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kloloz
Reviews
Stoker (2013)
Psychological thriller
I use the word thriller quite generously, you would struggle to pay attention and stay awake as this may win the award for the slowest start to a movie ever. Boring doesn't do justice to what you feel. It's so bad, you're convinced it has to get better. It does get better to some extent, in the sense that at least some things happen, as opposed to literally nothing. The only thing I liked about that movie is the dialogue "sometimes you need to do something bad to stop you from doing something worse". I never understood people who hunt animals and after watching this movie at least I have some sense of why they may, at least some of them. The only other part of the movie that was okay was this dialogue "You know, I've often wondered why it is we have children in the first place. And the conclusion I've come to is... At some point in our lives we realize things are screwed up beyond repair. So we decide to start again. Wipe the slate clean. Start fresh. And then we have children. Little carbon copies we can turn to and say, You will do what I could not. You will succeed where I have failed. Because we want someone to get it right this time. But not me... Personally speaking I can't wait to watch life tear you apart."
Time Bandits (1981)
The only thing I liked
The only thing I liked about this movie is if you think of a grown man who lost their parents as a 7-8 year old and all they remember and had are some photographs from that time, photographs of ancient times, and the child at the time created a narrative of an elaborate dream around it. They were woken up from a fantastical dream as their house was on fire and their parents did not survive the fire and all the child was left with was the fantastical dream and the photos, everything else was destroyed in the fire, and he lost everyone and everything else. So he created a story to cope with it and that's what this movie is. That's the only way I could find to give it 3 stars, otherwise it's hard to watch as an adult and I did it because of a promise but maybe a child could enjoy it, not many grown ups could.
Secondhand Lions (2003)
Wait till the end
I watched this not knowing what it was about or anything about the director or writers, no pre existing notion to keep me hanging in there at the start of the story which didn't appeal to me as much, probably because I wasn't too keen on watching that kind of a movie. However I persisted partly because the movie kept me hooked just enough and partly because I had made a deal to go through my friends and family's recommendations on my IMDB. I am glad I did. By the half way stage I was very much invested and interested but very rarely have I ever seen a movie where it builds up and delivers beyond your expectations at the end.
Todo sobre mi madre (1999)
It's an art film
In the sense that it has a niche audience and the writer as much says so at the end of the movie when he dedicates it to mothers. I don't think everyone would identify with this and as a man I probably didn't as much as others would. Clearly the acting was good, the actors were very believable in their roles. I am a bit annoyed that IMDB lists this as a comedy as a 'feel-good romance' and 'quirky comedy' and 'comedy drama' when it is none of those things at all. I don't recall why I added it to my watchlist or on whose recommendation 10 years ago but as I am going through it in a sequence I wanted to watch it till the end and it was worth a watch as the characters and narrative is unique even if the story itself isn't as unique.
Anita & Me (2002)
It's ok
I have lived in England for 18 years and I struggled to understand the accent in parts but got 90% of it. It's a unique story and definitely one worth telling. I had this in my watchlist for over a decade and only just got around to it as I have made that a mission. As a first generation immigrant from India, I could relate to it more than I'd wanted to, it felt hard to watch at times. I almost didn't want these thoughts. If I had seen it when I was new here, when the prospect was already so daunting, it would have scared me. Luckily now I look back at all the amazing people I've met. Hopefully the racsim continues to ease off. This movie does potray a simple & beautiful fact that despite our cultural differences we are all human and are more similar than not.
To Rome with Love (2012)
It's ok
The background score is cute and suits the movie perfectly, particularly in the first half. It's a strange one. If it's trying to potray human beings as being too fragile, shallow, easily swayed, and without much of an integrity, then that's a bit depressing.
It definitely matches the title, it's a love letter to Rome of sorts, the production team clearly love Rome.
It's all a bit silly but keeps you hooked just enough to keep watching.
Woody Allen's character is interesting, until it becomes one dimensional about the opera.
The characters story arcs don't collide and there's no grand finale.
Away (2020)
Disclaimer: only watched the trailer
And despite that I can already tell you the other reviewers are right (sort by most helpful). Some idiot drama fanatic figured out once that space is a great setting to make a drama as all the characters are stuck together and whatnot. Next thing you know, these stupid dramas are masquerading as SciFi shows when they have as much to do with SciFi as crying and fighting and miscommunication is. Worst 2.5mins I have spent on a show (trailer) and really someone needs to stop funding this crap when amazing shows are getting canceled. I know there is supply and demand and clearly some people are interested in watching this stuff, but for the sci-fi lovers at least don't label this as SciFi and call it what it is, soap opera / drama.
The Mist (2007)
I don't understand why people like to be made to feel terrible?
This movie starts exciting albeit slightly depressing, gets worse by the 3rd act and extremely depressing as all hope starts to fade and ends in the second worst possible way it could have (worst would have been if it turned out to be preaching its twisted version of religion). I don't understand how can someone enjoy it. My only guess is either some people have really happy lives so they like to see pain and misery in a controlled environment, or they're stunted and insensitive to depressing stories.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
The reviews here are true
It really is boring and I am scoring it a 4 more out of nostalgia and a few average moments.
Maybe MCU is a becoming a victim of its own success, Phase 4 as they're calling it sure seems to be. If you were disappointed by Dr. Strange you'd be disappointed by this as well.
They're doing a few formulaic things in every movie that only work the first time - you cannot keep squeezing the same lime forever - that one's out of juice and getting stale.
Also, don't show heroes enjoying violence or taking it lightly.
The Orville: Electric Sheep (2022)
S03E01 episode is extremely jarring, a completely different genre
I am a Trekkie and started watching Orville initially as it was just a bit of fun. The first few episodes in Season 1 were a bit too slapstick for me and I couldn't help comparing it to TNG and how much better the latter was. However it got better in my opinion and by end of Season 2 I would have given it a solid 8/10. By this point you know what you're getting, something in the sci-fi comedy genre that's light to watch, with some sweet poignant messages reminiscent of Star Trek, but overall an easy watch. I don't know what was on their mind or if they suddenly decided to change their genre or the entire creative team but the first episode of Season 3 should have warnings! It is one of the darkest, most hard hitting thing I have ever watched in my life, and I barely get that reaction out of anything. It was bad enough to prompt me to write a review as a warning to anyone, a warning that Oriville really should have put out themselves, if you don't want to get utterly depressed and absolutely horrified with characters you've started to love over 2 seasons, one in particular, and be jarred to the core by this sudden change of genre, maybe give S03E01 a miss or watch it after you've braced yourself!
I haven't watched any episodes after S03E01, if they have changed their genre to dark and depressing for good, I will wait till I'm in the frame of mind to watch that stuff, at least I'll be prepared when I do now, as opposed to thinking you're watching a Disney fairytale and seeing it turn into The Shining half way!
The Midnight Sky (2020)
Clichéd and Rinse-Repeat
2 hours of my life I won't get back :(
There's nothing you will see here that you haven't already seen before in other movies. It's not the so-bad-it's-good kind either. You'll be left unsatisfied and disappointed.
Issuing this review as a public service. Too late for me but save yourself.