her after trash like this and Gigli is beyond me. Matthew McConaughey is quite talented, but he inexplicably stars in these terrible films, (like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days - another appalling film I was subjected to on that trip). Every single joke is forced and completely unoriginal. The classic romcom types are all present and correct, (the ethnic, overprotective father; the vapid fiancée; the matchmaker best friend; et al) i've never been a fan of romcoms, particularly those that involve weddings, but there are millions that would have to be more watchable than this. I recommend Four Weddings and a Funeral or the Wedding Singer. But I would never recommend this to anyone.
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Don't bother
28 October 2004
To be honest, I found this movie so boring and uninteresting, that for me, the most exciting part of the screening was when one of my friends' drink bottle started spraying coke everywhere. The special effects are lame, the storyline is pathetic and the acting is completely flat, (apart from that guy with the bad hat). For a film about zombies it sure doesn't pay much attention to them, instead focusing on some of the most fake looking monsters I have ever seen. The big baddie, known as Nemesis, looked so much like Sloth from the 'Goonies' I couldn't help going into hysterics every time he appeared on screen.

The script is a complete mess. You wouldn't believe the number of plot holes they left. Milla Jojovich sure does look the part as your standard kick-ass heroine, but she doesn't hold a candle to Sigourney Weaver or Carrie-Anne Moss. I wasted almost 2 hours in that movie theatre watching that crap. I want them back! If you want a good zombie movie, try Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead or even Shaun of the dead if you're up for a laugh. Don't bother with Resident Evil: Apocalypse. It's not even worth the VIDEO rental price, let alone cinema admission.
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Troy (2004)
Could have been better
16 October 2004
The Iliad is a fantastic story, but unfortunately, has never been translated well onto screen. Peterson's epic is an okay film in itself, but would have worked so much better if it had stuck to the source material. Writer David Benioff wisely did away with the gods interference, but this isn't enough to make up for the major changes.

There is also a problem with the casting. There are plenty of other actresses just as or more beautiful than Diane Kruger who could be a far more convincing Helen. Brad Pitt was good with Achilles' arrogance but nothing else. Orlando Bloom's good looks can't disguise the fact that he isn't very talented. And Garret Hedlund was so irritating as Patroclus I couldn't wait to see him get killed.

On the whole, it does seem a very pretentious, gratuitous movie, but there were some parts i really enjoyed and, unlike a lot of movies I've seen this year, it was worth the admission price. Just
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