charlesfcope Reviews

Thirteen (2016)

Three for Jodie Cromer, zero for the rest.

[3/10 · 14 May 2024]

I have great sympathy for the lower star reviews here. The plot was so full of holes it would have sunk in a few seconds, the script was mostly sub second order soap standard, and the "special effects" were laughable.

I have worked with the police on cases like this, and believe me, they don't behave like this.

The script was so cliche ridden. They even had the slightly thick black manager that the much more intelligent staff have to put up with. A well lnown meme in American and Scandinavian police procedurals. I'm not black, but I'm surprised nobody has complained about this.

Oh, and as another reviewer has pointed out (rather better than I can) the awful exptended chords musical accompaniment. It's meant to add a sense of unease, but all it does is make you want to throw the TV and soundbar out of the window. This type of theme music was all over the Scandi crime series we all watched during lockdown, when we we too drunk/depressed/starved of decent drama to protest. You'll know the type of music I'm referring to - extended random sevenths and ninths, landing on a note that suggests expectation. Swedish noir is full of it. It's meant to be clever and a bit more upmarket from proper theme music. It's actually b****cks.

Maryland (2023)

Supposed to be the Isle of Man, but even that was a fake

[2/10 · 25 June 2023]

This mini series is supposed to be based in the Isle of Man. You can tell that because there's a Manx cat in several of the scenes. Mind you, the cat was the only truly convincing actor is this awful rubbish. Suranne Jones looks and acts much as she did in Coronation Street, where she could just about get away with it against the woodentop acting of other members of that cast.

I am totally gobsmacked that this got such good reviews in most of the UK papers. There must have been some good drinks in it for the reviewers. I watched the whole series to its inconclusive and pathetic ending, mainly because my partner wanted to see it. One more thing - I nearly choked on my wine at the playful corridor climbing antics of the two sisters, supposedly evoking childhood memories. Both sisters are far too old for this sort of business, even as their characters in the story. Suranne Jones scrubs up well, but can't carry off such juvenile antics, and the other sister looks about ready for her bus pass.

I would really try to avoid wasting your time on this one.

Late Night Lycett (2023– )

Painfully unfunny

[1/10 · 23 April 2023]

I think the show was trying to recreate TFI Friday with Chris Evans. Well, it hasn't. They threw the whole LGBTQ++ celebrities at it. That just made it seem even more desperate. Joe Lycett is capable of better, which is why the whole sorry mess should be pulled, before his reputaion is indelibly tarnished. Even rent-a-posh tottie Joanna Lumley couldn't rescue this rubbish. Alan Carr being a screaming queen yet again just made it worse.

The fact that the programme comes live from Birmingham is an insult to the basically decent folk of that city. They gave us Crossroads, live from Pebble Mill etc. Come to think of it, the city doesn't exactly have a good track record of quality TV, does it?

Downhill (I) (2020)

Not one character is remotely likeable.

[2/10 · 15 June 2022]

Unlike most of the reviewers, I'm no big fan of the original movie. Very over-rated Swedish drama. Howver, this film takes many of the bad bits of the original, and ends up worse. I felt sorry for the Will Ferrell character, as I too would have chosen to rescue my phone and myself over my family, if they were as nauseating as that bunch. However, the whole thing is overblown. They knew there were controlled avalanches going on so it wasn't a big surprise when a bit of snow blew over the balcony/terrace. In the original it is spelled out a little bit more as there are notices everywhere and announcements. This version left it to be a little bit more of a surprise, but not by much. Austrian location, controlled explosions to set off controlled avalanches, bloke wants to save his phone from getting wet, so rushes off leaving idiot wet nelly family to get faces full of snow. Big deal, I've had to put up with worse than that on day trips to Buxton. Believe me, I've been in snowstorms and unless you have your phone in a waterpoof case, it's done for. Save the phone, leave the family to get soaked every time!

Really don't waste your time with this film or the one it is based on.

Two stars for the scenery and film production - better than the original whatever other reviewers here say.

47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)

I was cheering for the sharks all the way through

[1/10 · 8 May 2022]

This has to be one of the worst movies of all time. I have read that at performances of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies the audience would cheer each time Freddie got one of his victims. The explanation given was that American movie teenagers were always so much more entitled and comfortably off than the real young people in the audience. Movie teenagers always have cars, live in nice areas, have large bedrooms with top of the range AV and computer equipment etc.

Well this shark movie doesn't have the advantage of Nightmare on Elm Street, ie a good plot, genuine thrills, and dark comedy. The four teenagers in this movie all deserved to die, as did the insufferably smug archaeologist Dad.

I was disappointed that two of the teenagers survived, and the least sympathetic of the four at that. Try to avoid this film, unless you are a film studies student looking for an example of how not to make a film.

Priest of Love (1981)

Worthy but dull biopic

[5/10 · 5 April 2022]

First things first: I lived and worked in Eastwood, (D H Lawrence's home town) for ten years. I still pass through the area regularly as my wife's family live there. I always found it interesting that D H Lawrences best work is located in that mining (now ex-mining of course) area between Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire. This film concentrates on D H Lawrence's life after he left the area.

The film is just a bog standard biopic done from the write by numbers playbook. It hardly ever come close to the real D H Lawrence. The facts and events are there, all the wandering around the world etc, but you only have to read Lawrence's collected letters to know that the picture given here is rather superficial It isn't helped by some amateur dramatics style acting, particularly from a way below par Ian McKellen and Janet Suzman. A pet hate of mine is the lazy generic Northern accent adopted by most actors doing D H Lawrence. Ian McKellen made him sound as though he was brought up in Yorkshire rather than Notts. Admittedly the Nottingham/Derbyshire accent is hard to do. Robert Lindsey does it well, but then he comes from Ilkeston.

The other thing missing in this film is a sense of D H Lawrence's wit and humour, which can be seen very well in his letters, short stories and some of his poems. I also didn't like the way the script writer (Alan Plater in his soap writing mood) somewhat lazily bought into the feminist critique of the 1980s. D H Lawrence, who wrote very sensitively on women's issues, is made to seem as though he was a male chauvinist. Again, a more careful reading of his works would have shown this to be untrue.

So, overall, a pleasant enough journey round the world with some nice scenery and some good support actors. As another reviewer has pointed out, a bit like a dramatisation of an encyclopedia entry.

The Bookshop (2017)

Excellent direction and screenplay by one of Spain's (Catalonia's) best directors

[10/10 · 4 April 2022]

The evening before I had just watched a biopic of D H Lawrence, which was tedious and riddled with cliches, so was in no mood for another look at the past. Some of us are old enough to remember the time, or at least have heard our parents talk about that period. However, this film is a little masterpiece. The interplay of the characters is very well portrayed. The director, who is Catalan, although seemingly happy to speak in Spanish so probably not very independista, does a brilliant job. She won prizes for both screenplay and direction, but since she also controls the camera, she should have won a prize for that too. The whole film was a subtle analysis of power struggles in a small town (actually they used a town in Norther Ireland for the setting, and some scenes were shot in Barcelona).

The fact that this film scores relativcely poorly on IMDB is a disgrace but tells you the sort of people who are contributing to IMDB these days. I have seen some real rubbish shaky CGI effects type movies given fanatastic reviews on here, and you wonder how this is possible when they are so awful. Well, if you like a subtle character driven film with great direction, this is one for you.

My only niggle is that some of the clothes are not quite right for the period, and how every period car looks as though it has been lovingly restored to better than it was when it was new (which it has, of course). They didn't look so pristine in the 1950s. I know because I was there, working in a garage at the time cleaning them. It's why in Godfather the director used stock footage of New York taxis. Not only was it cheaper, but using vehicles which had been so obviously restored would have destroyed the atmosphere. That niggle aside, a very well observed film by one of Spain's greatest directors.

Mickey and the Bear (2019)

Depressing but realistic, well acted drama about caring for a self destructive addict

[8/10 · 8 September 2021]

Some strange reviews here. Either overly positive or unfairly negative.

I thought the film told the tale of a coming of age girl trying to wrestle with dealing with a self destructive addict of a father rather well. It showed the relationship between the two as being sometimes positive, sometimes hopeless. Even the character of the psychiatrist is straight from reality. Should she give the user a script for heroin substitute for the sake of the daughter, and run the risk of breaking the law or at least being censured by the professional body, or just follow the rules? As it happens, she breaks all sorts of rules but in the end tries to help the daughter, believing she is worth saving and the father is a lost cause.

Nice to think the USA (and the UK, where I'm from) value the vetwrans so much (sarcasm alert). My cousin, now retired, worked as a federal psychiatric social worker in Oregon before she reitired and these issues outlined in the film are totally real, from what she says. Most of these cases, sadly, are lost causes in the sense that they never truly recover. They drift away from hard core addiction into alcohol and other forms of addiction, then burn out completely. The film shows that for the daughter to have a life, she has to break the bond or she will end up going the same way as her father.

I ought to add that this film's depction of small town America will not help the tourism industry, but it is accurate from my own experience as an Englishman visiting relatives in that very same America. I should add that there is another side to small town America - the people are friendly and would do anything to help you out. It's just that you are not going to be shown a Waltons style world in a film about the dilemma of a girl caring for an addict father. Maybe someone should make a film that combines both worlds. Be equally rejected by the indpendent film awards and Hollywood/

All in all a worthy film, well acted and directed, and not over the top about its subject. Just don't watch it if you are feeling torn between helping an addict who you're close to and running away from the whole miserable situation. Although you could argue that your feelings about the ending will help make up your mind..

(D)evil's Throat: Djavolskoto Garlo (2019– )

Bulgaria does Scandi style police series with great panache

[8/10 · 22 August 2021]

This was a very entertaining watch. I did it over three nights so that shows you how it held my attention. I have friends in Bulgaria, and I have visted them several times over the last few years. The part of Bulgaria where the series is filmed is not all that typical, being a relatively rich tourist area. However, the series delivers some good plot twists and more or less believable characters. I could see how the series would end but there were enough twists to keep you guessing. It was obviously trying to capitalize on the success of Scandi crime series, but I would say that the whole thing was less brooding and more melodramatic. What you'd expect from a country like Bulgaria, where it's not hard to meet older people in the villages who wish they could return to Communist days, and which is run by Boyko Borisov, a leftover from the Communist era and who runs his own security company (if you know what I mean - look him up).

Lady Bird (2017)

So schmaltzy it makes "The Waltons" look like hard hitting drama

[2/10 · 26 August 2020]

This meandering mess of a feelgood coming of age movie is a waste of good acting talent and decent cinematography. The girl is from the "wrong side of the tracks". Upper middle class professional parents, nice house, private school, private psychotherapy to deal with your non-existent problems. Wished I lived on those side of the tracks. I feel sorry for American teenagers having to put up with films like this. Those teenagers like my relatives, living in normal houses with parents with normal jobs. 60% of Americans earn less than $40k before stoppages, and could never afford the lifestyle of this spoilt brat. I read somewhere that teenage audiences cheered every time Freddy Krueger finished off one of the spoilt teenagers in "Nightmare on Elm Street", as the audience couldn't identify with teenagers with their own cars, going to decent schools, supported through college etc. I was praying for a Freddy to put paid to "Lady Bird". That would have livened up this nauseating pile of sentimental garbage. How did it get such a good rating here?

Bridget Jones's Baby (2016)

Atrocious

[1/10 · 26 August 2020]

I wasn't expecting much, as I wasn't a fan of even the first film. None of this film is remotely believeable, and is an insult to the intelligence. Hard to know whwere to start, but the eponymous heroine is the best place I suppose. Every now and then the plastic surgery and make up cracks and you see how old Bridget Jones looks. She's supposed to be 43, yet she gets pregnant after just two sexual encounters with different men. In reality she looks about 55 - if anything the plastic surgery has aged her, as well as making her look like an alien. There is zero chance that either of her desperate suitors would go for her, especially given her loose morals, foul language, tired old jokes, and pathetic hangers on. Even Paul McCartney would have drawn the line at this one, and there aren't too many rich men quite as stupid as Paul. Even Paul isn't that stupid these days. Give this one a miss. Tedious retread of a worn out series. Embarrassing. I can see why Hugh Grant gave it a miss. Very wise, I wished I'd followed his example.

Walking Out (2017)

Bears can climb trees and it's not macho to leave all navigational aid behind, it's stupid

[3/10 · 21 July 2020]

The good things: acting ok, scenery nice, photography and cinematography good. The bad things: totally unrealistic and stereotypical. Father son bonding - boring and ham-fisted. I wouldn't trust the so-called gun expert, the Dad, with a pea shooter, let alone a proper gun. And he's supposed to be instructing the kid. We get that the Dad doesn't want the son on his phone all the time, but ever heard of standalone GPS? I know people who are hostile to mobile phones, and it has to be said, they aren't foolproof. I got caught once on a mountain in heavy snow. I tried to use the phone but it died due to being soaked by wet snow. Luckily, my technophobe brother had maps and a compass, so we got down ok. My point is that if you are trying to pass on survival skills, being able to use a map and compass is one of the most important. Then let's examine why, a bear having bitten your hand, your Dad would think it's a good idea for you to climb a tree to get away from a bear. Oh, and climb up the tree holding a gun with the safety catch off so that you shoot your Dad when the gun falls to the ground. Bears, it is well known, can't climb trees except in zoos. mind you, this was a strange bear anyway as it had had cubs in the middle of winter when it should have been hibernating. Global warming I suppose. The rest of it pretty much got on my nerves too. Survival film by numbers. Final point - what's with the pseudo arty sound track? I love the Purcell, but it can only have been added to this tosh for spurious artistic credibility. Out of copyright too. At least you know what's going to happen, with "When I am laid in earth" being played all the way through the film. Talk about laying it on with a trowel. Give this one a miss, unless you want to use it as an instructional video as to how not to behave when trekking in mountain areas.

Snowpiercer (2013)

Surpriisingly enjoyable

[7/10 · 31 January 2020]

The many negative reviews on here bang on about plot illogicalities, over the top acting, and just general daftness. Those criticisms are valid. However, they don't convey that the film is full of sheer daftness done at full pace. Great photography, completely barmy action scenes, and a general feeling that the writers and director must have been on drugs when they made the film, combine to make this effort enjoyable. You just have to approach the film in the way you would to any comic book style film. If you are looking for logic and verisimilitude, forget it. Yes, the train is a metaphor for life, but if you are looking for a deep meaning and social satire, you will be disappointed, as it makes no sense at all. Just enjoy the ride.

Gone Girl (2014)

IMDB need to sort out these ridiculous repetitive trollish one star reviews

[8/10 · 10 January 2019]

This is an excellent fast paced thriller, with good acting, and it makes a good point about trial by TV. Not the absolute best, but still pretty good. What is more concerning is that IMDB has allowed a series of negative reviews, presumably posted by the usual Ben Affleck trolls, which as we all know is an internet meme. If this carries on I will ignore IMDB reviews. They've even occasionally posted negative reviews under a ten star rating. Get it sorted IMDB. Many of the one star reviews are identical.

Saturday Night and Sunday Morning (1960)

Still works today - some things haven't changed

[10/10 · 5 February 2017]

I saw this film when it came out, although I was under-age. The local flea-pit in Manchester wasn't too bothered about such things. It made an impression then, as my own life growing up in a big council estate was not that different. When I later went to live in Nottingham I realised even more how accurate to local Nottingham working class life the film was.

Some of the other reviewers here have referred to the film as "Northern". No-one would expect detailed understanding of subtle regional differences from people outside the UK, or even outside the North and Midlands of England, but the East Midlands has a distinct character from the rest of the UK. It is not "Northern". The East Midlands has a different accent, and a different attitude to life - Nottingham is a very very working class town. It is indeed close to the Manchester culture - bossy, free thinking women, a culture of drinking to excess at the weekend etc, yet the humour is drier and sharper.

I see this film whenever it comes on TV, which is rarely these days. It's one of my favourites of all time. The only thing wrong with it is Albert Finney's accent. People say nobody can do the Nottingham accent, but Albert Finney has no excuse for doing a Salford accent throughout - he went to drama college in Nottingham, although he's from Salford originally. He does all right with other accents, so why not have a go at the accent of a town he knows well. (Americans please correct me if I'm wrong).

The modern equivalent would be any Shane Meadows film. He is heavily influenced by this film, and all to the good.

On a personal note, as all the youngsters bemoan Brexit, this film is set in a world before the EU. Full employment and loads of money. I too worked in the Raleigh factory for a while at that time. My job was temporary (as a student) but the people there were a great laugh, and just as portrayed in the film. In real terms I earned a fortune. I should have saved it instead of spending it on having a good time, but I suppose that's why I know how accurate the film is to the period. I didn't get my friend's wife up the duff though - we had the Marie Stopes clinics even in those days.

Outside the Box (I) (2015)

Enjoyable black comedy about a corporate management training event

[8/10 · 1 October 2016]

This theme has been tackled many times, but this film does the hatchet job on these ridiculous management training events rather well. We all know the sort of thing, and I've had to endure them myself. I still hold a grudge against the idiots who think that being able to climb a rope ladder or fire a paintball gun means you are a good manager. If the busted banks had spent more time checking figures instead of sending their managers on corporate training events like these, then we might all be a bit richer (what am I saying...the bankers are rich anyway, despite their catastrophic failures). Interesting that although the film is in German, all the clichés about management are in English. Altogether an entertaining farce with a message few, other than the frauds who run these sorts of events, would disagree with.

Quo vado? (2016)

An entertaining romp through European and world stereotypes

[9/10 · 17 September 2016]

The negative reviewers are taking this a whole lot too seriously. I watched this on the plane a few days ago and it made me laugh out loud - not easy in those circumstances. It's not subtle, nor full of elegant wit, but it is funny. It's not exactly Fellini (who, strangely, made a similar film with Marcello Mastroianni, if I remember correctly). Anyone who's spent time in these countries, and I have, knows there's a grain of truth in these stereotypes. Italians are impatient drivers, Norwegians do like to bathe naked in the snow. Etc. As for the Mafia...that no longer exists, so we are told. Except that trials of so called gangsters have been going on for years now, but witnesses keep disappearing (check the news on google). So that particular stereotype might just be accurate. I have an Italian friend who took me to visit his relatives near Naples. One of the relatives was a civil engineer who had built a road that bypassed a particular village. That road was used exclusively for his friends and relatives for some years before it became a public highway. That is true from my own experience, so all the reviewers on here who say the stereotypes are just that...well, no. Anyway, if you are too earnest to enjoy this film, stick to something more philosophically challenging.