Change Your Image
Talonrock
Reviews
Mummy Maniac (2007)
Don't judge a DVD by it's cover art.
The $500 budget must have been spent on the cop uniform and the cover art. I picked up this movie cause I was intrigued by the name and the cover art. The production value is horrible. Filmed in a small bathroom of a club, most of the props are badly staged. The lines delivered by the "cop" are monotone and lack feeling. No wonder the actor only has one credit. He slices the throat of the third victim. She's dead but the actress is still moving. He goes to wash off the blade but the blade and sink are completely clean, no blood. All the actresses move after being killed. When he mutilates the body with a drill or pick ax, there is no blood splatter. Only see the breast of the 2nd victim over and over even after the killer as moved on to other victims. Most of the actors have no character names in the credit because either they couldn't afford to attach one or they are too embarrassed to be associated with the film. Can't bear to watch the entire film. Yes it's that bad.
Snow Beast (2011)
Good cast but bad direction, so predictable
The cast is good but the writing and direction is so predictable. In the original Snowbeast 1977, you didn't see the beast until the very end so you never knew what it looked like. It made it more interesting. This snowbeast is fully seen right from the start. It's so predictable that he pops up right beside you each time even to the bitter end. Smaller cast than (less carnage) the original so not as many background actors which shows off the cheap budget. Overall less imaginative. The Snowbeast costume is well done. The special effects are very lack luster. If you have not seen the original, skip this one, you're not missing anything.
Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
Please no more installments, this one was bad!
I loved the series. And I own the previous 3 Resident Evils. This movie was the worse installment of the series. It was slow to start and I kept falling asleep in the first 15 minutes. Where are the zombies? You don't see the zombies until the end and they aren't zombies. They ran out of ideas and rehashed the old villains from Tremors 3 and Silent Hill. They lost the storyline in the script. The special effects were good. But the fight scenes were lacking in action and drama. They tried to make more prototypes of "Alice" and lost the sense of the original heroine. I hope this is the last one, I won't waste anymore time or money on future installments. This series is one thing that is dead that needs to stay dead.
Mega Piranha (2010)
Syfy moves getting worse with each new "original movie"
This is one of the worst movies I have seen on SyFy. Their ability to make good movies decrease with every new "original movie" they make. While the location shots were great the film itself was one of the worst I have ever seen. Paul Logan was the only good actor in the movie. It was hard to see Barry Williams diminish his star quality by doing such a low quality picture. Tiffany proves she has no acting skills at all. She could not deliver lines while doing anything else. One scene she was running from danger, had to stop, deliver lines and wait for someone to give her a cue to run again. The extras were just as bad! Doesn't look like they were given any direction in what to do. One scene they go to arrest the hero and he's not there. They just stood there and looked around, no movement just stood in look. I would only recommend this film to film students wanting to know what to do to make a quality film.
The Marine (2006)
Boring!
Being a military veteran I was really psyched about a military movie and went with other military buddies to go see it. You can tell that it was produced by the WWE/WWF because it was unrealistic. It was all about John Cena. I would have liked to seen more of his wife. I think John Cena would be a great action hero but needs a much better script that this one and not being produced by the WWE/WWF.
I mean how can one man go thru an entire movie with all the fight sequences, car chases and crash, and everything else and come thru uninjured? If you look at this t-shirt that he wears thru almost the entire movie, there is not even one glimpse of any armpit stains, dirt, blood or rips in the clothing. I don't even remember the shirt being wet 60 seconds after he comes out of a river canal. They show several closeups to show his masculine face and no sweat, not even during a fight. Only until the very last scene do they put one little rip on one of the shoulders and smudge and dirty him up a bit and add some sweat.
This movie had a lot of potential but I will never see another film produced by WWE/WWF. I hope this is not the only movie he does but for God's sake no more WWE/WWF movies. I think when "The Rock" went out onto a movie career, he didn't use the WWE/WWF and his movies were much better.
Keep trying John!
Population 436 (2006)
An interesting remake * Possible Spoiler
I actually enjoyed this movie but it reminded me of a movie with a very similar plot. The Lottery which started Dan Cortese and Kerri Russell also deals with a small simple idealic town where the residents have a "festival" each year. I was surprised to see Fred Durst as a sheriff's deputy. He actually is a very good actor which really shows in his in-depth, complex character portrayal.
Jeremy Sisto plays a man who visits the town on business but the residents are convinced he's there to stay.
*Possible Spoiler----Look for the "Ozzy & Harriet" family of 4 living in the underground jail cell until they find a new place. A great place in the movie for a comedic scene without taking away from the dramatic moment going on, in fact it only adds to it. The Mother actually closes and locks the family back in while offering her husband a fresh blueberry muffin.
I think you would definitely enjoy it, if you like suspenseful movies. I'm adding it to my collection.