TheCapelessCrusader Reviews

Chronos (1985)

An Amazing Visual Experience, though you may want to slow down your brain before watching it

[9/10 · 13 February 2014]

Chronos is an interesting movie, it doesn't have any conventional storyline, and no dialogue, it's just really gorgeous imagery and music, which surprisingly was a one long continuous track composed by Michael Stearns which ran throughout the entire movie. I really like how this film was shot, it's mostly Time-Lapse cinematography, which is just footage that is recorded for multiple hours at a time and then sped up to make it look ultra-cool, and the cinematography is just flat-out amazing, and with the locations that they capture, that makes it even better.

As I said in the summary of this review, you might want to slow your brain down before watching this movie, this isn't your typical documentary, like I've stated earlier, there's no dialogue in this film, which might make it a bit boring, I'd actually recommend listening to the commentary on the DVD and Blu-ray releases for this movie so you won't be bored to death, but nevertheless, this is an amazing visual experience, and the only reason I'm giving this a 9 is because it is a bit boring at times, and it's only 42 minutes long, other than that, I'd highly recommend "Chronos".

The Strangers (2008)

Don't let this terrifying and underrated movie be a stranger to you

[8/10 · 29 October 2013]

Okay, yeah, bad pun, I know.

After leaving a wedding reception, Kristen McKay (Liv Tyler) and James Hoyt (Scott Speedman) go to the Hoyt family's summer home where they are terrorized by three masked murderers, but I do take the murderer part very lightly, if you see the film for yourself to find out why I say that. I watched this movie a couple nights ago as I was doing a 'Seven Days to Halloween Movie Marathon', where everyday from the 24th of October to Halloween I would watch a horror movie, or at least a movie that was on Netflix's Halloween Favorites section, and I finished watching it with one thought, 'That was a really scary, intense movie', and you know what? It really was good.

This movie had some really great scares and intense moments to it, and some of the creepiest moments were when you see the man with the bag over his head in the background in a few scenes, and also when Liv Tyler's character was looking out the window and the same man appears out of nowhere, and also those moments where you see one of the "Strangers" and in the next shot they disappear, those scenes were creepy.

One thing I love about this movie is actually the fact that there was almost no blood in the movie at all, with a couple exceptions, not to spoil anything, but I loved that about this movie, I mean yes, there was some blood seen in the movie, but it mainly focused on scares rather than blood.

I'm not really going to talk about the movie that much more, but all I'll say is that it's a highly underrated horror movie with some great scares and intense moments, it's definitely one that I'll come back to time and time again, I'm going to give it a 4/5. If you guys liked this review, then check out my other reviews and check this film out.

Gravity (2013)

This is the most tense I've been in a theatre ever

[10/10 · 7 October 2013]

*This review may contain minor spoilers! You've been warned* Gravity tells the story of two astronauts who end up adrift in space after a huge chunk of debris hits their ship and have to try getting back to Earth. The first thing I want to say about this movie is that it's intense, OK? Like the title suggests, this was the most tense I've been in a theatre in my life, so if you like movies that are really intense, this movie is definitely for you, if not, I'd skip it. Don't worry, that's not the end of the review.

Sandra Bullock in this movie was absolutely terrific in her role, although you could tell she was in the most intense situations in this movie out of her and George Clooney's character, who also did a great job, although I thought he didn't have as much screen-time as he should have in this movie. Speaking of which, the scene in the movie where he's being pulled adrift from Sandra Bullock, that would never happen in a real life scenario, they're in free-fall for crying out loud, she would have been able to pull him back! Come on! Another very big gripe I have with this film is the ending, not that I hated it, but it was honestly fairly predictable, I'm not going to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but all I'm gonna say is it's either one thing or another. Also, this is a bit of a spoiler review, so if you're reading this you already know George Clooney is drifting in space for almost the entire second half... oops.

Anyways, back to the positive things about the movie. The thing that impressed me the most was that there weren't very many cuts in the movie at all, many of the shots in the film, especially in the beginning were long takes, but one thing I will say is for the long takes and someone screwed up on their lines, man it must have sucked re-doing that. Another thing that I liked is that in some points of the movie, the music gets so loud, and cut to the next shot where it's really quiet, some people might not have been huge fans of that, but I really liked that about the movie. There was also no sound effects where there shouldn't be which I really appreciated, even if there was sound effects in the trailers to make it seem more exciting.

This is also undoubtedly one of the most visually stunning movies I've ever seen, it's up there with 'Avatar', the J.J. Abrams 'Star Trek' movies, and 'Inception', and also other movies that I can't think of off the top of my head. I've made it up in my mind that this will win best visual effects at the Academy Awards, I don't care what everyone else says, it will win! If it doesn't, that's perfectly OK with me, as long as it's nominated, I'm happy.

You know that moment when you can feel/hear your heart beating? Gravity has a lot of those moments, that proves how intense this movie really is, and I feel like the 3D made the movie very worth watching, as it's some of the best 3D I've seen all year, especially when you had debris flying towards the screen, it just looked great and didn't seem like a gimmick in this movie, because they made it work, and I know director Alfonso Cuaron said that most 3D movies are crap, but I feel like this is one of the biggest exceptions. This movie's also intense because this situation could actually happen, it also makes you not want to be an astronaut because of that.

Overall, Gravity is most likely in my top 3 movies of 2013, it's up there with Man of Steel, Star Trek Into Darkness, Iron Man 3, and Pacific Rim, I'm going to give it a 10/10, I didn't really find any negatives except for the predictable ending and the fact they defied physics, but other than that, I think Gravity is a must-see film, especially in theatres, and in 3D. I hope you liked this review, and I hope this entices you to see the film yourself, keep mining guys.

Hot Fuzz (2007)

Does for action films what Cabin in the Woods did for horror films

[10/10 · 5 October 2013]

What happens when London's most dedicated cop is sent to a crime-free town, and is partnered up with the chief's witless son? Well... you get "Hot Fuzz". Now I want to point out that this is my first review, so please go easy on me, 'cause I'm not a professional film reviewer. Nicholas Angel is London's top police officer, but his jealous colleagues decide he's too good, so they conspire to transfer him to the quiet village of Sandford, where he is then partnered up with the chief's son, Danny Butterman. Angel is unable to switch off, while Butterman has seen one too many cop movies. When two members of the Sandford Dramatic Society are found decapitated on the outskirts of Sandford, everyone thinks that it was an accident, but Angel suspects that it was murder as more people end up dead.

Now, I must confess that I'm not a huge fan of comedies, mainly because I just don't have a very good sense of humour, the only comedies I really love are "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World", which was from the same director (Edgar Wright), but when I saw this movie I knew I was in for a good time, and although I don't remember laughing that much when I first saw it, I did laugh quite a bit after watching it multiple times, as some of the scenes were very funny.

But "Hot Fuzz" is also an action film, and does it succeed as an action- comedy? Yes, it does, as this movie pokes fun at every action cliché there ever was, I'm not going to list them off because that would take frigging forever, all I'm going to say is while Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg were writing the script, they read a book by film critic Roger Ebert (R.I.P.) that included every action movie clichés so they could use all of them, which leads me to think if that's what the screenwriters of "Cabin in the Woods" did, because as the title suggests, this movie does for action films what that did for horror, despite the fact that this and "Cabin in the Woods" were filmed three years apart.

Simon Pegg I thought was fantastic in his role, he really developed as time went on, he really got used to his partner, he was just awesome, Nick Frost was also very funny in the movie, and you could tell that he's seen one too many action movies (as I said earlier), and some of his lines were some of the funniest in the film. Among the very funny cast is Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton, Paddy Considine, Rafe Spall, as well as cameos by Martin Freeman, Bill Nighy, Steve Coogan and Cate Blanchett in an excellent uncredited cameo as Angel's ex. Overall, everyone's performances were all excellent.

Now among the films that this film references and spoofs are 'Point Break', 'Bad Boys II', 'Chinatown', 'A Fistful of Dollars', 'The Shining', 'Trainspotting', as well as some movies you'd know would reference/spoof and others you'd never expect.

Overall, Hot Fuzz is one of my favourite, if not my absolute favourite, comedies, I'm going to give it a 10/10 on my Miner-Meter. Thank you guys so much for reading and I hope this entices you to see the movie, expect more reviews in the future