editor-107 Reviews

Courage fuyons (1979)

A Rare Gem

[10/10 · 14 April 2021]

Since I first saw it on an obscure BBC channel in the 1980's, I have adored it. From start to finish, it is a hoot, In essence, it works so brilliantly as it portrays all the wishes and desires of the common man. Hen-pecked and trapped in a miserable marriage with a hum-drum job, the aging Middle aged Martin (Jean Rochefort) encounters Eva Silver (Catherine Deneuvre). After driving across country to Amsterdam just to see her, he tries clumsily to ask her out to see the town on his borrowed motorbike. To his amazement, she refuses saying that she is too tired, and would rather sleep with him. And so begins an insane romance that seems almost Douglas Adams in its logic, yet touching in its scenes, most of which are unique cinematic gems in their own right. Despite the sheer genius of its plot, dialogue, characters and performance, it barely survived. I own one of only 12 known surviving copies of the original VHS tapes for which I paid way over a hundred dollars and which I have held in a bank vault for ten years.. Fortunately, recently it was released on Blu-Ray allowing all those who know about it to possess finally a playable copy. If you have a chance to see it, grab it with both hands - you'll never regret it.

Fatman (2020)

Ending out of kilter

[7/10 · 28 November 2020]

I did enjoy this movie - it was a wonderful retelling of the story, however the blood, gore and high body count of the last 20 minutes really jarred badly with the rest of the movie.

Extinction (2018)

Dumb, Unimaginative and Cliche-Ridden

[1/10 · 2 August 2018]

Whoever got the funding for this must be truly exceptional in the sack. I've seen zero-budget British flicks by Drew Casson with more imagination than this. Alll the children are so persistently misbehaved that they feel like a swarm of flies on the screen as all the adults keep dying just to try to keep saving them. No-one does anything smart, they all just run around standing to make themselves easy targets as the humans and aliens just keep shooing at each other. Make-up is garbage with all the aliens looking like Hollywood actors in monkey suits that have been left in the microwave for five minutes. Adam Beach must clearly be in serious need of some urgent cash to have agreed to star in this really, really sophorific, tension-free dirge.

Tank 432 (2015)

Pretentious, Unintelligible, Artsy Bunkum

[1/10 · 30 July 2018]

With so little money and resources it is an insult to Britain's hard-pressed, underpaid workers in Britain's film industry that this pretentious garbage should be funded and produced. If there was a film that showed why Britain's film industry is always on its knees while Hollywood booms, it is this piece of pretentious garbage. Maybe as a short story, it had originally worked, but having all the plot of a bacon sandwich and the dialogue of laundry list, it is hard to see how any of the audience will be still in their seats after 5 minutes of this bunk. Who wants to see endless hypodermics in use, maggots crawling across a dummy of a man who has had his head shot off or a solider excreting the contents of his bowels in graphic detail on the big screen? With its flashes of nature and stop motion photography of plants flowering and dying in one day, total chaos is added to the confusion of this plotless dirge. Tasteless, incomprehesible, artsy bunkum.

How It Ends (2018)

113 Minutes of Talentless Violence

[1/10 · 30 July 2018]

Although the description states that the cause of the apocalypse is mysterious, abandoning the public with no explanation in the last reel is, frankly insulting. After sitting through this trite claptrap with two hours of washed up actors mowing each other down in endless bouts of flat, tedious action, the audience deserve some sort of explanation for this wasting of such a bit piece of their lives, but sadly the director an writers think not and leave them with nothing but an empty feeling. A road trip to nowhere.

The Rain (2018–2020)

Zombie Flick Without The Zombies

[1/10 · 30 July 2018]

Although the first episode has some great fun moments, it goes steadily downhill thereafter. Centred on the life of Simone, played by Alba August, a lazy waster actress who can't be bothered even to wipe the sleep out of her eyes before she goes in front of a camera, the plot is fundamentally flawed,for there is no explanation of why, exactly, clouds would only drop their lethal, virus-bearing rain within the Quarantine Zone. Riddled with flashbacks that hack up the flow of the action, this amateurish nonsense really feels like a Masterclass in lousy screenwriting, not least as the plot bears a striking similarity to the one parodied by Steve Martin in the film "Bowfinger".

Salvation (2017–2018)

"Deep Impact" with all the excitement deleted

[1/10 · 30 July 2018]

This undiluted snore-fest feels like all the cutting room floor sweepings from "Deep Impact" and "Contact" have been spliced together by a bunch of Junior High students as a prank. All the usual suspects that one would expect in a cheesy conspiracy movie are here: the dashing entrepreneur with money from nowhere, the congressman who can't keep his pants up and is having an affair with his secretary, the young, eager journalist, the crusty old professor mentoring the hapless student with yards of incoherent and technically wrong technobabble... and all played by the most talentless actors who should have remained unknown as anyone were would have heard of before has clearly been warned off by their agent. As they spout lines that sound as if they were written on the back of a packet of Marlboro, a plot as flat as Kansas meanders along, hour after interminable hour, where no-one does anything but clumsiest of predictable, trite responses, backed up by not even a hint of a special effects nor interesting camera angle. What is least believable, however, is that this turgid, unoriginal claptrap even reached a second episode without being pulled, let alone was commissioned to run for a second series as it is nothing but a big slice of their lives of the viewing public wasted that they'll never get back. Dull, dull, dull.

Ace of Wands (1970–1972)

An explanation of many aspects of Ace Of Wands

[10/10 · 2 August 2017]

I loved "Ace Of Wands" when it was on, but was never allowed to see it unless I was at my grandmothers in Brighton (rare) when my parents no longer had control over what was on "the box".

Sadly, one of the things that crippled it was the level of complaints. As it dealt with magic and was a children's show, Thames TV was besieged by complaints from British fundamentalist Christians who kept demanding that it was pulled. Briefly, it held the World Record, according to Guinness, as the most complained about TV show in history and newspapers were filled with damning letters about it. However, in this day and age, in this era of Harry Potter, it seems laughable for such a response to such a tame, well meant and well produced show, entirely free from sex and violence. Sadly, this pretty much stopped any large scale merchandising of "Ace Of Wands" by Thames.

Turbo Dogs (2008–2011)

Cartoon encouraging children to commit crime

[23 September 2011]

This is a cartoon with knockabout characters that is exceedingly badly thought out. With "lovable characters" and lame jokes, it would appear to be attractive to children. Indeed, the quality of the computer-generated graphics is quite passable. I find it exceptionally disturbing that a programme for children should encourage them to commit criminal acts. In the episode (aired 23rd September 2011 on CBC) that I have just seen they race to try to obtain a photograph back from a mail truck after it has been posted. This is a serious crime carrying up to 8 years in prison. This seems strange for a Canadian production, but nonetheless, it is a series that should, frankly, be kept from your child and be strongly rated.

Sword of Justice (1978–1979)

Strangely watchable

[8/10 · 19 September 2009]

When I was a teenager, i would excitedly await each episode each week on British TV. Part of the delight about it was the ingenuity of the way that he would take down the criminals that he was challenging, rather than the standard punch up and corner the baddie in the control room that is common in the genre (cf James Bond). Indeed, Jack Cole wold usually find a way to ensure that the villains would turn on each other or defeat themselves.

For a TV series that lasted only 9 episodes, it certainly went out on a high note with Blackjack, regarded by many as the best episode. After Union funds have been embezzled to finance a mob-run Casino, the Feds have the problem that by the time they audit the books, the Casino will have been able to repay the money. Cole's solution? Stop the Casino repaying the money by bankrupting it on its own Blackjack table. His plan is so ingenious that it is said to have scared various real life Casinos in Las Vegas who realised that it might actually be possible.

As a period piece, it is also glorious to watch.

The one sad fact about the show though is that it is utterly unobtainable now. If only they would bring it out again as some sort of cult classic.

Impostor (2001)

This was BAD

[1/10 · 20 June 2009]

With wobbly sets and dismal over-acting, it is a movie that would shame even we Boll. Flashy computer graphics are no substitute for plot, and development of characters who were fortunate to even reach one-dimension.

By the time Gary Sinse is running through a cyberpunk underworld city that looks like a bad Duran Duran pop video, you give up pleading with whoever put the video on. By then, regardless of the threat of arrest, you just can't stop yourself chucking their VCR and all out the 4th floor window to escape watching any more.

$6.11 million gross? If I were into selling timeshares or insurance by phone what I wouldn't give for a list of the suckers who actually laid out cash to see this!

Cyber City Oedo 808 (1990–1991)

Possibly The Best Japanation Of All Time

[9/10 · 12 September 2007]

The plot might seem simple and well worn, three criminals offered a reprieve if they take the cases for the Police that no-one else will take, but the development has been truly awesome. Indeed, I have brought the series several times, only to have people who were friends be prepared to become enemies, just for a chance to run off with my copy.

Curiously, I loathe most Manga with its convoluted and contrived stories and gross out monsters ravaging innocent little girls, yet this avoids all that junk and deeply appeals, even to me. Each f the tales is told in the style of the three, highly imaginative characters: Sengoku, a sort of Sam Spade of the 28th Century: Gogul, a monstrous thug who is also a grandmaster at computer-hacking and Bensen, a transvestite who, despite all his shinny nail varnish, is an expert assassin.

Sadly, the series has one, monumental drawback, THEY ONLY EVER MADE THREE. Why, I have no idea. I even phoned the studio in frustration when I discovered this, yet was blandly assured that the project simply ran for three episodes and then they moved onto something else. It's like breaking the home-run record for a season and then quitting baseball before you've picked up the trophy. Now that was a TRUE CRIME ...worthy of Senguku.

Get Charlie Tully (1972)

All The Joy Of Annihilation

[7/10 · 19 November 2006]

I remember this film vividly which I saw as a 12 year old.

It is true to say that much of the set gags were somewhat gaudy humour and many of the scenes are contrived to allow Emery to show off his various characters doing their set pieces that we had seen a ten dozen times before in his TV series. Even so, the movie has one central saving factor that made it a hoot. It is how the central character is able to walk through endless assassination attempts unscathed as the two criminal gangs out to kill him keep mutually liquidating each other in the most amusing of manners.

ll-in-all, worth seeing, but not worth busting the bank to buy on ebay.

United 93 (2006)

A Story Of Heroism, not Patriotism

[10/10 · 24 April 2006]

That this was by the British Working Title films is a mark of authenticity and one that is deserved.

Unoted 93 is the embarrassingly frank and honest witness. It lays bare questions like why were there only 4 planes available to Major Fox? Why Sliney at the FAA couldn't get help from the Pentagon? And just why would not Chaney give the rules of engagement? At best it show the US Administration pf not having the competence to run a bath and at worst of collusive conspiracy. Furthermore, the film shows no aftermath with no comment on wreckage evidence.

Whether 9/11 was a put-up job or the result of a co-ordinated terrorist attack is not the centre of the film. It is the heroism of both those in the air - the banding together of the passengers to attempt a feat never done before that could never have been predicted by whoever plans such tragedies. Likewise, decisive action by the FAA's Sliney (on his first day on the job) and the military's Major Fox and the professionalism of their Air Traffic Controllers is a true testimony of how Government OUGHT TO WORK.

Its 7 hours since I left the Press Preview and I'm still fighting back the tears - a remarkable feat to do to a newspaper editor. It's like open heart surgery - a painful and unpleasant experience, but one we all need to put the trivia in our lives in perspective and value that that is true and precious. GO!

The Water Margin (1973– )

Wonderful

[10/10 · 11 September 2005]

Loved this as a child and watched it religiously on BBC2 every week. It was very much centred on story rather than mindless violence, a sort of Robin Hood and King Arthur in one. It also featured an interesting mix, not only of martial arts but also of wizards, clever tricks, evil villains... It also conveyed well the concepts of good, bad, betrayal and other timeless morals that can be understood anywhere rather than being a front for Chinese propaganda as I found HERO to be. The movement was also believable rather than looking like people at he end of wires. Breaks my heart to see so much rubbish on the big screen these days, yet Hollywood has never made this into a Blockbuster. Certainly one to rent or buy if you can!