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Drew Michael: Red Blue Green (2021)
Depressing TED talk disguised as Stand up.
Pretentious glib with a punchline here and there, but overall a boring oversharing from a person that seems to hate what they do.
Seriously Drew, do something else, because you seem to hate comedy.
This was not funny.
Goon: Last of the Enforcers (2017)
Sequel not needed
This was an unnecessary sequel. Not a horrible one, but unnecessary.
Enjoyable as long as you skip all the scenes that features Jay Baruchel.
Kenan (2021)
Hope this is a sign Kenan is finally leaving SNL.
No one thinks Kenan is funnier than Kenan, that's very clear to anyone who's been watching Saturday Night Live the last 17 years.
But I doubt even Kenan managed to muster a laugh at this show.
Weak writing, shoddy camera work and mumbling actors.
Unless you're masochistic, do yourself a favour and skip this show.
Outback Opal Hunters (2018)
Overdramatic drivel.
Interesting subject, but way too americanized and overdramatic show.
Ridiculous narrator and music, who tries to make everything sound dramatic as F.
Slaughter's Big Rip-Off (1973)
Slaughter's back!
Hey all you jive hustlers, you stone foxes, you mean dudes. Watch out cause Slaughter is back in town! If you are looking for a bad-ass, funky film to watch some night, this is just right. 'Slaughter' is back and trying to take it easy n' relax after his adventures down in Mexico. But if you are a narrow-minded gangster like 'Duncan', you are bound to seek revenge. Why, I don't know. Was 'Hoffo' in the first one his brother or what? Any who. The movie starts off with the old "assassination from a plane" routine. We all know that that is THE most effective way for taking out one guy in a picnic, full of people. Needless to say Slaughter survives the ordeal, but Cmndt. Eric Lassard, sorry George Gaynes I mean isn't that lucky. SMACK!! Also Slaughters best friend Pratt is killed. This is the start of a grand adventure, filled with the hippest, funkiest music James Brown himself has to offer. That's right 'The Godfather of Soul' has put his trademark up on this bad-boy. In addition to Jim Brown in the lead part, this movie is filled with some of the biggest names the blaxploitation scene has to offer. How about Scatman Crothers, Dick Anthony Williams, Gloria Hendry and Brock Peters. In other parts we see none other than Judith M. Brown and last but definitely least the fantastic Don Stroud as the evil henchman.
Gli orrori del castello di Norimberga (1972)
No Crimson Executioner but good non the less
If you are expecting something down the line of 'Bloody Pit of Horror', you are just like me and dead wrong. I was on pins and needles the first half hour, just to be let down. There is nothing about 'Baron Otto Von Kleist' that even come close to the awesome 'Crimson Executioner' in 'Bloody Pit of Horror'. On the other hand one is supernatural and the other one is just a madman driven by the lust to kill. Where was I? That's right! Back to the story.. The young heir 'Peter Kleist' comes to his ancestors old castle to supervise the sale of the place. There he meets the stunning 'Eva Arnold' played by Elke Sommer. He has only just arrived and struck a pose before people start disappearing and all traces points to the mentally retarded grounds-keeper. Yeah right! That fool couldn't kill an afternoon on his back. But who is it then? Watch it and find out.
Wolfen (1981)
Dewey Wilson is the worst cop EVER!!
At first glance Wolfen might look just like any other werewolf-movie, but that's a big no-no. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. This 80's horror isn't just misleading it's downright awful. Albert Finney stars as detective Dewey Wilson. A New York police-officer that does things his own way. When dismembered bodies starts to turn up around the city, Dewey naturally turns towards the native-Americans, because as anybody who has seen a western-film knows, 'injuns' can shape-shift(?). Anyhow, this worthless excuse for a police runs around the ruins of south Bronx trying to find a supernatural beast that can rip peoples head straight off. But he never really does any police work and he runs as soon as he suspects that there might be something dangerous in the surroundings. Of course he hooks up with his partner without any previous flirtations. I guess that's just how it was in the early 80's, before AIDS and work ethics was invented. Dewey is nothing more than a puppet, standing in the side-line, observing without grasping a thing. I can understand that he just stands, gun lowered, when his boss is attacked (who wouldn't), but he just lets his friends drop dead one by one too. Act dammit!! The summation and standing impression of this film is that Dewey Wilson is the worst police EVER, and I don't talk Bad Lieutenant bad. Just totally worthless.
Dabide no hoshi: Bishôjo-gari (1979)
This boy knows how to play
This might be up your alley, but chance is that it isn't. The whole thing starts of one rainy night with an escaped sex-convict, a happily married couple and some rope. You can sort of figure out the rest of that evening. The wife ends up pregnant and her husband can never get over the fact that it isn't his child, so he humiliates and tortures her until the day she 'off's' herself. The sons grows to be a man unworthy of his 'fathers' love and constantly reminded of his horrible heritage. Whit a dick like that as your dad, you just have to search for your roots, don't you? Hooking up with chicks isn't a problem for this rich playboy, so he builds himself a dungeon to store them in. The rest of the film is filled with torture, murder and mayhem, but also real lust and true love. Wait a minute, you might say. What ever happened to his biological father? What? You want me to tell you the whole damned movie? Just watch it already!
PS. All timid girls aren't as timid as they might look.
Heartstopper (2006)
The worst film I've seen in a very long time
I just watched it and I am angry. How can they be allowed to produce such a bad film! For your own sake, don't watch it!! You'll save yourself a irritating ordeal. There is nothing with this film that is good.. I normally Like low-budget horrors and slashers like the ones from Troma, but this is a new low. The acting is really poor, the directing sucks, the story is laughable but the worst thing about it is the dialogue. Save the world and burn every copy ever produced of this piece of S***. If I could rate it lower, I would!! Minus 10 is more suitable. An advice to all the actors in it; Stop try to act. You are terrible!! You don't have to take my word for it. But you should. //An angry Markus