robNorseman Reviews

The Killer (2023)

Killed by words

[3/10 · 14 November 2023]

Firstly I have no problems with dark slow stylised films. I am not an action junkie. But when I watch a film I like to find myself believing in the character. So when watching a film about a professional hit man I want to see tactical decisions and skill sets that make sense. Not endless basic mistakes that would have made his chosen career extremely short lived. His tradecraft as a professional killer were at times just awful. The smiths soundtrack was ok ...and infact Morissey might have made a better hit man...after all ... He did kill hector and put his girlfriend in a coma... Much like this film did to me.

Reptile (2023)

Complex moody thriller of True detective genre

[8/10 · 29 September 2023]

This film could have easily been a series of True Detective.... the filming, atmosphere and music are very of that genre... this is a long film and not for the action lovers. It's thoughtful well written and you need to be awake and concentrating. If you like this pace of film you will enjoy it and the plot is complex and cleverly developed... I won't spoil it... there are web sites that fully explain it. I believe it's got a 7/10 rating due to some impatient poor reviews by people not suited to the pace and genre. I would say if you like the true detective series 1 you might enjoy this ... but if you wants a shoot out every two minutes and an easy plot line... I'd give it a miss.

Gangs of London (2020– )

Style over substance unrealistic

[5/10 · 26 November 2022]

Loads of back to back violent scenes is not the only ingredient of a great crime gang series. The attention to detail is poor and at times ludicrous. Example firearms transported across Europe in a hvg in wooden boxes with big red diamond warning labels on... Much like you'd expect to see arms transported. I think it would alert a 5 yr old. The programme basically lumbers from one violent death to another. Infact it got so bad I ended up on Google wondering how many hedgehogs there are in Lancashire. By this time I'd completely lost track of who was shooting who for who and why. If you like loads of violence with no real coherent point with some stylised music imagery.. this might be for you. If you like realism, good story and script ... Might wanna give it a swerve.

Bullet Train (2022)

Must be paid reviews

[4/10 · 13 November 2022]

I wanted to love this. Love the Pitt... Good cast... Good setting. Don't get me wrong there is some Guy Ritchie n Tarrantino eque dialogue.... There is also some good potential action sequences... But ultimately it feels like Ritchie n Tino were asleep on a diesel train 🤣🤣🤣 Look... It's not a dreadful film its just not good and I regret paying to see it. But what I'm most annoyed at is the clearly false reviews ... So I would have given this 6 stars but to redress the balance of clearly false reviews ....wait til it's free .... Go watch once upon a time in the west .......take care .......wbwg ..

1883 (2021–2022)

Rating anomalies theory

[7/10 · 4 September 2022]

I think alot of people review this series 2to3 episodes in. It starts off interesting and then sadly slides into a few common mistakes. Firstly: the writing, cinematography, score are good. The dramatic music is often over intrusive to elicit emotion.. over done. The characters are good and acting pretty good. Accuracy and authenticity take a back seat in many aspects ... As with many shows .. people have obviously beautiful teeth and bleached hair. Isobel May is clearly of darker hair than her character ... She looks more like a petulant teenage ranch owners daughter from 1983. Lastly I dislike it's descent into woke stereotypes of applaud all strong women and ethnicity whilst vilifying all white men as stupid or cruel. They should have used the correct route from Tennessee to Oregon and they should have used more oxen to pull the waggons. In conclusion its a good series but just accept the flaws.

Top Boy (2011–2023)

Misjudged n avoided until now

[9/10 · 16 August 2022]

I've largely avoided this series because I thought it would be bad story bad acting with posh drama school teens as gangsters n hood rats. I was wrong ... It's a great story very well crafted n filmed. The acting is very good too. So I came late to the party... But at least I'm here now.

Keep Breathing (2022)

Had potential failed

[4/10 · 12 August 2022]

Such good potential... Flash backs are utterly pointless n wasted scenes. The fact the guy dies got rid of a Decent potential story about their interactions. Massive wasted opportunity ... But mostly ... Why oh why would a couple of drugs traffickers do that flights for a few bottles of Oxy n few thousand dollars ... Then why on earth would they take her along just because she was stroppy n entitled... Garbage.

Hannibal (2013–2015)

Love n hate this series

[7/10 · 2 July 2022]

Season 1..I love Mads and his character... Dancy 's character is SO EXTREMELY ANNOYING. The ludicrous notion that someone so obviously suffering from mental health would be allowed to be active for FBI and armed is stupid. Fishburn character acts thick AF in ignoring insane behaviour. And no one thinks to even really look at Hannibal... But I feel this series is ruined by the flash backs n deranged behaviour of Dancy's character. Also the fact they find it necessary to say Garret Jacob Hobbs using his full name every two seconds.

All the Old Knives (2022)

Yaaaaawn

[4/10 · 9 April 2022]

Ponderous slow ... dark (as in badly lit) mumbling dialogue... Over trying to create atmosphere.... Using monotone music hinting at something exciting about to happen ...which doesn't.

Joe Bell (2020)

This deserves better reviews

[10/10 · 7 April 2022]

How ever does this film not get better reviews ... Subject, story, acting, dialogue all very good. It deserves 8/10 but I've give it 10/10 to build it up. Sad film and a sad story of bullying which could be about anything not just sexuality.

Chloe (2022)

Vapid boring over indulgent rubbish

[2/10 · 11 February 2022]

I actually be watched ...or was present ... For the whole thing... Like being awake for your own amputation.

I didn't find it to be anything like a thriller or intense...

Just a boring story about a narcissistic girl with aspirations to live amongst rich people ... They've weaved this narrative into the death of her friend ..

The acting is ok for a UK drama to be fair ... But I literally could not have given less of a fudge about the ending... Because the story progresses so little and so slow it literally is like the definition of watching paint dry.

Fantasy Island (2020)

The list is too long

[1/10 · 30 January 2022]

My wife made me watch this film. Not ten minutes then turn it off... No she wanted to watch the whole awful thing. I'm very kind I left it on... The list is far to long as to why this film is garbage. I mean ... Corporations actually financed this dog toffee. Save yourself a portion of your life go and watch some paint dry.

Looper (2012)

Flawed but interesting concept

[6/10 · 3 January 2022]

It was an interesting film ...but I could never shake the pointlessness of it. The central concept that organised crime can't kill people in the future due to tagging and identification of bodies... So they send them back to a coordinate via time travel in the past where a looper kills them for silver... So why not just set the Time travel coordinates to that of various active volcanoes... Save alot of hassle. .. 👍

But the acting was ok and the side story was ok too.. it's worth a watch if you can get over the ridiculous premiss.

Inception (2010)

Exhausting pace over rated

[5/10 · 3 January 2022]

I felt the need to review this film because at 8.8 I feel it is being reviewed in the same class as some truly great films ... Firstly I fully understood the film and thought the idea and effects were very good as was the acting. The main issue I had with this film was that there was seemingly endless portion of it that was just full on panic drama shooting effects slo Mo's etc. Less of a rollercoaster ride more of a wall of death.. some people might like a film paced in such a way ....but I don't. I like the pace of a story to give you ups and downs.. a mix of dialogue and action... Stress and calm... Ying n Yang if you will. This film film should even out as a rating of about 7.5 imho ..which is still a good rating ...but 8.8 I really think is too high.

Don't Look Up (2021)

This is about you

[9/10 · 25 December 2021]

Whether comet covid or anything else ... This is clever satire and ironically will go straight over the heads of the very people it's directed at. I think 80% of Americans will neither understand or like this film. Which is a great shame because it's about them and it's frighteningly close to true.

It's well produced and acted ... It's a satirical kick in the guts.

Riders of Justice (2020)

Chaos theory or conspiracy

[8/10 · 24 December 2021]

Chaos theory or conspiracy ... Is a very topical subject in current times. I am a Mads fan.. the hunt, another round, Valhalla etc

This is a good story touching and humourous too... Somewhat implausible gunfights but hey who cares... Watch it...it's worth your time.

Wrath of Man (2021)

Really wanted to love it as a Heat fan

[5/10 · 10 December 2021]

Started of ok... Statham a bit too non verbal Mr Cool... Given the unraveling story ...as an undercover person he drew HUGE attention to himself from word go. The entire premise made very little sense... Why they killed his son who was a bystander given they had masks I've no idea. I usually like Guy Ritchie films... But this neither had the story, plot, humour or style. It was stilted dialogue.. with little of the Ritchie panache... It's worth a watch if your bored... But you may nod off ... But then just wake up n put Heat or Ronin on ...

The Rhythm Section (2020)

Deserves better review

[8/10 · 28 November 2021]

I think this gets low reviews because it's not nikkita nor is it a shoot em up ... I felt it was more realistic n dark... It's a good story and well acted .. Jude law is very good ... Watch it with an open mind.

Lucky (I) (2017)

Just so real n touching

[10/10 · 24 September 2021]

It was a fantastic performance by Harry... After which he shortly died.. which makes it even more poignant. When you watch it... Look in his eyes ..

Walking Out (2017)

Dull n full of nonsense

[4/10 · 21 September 2021]

The story of an estranged bullying dad and a spoilt teen son. Dad trying to recreate his nostalgic view of his own rights of passage macho nonsense. You start off liking neither of them... You are meant to grow to like them... But I just didn't ...their clothing n rifle safety is attrocious too.

The House That Jack Built (2018)

Intriguing nasty movie

[6/10 · 18 September 2021]

First off Matt Dillon is very good in this film... And the effects play a part in making this quite a realistic nasty film... If that's what you like to watch it may be for you... But I simply found it nihilistic nasty.

The story and premis of the film is fine... It is somewhat ponderous ... And yet you are slowly pulled along to see what nasty thing is gonna happen next . And sure enough you won't be disappointed.

Something's Gotta Give (2003)

It's ok usual Jack Nic stuff but

[5/10 · 10 September 2021]

I bashed knitting needles into my ears to not have to hear Keaton cry/laugh/talk.

Stratton (2017)

You might like this IF...

[3/10 · 9 September 2021]

You've lived in a cave for ten years and know absolutely nothing about the military, special forces, intelligence agencies, weapons etc OR acting.

Cliche casting... fancy Mi6 tottie with dark beardy SF operators.. and swarthy bad men.

Plot n premiss is kinda ok... But directing acting and execution very poor. Main actor if ok blonde Mi6 woman ... Worst acting I've seen since a primary school nativity play in 2004.

If you literally have to stay indoors and have nothing else to watch and you can't find a copy of Ronin or Heat .... Then watch it ... But don't expect too much.

Centigrade (2020)

Frustrating and sad in many ways

[3/10 · 13 January 2021]

Frustrating because of the catalogue of poor decisions and mistakes....

1. To pull over n fall asleep allowing your car to be buried in a blizzard

2. Not to immediately use the headrest prongs to smash 1 of the 2 sunroofs..

The list goes on

Sad because if true the lady who survived has to potentially read these reviews

Can't be easy

Calm with Horses (2019)

Very misunderstood film I these reviews.

[7/10 · 1 November 2020]

Firstly it is a sad gritty portrayal of criminal families retribution and loyalty set in rural Ireland...

It's not a Guy Ritchie film, it's not got clever lines and arty montages set to current edgy. Trendy music.

The lead role is much maligned in some reviews as wooden and poor actor. I could not disagree more... Firstly he's playing the part of a quiet man who has learned a way in the world through violence and misplaced loyalty. Its clear that as well as his little boy being far on the autistic spectrum that so is he. So infact imho he plays the role very well...

The film is tense and brooding and yes it's depressing... But hey watch Mary Poppins if you don't like gritty films.

If you are looking for stylish gangsta movies... Move along... But otherwise give this film your time...