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Reviews
Bodies (2023)
Time loop stories, with the time loop starting the future... again
I actually liked the show, but it's such bad writing, when you write a time loop, where the loop starts in the future, and is dependent on the past.
Doubly bad in this case where Mannix is his own ancestor, making it so this loop could never occur. It's fun for shows such as Futurama, but for a series that tries to be serious, why? It wasn't even an important plot point, so why?
I have a ton of minor gripes too:
What happened to Iris in the past, did she just die as a cripple in London.
Did a copy of them all also go an equal amount into the future?
How did Charles/Karl know to write on the brick, when Mannix never mentioned time travel to him? Or hide the record?
Why kill Esther? It made no sense, especially in the last loop.
Why was Iris in the present at the ending?
Why did Shahara pop back to that particular day?
Really a lot of my gripes could have been solved with minor tweaks, and just shows writers often stink at sticking the landing when time travel is involved.
Though overall I did enjoy it, and I'd recommend others watch it, but they should know the story falls apart at the end logically, and it's kinda a sham since it really was nicely done overall.
Before I Fall (2017)
The stupidest time loop movie I've watched
This movie should be a heartfelt celebration of life, instead it's a braindead teen girl living 6 repetitions of the same day.
She goes through the normal day 1, repeat on day 2 to realize it's the same, day 3 she tries to prevent it by not dying in a car crash, day 4 she has the lamest mean girl day, which she can't even follow through on, day 5 she is trying to be kind to all, and discover the girl she knew on day 3 killed herself by running in front of the car our main character died in on day 1 and 2. Day 6 she is kind again, and saves the suicide victim by pushing her out of the way of a truck.
Did she solve anything on day 6? Well the victim didn't die, but she just made the unpopular suicide victims life 1000% worse by being the cause of her death, she traumatised her romantic interest, friends and family by dying. Could she have done something different than waiting till the last possible second to save the suicide victim? Most likely, instead of waiting to the last second, she could have talked to her at school or really before the party, anything other than pushing her out of the way of the truck.
This movie was bland, the person bullying the suicide victim, and the cause of the rumour that started it all up would learn nothing, no one got it better by her doing this, I cannot stress enough how bad this is. The only one who learned anything was our main character, and she apparently learned she should commit suicide, because it's not a rescue, when you have endless attempts at solving it in a better way.
Cranston Academy: Monster Zone (2020)
What absolute and utter garbage
The positive:
They managed to make me chuckle a couple times, specifically two times, and I think it was mostly from desperation more than anything.
The cons:
Everything else, they have so many bad tropes they just keep throwing at the wall, over and over, disjointed scenes, non-sensical plot, and really just sorta racist against Mexicans, which is odd as it is Mexican.
There are scenes that literally doesn't fit in, where they make really bad skits. Everyone in the movie is unlikeable and no character development at all.
I don't get how this came out of pre-production, or even made it out of Mexico, it's just really really bad.
Luca (2021)
Luca is near perfect
Luca is a very simple movie, the story isn't about anything big, two boys and their transformation from children to young adults.
But they hit it so well, beautiful Italian town life, the importance placed on simple things like a bike race, and acceptance of differences.
At it's core it really is about acceptance, and I can't really see how to do it better and serve it to children, while also making it so adults will enjoy themselves.
See Luca, and enjoy a trip to the Italian seaside.
Father Christmas Is Back (2021)
Terrible editing, terrible music, terrible script, and waste of talent
A Christmas movie clearly filmed during an English summer, with at most a lackluster script, edited by what I must assume is an editor who is learning how to use movie editor on a phone. And on top of that they found someone who learned movie music from the silent film periode.
The plot makes no sense, there is no feeling to it, and all attempts at comedy falls flat, somehow they've mismanaged the talent of so many talented people and gotten this hot pile of garbage made instead.
The children have a nativity play, I would rather watch that full length than this movie again.
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Suprisingly decent
So is this a cash grab exploiting our childhoods? Yeah, it is, but they actually made a decent game to movie.
This is an action family movie, which theme is friendship, is it really about Sonic, and more about the Sheriff? Maybe, I will say when it was done, I had some heartfelt moments, nostalgia, fun, and all in all it was just well done.
Zingers, stupid jokes, and feel goodness. I was entertained.
So 8 stars for listening to people when they said the first design was horrendous, making an actual decent game movie, and treating my childhood with respect.
Please continue this trend.
The Sand Dune (2018)
This is a horrendous movie
This movie is like a film school project the lead roles parents have paid for.
All the 10 reviews only have reviewed this horror.
Please only watch with friends, so you can make fun of this trope.
After Darkness (2014)
I'm 14 and this is deep....
So this earns 2 stars, purely from production value. This has a very high production value, but besides that it's pure garage
So many questions, who decided to have suspense music all the way through, only gone while there was high volume opera, or piano playing.
Why make all the characters unlikeable, well the teenager doesn't really do anything but whine, and be naive. So she's not directly unlikeable.
You feel literally nothing for them, so they are waiting to be rescued from the literal apocalypse, the suns gone out, jesus people even rescue would be a short-lived reprise.
Near the end some looters come, but this is after they are going to commit suicide, and again, basically no drama eventhough one of the looters are killed.
There is basically any real dialog in the entire movie, and the emotions in the acting is repulsive.
Dinosaur Island (2014)
Doesn't deserve 10
But I have to give it 10, since it doesn't deserve 3.5 either.
This is not an all bad movie, thought it would be god awful #%%^, but the production value is quite high, and though the story isn't anything special. It's quite entertaining.
Plus they have actually tried to make the dinosaurs as we think they look like now.
Would probably rate it as 5 or 6, a good hangover movie.
And yes it looks like the production company has tried to fiddle wit the score, but the horrible reviews, what do you expect from a children/sci-fi/family movie?
At least there are no talking dogs.